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StarlightComet β synecdoche
Published: 2014-10-21 00:09:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 1200; Favourites: 40; Downloads: 0
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Description
my mother's gotten fat off of my promises,empty calories that just go straight to her
hips.
i made a meal out of truth once, set it down
for both of us to eat. she cleaned
her plate, asked for dessert-
threw it up later that night, said she forgot
how thin these walls are,
took the liberty of damning me to hell before
slamming the door.
god says to stop feeding her bullshit
from a silver spoon, tells me
you're so full of shit, your eyes are brown
every time i try to explain.
he tells me to leave so i go home
and pick my prayers from the pile under
the shredder-
get some elmer's clue and hope to hell
it works.
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Comments: 50
This honestly has me thinking if all parents are like this in some way. I can't be the odd one out here...
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ok but i fucking love everything about this
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A lot of people seem to and I'm just over here like it's not that great
But thanks
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is the synecdoche 'god'? ... if not i don't see how the title relates to the piece
also, the second stanza seems a little ungainly when read out-loud with all the punctuation splicing going on. Β
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Honestly, I don't like titling my poems so I pick something and if it feels like it fits then I keep it, even if it doesn't completely relate to the poem. Also, I don't really go back to revise my poems that often. I usually just leave it how I first wrote it when it came to my mind, unless something sticks out that needs to be changed.
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totally understand the first part, i do the same.
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Nicely written. I like how brutally honest it is and how it shows the tense relationship that some families have.
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This is wonderful. I myself have had issues with my mother, and this hit a cord. Well done!
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Oh, thank you so much
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You're very welcome!
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Packs a WALLOP! Yow! Was the "Elmer's Clue" deliberate?
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Yes it was actually! It's the only glue I ever used when I was younger, whenever I did arts and crafts and such, so I used it to show that the person speaking still sometimes wishes he/she could go back to being young and innocent. You're the first person to comment on that, so I'm glad you caught on!
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AHA! A clue about the glue! "Elmer's Clue"! 
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Arts and crafts are amazing at any age
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Congrats on your DLR! I love this piece. ^_^
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Thank you so very much
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Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLR (Daily Literature Recognitions) in a news article that can be found here . Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by 
Keep writing and keep creating.
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Thank you so much
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Of course! You're welcome.
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I. Love. This. This is absolutely beautiful and real and just gritty-glory. 
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I'm so thankful for all the kind words you give me
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They are much deserved, my friend.
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This is an outstanding piece. Let us all just bow down to your greatness.Β
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Aw, thank you. But there are much better things to now down to
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I came to make sure this wasn't metonymy.... Lol
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Lol you could argue that it is. It's basically just about perspectiveΒ
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The fine lines between syendoche and metonymy are ar play right now lol.
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Very pretty. Great imagery. Hopefully both your prayers will be answered someday.
***
But this time is different. There's a death in the eyes. A coldness and a blackness.
A darkness in determination, but with wild intent.
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Thank you 
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My gosh.Β This is utterly fantastic.Β It's like....the poem has manifested into a pop-up book of sheer awesome. ^^
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Thank you so much!
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