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TaliDesade In reply to regilio11 [2019-07-21 21:45:00 +0000 UTC]

NP!
Just a note, my Genesis 8 Shep is much better than this one. Her head shape matches the game model better.

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TaliDesade In reply to TreeWyrm [2018-04-05 16:29:00 +0000 UTC]

Genesis 3 is a base model included with Daz Studio. Daz Studio is a 3D modeling app. It is free, and sort of works on a freemium model. The software is free, the base model is free, but many other models and content are paid add ons. There are numerous 3rd party sites that sell and offer content as well, and you can find plenty of free stuff like my download here. There are sites dedicated to providing free stuff for Daz.
It is like XNALara with more features.
The biggest advantage is that Daz models are pretty good quality. They have a high enough poly count with high resolution textures that you do not see the seams. These models also have features that allow them to bend and pose more realistically with little effort from the user. And Daz Studio has a physically based ray tracing render engine from Nvidia called Iray, which can be run on Nvidia GPUs. Its not only such render engine, but it is free with Daz Studio, and that is a key feature. You can render things in Iray without paying a dime if you know what you are doing. (Do note Iray does not work on AMD video cards.)
Daz is also pretty user friendly, or at least more user friendly than most 3D apps. You can find helpful presets for just about anything to get a head start without knowing much about the program. This makes it easier for hobbyists like me.
To put it bluntly, Daz Studio is kind of like "easy mode" for 3D art. Which is why I use it, LOL.

www.daz3d.com/

Daz models are more modular, in that you can dress Genesis 3 with any clothing made for Genesis 3. This makes it easy to dress and mix and match clothing on these characters with just a couple clicks. That is why I desire seeing recreations of gaming models in Daz, because now I can dress Shepard in any outfit I have for Daz Studio. No head swapping needed like in XNA. As I mentioned, Genesis 3 is a base model, as every few years they release a new base version that has upgrades over the old versions. You can of course still use the old models and even use old content on new content with some tweaking.

What I did here was create a model based off Shepard. The hair is a direct import from the game, but her face is a recreation. I am mostly a novice at actual 3D modeling, and I had some help with another program called FaceGen Artist to get a head start on Shepard, and I worked from there.

My dream would be to see more people create gaming content for Daz. There are people with far more talent than me that would be able to do some amazing things with this program.

By all means, you can link this into your Mass Effect page, that's very flattering! I will warn you though much of my DA content is in the 18+ range (lots of nudes and some perversion), and that may turn some people off.

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TreeWyrm In reply to TaliDesade [2018-04-06 10:55:23 +0000 UTC]

Thank you that was really informative! I learned more than I even knew I didn't know from your explanation of 3D modelling!

Thank you also, for the warning. I may... unfortunately have to retract my request. The primary reason is the fact that Facebook seems to still be a platform upon which children can readily make fake profiles (I don't know how they do this, but I swear there's a fan of our page whose mental age can't be any more than that of a 12 yr old).

I don't think nudity is so much of a problem, and technically I have no problem with porn either. Although, perhaps for sake of my own principles, what you make doesn't fit so well with me.

Since children will always seek out whatever adults try to keep to themselves - it is their way of learning how to be adults themselves as they grow - I appreciate that no matter the limitation placed on access, sooner or later children will find a way to access whatever we try to keep from them.

For that reason, I appreciate the responsibility that resides in the shape and form of what we keep from them, and... wherever possible, I try to consider that contingency. For example, porn in theory, is not just fun but highly educational. Both adult and child benefit from that.

Early access to pornographic material has been shown to advance the start of sexual activity in children. but if that is something that will happen from time to time even when care is taken. I appreciate presently it is more an absence of care than accident that leads children to undue exposure but even if we took all steps to prevent this, exposure would still happen by accident.

Porn can reinforce and introduce essential concepts in sex education (and social education) if it can represent clear consent and the necessary diversity to inform body ideals, and the necessary constraints to form partner choice ideals that are most sensible. Rape porn, and porn that involves children, for example, teach harmful patterns of behaviour and attitudes.

For me, some of what you create verges on the sexualisation of barely pubescent children (I suspect that is somewhat unavoidable in most 3D modelling as 'plastic-looking'  skins that are the most simple to make, cannot help but look young to our eyes. No blemishes, scarring, other age-distinctive marks, and body hair always complicates things (it's one of the best markers for sexual maturity besides in females, the significant shift to wider hips than breast profile). That's not you... that's just computer modelling for you!

It doesn't help that culturally, hebephilia is also a very widespread (unfortunately very damaging) phenomenon and even if it weren't some cultures (especially ones that originate around the tropics) have a very sensible distaste of bodyhair, born of hygiene and the knowledge that ticks, lice and fleas are common in those parts of the world and thrive best in furred areas. LoL! Hebephilia informs many modern now-western body ideals for peak sexual attraction.

