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Published: 2010-02-06 02:46:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 4156; Favourites: 58; Downloads: 9
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The weather's been getting warmer, slowly but steadily, and with each day of sunshine, Hanna gets even more chipper than usual. He hadn't really thought such a thing was possible, but it seems Hanna's constantly surprising him.Case in point: he returns from his nightly walk to find Hanna already awake, dressed, and staring out the window with an obvious air of barely-contained excitement. The click of the door shutting makes him turn, his grin giant and welcoming as ever. "Amairgin!" (Apparently that's him for today. He'll have to look it up later; he's sure it's some historical figure or other. Hanna's depth of knowledge on that particular subject is another thing that keeps catching him by surprise.)
"I," Hanna says, pulling his attention back to the present, "have got awesome news. Ben called me to switch shifts so I have the DAY OFF, isn'tthatawesome? Look how nice it is outside already!" It's true, the sunrise had been particularly pretty, pinkish purple sky turning to a bright, clear blue. Hanna hops across the bed, clearing the length of the apartment within three steps to end up at his side, still beaming. "So we're going out. It's going to be great! I've got all kinds of plans."
He's very slightly dubious at the thought of what sort of plans Hanna might come up with, but enthusiasm like that really isn't something that can- or should- be discouraged. He likes seeing Hanna happy. And how much trouble could Hanna possibly get himself into in daylight, anyway? "Alright," he says, apparently all the permission Hanna needs to open the door and drag him back out into the world.
+++
Hanna's plans start with a street vendor pretzel ("What? This totally counts as breakfast! It's the first thing I'm eating today, right? So that means it's breakfast."), followed by a walk down to the park. They sit on the grass to watch kids playing soccer while Hanna finishes eating, talking at length about the relative merits of dinosaurs versus dragons between mouthfuls. He listens, amused, occasionally interjecting a point in favor of one side ("There's no proof Utahraptors couldn't breathe fire") or the other ("Pteranodons didn't have fangs, though"), which is more than enough to keep Hanna going on progressively improbable tangents.
They get some odd looks from some of the parents sitting nearby, but he's used to getting looks, and Hanna doesn't seem to notice. So long as it keeps making Hanna grin, he's perfectly content to keep his end of their strange conversations going. The occasional surprised, pleased looks Hanna shoots him are just a particularly nice bonus.
Once the pretzel's gone, and the battle decided semi-definitively for Team Dragon, Hanna stands, dusts grass off his jeans, and puts out a hand to help him up. And then uses that hand to drag him along. "So, I'm not aaallll that sure how you'll like this next part? But I think it'll be good!"
He tries very hard not to find that ominous.
+++
The next part, it turns out, is ice skating. There's a small rink in the park, not very crowded despite the nice weather. He eyes the ice dubiously. Hanna, oblivious, rents two pairs of skates and plops down on a bench to start lacing his on.
"I think..." he says, and Hanna glances up, "I might just watch. I'm not certain I know how, anyway." And the ice would be very damp and hard and unpleasant, if he were to fall. Not good.
Hanna's frowning at him, paused in the middle of tying a lopsided bow. "Aw. Are you sure? Maybe you'd remember once you're out there."
Maybe. That's true. But still... "No, I'm sure. It's alright, I'd rather watch you, anyway. Just try not to.." He gives this a moment's consideration, ignoring the growing smirk on Hanna's face that's threatening to become a full-blown grin. "Be careful," he settles on, passing up the more accurate 'try not to crash into anyone' or less polite 'don't fall on your ass and break anything, please.'
"Try not to be careful? Hm! That's a new one, I'll see what I can do!" Hanna's giggling as he stands and clomps away. He sighs, amused despite himself, and goes to lean on the railing surrounding the rink. At least he'll be nearby to help, if Hanna ends up bleeding.
But somehow, amazingly, Hanna is much more coordinated when balanced on what amount to skinny knives strapped onto boots. He zips around the rink, circling it twice before coming over to the rail, already looking flushed and happy. "Are you sure you don't want to try? I'll help you learn, if you don't remember how."
