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StromStrider — Internal Dialog
Published: 2005-10-12 02:06:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 201; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 4
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Description
It was a cop out,not how I really feel,
but how I want him to think I feel.
I forgot all about his “special” day,
only feel half guilty,
it’s not like he hasn’t forgotten mine.
We’re not that close,
only by blood,
and that fake act I put on.
Hasn’t he figured it out,
caught on yet?
She tells me that someday,
years down the road,
we’ll have a better relationship.
Just like him and his father.
But even her words I put threw the strainer.
I’m not sure if even then I’d want that…
To late now.
Keeps me at arms reach like so many others,
like a disease,
Far enough away to keep from becoming close,
perfect distance to look at him and see what he really is.
close enough so he only has to flex his arm
and his fingers are wrapped around my neck,
slowly chocking the life out of me.
I detest him so,
Then why do I fight so hard for his
approval?
why does it matter?
When every fiber in my body hates him,
Is it because he is a part of me?
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
I don’t want to hear it!
That’s it isn’t it?
You hate him because he represents the flaws you see…
In yourself.
No! No! No!
Because you know you’ll turn out just like him…
You keep it locked away so deep,
but that’s your greatest fear, isn’t it?
It leaks out slowly,
and you can see it.
and you hate it,
hate knowing that he is you…
No! It’s not true! I am me! Not him! Nothing like him!
It’s why you keep people away,
you know that his temper has infected you,
it’s part of you…
Stop talking! Stop it!
And it mixed with your own anger and hate,
you could hurt someone,
you’ve seen it before,
you’ve done it before…
And you hate yourself for it…
That’s when you realized…
No! defining thunder… Pounding fists…
When you realized…
Don’t say it! Don’t!
When you realized that you were him,
becoming him was inevitable…
All your fighting worthless…
You’re worthless.
Yes, that’s right, surrender to your tears,
drop to your knees wailing,
recognize your master!
No! I’m not him!
He’s only part of me,
just as she’s only part.
I’m something new,
I wont let what little of him that
lives inside of me, spread,
control me…
I’ll fight it for all of eternity…
If that’s what it takes…
Get out! Get out! Get out of my head!
But I’m part of you…
I don’t care if you are part of me! Get out!
A brick flies,
glass cracks and falls to the floor,
mirror broken…
There… I’ve won…
lingering voice,
We’ll see… We’ll see….
Comments: 11
I could feel the tension ... like what Untouchablelife said the climax really was unbelievable, and I felt that I could relate to your piece .. I love the depth and how everything is just so .. strong.
Breathtaking work. This deserves a fav
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why thank you... take that and then put it to the 25 power and you'll have a glimps at what goes on in my head...
Thats sort of a never ending struggle that I have with myself... Although I think that's some what self explainitory...
Your somments are great! So awsome! Very helpful!
But thank you, any comments you have on this or any of my work is soooo helpful!
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hehe ! and your comments on MY work is sooooo helpful too 
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Well, I'm glad to hear that what I have to say is heard! That's always nice! I'm also glad to note that you love my work! Awwww... Thanks! Yes, we do support each other! Which is awsome!
You are really captivated by my work? wow... Thats awsome!
And thanks.. I may tke you up on that offer one day...
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'That’s when you realized…
No! defining thunder… Pounding fists…
When you realized…
Don’t say it! Don’t!'
The climax was unbeliavble, it defently made me held my breath, wondering when it would end or if it would, i like it alot, defently perfect the way it is, and you should not change it, all that needs a little change is that it a bit clumped toghther but in a way it gives it a quirky run on sentance that makes it work, i like it alot
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its clumped together because I didn't feel like doing all th HTML to make it not... unless your not talking about the spaceing and talking about the writeing... in which case its because its sopost to be like a conversation with myself in my head... so its a little jumbled...
Hey, thank you so much for your comments, they really help and make a lot of sence! Thanks!
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oh wow this is such a great submission. i really love this alot. another great piece from one of my fave DA friends
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awwwwwwww.... thanks.. .I was afraid that it was to going to be to wordy or confusing... but I guess it wasn't... thanks a lot! am I really?
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awwwwwwwwww... thanks you soo much!
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