So those are my personal reasons. Nevertheless, I cannot  thank you enough for your honesty, and part of me wishes I could share your excellent FemShep model even so. Alas, even if I set aside my own personal feelings, I think you'd agree the chance of children liking my page is pretty high, so sadly I suppose I should not post your work to our albums.

Several years ago a young lad brought artwork to my attention via Facebook for our page. The way he wrote, I wondered if he was younger, or perhaps not a native english speaker? I'd asked for proof the artwork was his, he'd asked for my email to send me a better original. Then... it turns out, he confessed (to my personal email account) that it wasn't his, and that he wasn't supposed to be on Facebook and people had been mean to him there.

I wrote a very measured response, suspecting that perhaps he was 13yrs old and knowing we had mildly pornographic material on our page (and obviously in the game itself!) I tried to offer him some guidance. I was kind and assured him I didn't hate him for having lied. He said he was younger than he should have been but loved the game. So I tried the best I could to mitigate any harm caused in that respect (ME's sex is actually really educational, but ME2's options were more varied).

Then I got an email titled "Your correspondence with my son Shane" - and my blood ran cold! I imagined an angry, defensive, and very frightened mother trying to protect her son from an online sexual predator!

But it turned out his mother was really impressed with what I'd written, and very grateful that I'd tried to look out for her son, who was, in fact, even younger than I thought: 11 yrs old. To my great surprise, she asked me to continue being his penpal! I still get emails from him, from time to time and am happy to say he's turning out alright, but... whew... that was scary!

So I hope you understand. No I'm sure you do, else you wouldn't have been forward about the content you create.

You have my admiration and respect, thank you very much for your response. If ever you set up a separate platform for non-adult material, please let me know!

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TaliDesade In reply to TreeWyrm [2018-04-06 16:44:42 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I have that duality in me. I like gaming, and love Mass Effect, but I also like being a silly perv. Sometimes these intersect. I do try to avoid getting too pornographic, as I skip over things and often imply things in dialogue. I generally try to keep it fun and upbeat and avoid putting women down. (Though I admit my most recent series probably can be seen differently and is more suggestive than my usual.) I like petite chests and women, and that creates trouble sometimes from people who think they are underage. But the ladies I create often have basis on real world people, if not directly, in general. The character Akae was inspired by women like Kagami Shuna (who did porn, but normal pictures of her can be found in safe searches.) Marie is based off the video game character, but there are adult women like her as well. One thing I do stress is that women come in different shapes and sizes, and they can all be sexy, and should be allowed to be sexy.
In a comic I did, a character lost her breasts (and only her breasts) by magic pills (yeah). She felt ashamed and less of a woman. But her partner stood strong for, kissed her, and carried her away.
I once tested my characters with Microsoft's age guessing app, and I posted screencaps of it on DA. That app guessed nearly all of them over 18. Obviously that's not conclusive, but I felt pretty satisfied after that.

I bring all of this up as I know other people may see this conversation, and want to be clear about what I am doing.

When I was a teen, I was totally checking out the adult stuff when I could get away with. So yeah, I know what kids can do, LOL. It wouldn't surprise me if I had some teen followers, I'd be more surprised if I didn't. DA is probably a popular teen site itself.
I think its pretty safe to suggest many teens get their sex education from the internet long before their parents realize it. That's why I think schools need to cover it, so they can properly put it into context. I believe if people have a firm ground to stand on then they will be better prepared to deal with whatever they find on the internet and in life.

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TreeWyrm In reply to TaliDesade [2018-04-17 08:50:02 +0000 UTC]

Yeah... I can appreciate it's hard when you honestly aren't attractive to mega-huge cleavage! I myself have rather small breasts. In women it can be a sign of thyroid issues (problems holding onto fatty deposits) or as in my case, hormones can be the cause (I have PCOS).

Can I just say your 'lost breasts by magic pills' story is a lovely one. But may I had a future possible slant on it for you, that would really, really make something good and desperately needed in the world?

- Loss of breasts (one or both) due to cancer.

My mother went through everything you described after her first mastectomy. She felt less of a woman. She constantly fretted my father would leave her for it, as it added to the fact that she was getting older, and I (an unplanned baby) had changed her body in the normal natural ways (plus some extreme consequences because I also almost killed her, and gave her brain damage, during birth because of some nasty genetic disease some women get and I have since found out I inherited).

By any chance have you ever heard of 'Page 3 Stories'? In the UK, even now (although they are now all in bikinis') sexualisation of women has been a major stable of tabloid business. Now... porn is one thing, this is another: I'm talking about topless women (now in bikinis, same motivation and clothing doesn't change anything) posing coyly with the breasts on display for the titilation of male 'readers' in a NEWSPAPER. That's right: a NEWSpaper, in other words:

- No restricted access
- On sale in shops from supermarkets to corner stores to motorway service stations
- Often displayed at eye height or within easy reach of your average 4 yr old...
- If they aren't just lazily cast aside on bus seats, park benches, or provided as 'reading material' for patrons of cafes and daytime restaurants and pubs

It is no surprise therefore that in the UK, many boys and girls for many decades, first saw a topless woman other than their own mothers (which they may not remember due to infancy), in the pages of that newspaper. What a huge impact that has.