He can't help but smile at that, which of course makes Hanna very nearly bounce in place- he can practically hear the imaginary tick mark being added to Hanna's mental list. He's a little surprised himself that he doesn't smile more, considering how much time he spends with Hanna. Hanna is the sort of person who prompts smiles. "Maybe in a little while. I don't want to slow you down." He waves out at the nearly empty ice, the perfect playing field for someone to go tearing around in reckless circles at top speed.
Hanna glances over his shoulder, nodding to himself in apparent satisfaction at a day well-planned. When he turns back, though, he's looking worried. "Oh.. But I don't mind! We can keep it slow, that's cool too. It'll be more fun with you anyway."
And he really does seem like he means that. Oh, Hanna. How the boy hadn't already had an eager and devoted fan club following him around before he came along is really beyond him. "I'll join you in a bit. I promise," he adds, when Hanna still looks mulish and inclined to argue. "But have some fun without me first. Even if I remember how, I doubt I'll be able to manage going very fast. And I really do like watching, anyway." It's always interesting to see Hanna do things he's good at, and this seems to be one of them.
"Well.." Hanna tips his head, looking up at him over the tops of his glasses. There's a tiny, amused sort of smile quirking the corner of his lips; he's not sure what that's about. "Okay, I guess. If you're sure. But I'll be back in a little bit! So put your skates on, okay? Oh!" He brightens up, skates a little closer to grab the top of the railing and hoist himself up. "C'mere! I almost forgot."
After a moment of rummaging, Hanna produces his (battered, well-loved) camera from one of the pockets of his coat, holding it up with a flourish. One of the cabinet doors in their tiny kitchen stands as a testament to Hanna's occasional flair for photography, a dozen snapshots (Hanna with himself, Toni, Veser, a particularly irritable Worth, an apparently empty bar stool that had actually been holding Conrad at the time) covering the dirty formica. They make him smile a little every time he sees them, though since it's usually while he's making breakfast he doubts if those have ended up on Hanna's tally.
But he's smiling now, and he knows that one's being added to the list. With Hanna perched on the rail, they're nearly the same height, so it's easy enough to lean in and let Hanna click away. The flash is still blurring his eyes (four pictures in a row- Hanna seems to like taking extras) when Hanna hops down off the rail and pushes the camera into his hands. "You can take pictures too, if you want! Maybe something funny will happen- maybe I'll fall on my butt, haha!" And he's off again.
Hanna doesn't fall, or even come close. A boy of maybe seven does fall, though, trying to keep up with him, and Hanna skates back to help him up, smiling and talking with him, skating backwards to help him get going again. Hanna looks over, gives him a wave and a grin; he waves back, and once Hanna's turned away again the camera goes click, click, click.
+++
He can't just watch all day, he knows. After all, he promised. So he takes a moment to put on his skates, then sit there a moment longer, just looking at them. He's meant to stand on those? This is not seeming like a good idea.
"Amairgin? Oh!" Hanna's back at the rail, badly suppressing a laugh. "You don't look so thrilled. C'mon, if I can do it then you definitely can, right?" This does not exactly have sound logic behind it. But he did promise, and how hard could it be? So he stands, hesitantly, and makes his way over to the door onto the rink, where Hanna's already waiting.
Some part of him had been hoping that he would suddenly remember how to do this as soon as he steps onto the ice, that it would come to him as naturally as it does for Hanna, but it seems that's not to be. He wobbles a little, puts his arms out to balance himself, slides forward a foot or two without meaning to. This.. could be bad.
"Naw, hey, don't make that face. We'll go slow, okay?" Hanna swerves around to get in front of him, grabbing onto his hands to pull him along. He gets the hang of it after a little bit; he doubt he'll be speeding around any time soon, but he's at least in less danger of falling on his face. Hanna could probably let go, but hasn't, and he doesn't see the need to say anything about it.
They're getting looks again- the 'what are they doing' sort, the 'what's with that guy' sort, and another he's not sure he can read so easily. Hanna ends up being the one to interpret for him, albeit inadvertently. "Hey- those girls are checking you out!" He sounds amused, but something in his expression looks wistful. The girls in question are on the other side of the rail, watching and giggling and giving him- or them- plenty of glances.
