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Description
---->e p I l o g u e//twoyearslater<----

Axel was shaking. His every last nerve was screaming… In annoyance, in hurt, in just plain, utter rage. He glared angrily at the man at the other side of the room.

“I think you should leave Demyx. If… If you know what’s good for you,” he hissed through his teeth, body still shaking.

“I have no regrets, you whore,” the other man smirked, as he slammed the door behind him, stomping off and out of Axel’s life.

Axel’s entire body relaxed once the other presence was gone, his body curling up until he was shaking once again, this time from the sobs escaping his shriveled throat. Nothing was going the way he thought it would. When had this downward spiral started? Was it when he met Demyx? No, it was way before that. Marluxia? No… Farther…

The phone rang, Axel’s head springing up, startled. He sighed, wondering if he should even bother. The ringing continued. When it had gotten to it’s eleventh ring, the redhead sighed, getting from his miserable slouch and moping over to the phone. He picked up the receiver jerkily, slowly bringing it up to his ear.

“The hell do you want?” he snarled into the phone. A soft voice responded. A voice he hadn’t heard in, god, how long had it been? A voice he wasn’t expecting.

“I…I—Um, Hey, Axel?”

Axel froze, eyes shooting open.

“R—Roxas?” he breathed into the receiver, clutching at the phone cord.

“Yeah… Long time no see, huh?” Roxas sighed and giggled at the same time. “I miss you, Ax. We haven’t talked… Since, well… Since my wedding,” Roxas got quieter.

“I guess we haven’t. I’ve been pretty busy,” Axel rubbed the back of his head.

“Same.”

Awkward silence…

“Um, so, did you get my letter?” Roxas asked, abruptly breaking the silence that lingered between the two.

“Oh, uh, no, I haven’t really been checking my mail,” Axel laughed. He stopped checking the mail regularly when his life started going to hell… Two years ago. “I usually just check it like once a month… Um, I’ll go look now,” Axel said awkwardly, now making his way over to an overflowing bin next to his door filled with various envelopes of all different sizes and hues.

“Roxas Strife… Roxas Strife,” the blonde could hear the redhead’s mumbles just barely over the rustling of papers. “A-ha! Bingo!” Axel exclaimed, gingerly taking hold of the envelope, just staring at it. It was sent about a week ago.

“Open it, you dunce,” Roxas mumbled.

“I’m getting there, hold your horses,” Axel responded, cocking a brow as he carefully opened the small white envelope. A neat craft like card emerged. Looked like something Namine would make. Axel’s eyes scanned over the paper, a strange feeling bubbling through his chest.

“A… a baby shower? Shit, Roxas, you got Namine pregnant?” Axel muttered, more to himself, but Roxas heard, cocking a brow on the other end of the line.

“Well you don’t sound happy… Namine always wanted kids though,” Roxas explained.

“Oh, what? Oh, sorry, I was just… Never mind. Congrats, kiddo!” Axel managed to squeeze out, fake enthusiasm dripping through those few words.

“Thanks… So you gonna come?” Roxas pondered, a sense of hopefulness laced in his voice.

Axel stared at the paper. Baby shower. Axel missed the wedding. And look at his life now. Maybe he could somehow… set things straight with Roxas, and then maybe his life could go back to normal.

He had better decide before rush hour…

“Of course I will. You two are probably my two favorite people, so a mini version of the two of you is definitely something worth celebrating,” Axel smiled, clutching the phone cord tighter.

“See you then Axel. You don’t know what this means to me,” Roxas sighed, smiling.

Roxas sat on the couch. So many of Namine’s female friends had arrived already. Of course. Women loved these types of things. All complementing her, all assuring her just how precious her little boy (yes, it was going to be a boy) would be.

Axel pulled up the driveway, shifting into park. He sighed, resting his head against the steering wheel. Well, here he was. Two years after the biggest regret of his life. He glanced inside the window of the house before him, saw Namine peck her husband on the cheek, the man smiling back at the her.

Roxas was happy.

Shouldn’t that have been enough?

Axel sighed deeply. He didn’t get stuck in traffic. But his thoughts were still racing. There was still something still weighing down on his heart. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking slowly a few times before climbing out of his car. He reluctantly, hand drawing back a few times, rang the doorbell.

A very short time after he rang the bell, the door flung open, the blonde he had been dreading to see for two years standing right in front of him.

“A…Axel,” Roxas muttered, eyes widening.

“Not quite what you expected?” Axel said, spreading his arms out. His eyes were sunken in, his hair pulled back into a ponytail, bits sticking out near the front. “Sorry, life hasn’t been treating me all to well,” Axel sighed, placing his hands on his hips.

