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spoems — language
#face #beautiful #joy #life
Published: 2015-08-10 05:14:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 920; Favourites: 22; Downloads: 0
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Description
I see herforaging
for joy
in the tiniest of things
and pretend
I know the world
as well.
Somewhere
on her lips and cheeks -
a myriad of flights
and plumes,
the sweet
dichotomies
between
her muscle
cantering
the pace
of summer
and lounging
with the artless peace
of willows
guarding
waters’ edge,
I find
what she is
looking for -
a pair
of shadows
in her eyes.
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Comments: 24
It's not especially short, but it feels short and sweet.
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Hey, it's good to see you around! Hope yoi've been well. Thanks for reading. You're right, it is a short poem, made to seem longer by shortening the lines and elongating the form. I find that it usually causes someone to reflect more on the individual words when you present the verse this way.
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lovely cadence and a warmth that is joyous to me..
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Thanks, Chris! Glad it comes off joyous.
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I was pleasantly surprised by this piece. A little different approach than your usual- but just as good, nonetheless.
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Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. What would you say makes the approach here different than usual?
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It could be that certain works of yours stand out more in my mind and have skewed my view of your writing style, but, for what it's worth, this is what stood out to me-
Simpler word choices (while still being smart and well played).
Smaller groups stanza/strophs- almost like each is a footstep.
The imagery seems a little less intense than usual. It's rich and draws-in, but it's not overpowering.
All of these work in your favor here.
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Thanks for the insight. That's exactly what I would hope you'd notice about it. I do make a conscious effort to simply on occasion.
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Romantic. Beautiful. I love the 3rd and 5th stanza.
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Thanks! I'm glad to hear that you like it.
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Damn, I've missed your writing. Going back into your gallery to re-fav everything...
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Hey, good to see you back around. Thanks for stopping by and reading.
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Heart fluttering material 
I hope you are peacing out wherever you may be, sir!
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Thanks, Natty. I am at peace.
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I'm wondering if muscle is the one I'm thinking of.
Anyway I do like your poem and the way it was phrased. I like the choice of words.
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It would be the muscle that has a beat.
I appreciate the read. Thanks.
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Ah! Ok makes but more sense.
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Great job with this piece! The only thing that kind of threw me off was the use of the word "cantering" in the 5th stanza. It may just be my opinion, but I don't think you meant to evoke the image of horses in relation to her facial muscles.
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Thanks for reading and for the feedback. No, the "muscle" being referenced is not in the face. Same for the act of "lounging". Perhaps the title is too limiting or misleading. I will give that some thought.
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Don't change a thing. *The heart muscle cantering to the pace of summer*, it takes time to think it through, which is the whole point of reading and re-reading poetry. This is a great piece. 
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Thanks for reading and offering your thoughts. I do agree that poetry should sometimes lead to thinking.
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