It's quite possible they're actually looking at Hanna, not him; the two of them are pretty close together, even now that he's nearly skating on his own. And if they're looking at Hanna, he should really encourage him to go chat with them- as far as he's concerned, Hanna deserves any kind of happiness the universe wants to throw at him. But still... "I'm not sure it's me they're interested in," he says, pulling his hands from Hanna's. "But you should go talk to them, if you'd like."
Hanna blinks up at him, surprised, and looks back over at the girls. "Are you sure? They're pretty cute. And they probably wouldn't mind that you're, y'know, dead. Some people don't." He rather doubts that, which apparently shows in his expression. "Some people don't! I don't." Which is true.
"You're a special case, I think. But either way, I'm not interested. It's alright."
Hanna's got that secretive, pleased smile again. "Yeah?" he says, "okay, then." And he reaches out, tangling their fingers together to pull him along again. His surprised look apparently isn't very subtle; Hanna grins at him. "I'm not interested, either! They can look all they want."
+++
They circle the rink a few times without any mishaps, and finally Hanna lets go of his hand, gesturing for him to skate a little on his own. He manages an only slightly wobbly loop around Hanna, coming to a stop (or trying to, anyway- he still slides a little) in front of him. He holds out his arms in a 'ta-da' gesture, and Hanna claps, skating a little closer.
"Awesome job! Best student ever. We'll get you speed skates next time, then you can really kick some ass." Hanna can't quite manage to keep a straight face for that, though, and dissolves into snickers after a moment. "Okay okay sorry, it's not you! You're doing great, seriously, fastest learner I've ever seen. I'm just picturing you playing hockey." Which, fair enough, is indeed very funny. Though maybe not funny enough to warrant Hanna's current level of amusement. "We'd need so much thread to fix you, hahaha!"
"You're laughing over me falling to pieces?" He gives Hanna a prod to the ribs that makes him squeak and jump and then laugh harder. "That isn't very nice at all, you know. Maybe I'll go talk to those girls after all." He means to half-turn away, but it results instead in him slipping backwards, nearly having to flail to keep his balance.
Fortunately, Hanna's got quick reflexes. "Oh- wait!" Hanna's still laughing, even as he grabs his coat to pull him upright and reel him in. "Man, I even got you to tease me, this day is awesome. It's been awesome, right?" This last is said with some degree of seriousness; it makes him pause, considering his answer carefully.
"Yes," he decides at last, "I think that would be an accurate description."
Hanna beams, disentangling a hand from his coat to reach up, settling it on his shoulder instead. "Good," he says, and pulls him down, and kisses him.
It's too brief for him to even react, much less decide how to react. He settles for blinking at Hanna, since whatever he's feeling over this (and he's not sure, yet, exactly what that might be), surprise is definitely a large part of it.
"Oh, um." Hanna grins up at him, a little sheepish, a lot hopeful. "This is a date. Did I forget to mention it? Or.. ask?"
"You did, yes." Hanna's grin falters. His heart doesn't beat anymore, but that expression on Hanna's face still makes something in his chest twinge unhappily. This wasn't anything he had seen coming, but there isn't much he ever sees coming when Hanna's involved- and the spontaneity is part of the fun (even if it's also part of the stress). It seems silly to balk at this, now, when he's gone along for the ride so many other times, and with nowhere near as pleasant a possible outcome.
He hooks a finger through one of Hanna's belt loops to pull him closer. "But the answer's yes. If you're asking now." Hanna looks up again, eyes wide and startled. "I'd love to go out with you. I'm glad you asked."
For a moment Hanna just looks at him, assessing- trying to read something in his expression, apparently, though he can't imagine what. He's sincere, and presumably it shows, so he lets Hanna look. His eventual reward is a slow, thrilled grin, growing huge and bright just like that morning's sunrise. "Yeah? That's cool, cos I've got some great stuff planned for us. I think you'll like it."
"I think so, too," he says, smiling for what seems like the hundredth time today as he leans down to kiss Hanna again.
Related content
Comments: 99
x-Atomic-x [2010-06-17 18:58:48 +0000 UTC]
You inspired the return of my artistic motivation: [link]
Ffffff yeah. I love your work x 100.
