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StuartR β Illness
Published: 2006-03-24 11:18:53 +0000 UTC; Views: 101; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
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Description
Illness, a genetic plague, gearedTowards the animals, loosed
Down upon us, unknowing, speared
In His image, hating in His image
Dying in His image, dying anyway
Nothing, less than nothing, a speck
Tied to a pebble, floating in nothing
Wearing away, tearing at us, ripping
Over us, under us, but it isnβt us
Ripping us, maybe it is us, them
Killing Him, ripping them, ripping
Over me, distant and far above, crushed
Under them, crashing, burning my
Ticket, I donβt want to know, I do
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Comments: 14
Typographically it appears to be a sonnet.
It's open-verse, which means that you have great line-breaking (since it's not dictated by metre), and it's evident you've got a good sense of how to use technique even though free-verse writers often thinkyou ought to have none.
Hail!
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That's really good. Abbreviated images crammed together. I love the effect.
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love the end! "i dont want to know, i do" awesome. thanks for all the comments and advice too! i'll think about punctuation.........
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Well, the puncuation things just my opinion...
Thank you, glad you like it! 
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wow...this is truly an amazing piece stu!!!
you should be proud of this one!
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Thank you Christine 
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no problem...i'm glad you got it out. it was so beautifully written
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It's weird, i started out writing open poems, then i learned to rhyme 
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its good! i like your poems!
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