Exposure to porn at a younger age, is statistically correlated also with younger age of initiation of sexual activity. That's particularly harmful of course to girls, whose hips won't even be at their safest width before they hit their late 20s! Pre-18 yrs old, pregnancy is an even greater risk than it is normally (and it is one of the highest ranking health risk factors for women across the board, anyway!).

My mother's father was a firm fan of "The Sun" newspaper, which featured topless women on it's infamous "Page 3" with it's "News In Briefs". Teens as young as 15 were at one time featured, sometimes in school uniform. What a message THAT sends... Hebephilia galore - eat your heart out!

Anyway, I really think this affected my mother's self-image. Obviously: breasts were more important to her than they should be. Instead of feeling like she was a veteran, a survivor against the odds, stronger the other side of it and winner of a war against cancer... Losing her breast meant even more to her than living. She more or less... stopped living. When the cancer came back, the fear of losing her other breast, combined with fears of chemo/radiotherapy she had (which BTW were severe fears, because HG pregnancies basically inflict those symptoms upon you, so it's a nasty reminder of the pregnancy that killed her too)... and she refused to tell the doctor that she'd suspected the cancer had come back.

She died in agony.
From cancer.
A gruelling 8 yrs later.

So losing a breast, can destroy a life. This should NOT be the case. Your story may (if the reader is wise) help people accept that actually: it's NOT quite so bad a thing!

Going back to my grandfather, it pains me that he got to me, too. I was 4yrs old when I first saw a page 3 model posing on the pages of paper that had been laid down for me to paint upon (it was accidental exposure - they would normally remove that page). Also, my parents never stopped me from reading anything. I never even hesitated to flick through my grandfather's newspaper when he was out of the room after that, because I was befuddled by the fact I'd been told not to.

I remember asking why he read such a thing, and why she was there.
My grandmother and my mother whom were there when I asked when he was out of the house, didn't have an answer, but their faces answered my question well enough: embarassment, and shame. As if he was liking something, that hurt them. I never, ever was nice to him ever again after that, and began to notice the ways in which he treated my nana like a slave, for example.

Unfortunately, exposure had it's impacts upon me too. As you can guess: my breasts never amounted to much! More than that, I never looked very feminine before my 20s. Add to that my aptitude for science, logic, inter-connective reasoning and resourceful practicality (my father was training me to be an MI6 agent I think!)... well. I was told all through school that I "couldn't pass for female" - enough that when my breasts finally came, I punched them in fits of anger... because I couldn't past for male or female with them, apparently, meanwhile dreadfully difficult periods meant I also couldn't deny that I was born female either. I hated my body. In those years, it took away everything from me (my freedom, hobbies, love to exercise), and gave me nothing but more ways to 'not fit in' in return.

Thank god I met my husband when I was 17!

Anyway... life story aside, I love what you try to do, although I'd say be careful of age-assessors for the reasons I mentioned in my last exchange. Society today is very much orientated around hebephilia. I suppose technically, maybe you and my husband are hebephiles! But at least you both, in your good graces, are conscious of the welfare of the women around you, and one thing I'm guessing you'd never do, is date someone under-age. You know what you like (and that's good), but you're exerting control over how you follow through with that. That's to be commended.

If only more men were like you.

Just be mindful of the fact that whilst indeed we all come in different shapes and sizes, what we see can adjust our wants and expectations, and encourage them towards one thing or another. So... it may be you teeter on the edge of promoting hebephilia... But only because you share what it is you have worked out that you love. I still think that if 3D modelling were a little more skin-age representative, that I wouldn't feel the need to say that.

Example: I may have small breasts, but even when I was thin and younger... you could STILL tell (if you were paying attention) that I was older...

 - I bear a face that demonstrates my age by expressions I pull... more wrinkles than were I younger but also more often wise, or serious, or mischievous in an adult way
- My skin bears the scars of knocks and falls and accidents over time
- My skin's pores are larger than they would be on a child, and moles/beauty spots/freckles have had more years to grow and emerge (I have more of them, the ones I had when born/younger are now larger)
- I walk, talk, and think like an adult, which are all betrayed by the way in which I move as well as sound (my voice is a little deeper and my normal tone is deeper than that of a teenage girl)

Actually, being able to tell maturity is essential for safe sex both physically, and mentally. I was 'grown up' from an early age. However I respect only the men and women who came to me when both my body, and the way my mind applied it by the way I walked, talked and moved etc... were showing signs of that maturity.

