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Description
I wish I could write you something that would let you speak to me. The way my words used to touch you, move you, cause you to say something simple to me. The way your words would change my entire day, my mood, and who knew, my life. Now, I'm sitting here, wishing that there was something you would possibly say just to make all this pain and wonder, disappear.

Every day that goes by I'm stuck in wonder about whether or not you'll ever be back, and sadly, I always know the answer. Always. It never changes. I know the answer is no, and I know you don't really think about me the way I think of you, but I can wonder if you wish you did. When I let myself think about it, I cry. I hurry up and wipe the tears, but I do cry. I never used to be able to feel this deep before and the fact that we made each other feel like the whole world was a playground for love...amazes me.

Moments go by when all I can remember are things that we shared, and things that we wanted. The sad part is that I still want and yearn for those things, where you on the other hand, totally don't. I write ALL the time, hoping you see what I'm saying. I want you to. I need you to. And not even for the sake of knowing you are, but for the sake of a person who just wanted someone to care for them.

I never had someone care for me. Never. Not like that. Or even close to it. Despite the fact that you may think I was lying? I never lied about that. People don't take to me, and it's rare that I have people who wish to surround themselves with me.

My grandmom said it last night, "My little girl just wants someone to show that they care."

I mean, I know she cares. But when she is gone, who do I really have? I'm going to be alone. And that doesn't scare me to face the world alone. It really doesn't. I'm not scared of too much anymore. Maybe she is right, I just want someone to show me that...I'm cared for. I can only put my heart on the line for people so many times before it turns into something else.

What's wrong with me? Why don't people care about me?

I think that all the time. More so than any normal person would. I think that is why my grandmom puts so much effort into showing me that she cares, because my whole life up to my death, I'm not too sure I'm going to find someone else who does.

They all get mad at her for "favoring" me. And I get mad at everyone else because I'm always by myself. I like that she favors me. Some days I feel like I need more love than some people. Not because I'm needy, but because when someone does love me, it throws me for a loop.

Here I am, pouring my heart out to people who don't care. To strangers just to get a reaction, a response. But I know better. I know who this is intended for, won't read this, won't care and will simply pass the time by trying to forget.

I always knew you so well. I had you figured out. This is what happens when you know everyone else, and you barely know yourself.

Description
I wish I could write you something that would let you speak to me. The way my words used to touch you, move you, cause you to say something simple to me. The way your words would change my entire day, my mood, and who knew, my life. Now, I'm sitting here, wishing that there was something you would possibly say just to make all this pain and wonder, disappear.

Every day that goes by I'm stuck in wonder about whether or not you'll ever be back, and sadly, I always know the answer. Always. It never changes. I know the answer is no, and I know you don't really think about me the way I think of you, but I can wonder if you wish you did. When I let myself think about it, I cry. I hurry up and wipe the tears, but I do cry. I never used to be able to feel this deep before and the fact that we made each other feel like the whole world was a playground for love...amazes me.

Moments go by when all I can remember are things that we shared, and things that we wanted. The sad part is that I still want and yearn for those things, where you on the other hand, totally don't. I write ALL the time, hoping you see what I'm saying. I want you to. I need you to. And not even for the sake of knowing you are, but for the sake of a person who just wanted someone to care for them.

I never had someone care for me. Never. Not like that. Or even close to it. Despite the fact that you may think I was lying? I never lied about that. People don't take to me, and it's rare that I have people who wish to surround themselves with me.

My grandmom said it last night, "My little girl just wants someone to show that they care."

I mean, I know she cares. But when she is gone, who do I really have? I'm going to be alone. And that doesn't scare me to face the world alone. It really doesn't. I'm not scared of too much anymore. Maybe she is right, I just want someone to show me that...I'm cared for. I can only put my heart on the line for people so many times before it turns into something else.

What's wrong with me? Why don't people care about me?

I think that all the time. More so than any normal person would. I think that is why my grandmom puts so much effort into showing me that she cares, because my whole life up to my death, I'm not too sure I'm going to find someone else who does.

They all get mad at her for "favoring" me. And I get mad at everyone else because I'm always by myself. I like that she favors me. Some days I feel like I need more love than some people. Not because I'm needy, but because when someone does love me, it throws me for a loop.

Here I am, pouring my heart out to people who don't care. To strangers just to get a reaction, a response. But I know better. I know who this is intended for, won't read this, won't care and will simply pass the time by trying to forget.

I always knew you so well. I had you figured out. This is what happens when you know everyone else, and you barely know yourself.