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Description

The absent-minded professor left her office in a rush to deliver a stack of papers and folders to a colleague across the campus quad. As she was already running late, the professor made what would turn out to be a grave error by skipping her usual morning coffee. Electing instead to bolt out into the paved walkway through the building's heavy wooden double-doors completely decaffeinated. She called her department chair as she briskly walked along the path away from her office. A passionate phone conversation ensued as the jittery and distracted professor attempted to talk and multi-task with a leather portfolio tucked under her right arm, a cellphone in her left hand, a Bluetooth headset in one ear, and the stack of documents balancing between both forearms. Her defenders on social media would later say that these distractions, in combination with her lack of coffee, caused the professor to miss the obvious bright orange cones placed around campus to signify "Little People at Work". The campus prides itself on being a tolerant and progressive place where equity, justice, and respect are afforded to both Bigs and Littles alike. So when the professor stepped between one of the sets of cones and crushed the legs of a tiny worker, there was immediate outrage among the college community. The little worker left paralyzed was a father of two. He never even stood a chance as the professor's giant patent-leather flats crashed down onto his ant-sized body while desperately attempting to dive away from its path. The other little workers were unharmed but psychologically scarred and traumatized by the whole dreadful experience. The professor would be put on academic leave, pending a full investigation.

(Check out this alternate version of the event in which the Professor steps on the tiny work crew on purpose, stops, and proceeds to finish them all off. Here, you can see through the sole of her shoe as if they were made of glass.)

Description

The absent-minded professor left her office in a rush to deliver a stack of papers and folders to a colleague across the campus quad. As she was already running late, the professor made what would turn out to be a grave error by skipping her usual morning coffee. Electing instead to bolt out into the paved walkway through the building's heavy wooden double-doors completely decaffeinated. She called her department chair as she briskly walked along the path away from her office. A passionate phone conversation ensued as the jittery and distracted professor attempted to talk and multi-task with a leather portfolio tucked under her right arm, a cellphone in her left hand, a Bluetooth headset in one ear, and the stack of documents balancing between both forearms. Her defenders on social media would later say that these distractions, in combination with her lack of coffee, caused the professor to miss the obvious bright orange cones placed around campus to signify "Little People at Work". The campus prides itself on being a tolerant and progressive place where equity, justice, and respect are afforded to both Bigs and Littles alike. So when the professor stepped between one of the sets of cones and crushed the legs of a tiny worker, there was immediate outrage among the college community. The little worker left paralyzed was a father of two. He never even stood a chance as the professor's giant patent-leather flats crashed down onto his ant-sized body while desperately attempting to dive away from its path. The other little workers were unharmed but psychologically scarred and traumatized by the whole dreadful experience. The professor would be put on academic leave, pending a full investigation.

(Check out this alternate version of the event in which the Professor steps on the tiny work crew on purpose, stops, and proceeds to finish them all off. Here, you can see through the sole of her shoe as if they were made of glass.)