The greatest tell of my age, is due to the fact that I do not subject myself to childification like most other women do. I do it from time to time, but only for laughs. This is when I bat my eyelids, put on a baby face and voice, and plead as a child would, for someone to do some task for me. I may even take on the mannerisms of toes pointing together, hands clutched, the 'I'm small and cute please love me' stances you see in your average 6 yr old.

But most of the time, and certainly any time I'm interested in anything sexual, what you see... is woman. An adult, and equal, and definitely someone you should always bear in mind has agency, intent, and the physical means to act in accordance with both. I provide no reason to suspect I'm mentally child-like, unable to fully understand what sex means or can result in, and that I am mentally able to handle the consequences.

[I know a guy who recently divorced a woman who manipulated him like a 12 yr old... and the more I think about it, the more I suspect she is actually mentally retarded and therefore really dangerously immature. Worst of all, she now has his baby. She will easily be able to relate to her baby and care for them in many ways because of it, but... as that child grows... it will run rings around her, receive no understanding of self-control or discipline, a complete absence of observation skills, and an inability to comprehend the consequences of his actions. Whilst being male, he will likely receive the 'keys to the city' in some specific ways, if you know what I mean, which could mean that if he doesn't have other influences in his life, he could become quite the nasty piece of work!

Unfortunately, as a more general rule, since children are looked after, and our world has gone the (sex) unequal way that it has in most parts... Women, having been robbed previously, of many other means to care for themselves, seized upon this instinctive means by which to plea for others to look after them, and learn it from day one. We are to never grow up, unless we expect by some miracle to be independent!

Thankfully we can be more independent now, so that's nice. BUT... old habits die hard. Also, you have to admit: it is somewhat of a shortcut that is awfully tempting... Act like a child, get treated like a child... but that has it's merits, doesn't it? Not healthy. Good for nobody as a rule... But there it is. It was encouraged once. Now it's hard to get rid of. How many people can you name, who were raised with a strong sense of control, and the knowledge that just because they could do a thing, didn't mean that they should? I know of very few besides myself.

Ugh. People!

Anyway, I just keep having more and more respect for you whenever you respond.. For my part, I just hope some of what I write offers insight, or something useful to you. You make me feel rewarded, just for knowing that someone like you, with your personal preferences, exists out there... but does not abuse them. My husband is much like yourself. A very honourable person indeed.

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TaliDesade In reply to TreeWyrm [2018-04-17 18:01:40 +0000 UTC]

I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. And it pains me to think she felt that way about herself. That's just so wrong.
I have been thinking of what to do with my story for a long time, and where to go with it. I didn't want it to be just about shrinking breasts. I wanted to have a bit of aftermath and have things keep escalating. But that presents problems of its own. Would this person be considered a terrorist? I think so. And I've thought of a character who's mother has cancer, and then wonders if this pill could help her.
Though I have shied away from comics because they were starting to get really time consuming. So I've left it on hiatus for a while. There are still plenty of hijinxi going on, and college girls talking about raunchy things.

I know I do a lot of pervy stuff, I can be pretty pervy. The series I'm doing now is probably the most suggestive I've done. So I'm certainly not innocent in what I do, though I will not do demeaning things. Like while Akae strips Marie, I try to show that Marie is part of the plot herself, knowing exactly what is going on while feigning ignorance. That's ultimately how I view her. She is never truly innocent, she likes to play audience at every turn. That's kind of her thing in the game, sometimes when she loses she pouts. But if you watch her, she will glance at the screen on occasion...checking to see if you are still watching.

I have heard of page 3 girls, and that they once did nudes. There are some tabloids that do similar here, with "page 5 girls," (yeah, all they did was use a different page, LOL,) but they never did nudes. It's very interesting to read your take on it.
I think a big part is not really the nudity, its how it is presented. Here's a page 3 girl, look at how pretty she is! That is the problem, so much of what you see is this ideal of perfection that most girls cannot achieve. If the page 3 girls were more diverse, if they showed women of different shapes and sizes and how they can all be beautiful, then I think a lot of things would be different. Just imagine if you opened that magazine as a young teen and saw a really flat chested page 3 girl, and magazine talked about how pretty she was. Maybe then teens wouldn't think so much less of themselves if they were not developing like their friends. If you knew that some boys totally were into the chest you had, then maybe you would have felt different.

There was a similar thing with toys. Barbie had a shape that was simply impossible to achieve. She had bazooka breasts and a super skinny waste. This led to some girls becoming anorexic as they desperately tried to fit this impossible ideal Barbie set. Eventually the company toned Barbie's shape down, giving her slightly more realistic proportions.

