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Spuffy12 — Even if It Means
Published: 2010-12-23 02:30:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 1066; Favourites: 43; Downloads: 7
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Description The pain I suffer,
                         {Makes me feel alive}
And the sadness I endure,
                                      {Takes my breath away}

The i n t e n s i t y of the wound,
The d  e  p  t  h of the damage,        
Go far beyond what the eye can see.

Oh, the s w e e t n e s s of your words,
Wrapped up in sad, softly-sung l u l l a b i e s,
Make me wonder your true intentions.

Yet my dear,
I could care less what you want of me,
Because you're the thing I need,
And I promise to  leave,
        wont   ever
{Even if it means the death of me}
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Comments: 19

TajVo [2011-01-04 18:16:27 +0000 UTC]

To say I like the ending the best, doesn't mean I like the fact it ended. :]

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Spuffy12 In reply to TajVo [2011-01-05 01:32:23 +0000 UTC]

Hahaha,

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denytheopposed [2010-12-29 03:05:34 +0000 UTC]

Seriously, quit reading from the depths of my soul!!!
Just kidding
Another truly incredible piece, I love the way you include subnotes and make them part of the poem.

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Spuffy12 In reply to denytheopposed [2011-01-03 03:49:12 +0000 UTC]

Hahaha! :3
Thank you so much :3

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beccamd [2010-12-23 20:52:49 +0000 UTC]

amazzzing<3

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Spuffy12 In reply to beccamd [2010-12-24 06:54:32 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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swmmp [2010-12-23 15:02:59 +0000 UTC]

The length is fine, and the formatting compliments the individual thoughts that are being expressed. Good job.

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Spuffy12 In reply to swmmp [2010-12-24 06:54:26 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much!

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Golden-Leaves [2010-12-23 06:37:54 +0000 UTC]

Well, isn't that coincidental? I was just worrying about whether or not I'd missed your poem for me out of the myriad of submissions I have to sort through....when I saw this one and thought, "Hm, this is beautiful!" Thank you so much.....!!!

The contrast in this work is just breathtaking. Who would think pain and sadness would make someone feel that way......and yet you make those words come alive. The last line sums in all up in a simple, lovely finish. I think the formatting is just fine. It might be exaggerated if it were used in other works, but the intensity of this piece fitted with it perfectly. It's great.

Well done!

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Spuffy12 In reply to Golden-Leaves [2010-12-24 06:54:14 +0000 UTC]

Hahahaha, well it's taken me a lot longer to get here then I would have hopped, but I didn't want to rush the themes, and of course I didn't want to rush something I was going to create for someone else, haha, I wanted to make sure I did it right :3

Haha, thank you for requesting it, your work is very inspiring!


And thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it so much :3

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Golden-Leaves In reply to Spuffy12 [2010-12-24 07:01:49 +0000 UTC]

Oh, I did

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Spuffy12 In reply to Golden-Leaves [2010-12-24 07:37:38 +0000 UTC]

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mariswood [2010-12-23 05:09:23 +0000 UTC]

I don't think it's too short, it's just condensed. If it was longer, It would've been too much. I think it's exactly as it's supposed to be.

Keep it up!

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Spuffy12 In reply to mariswood [2010-12-24 06:50:55 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much!

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Alluring-Sin [2010-12-23 04:00:16 +0000 UTC]

I think the lenght is perfect, short but powerful, it depicts everything you want to n.n

The formatting is beautiful, makes the poem even more perfect n.n

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Spuffy12 In reply to Alluring-Sin [2010-12-23 04:16:17 +0000 UTC]

Thanks love, the feedback helps :3

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AgentBabycakes [2010-12-23 03:39:14 +0000 UTC]

The formatting really brings attention to the key words.

It's a good length. Short and sweet.

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Spuffy12 In reply to AgentBabycakes [2010-12-23 04:15:54 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much for the feedback :3

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AgentBabycakes In reply to Spuffy12 [2010-12-23 05:04:20 +0000 UTC]

Welcome.

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