“I—I’m sorry, really,” Roxas mumbled, eyes turning downward. “I should’ve been there for you, you’re my best friend…”

“Nah, Roxas, I never asked for help. You had no idea,” Axel smiled, hollow.

“But… Why not?” Roxas pleaded.

“Hey, look… Maybe we shouldn’t have this discussion out here. Care to move inside?” Axel said, casually. He came here for one reason.

He wouldn’t be stuck in a road rage any longer.

Roxas nodded, motioning for Axel to follow. And Axel followed.

Roxas led Axel to what looked like a guest bedroom, shrugging, telling Axel to enter. Axel did so, pulling up a chair that was next to the door and sitting down on it. Roxas slowly closed the door, plopping on the bed and looking at Axel. Silence followed.

“Axel—”

“Roxas—”

The two voices broke the silence at the same time.

“No, you go first,” Axel mumbled, rubbing at the red spikes erupting from his ponytail.

“Uh, right,” Roxas muttered, pulling on his pant legs a bit. He inhaled deeply, letting a long sigh follow. “I’ve been so nervous about this. I’ve… I’ve wanted to say something to you since the wedding, but we never saw each other, talked to each other. It was like there was a sudden gap.”

Roxas paused; Axel staring more intently at the golden locks crowning his friend’s head. Roxas’ gaze was locked on his twiddling thumbs. His motions stopped abruptly, his sapphire orbs looking up to look Axel straight in the eye.

“I… I thought you might have… found out,” Roxas barely whispered, blue eyes giving off a vulnerable shine. Axel’s green eyes became slits.

“Find out… what, exactly?” Axel breathed, heart pace quickening. Roxas sighed, eyes trailing back down to his thumbs.

“To be honest, I’m kind of glad you missed my wedding. That you didn’t come until after the vows. Until I was already married,” Roxas was shaking a bit, Axel’s brows furrowing.

“What are you talking about, Roxas?” Axel’s voice was a bit louder, sounding loud and harsh compared to the two hushed voices filling the space before. It seemed to ring in the tense air, another prolonged silence following. Namine and her friends could be heard giggling in the main room.

“I… I wasn’t sure what I was doing that day. If I was right in my decisions,” Roxas was clearly shaking now, fists tightening on his knees. “Axel, I,” Roxas’ voice was strangled.

“I loved you…”

Axel’s heart froze.

“When you burst in after the vows, just seeing your face, my heart almost stopped. This feeling of regret washed over me, but then I looked at Namine again… And gosh, I realized I loved her too—”

Roxas’ voice disappeared as Axel lunged. Before he could realize what was happening, Roxas was pressed against the soft surface of the bed, Axel’s lean figure hovering over his own smaller frame.

“Roxas… Why didn’t you tell me?” Axel forced out, tears coming to his eyes.

“How was I supposed to tell my best friend that I loved him? How was I supposed to tell Namine that I wasn’t going to marry her because I loved another man?” Roxas cried desperately, Axel’s tears falling onto the blonde’s face now, rolling down his soft cheeks.

“Why did you let it go that far?” Axel asked, shaking.

“Because, I loved her too!” Roxas exclaimed, voice hushed once again.

Axel stared at the boy underneath him, the face he’d admired for god knows how long, the face he’d dreamt about, the face he had matched with regret for the past two years of hell. Tears were now freely flowing down his face, down his teardrop tattoos, splattering onto the face of his dreams and nightmares.

Before he could stop himself, the redhead found himself lowering, face lowering until he was breathing Roxas’ breathe, his lips grazing those lips he had longed to touch for so long.

And suddenly, that small amount of contact was broken, Axel instead feeling a shove against his face. He looked down at the face below him once again, to see the blonde’s own tears starting to run down and mix with the redhead’s own fallen tears.

“No… Axel, don’t,” Roxas breathed, eyes closing, tears trickling down his face.

“But… But why? Why can’t we just see? See what could have been? Why can’t we live in the past, for just a moment? You don’t have to tell Namine, you never have to talk to me again, if you don’t want to… Please, Roxas!” Axel begged, gripping the younger’s slender shoulders, shaking them gently.

“Axel… I’m happy now. I don’t want to go back to the past. I realized that I loved Namine as much, if not more than you. I’m happy now,” Roxas whispered, tears ceasing to flow.

Axel shook above him. No response.