So I think nudity can be OK, it is our natural state. Its just how it is presented, and how certain things are sexualized in society.
I think things are getting better in some places. You can find websites dedicated to women of different shapes and sizes. Nothing is too out of bounds. I have a contact here who absolutely dreams of a fat woman with a flat chest. Years ago this idea would be unthinkable, but the internet gives anyone a voice. It is niche, but you can find places that adore them. Flat chest sites are pretty easy to find now, both porn and non porn. I hope that women who are flat can find these sites and see that there are people in this world who see them as being sexy for what they are. And sometimes we even need nudity to properly present that. After all, I'm sure you've heard different women say they are "flat chested" when in fact their chest is just small. That's where exposure can come in. Here is a woman with a very flat chest, and she is beautiful.

The reason why I think its OK is because teen pregnancy was high long before media came along. I am a result of a teen pregnancy, my mother was 15 when I was conceived, she had just turned 16 before my birth. But nudity was not prevalent in this time. It was more an educational and social issue. This is southern America, which has historically higher teen pregnancy than the rest of the country.
So I don't believe exposure to nudity leads to sexual activity, that is more of a society at large that always sexualizes things, and a lack of sex education. A woman's body is essentially demonized in a way. A man can take off his shirt, but if a woman does she may be called a whore. Why is that?

I think if nudity was more common, thus removing the stigma behind it, things would be different. People in Europe don't bat an eye at an exposed breast on TV. But an American would flip out. A perfect example was Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction at a Super Bowl. America completely freaked out over this, though it was a "blink and you miss it" flash on the TV. Europe collectively shrugged, and poked fun at the situation, wondering what the big deal was. In America it is a landmark moment in TV history. That's because America generally equates a nipple with sex, end of story. Even public breast feeding has been frowned upon, which is truly sad. America has demonized the female body, and that taboo leads to all kinds of problems.
So society at large could use a change.
That why I feel education, especially sex education is important. Remember what I said about teen pregnancy in the south? It also turns out many southern schools don't teach sex education, or if they do, its very brief. I've seen studies that show this lack of sex education can be a factor in teen pregnancy, and I truly believe this is the case.

I really appreciate your thoughts and kind words. You seem very thoughtful. I try to be, I may slip up time to time and get sucked into silly internet arguments or do pervy things in 3D, but I do try.

And to end on a happy note, I will present you the greatest sex education video ever made. You may have seen it at some point, it made the rounds on some humor websites and even TV shows played clips of it. I think it is fantastic! It is purposely silly, and it gets your attention. It has great advice, and best of all, you will NEVER forget this video. It is so over the top that it sticks with you, which is what education should always be about. Education does no good if you forget about it the next day. I think this video should be played in every sex ed class around the world, subtitles and all.

youtu.be/9uknDkAw-tU

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TreeWyrm In reply to TaliDesade [2018-04-19 10:15:22 +0000 UTC]

Yes! Nudity is NOT the problem. If it were, then we would hear no end of assault and rape convictions hitting headline for having happened "When the victim was attending a nudist colony".

That nudist holiday locations, and of course plenty tribes folks around the world, can bear breasts (or more than just them!) day to day, and clothing be considered a functional thing, not a sex-prohibitor, just goes to show how twisted modern society is, and how bad it has gotten at sexualising and objectifying - especially of women.

The fact that Page 3 girls (and sadly I must use the term 'girls' for they are none of them women by biological age - their hips are nowhere near as wide as they will be at full maturity) were naked is irrelevant. The tradition continues now with bikinis and... it's NO BETTER. It was never about the nudity. The problem is that its a girl - just a girl on her own - there for no other reason than to provide sexual aesthetic pleasure, and more than that: in a dreadful context.

Minds build associations. It's how we learn. A dog bites you when young: you may associate 'dog' with feelings of fear. Maybe it's not the word, but it's the sight. Maybe it's not all dogs, but just one kind. Maybe the kind doesn't matter: it's the colour. You learn.

Well... sex like fear, is considered, I believe from talking to counsellors and the like, an emotional state of being. It makes a lot more sense to treat sexual arousal in that way. It has a 'cooling off period' just like all other emotions. Maybe some things stop it dead, but not many: it's rather more powerful than that, like feelings of hatred or anger. It can take a while to come down from it.

That's why presenting it in a newspaper, where who knows what (or who!) you're going to look at in the next 2 seconds after you stop 'reading', is a really, really bad idea.

There's nothing wrong with porn. In fact I suspect it's a healthy instinct: if a group of humans once upon a time co-ordinated the dates they had sex, then that means stopping for women to birth, might be restricted to a more narrow period of being sedentary for a nomadic group. Being sedentary is bad for us: we run out of food, we run out of water being *clean* (we poop!) and... ticks and fleas multiply when we stay in one place. Or at least... they did when last nature was the largest impact on our evolution.

So... hearing people having sex and getting horny, seems to me to be a perfectly natural thing. You don't *have* to watch them necessarily... it's just a trigger to make you locate a partner, or your partner, and go do the same! Plus, whether back then people were straight or gay, sex still represents a strong form of bonding. We probably paired or grouped into sex partners back then as we do now, and were the stronger for it (since we are very varied in whether we chose people similar, or different to us) - allowing compartmentalisation of tasks between mating pairs as well as other group identities such as 'hunter' or 'builder' or 'child minder'.

