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Sprog — Alike. No.81
Published: 2004-03-09 17:35:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 92; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 11
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Description Alike.

I’m amazed to see
That people are just like me.
At first how they seem is normal,
Always being so formal.

But now I see their deeper selves,
And it seems we all hurt ourselves.
Endlessly unfurl ourselves…
And for what?

I never thought I’d meet people like me,
I always thought I was alone.
Always alone, at home.
Hopefully now I wont be so… me.

Maybe I’m but one drop in the ocean,
Just one more potion,
To add to the shelved collection.
Another, that needs affection.
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Comments: 8

LadySydonis [2004-04-26 18:46:25 +0000 UTC]

we all need affection bro!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

sinan [2004-03-13 14:53:58 +0000 UTC]

Nice words Interesting rhyme pattern too, also good work on tha second stanza

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nolight [2004-03-09 18:51:24 +0000 UTC]

wow i like this, my friend told me the other day no one is unique and everythings bin done before..and this helped me realize hes right.

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leliathomas [2004-03-09 18:13:52 +0000 UTC]

The rhyming and rhythm, at least to me, seemed really forced in places. I thought the second stanza seemed to be most forced, but your previous reviewer seemed to like it best. I think if the verse length were longer, the rhyme wouldn't seem so stiff. Just a suggestion, and obviously, only my opinion.

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Sprog In reply to leliathomas [2004-03-09 19:21:55 +0000 UTC]

it is, rofl, im trying to make stuff rhyme, lol. Good observation

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leliathomas In reply to Sprog [2004-03-10 02:38:56 +0000 UTC]

Well, I hold to making longer verse lines. It will help take the hardness off your rhyme. Keep on writing!

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Sprog In reply to leliathomas [2004-03-10 07:27:29 +0000 UTC]

i will, always. writing owns

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champignon [2004-03-09 17:45:51 +0000 UTC]

ooh its you again! Another gem here.
'But now I see their deeper selves,
And it seems we all hurt ourselves.
Endlessly unfurl ourselves…
And for what?'<----------- this is really nicely written- rolls off the tongue.
Yes, I definately like your style : )

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