“Axel, I said I was happy you were late, because I know that if you had come to the wedding before the vows, I know for a fact now that I would have called it off and gone with you. I thank that traffic that you found yourself struggling in, because now I have Namine, now I’m going to have a family, and I couldn’t be happier,” a small, sorrowful smile spread across Roxas’ face, a joyful glow returning to his azure eyes.

He would have stopped. Damn that traffic. Damn his indecisive traffic.

Axel’s eyes looked over Roxas, taking in the smile now finding it’s place among Roxas’ features.

“You’re happy… But what about me?” Axel sobbed, tears falling once again onto Roxas’ soft skin.

“Axel… There’s someone out there for you, just… just give up on me,” Roxas stated, smile disappearing.

“Don’t tell me that! Do you know what hell I’ve been through these past two years without you? Do you know what abuse, what neglect, what disrespect, what hell I’ve been through, with Demyx, with Marluxia, with everyone I tried to replace you with? Do you want to see my scars?” Axel desperately howled, voice shaking and rising with each word.

He gave Roxas one last shove as he lifted himself off of the other, standing up, back facing Roxas.

“I shouldn’t have come. Have a nice happy life without me, Roxas,” Axel softly whispered.

I tried forcing myself through this traffic, and yet all I ended up with was a massive traffic accident…

Axel gave one last glance at the blonde who remained lying on the bed before swiftly exiting the room, softly shutting the door behind him.

Roxas continued to lay there, tears sliding from his eyes.

“Roxas? Roxas!” he heard a gentle voice call.

His eyes sprang open, arm instantly coming up to his face, wiping away any remaining tears. He sat up in the bed to see Namine slowly cracking the door open, peaking in.

“Roxas, we need you out here… How long have you been in here honey? Wasn’t Axel here?” she asked, titling her head slightly.

“It’s nothing, hun. I’ll be out in a second,” Roxas said, smile resuming as he looked at his wife. She returned a smile and walked away, Roxas slowly getting up and following. He found most of the guests sitting around, looking at him eagerly.

“Roxas, I told them I’m letting you name our baby boy,” Namine said, smile growing larger.

“Me? I get to choose?” Roxas questioned, pointing at himself, a bit surprised. Namine nodded eagerly, eyes glistening.

“Our baby boy will be named…”

Roxas glance out the window, just barely seeing a spot of bright red before it hopped into a convertible, speeding off abruptly.

“Axel.”

Description
---->e p I l o g u e//twoyearslater<----

Axel was shaking. His every last nerve was screaming… In annoyance, in hurt, in just plain, utter rage. He glared angrily at the man at the other side of the room.

“I think you should leave Demyx. If… If you know what’s good for you,” he hissed through his teeth, body still shaking.

“I have no regrets, you whore,” the other man smirked, as he slammed the door behind him, stomping off and out of Axel’s life.

Axel’s entire body relaxed once the other presence was gone, his body curling up until he was shaking once again, this time from the sobs escaping his shriveled throat. Nothing was going the way he thought it would. When had this downward spiral started? Was it when he met Demyx? No, it was way before that. Marluxia? No… Farther…

The phone rang, Axel’s head springing up, startled. He sighed, wondering if he should even bother. The ringing continued. When it had gotten to it’s eleventh ring, the redhead sighed, getting from his miserable slouch and moping over to the phone. He picked up the receiver jerkily, slowly bringing it up to his ear.

“The hell do you want?” he snarled into the phone. A soft voice responded. A voice he hadn’t heard in, god, how long had it been? A voice he wasn’t expecting.

“I…I—Um, Hey, Axel?”

Axel froze, eyes shooting open.

“R—Roxas?” he breathed into the receiver, clutching at the phone cord.

“Yeah… Long time no see, huh?” Roxas sighed and giggled at the same time. “I miss you, Ax. We haven’t talked… Since, well… Since my wedding,” Roxas got quieter.

“I guess we haven’t. I’ve been pretty busy,” Axel rubbed the back of his head.

“Same.”

Awkward silence…

“Um, so, did you get my letter?” Roxas asked, abruptly breaking the silence that lingered between the two.

“Oh, uh, no, I haven’t really been checking my mail,” Axel laughed. He stopped checking the mail regularly when his life started going to hell… Two years ago. “I usually just check it like once a month… Um, I’ll go look now,” Axel said awkwardly, now making his way over to an overflowing bin next to his door filled with various envelopes of all different sizes and hues.

“Roxas Strife… Roxas Strife,” the blonde could hear the redhead’s mumbles just barely over the rustling of papers. “A-ha! Bingo!” Axel exclaimed, gingerly taking hold of the envelope, just staring at it. It was sent about a week ago.