Our problem is back then, we had no doors, so... children who operate very instinctively, will never in our lifetime understand in their youth, what parents keep from them. We, in our ignorance, go to further extremes of what we do under the presumption that children are prohibited from seeing (thinking it is safe). Result: added shame, but also potentially adults doing things that *will* cause a child problem WHEN that child sees (it's a matter of when, not if!). We need less shame, and more responsibility.

Of course... one of the problems is that the dominance of patriarchal values has led to the objectification of women as visual scenery to extremes. There's a weird sort of... myth: it's paradise until you actually *act* on what is offered by that paradise. Women walk, talk, dress, move, speak, and even offer facial expressions, as a *general day to day rule* that say "I'm so totally available for sex right now! I'm so into you!" - we are *conditioned* into doing this, and fashion is about being 'sexy' more than it is about being practical.

[As if everyone, everywhere, should be CONSTANTLY thinking about sex, all the time, in every context and situation... And be prompted to, every waking second of their days... and that this causes no harm]

Except of course any man (or woman for that matter) who approaches a coyly posed, bosom-enhancingly dressed, invitingly smiling woman who has just swaggered their hips past them as they walked... Learns that more than likely: she was NOT asking for sex. In fact, it wasn't even something she was thinking about, and rather than being open and available, she's actually going to be insulted, and maybe even scared that they approached her.

That's no more her fault than theirs. Body language and expressions are *essential* parts of being able to work out who is in what emotional state. We have completely disarmed women from saying anything other than "I'm so totally interested in sex right now". Result: an awful lot of frustration on the part of people who honestly do want sex, or might have been interested if the woman in front of them was genuinely offering it.

Instead, we have to rely on a man's capacity, after usually having raised him to feel entitled to everything and anything, not to mention entitled to the freedom of sexual expression (note: any freedom is the merely expression of power, after all)... We have to rely on his capacity to hold himself back, to not act upon that belief of entitlement, when the mirage fades away and it turns out the woman who's dressed, speaking, walking, talking, and even smiling like she's interested in sex with him: isn't.

We have to rely on him not being so engaged in sexual arousal, as we have taught him is his right to be at any moment in time of his chosing, as to miss the louder expressions of her face and body after he has approached her. That's a dangerous game to play. The woman has little control. He's facing a dilemma: well is she there for me like I'm led to believe all women are there for the taking? Or is this all some sick sort of fake-out?

If he gets angry, he may take what he wanted to begin with, even when he knows it is not offered willingly (her face will change, her body language will change, the tone of her voice and her words will suddenly shift, she may not look him in the eye except with fearful pleading). Perhaps he'll also deign it his right to punisher her, for the lie she is likely quite innocently, perpetuating.

[Really sad thing is I know all this, and use it. Result: very little in the way of sexual harassment levelled against me, and absolutely no guilt on my part, over my entire lifetime. Downside: the fact that I do this, and still experienced paedophiles, perverts, and general sexual harassment of various forms, goes to underline that misogyny and sexism definitely exist and that they are definitely problems (you can't blame women). I get different reactions depending on how I'm dressed especially when younger, AND I've still been sexually harassed, even when I have taken on a level of awareness about my body language, and facial expressions, and tone of voice, etc. that make it very, very clear (even if I'm dressed in a flattering way) that sex is NOT on my mind right there and then, and isn't being advertised. Nevertheless though, I do think I got *less* trouble, thanks to refusing to abide by conditioning placed upon me to walk, talk, move and smile 'like a woman'. ]

Then you've got the question of the aforementioned man getting into that highly charged state of sexual arousal. Low and behold: there are all the props that he's allowed to use (that any of us are allowed to use) in public.

Porn should be for your private space, and for anyone consenting to be with you (who is mentally capable of consenting to you - so not an infant, not someone who is severely learning disabled) and the various consequences us adults have to deal with regards to sexual activity of any kind. I say this primarily because we no longer live in forests, or wide open spaces, where nerry a person other than those who want to be around us at that particular time, would see what we got up to.

It's not just about your being sexually aroused after all: it's about who sees you being sexually aroused.

...Because mirror neurons are a thing: see someone get sliced, and the same parts of our brain light up as if we have been hurt. Hear or see someone enjoying sex? Same parts of our brains light up with activity. That's why children who are exposed to porn, are more likely to become sexually active at an earlier age, when other parts of their brain have yet to acquire the associated activity and information stored, to enable them to make adult choices about sex, have likely not developed yet.

Seeing a guy 'read' page three on a bus across from me, and his expression in the instant he looked up and met my eyes, and just for a fraction of a second, asked the question of himself: "is this where these feelings should be directed?" is the single-most stomach-wrenching experience I first remember from my childhood. I was probably only 7. I didn't even know what it meant. He said no words. But somehow, I knew, and I knew it wasn't right. It made me feel dirty, and it made me feel ill, and it made me feel endangered. When I was sexually assaulted age 8 in my own home: I recognised it.

