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t-writes-poems — given.
Published: 2010-09-30 02:18:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 701; Favourites: 22; Downloads: 2
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Description
and you say the worldtastes of cigarettes and satellites
when i pull these words
from my cracking bones
and place them in your hands.
and maybe it's true
that we're just creatures
and chemical reactions,
but i'm thinking maybe
if you could steal my breath,
i could steal your heartbeat
from whereever it's hidden
beneath your fragile skin.
and then maybe i'd have
so much more to hold
than the borderlines
and broken lines
i've drawn and given
to define this life.
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Comments: 8
I love how it sort of rhymed at the end. X3
Good job!
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i really like this. i love the opening lines. it really caught my attention
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This is wonderful, and even better when I went back and read it a few times, and looked at each line individually and then the poem as a whole... Great writing!
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That's the spirit! 
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Oops hit the enter button too soon! Sorry -- I was going to say, I enjoyed it -- the first couple lines especially, with the playing on the sense of taste : "and you say the world / tastes of cigarettes and satellites" Glad to see your work in my inbox again.
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I love the way you worded things here. The images in this are BEAUTIFULLY portrayed, the emotions raw and welted and blistered and pulsating. Excellent work.
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