“Open it, you dunce,” Roxas mumbled.

“I’m getting there, hold your horses,” Axel responded, cocking a brow as he carefully opened the small white envelope. A neat craft like card emerged. Looked like something Namine would make. Axel’s eyes scanned over the paper, a strange feeling bubbling through his chest.

“A… a baby shower? Shit, Roxas, you got Namine pregnant?” Axel muttered, more to himself, but Roxas heard, cocking a brow on the other end of the line.

“Well you don’t sound happy… Namine always wanted kids though,” Roxas explained.

“Oh, what? Oh, sorry, I was just… Never mind. Congrats, kiddo!” Axel managed to squeeze out, fake enthusiasm dripping through those few words.

“Thanks… So you gonna come?” Roxas pondered, a sense of hopefulness laced in his voice.

Axel stared at the paper. Baby shower. Axel missed the wedding. And look at his life now. Maybe he could somehow… set things straight with Roxas, and then maybe his life could go back to normal.

He had better decide before rush hour…

“Of course I will. You two are probably my two favorite people, so a mini version of the two of you is definitely something worth celebrating,” Axel smiled, clutching the phone cord tighter.

“See you then Axel. You don’t know what this means to me,” Roxas sighed, smiling.

Roxas sat on the couch. So many of Namine’s female friends had arrived already. Of course. Women loved these types of things. All complementing her, all assuring her just how precious her little boy (yes, it was going to be a boy) would be.

Axel pulled up the driveway, shifting into park. He sighed, resting his head against the steering wheel. Well, here he was. Two years after the biggest regret of his life. He glanced inside the window of the house before him, saw Namine peck her husband on the cheek, the man smiling back at the her.

Roxas was happy.

Shouldn’t that have been enough?

Axel sighed deeply. He didn’t get stuck in traffic. But his thoughts were still racing. There was still something still weighing down on his heart. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking slowly a few times before climbing out of his car. He reluctantly, hand drawing back a few times, rang the doorbell.

A very short time after he rang the bell, the door flung open, the blonde he had been dreading to see for two years standing right in front of him.

“A…Axel,” Roxas muttered, eyes widening.

“Not quite what you expected?” Axel said, spreading his arms out. His eyes were sunken in, his hair pulled back into a ponytail, bits sticking out near the front. “Sorry, life hasn’t been treating me all to well,” Axel sighed, placing his hands on his hips.

“I—I’m sorry, really,” Roxas mumbled, eyes turning downward. “I should’ve been there for you, you’re my best friend…”

“Nah, Roxas, I never asked for help. You had no idea,” Axel smiled, hollow.

“But… Why not?” Roxas pleaded.

“Hey, look… Maybe we shouldn’t have this discussion out here. Care to move inside?” Axel said, casually. He came here for one reason.

He wouldn’t be stuck in a road rage any longer.

Roxas nodded, motioning for Axel to follow. And Axel followed.

Roxas led Axel to what looked like a guest bedroom, shrugging, telling Axel to enter. Axel did so, pulling up a chair that was next to the door and sitting down on it. Roxas slowly closed the door, plopping on the bed and looking at Axel. Silence followed.

“Axel—”

“Roxas—”

The two voices broke the silence at the same time.

“No, you go first,” Axel mumbled, rubbing at the red spikes erupting from his ponytail.

“Uh, right,” Roxas muttered, pulling on his pant legs a bit. He inhaled deeply, letting a long sigh follow. “I’ve been so nervous about this. I’ve… I’ve wanted to say something to you since the wedding, but we never saw each other, talked to each other. It was like there was a sudden gap.”

Roxas paused; Axel staring more intently at the golden locks crowning his friend’s head. Roxas’ gaze was locked on his twiddling thumbs. His motions stopped abruptly, his sapphire orbs looking up to look Axel straight in the eye.

“I… I thought you might have… found out,” Roxas barely whispered, blue eyes giving off a vulnerable shine. Axel’s green eyes became slits.

“Find out… what, exactly?” Axel breathed, heart pace quickening. Roxas sighed, eyes trailing back down to his thumbs.

“To be honest, I’m kind of glad you missed my wedding. That you didn’t come until after the vows. Until I was already married,” Roxas was shaking a bit, Axel’s brows furrowing.

“What are you talking about, Roxas?” Axel’s voice was a bit louder, sounding loud and harsh compared to the two hushed voices filling the space before. It seemed to ring in the tense air, another prolonged silence following. Namine and her friends could be heard giggling in the main room.