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SpookMouse In reply to x-Atomic-x [2010-06-28 00:40:25 +0000 UTC]
AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW HAHAHA that's so cute!!! aawww! yay! I'm glad I could help INSPIRE
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
x-Atomic-x In reply to SpookMouse [2010-06-28 00:43:09 +0000 UTC]
YOU DO SO MUCH GOOD IN THIS WORLD
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UncleKasu [2010-05-25 07:55:51 +0000 UTC]
I love your Hanna. He's so whimsical and funny and gleeful.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
SpookMouse In reply to UncleKasu [2010-06-28 00:08:46 +0000 UTC]
he's so ridiculously fun for me to write, aawwww spaz!Hanna I just love him to bits! thank you :>
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Control-Alt-Defeat [2010-05-11 20:24:14 +0000 UTC]
GYAHA ~ that one little line of Hanna being all, "Oh, this is a date, didn't I forget to mention that ?" just totally made me laugh so hard with glee. Then again, I feel that same emotion reading all of your fiction, so. There's that too. But, honestly, really, in all certainty, this is probably one of the cutest fics I've ever read. I realize that you're still writing since this is quite a bit back in your gallery, but I love it, and I really, reaaally hope you keep writing ~
Thanks for writing, again !
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SpookMouse In reply to Control-Alt-Defeat [2010-06-09 03:11:49 +0000 UTC]
oh Hanna, such a spaz I'm glad you liked this! thank you!
I'm still writing, yes, but it's a much slower process these days and I tend to get frustrated more easily D: hopefully I'll get my groove back soon!
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anthrop [2010-04-27 08:07:57 +0000 UTC]
HOW CONVENIENT THAT I FIND YOU HERE IN MY FIRST FORAYS INTO THE HINABN'S FANDOM.
Man, any other ficcer and I'd probably be blanching at the necro going on up there (A-at least I think it is? Not too sure about Hanna, actually.), but with you writing it? I actually went "d'aaw."
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SpookMouse In reply to anthrop [2010-04-27 20:19:21 +0000 UTC]
OH GOSH YEAH UH this is my new like THING so not only do I have a slew of fic here but also a couple more on y!gal and even more in the works o.o I LOVE THIS FANDOM, I LOVE IT REAL BAD.
thanks so much! Zombie/Hanna is so freaking cute to me, even though yeah there does have to be some handwaving re: the whole DEAD GUY thing. haha wweeeellllll whatever! he, y'know, walks and talks and doesn't break apart all the time and apparently just smells sort of dusty and does not hunger for brains so he is BASICALLY not even really a dead guy or a zombie anyway
yes this is slash logic at work
aaaaanyway. glad you've been liking my stuff :> have fun exploring Hanna fandom! it's a pretty awesome group, I must say.
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SpookMouse In reply to Milena-Radio [2010-04-16 08:28:44 +0000 UTC]
HAHAHAHA OH GOSH THAT FACE
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Lixa123 [2010-03-01 00:18:38 +0000 UTC]
pfff Hanna you're so scatterbrained. or clever; idk which yet.
this = ??? i'm not sure whether this makes me laugh or squeal with joy or what yet, but i know it's good. :D
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
SpookMouse In reply to Lixa123 [2010-03-01 19:02:18 +0000 UTC]
he is not really so clever, he is mostly retarded. OH HANNA. :<
WELL I'm glad that whatever reaction it provoked was a good one thank you!
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Lixa123 In reply to SpookMouse [2010-03-01 20:39:10 +0000 UTC]
OH HANNA
you're welcome, but also thank YOU for making such awesome stuff~ :D
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Cacodaemonia [2010-02-19 02:10:55 +0000 UTC]
OMG my teeth just rotted out of my head. All of them. Just like that.
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SpookMouse In reply to Cacodaemonia [2010-02-19 02:12:31 +0000 UTC]
OOOHHH NNNOOO WHAT HAVE I DONE
teehee <3
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Eloarei [2010-02-18 05:51:55 +0000 UTC]
I really
just don't even know what to say IT'S SO CUTE!!! ARGH!! <--I mean that in a gooood way! And I loved how you summarized what happened afterward in your comments. (Seriously. That's important. I ALWAYS want to know what happens afterward.) And I adore your style of writing. AND your characterization and the silly things Hanna does make me smile so hard! (Like helping the kid up on the skate-rink. I dunno, that's just sweet. ^^) SUPER AND that punch-line "Oh, didn't I tell you this was a date?" comment was just absoultely perfect!