That's enough to screw up your sex life for life, that is! LoL. Thankfully, I know how to re-programme my own associations so... now when my husband backs me up against a wall with a passionate kiss and and/or puts his hands anywhere between my thighs, I don't freeze. I don't have involuntary memories. I don't have to try to balance how I felt, with how I should be feeling: I cut the association and trained it to be specific. Next time a stranger or someone I don't consent to, thrusts me up against a wall in this way, I can suffer those problems, but that is now the only time I will. Of course, I've also tried to key in other reactions too, so that I am also primed for defence! LoL. But you know what I'm trying to say.

I completely agree with your ideas of widening the representation of porn. More body types. A more balanced representation of sex styles, sexualities, etc. Best kind of porn I can think of, actually, would be to make it open to consenting partners who really enjoy each other. Because you learn so much more from seeing people who either love each other, or at very least respectfully find each other extremely enjoyable (doesn't have to be a long-term thing, although time spent together usually allows for better sex since you learn more about one another! So I do think it's a factor)... than most of what the porn industry seems to produce. [which includes a lot of men and women with double incontinence by the time they hit their late 40s!]

It's just a newspaper is not the right place for porn. The time and place for sexual arousal prompts, is when you are alone, or with consenting adults or rather I should say at very least: a consenting audience. Even if not involved, other people have a right not to see you getting sexually aroused. Most of the time, in most of our lives, we need to be focused on tasks that have nothing to do with sex. What's more than that: we need not the confused associations that 'sex everywhere' promotes.

Page 3 stories highlights the dangers of 'using porn' in the wrong context - in public, in the presence of non-consenting observers of you using it.

So porn variety: great!
It just won't necessarily end the harm of 'promote sexual arousal everywhere' or... the harm of showing *a woman* being a sex object.

Sure it would have been great if Page 3 models included women whom I could identify with... But I'd still have walked away feeling like 'being sexy' was the most important thing I needed to be, because of my sex. And even if you introduced male models, and were just as fairly representative with them too... I think all you'd get is men and women both growing up with the notion that 'being sexy' was more important than any other task they might have to do. It's bad enough women wear high heels almost all the time (are they going to stop that thief as he runs off with that old lady's purse? are they going to dash into the building that just set on fire to save that small child or puppy? Are they ready to do dive into preventing this lad from being hospitalised by the one who's committing race-hate violence?)... We don't need men making themselves less functional too! LoL!

[If anyone wants to wear high heels at home for a surprise for their partner though, they are totally worth it as a sex prop!]

Although what you say about representation is just a great general rule. Just take out the *porn* aspect. After all, to be sexy, is not the golden rule it is made out to be. Sex is what you get to do when all other things more important are attended to, like eating, sleeping (well, usually!), breathing, being safe. These days that extends to many things - financial, physical, mental, emotional, your 'home' or having of one, how 'safe' your friends and family and work colleagues are ... There are many things that can 'break the mood' because 'the mood' isn't really something that should be there by default:

Sex is nothing more than an opportunity!
You should try never overlook it... [if it's really on offer, and if you're really quite safe etc. and happy with the person who's offering it, and you've checked any other responsibilities you have and those are fine too at the time, then for heaven's sake: what's stopping you?!]
But you shouldn't beat yourself up when you're not interested, or aren't being interesting because you've something more important to be doing.

Since sex only really involves nudity in one area by default (and even then, you may not actually see that when it's dark, or not 69ing, lol)... AND we spent most of our history developing naked, being naked has very little to do with sex. It's not like your bits have eyes if you're doing it face to face, lol...

I'd like to be able to walk around butt naked one day, have a polite conversation with a random stranger, do my shopping... and THEN wish I'd warn clothes only because "Gloves would really help with these heavy bags! Pavements are painful without footwear! And my ass stuck to the bus-seat when I got up because it's a hot day! Plus I've now got sunburn!"

My reasons for wearing clothes, shouldn't have anything to do with telling someone I DON'T want sex. Although, there's no harm in my opinion, in having clothes that turn my partner on either. It's just day to day: that's not what clothes, or how I carry myself, walk, talk, smile or otherwise exist, is about. It should be pretty clear the only reason someone stares at me getting off the bus naked with that heavy load is because...

1) I'm struggling - maybe they could offer to carry a bag?
2) I'm burning - that was silly of me on a hot day not to cover up!
3) I should've warn hand protection and planned better in advance
4) that butt-peal left on the bus is kinda gross!



Yes. Ending on a  happy note: THAT VIDEO IS AWESOME!
CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE?!
Yes. Mandatory education, all schools, worldwide. LoL!!