“I… I wasn’t sure what I was doing that day. If I was right in my decisions,” Roxas was clearly shaking now, fists tightening on his knees. “Axel, I,” Roxas’ voice was strangled.

“I loved you…”

Axel’s heart froze.

“When you burst in after the vows, just seeing your face, my heart almost stopped. This feeling of regret washed over me, but then I looked at Namine again… And gosh, I realized I loved her too—”

Roxas’ voice disappeared as Axel lunged. Before he could realize what was happening, Roxas was pressed against the soft surface of the bed, Axel’s lean figure hovering over his own smaller frame.

“Roxas… Why didn’t you tell me?” Axel forced out, tears coming to his eyes.

“How was I supposed to tell my best friend that I loved him? How was I supposed to tell Namine that I wasn’t going to marry her because I loved another man?” Roxas cried desperately, Axel’s tears falling onto the blonde’s face now, rolling down his soft cheeks.

“Why did you let it go that far?” Axel asked, shaking.

“Because, I loved her too!” Roxas exclaimed, voice hushed once again.

Axel stared at the boy underneath him, the face he’d admired for god knows how long, the face he’d dreamt about, the face he had matched with regret for the past two years of hell. Tears were now freely flowing down his face, down his teardrop tattoos, splattering onto the face of his dreams and nightmares.

Before he could stop himself, the redhead found himself lowering, face lowering until he was breathing Roxas’ breathe, his lips grazing those lips he had longed to touch for so long.

And suddenly, that small amount of contact was broken, Axel instead feeling a shove against his face. He looked down at the face below him once again, to see the blonde’s own tears starting to run down and mix with the redhead’s own fallen tears.

“No… Axel, don’t,” Roxas breathed, eyes closing, tears trickling down his face.

“But… But why? Why can’t we just see? See what could have been? Why can’t we live in the past, for just a moment? You don’t have to tell Namine, you never have to talk to me again, if you don’t want to… Please, Roxas!” Axel begged, gripping the younger’s slender shoulders, shaking them gently.

“Axel… I’m happy now. I don’t want to go back to the past. I realized that I loved Namine as much, if not more than you. I’m happy now,” Roxas whispered, tears ceasing to flow.

Axel shook above him. No response.

“Axel, I said I was happy you were late, because I know that if you had come to the wedding before the vows, I know for a fact now that I would have called it off and gone with you. I thank that traffic that you found yourself struggling in, because now I have Namine, now I’m going to have a family, and I couldn’t be happier,” a small, sorrowful smile spread across Roxas’ face, a joyful glow returning to his azure eyes.

He would have stopped. Damn that traffic. Damn his indecisive traffic.

Axel’s eyes looked over Roxas, taking in the smile now finding it’s place among Roxas’ features.

“You’re happy… But what about me?” Axel sobbed, tears falling once again onto Roxas’ soft skin.

“Axel… There’s someone out there for you, just… just give up on me,” Roxas stated, smile disappearing.

“Don’t tell me that! Do you know what hell I’ve been through these past two years without you? Do you know what abuse, what neglect, what disrespect, what hell I’ve been through, with Demyx, with Marluxia, with everyone I tried to replace you with? Do you want to see my scars?” Axel desperately howled, voice shaking and rising with each word.

He gave Roxas one last shove as he lifted himself off of the other, standing up, back facing Roxas.

“I shouldn’t have come. Have a nice happy life without me, Roxas,” Axel softly whispered.

I tried forcing myself through this traffic, and yet all I ended up with was a massive traffic accident…

Axel gave one last glance at the blonde who remained lying on the bed before swiftly exiting the room, softly shutting the door behind him.

Roxas continued to lay there, tears sliding from his eyes.

“Roxas? Roxas!” he heard a gentle voice call.

His eyes sprang open, arm instantly coming up to his face, wiping away any remaining tears. He sat up in the bed to see Namine slowly cracking the door open, peaking in.

“Roxas, we need you out here… How long have you been in here honey? Wasn’t Axel here?” she asked, titling her head slightly.

“It’s nothing, hun. I’ll be out in a second,” Roxas said, smile resuming as he looked at his wife. She returned a smile and walked away, Roxas slowly getting up and following. He found most of the guests sitting around, looking at him eagerly.

“Roxas, I told them I’m letting you name our baby boy,” Namine said, smile growing larger.

“Me? I get to choose?” Roxas questioned, pointing at himself, a bit surprised. Namine nodded eagerly, eyes glistening.

“Our baby boy will be named…”

Roxas glance out the window, just barely seeing a spot of bright red before it hopped into a convertible, speeding off abruptly.

“Axel.”