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Please smile,
It’s only fair,
The fans won't like it,
If you don't seem to care.
Now could you, add a bit of sparkle,
To those bleary little eyes,
And now look like,
You know your mother dies.
No wait, that’s not right,
How about a cousin?
Maybe three of your dogs,
No, make it a dozen.
Ok, now hold this starving child,
And get rid of all that bling,
We wouldn't want them to think,
You don't mean what you sing.
No, you can’t eat that,
What would the vegans think?
And remember once you've eaten,
To spew it down the sink.
What’s everyone else doing?
Well you'd better play along,
You don’t want to be left behind,
So write another love song.
Yes, I know your husbands left you,
What’s that got to do with it?
Just scribble something down,
The lawyers will make it fit.
What’s that? You've blown all your money,
On a hard drugs addiction,
I'll inform the press,
They love an image contradiction.
You'll comeback in six years,
In a different image context,
As the bad girl of rock,
Ok, who’s next?