Hnn! I'm all smiles now!
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SpookMouse In reply to Eloarei [2010-02-18 17:10:58 +0000 UTC]
Oh man I always think too much about this stuff, I'm glad someone else appreciates knowing what happens! of course a lot of the time the immediate aftermath of the stories I've written lately is "andthentheyhadsex" but sometimes it is NOT.
I think characterization is probably the thing I'm always most uncertain of, so that's especially great to hear! aahh you're so sweet, I'm really really glad you liked this, and all my scribblings XD <3!
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LionessBlackfire [2010-02-17 06:22:33 +0000 UTC]
ohwowYES
This just might be my favorite thing ever right now.
Also, this is like the craziest coincidence ever. I stumbled upon this fic about two hours after watching men's figure skating on the Olympics and sitting there pondering over if Hanna has ever ice skated, 'cause that guy moves juuust like I picture Hanna moving.
whatimnotobsessedatallKTHXBAI
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
SpookMouse In reply to LionessBlackfire [2010-02-17 06:34:56 +0000 UTC]
Jeremy Abbott? Johnny Weir? who who! I doubt Hanna's as smooth as any of them anyway but I still wanna know who you're thinking of XD (if you don't know names you can just tell me a country or what they were wearing or whatever and I will almost certainly know who you mean)
and thank you! Hanna's gotta be good at SOMETHING right so we will pretend that something is skating. totally.
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LionessBlackfire In reply to SpookMouse [2010-02-17 07:06:40 +0000 UTC]
Hmm, who was it? Not Weir, I know that much. (Only 'cause I saw him for about two seconds and immediately thought he was the gayest man I'd ever seen. )
Hmm... *scanning wiki page, please hold* None of the guys from the US, definitely. Heck, none of the names stand out. I wanna say it's someone who fell on his ass but still had a little spunk left in him after.
Lol, sorry I can't do better. I'd never seen or heard of any of these guys before tonight (except Plushenko, but it was definitely not him).
Totally.
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SpookMouse In reply to LionessBlackfire [2010-02-18 01:30:54 +0000 UTC]
a couple of 'em wiped out, poor things D: now I'll have to keep an eye out tomorrow to see if anyone stands out to me as being Hanna-y! added fun
also gasp gasp if you're at all interested in figure skating you should definitely try checking YouTube for Evan Lysacek, who is mad talented, and Johnny Weir, who is yes flamingly gay but also FABULOUS. He designs his own clothes, writes his own music, basically is all-around amazing. I mean WELL not to go all fangirly or anything but really! he's quite great, super talented and fun to watch.
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LionessBlackfire In reply to SpookMouse [2010-02-18 03:42:10 +0000 UTC]
Heehee! I'm intending to watch too, so I'll try to see if any of them seem to be the one!
I'm pretty interested in it, I guess. Before last night the last time I watched I was eight and the Olympics were in Lillehammer. Ha, I don't know why I never thought of youtube! I'll check it out sometime.
Weir does all that? Damn, that rocks.
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SpookMouse In reply to LionessBlackfire [2010-02-18 16:50:42 +0000 UTC]
the current short program stuff is probably all on the Olympics website, too. I am a sucker for figure skating, especially when it involves good-lookin' dudes. XD
and yeah! he doesn't always do all of it at once but I think he's pretty damn awesome. Johnny Weeeiiiirrrr <3 <3
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LionessBlackfire In reply to SpookMouse [2010-02-19 05:37:14 +0000 UTC]
Good looking indeed!
Okay, so, I watched the stuff tonight really hard and the only one that I thought it miiiiight have been was Florent Amodio. But I don't think they showed all the same people tonight, so I'm not like 100% certain. He was the only one that stood out in that respect, though.
Oh my god Johnny Weir blew me away completely. I may be just a liiiittle bit in love, heh. And OH GOD LYSACEK. Also, is it just me, or is Takahiko Kozuka the cutest thing to ever be on skates? ...Other than Hanna, of course!
