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Description
Snallygasters.

Snallygasters are dog-sized, flying, racist octopus-dragons that travel in packs. No one really knows why they’re so incredibly racist. Some believe it’s because they went to public school. Some claim it’s because they’re from the south. Many say that Snallygasters are racist because they’re Republican and being overtly racist is the American Republican’s #1. Pastime, followed by #2. Drinking, and #3. Shooting Things (Generally found combined in that order as well). Others offer the explanation that Snallygasters aren’t racist, and they merely prefer the taste of darker skinned peoples — such a Filipinos — because of their delicious candy flavoring. (Snallygasters do on occasion eat white people but only rarely because white people are dry, and flavorless, like bald eagles.)
The most common explanation however is that Snallygasters were created by the United States government to patrol the border with Mexico, devouring anyone trying to cross with a skin tone darker than corkboard. Some reports even claim that the border patrol will soon have a unit of trained Snallygasters ready for deployment on the New Mexican border. The United States government denies these claims. The United States goverment also thinks that whoever is making up all of these rumors is really mean.
During their mating season male Snallygasters grow huge antlers. When competing for females they square off, hurling offensive racial insults at one another until one of them breaks down and starts crying like a pussy. If that doesn’t happen they play a game of ‘gay chicken’, getting closer and closer, until it seems like they’re going to kiss. End of sample chapter.

From my new book, The Irresponsibly Awesome Guide to Cryptozoology: an insane, sci-fi, fantasy, body slam through a brier patch of awesomeness, dipped in a coating of dark-chocolate hilarity.

Check it out the Facebook. Search: The IrresponsiblyAwesome Guide to Cryptozoology

Pick one up on sale.
[link]

Check out other samples:
Cyclopes
[link]
Goatman
[link]
Centaur
[link]
Manta Claws
[link]
Minotaur
[link]
Mongolian Death Worm
[link]
Mullets
[link]
Dragon
[link]

Description
Snallygasters.

Snallygasters are dog-sized, flying, racist octopus-dragons that travel in packs. No one really knows why they’re so incredibly racist. Some believe it’s because they went to public school. Some claim it’s because they’re from the south. Many say that Snallygasters are racist because they’re Republican and being overtly racist is the American Republican’s #1. Pastime, followed by #2. Drinking, and #3. Shooting Things (Generally found combined in that order as well). Others offer the explanation that Snallygasters aren’t racist, and they merely prefer the taste of darker skinned peoples — such a Filipinos — because of their delicious candy flavoring. (Snallygasters do on occasion eat white people but only rarely because white people are dry, and flavorless, like bald eagles.)
The most common explanation however is that Snallygasters were created by the United States government to patrol the border with Mexico, devouring anyone trying to cross with a skin tone darker than corkboard. Some reports even claim that the border patrol will soon have a unit of trained Snallygasters ready for deployment on the New Mexican border. The United States government denies these claims. The United States goverment also thinks that whoever is making up all of these rumors is really mean.
During their mating season male Snallygasters grow huge antlers. When competing for females they square off, hurling offensive racial insults at one another until one of them breaks down and starts crying like a pussy. If that doesn’t happen they play a game of ‘gay chicken’, getting closer and closer, until it seems like they’re going to kiss. End of sample chapter.

From my new book, The Irresponsibly Awesome Guide to Cryptozoology: an insane, sci-fi, fantasy, body slam through a brier patch of awesomeness, dipped in a coating of dark-chocolate hilarity.

Check it out the Facebook. Search: The IrresponsiblyAwesome Guide to Cryptozoology

Pick one up on sale.
[link]

Check out other samples:
Cyclopes
[link]
Goatman
[link]
Centaur
[link]
Manta Claws
[link]
Minotaur
[link]
Mongolian Death Worm
[link]
Mullets
[link]
Dragon
[link]