xalexx [2003-12-18 22:59:52 +0000 UTC]

I thought this was your strongest work. Here the emotion comes across clearly, with a lovely ending. 'Not sure if this is real' gave the whole poem a spin... that the person who always beats you is maybe you inside... what you wish you had said at the time. This is just the way I interpret it.
Check... Theres : There's ; Your : You're
Nice length and balance, and also good spacing to break it up. Take care, Alex.

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Smellypoo [2003-12-17 19:28:08 +0000 UTC]

hmmm not bad. im a very honest guy, and to tell u the truth this is probably the only decent poem youvge got. and i agree with ~unattached. it would be nice if u had more to say. that last line does leave me hangin.
keep this work up

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thecobra [2003-11-25 20:09:21 +0000 UTC]

one word: nice

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unattached [2003-11-24 23:35:06 +0000 UTC]

the last line kind of leaves me hanging. it makes me want this poem to continue. i need some closure with this piece. other than that i like it. def a good poem

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O-Wise-Master [2003-11-21 01:46:16 +0000 UTC]

I hate that feeling - of being in someone' shadow - by goodness it's my turn to shine!

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fallenengel1 [2003-11-20 01:20:50 +0000 UTC]

I like the way this flows. I think everyone has had a friend that way that way

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Warmaster [2003-11-19 12:34:45 +0000 UTC]

My favorite thing about this poem was the meter and phrasing. Very unique.

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trinity3d3 [2003-11-18 02:01:31 +0000 UTC]

Im not so sure about the poem, its like you know what you want to say and you know how you feel, but you cant exactly put it into words...I think that if you were to try and elaborate on it, maybe goin into more detail about how you are always lurking in the shadows behind them and how you long just to tell them everything, to talk without end...I think you have a very nice beginning and concept here...but I do think that you can turn this into something a little more fitting of your talent
__

Your like a splinter in my mind

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