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SpookMouse In reply to LionessBlackfire [2010-02-19 21:25:42 +0000 UTC]
yeah, there were several people they didn't show But Florent is adorable omg, I don't know if he's who you were thinking of but I'll go with that!
Johnny Weir is SO GREAT and I have no idea what is up with the judges and their scores for him but > I loved Takahashi so much though, it's great he got third but aaagh if he hadn't tried for that quad! so disappointing. but, still, great to watch. I love me some skating srsly XD
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tehawsumbritt [2010-02-11 08:01:49 +0000 UTC]
EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Translation:I LOVE YOU FOREVER KEEP DOING THESE
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SpookMouse In reply to tehawsumbritt [2010-02-12 08:47:31 +0000 UTC]
hahaha awwww thanks <3 they're so cute, aren't they? XD it's hard to resist, I probably will end up posting more.
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tehawsumbritt In reply to SpookMouse [2010-02-12 21:14:48 +0000 UTC]
xD Woo!
Mind if i watch you then?
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SpookMouse In reply to tehawsumbritt [2010-02-12 21:53:48 +0000 UTC]
oh, not at all! aw hopefully I'll have more to share soon!
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tehawsumbritt In reply to SpookMouse [2010-02-12 22:02:59 +0000 UTC]
Oh! im uploading a zombie fanart soon! drop by and see! :3 He looks like a woman though D':
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vert-is-ninja [2010-02-10 02:12:57 +0000 UTC]
I smiled stupidly throughout most of reading this, but actually pretty much of all your fics have made me do that so far. Thank you.
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SpookMouse In reply to vert-is-ninja [2010-02-10 05:04:13 +0000 UTC]
aawwww I'm really happy they make you smile and not, like, cringe XD thank you so much! <3
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Arada [2010-02-07 22:25:26 +0000 UTC]
DArling this was utterly fantastic c: I think Hanna was a little tooooo giggly, but thats just me. ID IT STILL FED ME LOVE FOR THIS PAIRING. C:
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SpookMouse In reply to Arada [2010-02-08 17:29:45 +0000 UTC]
hahaha I thiiink what it was is that every time he was giggling, it was because I was giggling in my head at something that could aaallmost be innuendo. I'M TWELVE SOMETIMES. so yeah that's.. what that's all about XD SORRY
anyway. Glad you liked despite my gigglefits
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CatSilver [2010-02-07 21:35:55 +0000 UTC]
"Oh, um." Hanna grins up at him, a little sheepish, a lot hopeful. "This is a date. Did I forget to mention it? Or.. ask?"
"You did, yes."
[/dies from that]
The build up was FANTASTIC and I loved it. In character as far as I can see, well written, drew me in (and damnit I hate reading stuff unless I go hunting for it) and the ending "twist" was glorious. I was like, THIS I JUST CUTE IF IT'S A NORMA- Buh wut kiss YESSSS! SCORE! And it's Hanna all over because Hanna doesn't think what the hell crazy person thinks Hanna thinks this shit out. He just does what his gut says even if it almost gets him KILLED. >[
I love the way you write damn it. Just the style fits in with a lot of the people I like to read, novel wise, and so it's like reading another Terry Pratchett/Mercedes Lackey/Douglas Adams novel except it's got more Hanna/Charlemagne. You should be doing original story NaNoWriMo for every month of the year and publishing it. *Puffs out cheekies.*
Wait. I didn't even notice it was in present tense. Also I love all the tiny hints leading up. The little grab, the skating too close, the fingers lacing, the worry about breakfast, watching Hanna so intently because he LIKES seeing Hanna do something hes good at, and the dino v. dragon arguments. AND THE TICS. OH GOD. I love those. It's like AWWW, SMILE. c:
My only complaint is I think Amadeus is a little too concerned over how falling would feel on ice. It jarred me a bit I was like "Wait isn't he a zombie?" Personally I'd think he'd be worried about tearing something more than the cold, but eh. That's me.
"There's no proof Utahraptors couldn't breathe fire"
This. Forever.
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SpookMouse In reply to CatSilver [2010-02-08 17:26:18 +0000 UTC]
Hanna goes running into things constantly! I'm thinking he got so excited planning out their AWESOME DATE that he skipped right over "step one: ask!" he probably drew little hearts around that step, too. oh, Hanna.
WOW that's... a really huge compliment, two of my all-time top favourite authors right there wow. thank you very much! I fail at writing original stuff, sadly. or long things. fic is pretty much all I can ever manage. but I have fun with it!
He's worried aboouuut tearing something, breaking something, and getting damp. and the cold, too! I suspect he doesn't like extreme temperatures. but yeah it's a little of all of that. hm, maybe I'll edit to make that clearer?
HAHAHA Utahraptors=shoutout to Dinosaur Comics. all the waaayyyy. (Pteranodons=shoutout to Torchwood. NERD.)
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em0SkittlEz [2010-02-07 00:27:57 +0000 UTC]
Awwww!!! I love this pairing so much! They're just so darn adorable!!!
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SpookMouse In reply to em0SkittlEz [2010-02-07 01:57:48 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I love them too XD they are JUST SO CUTE.
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em0SkittlEz In reply to SpookMouse [2010-02-07 02:49:25 +0000 UTC]
Yesss! They areee! I love the way you protreyed Hanna! DD
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EaselWeasel [2010-02-06 20:07:06 +0000 UTC]
D'AWW!
D'AWWWWWWWWWWW!
Did I mention D'AWWWWWWWWWWW?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
SpookMouse In reply to EaselWeasel [2010-02-06 20:41:17 +0000 UTC]
TEEHEE. why thank you! XD
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Mistress-Despair [2010-02-06 18:07:35 +0000 UTC]
I'm sorry, (and I don't mean to be rude) but NO. The story line was actually really nice up until Hanna kissed Zombie. I mean, there was absolutely no warning or build-up, it just HAPPENED. Like, WHAT? Also, you have some sort of weird third person narrative going on that is just extremely awkward. Go for the first person, it makes MUCH more sense that way. Another thing, the fact that your story is in the present tense. Stories should NEVER be in the present tense. It's just weird.
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SpookMouse In reply to Mistress-Despair [2010-02-06 19:01:49 +0000 UTC]
it's cool, I don't find it rude. though you might want to watch stating opinions ("stories should never been in the present tense") as fact; some people like present tense! I don't care for it in longer works, but for short stuff (especially fic), sometimes it's how I prefer to write. but I know not everyone likes that. likewise, not everyone likes first person (personally, I can't stand it- I very rarely continue to read something once I see it's in first person, and that includes published novels) so I'm afraid it's not how I'm likely to write. though I'm sure it'd make dealing with Nameless Dead Dude waaaayyy easier.
As for the kissing, well, there's build up- but it's subtle, so you're not entirely meant to see it coming. It's from Zombie's perspective, after all, and HE didn't see it coming, so it's hard to make it more obvious to the reader than it is to him. and personally, I'm a fan of slash, so odds are good that if I'm reading/writing something, dudes will be kissing at some point! maybe something to keep in mind if you see I've posted fic again; I know slash isn't everyone's bag.
anyway, thank you for taking the time to comment! I always like to hear what people think.
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Chibi-Pandachan [2010-02-06 17:41:42 +0000 UTC]
[MiMi] I AM GETTING DIABETES FROM THIS SUGARY DELICIOUSNESS.
alloveragaaaaaain and I love it :'D. I love it SO SO SO MUCH. <3
I can see the last 'scene' in my head -perfectly-. "His heart doesn't beat anymore, but that expression on Hanna's face still makes something in his chest twinge unhappily. This wasn't anything he had seen coming, but there isn't much he ever sees coming when Hanna's involved- and the spontaneity is part of the fun (even if it's also part of the stress)."
YESYESYES
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SpookMouse In reply to Chibi-Pandachan [2010-02-06 18:55:00 +0000 UTC]
OMG THE DIABEETUS NNOOOOO WHAT HAVE I DONE
I'm glad you liked it bb <3 <3 this junk is all for you guys, true facts! y'all are my BROS. in fact I'mma friend you now YES INDEED
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