It does remind me a little of this one... (also awesome, more about body acceptance?!)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yu_FX…

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TaliDesade In reply to TreeWyrm [2018-04-21 02:55:50 +0000 UTC]

I think much of what you say still falls under poor education. Not just sex education, but education in general, learning how to treat people with respect. Learning to respect other human beings is a continuous process, it should start early and never stop. It seems that only elementary schools make any attempt at this. But it shouldn't stop there. If somebody respects themselves and others, they wont do those horrible things. I believe it really is that simple. But making that happen will take lots of time and effort.

If somebody gets an uncontrollable urge just by looking a bikini girl's photo, there is something wrong there, and that started long before they ever entered the store. What happens if they see an actual girl in a bikini? Taking away the page 3 girl would do nothing to fix that problem. In fact, I think I could even backfire, as this could potentially serve to further stigmatize girls. Trying to hide things has a tendency to backfire, as you know, kids often find ways around things, and in doing so might find something much worse. Kids are going to seek stuff out, holy cow, I did all sorts of stuff that today I would be madly embarrassed about. Thanks to the internet, and parents that didn't watch me much, I stumbled across all sorts of things at an early age. I also played games, and very violent ones, too. But the monkey here didn't do what the monkey saw. I didn't commit the sex acts I saw online IRL, and I have never once been in a physical fight. Shouting, oh yes, done some of that, but not a whole lot. Honestly, I'm not sure where I got that from. My parents didn't really do much. I did witness them arguing, and it got terrible. They took it out me sometimes, too, which led me to vow not to become like my parents.

I did fall into the wrong crowd for a time, but they weren't that bad. I did some my share of drugs, and other things. Somehow I avoided the law, and stayed out trouble, probably as I didn't get into confrontations. It was strange. Even when I was high out of my mind I was often the one to keep the group level headed and out of trouble, and kept drama from happening. When I wasn't around, they'd get into trouble. Eventually time passed, and I moved. That was a really good thing. However, I don't look back at that as lost time. I still learned a lot of life lessons in this era.

At any rate, I find that trying to place much blame on any media as fruitless. There are certainly problems, and I would not want kids to grow up on just what they see in media. But again, that kicks back to education. I think I had some nice teachers in school, who did pretty well in encouraging me. Perhaps that is how I stayed out of trouble. Interestingly, I became friends with people who became teachers, and for a time I entertained the idea of becoming one myself. So I see some of the stuff they do as teachers, which forms much of how I feel about education in general. I feel very strongly that we need to focus much more on teaching kids to be more critical thinkers, and if they just stop to think for a moment, even just a moment, they can think rationally about how they treat others and see themselves.

Its even more important today with social media than ever. Social media can be a great thing, but it can also be a very bad thing. When people troll online, and I'm talking about the vicious trolls who only antagonize others, I believe they are showing their true nature. I think the internet brings out the real person behind the keyboard. If you act like a troll, even if you claim to be pretending to do it for fun, I think that just shows who you really are. The anonymous nature of the net allows people to take off their public mask and be whoever they want to be. And that leads to bullying and other horrible things. So we need to educate kids on respect early so they hopefully wont be prone to be like that online.

To toss something else in, this year marks the 50th anniversary of Mr Rogers' Neighborhood. That man was truly special. I did not watch much as a kid, but his message was wonderful, and the way he could find positive in any situation is something to be admired. I sure do wish we had his voice today. His dedication to children's education was truly beautiful. I think if we had more people like him, the world would be a better place today.

That's an interesting video. I think I may have come across it or something similar in my travels. I enjoy the silly side of Japanese culture with anime and games. I dream of visiting it one day. (Key word...dream.) So its all good.

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TreeWyrm In reply to TaliDesade [2018-05-01 17:14:59 +0000 UTC]

Oh yes... education is immensely important. Here in the UK, we actually had the opportunity to make 'relationship education' mandatory a few years back. We didn't. Of course. Which just goes to show how must disrespect there is, especially of the people who might have the greatest reduction to harm done to them.

No regards the media, my point was purely a biological/evolutionary psychological one: mirror neurons are fascinating things. I see someone else have a piano drop on them, for a moment I'll wince as if pain has been inflicted upon me, and the shock is just as real as if it had. If you took a snapshot of my brain's activity in that instant, and of the victim's, our brains would light up in the same regions... Because empathy isn't just something you have to *think* about - it's hardwired down to the neurological level for us to 'try on' emotional states of others, as we read them by their body languages and expressions, and by the setting of circumstances around them that lend us other context our brains use to think outside the box that is 'just me'.

So... When someone has a sexy thought? I read it as clearly as they 'read' the sexily posed person (real or on paper) that sparked it. In fact, that's what makes porn porn: it isn't the nudity, it isn't that it's the right gender or physical build etc. that you like... it's that the people involved are expressing an emotional state. It's pretty hard to stare with lust at a camera in a photoshoot, but somehow some models do manage it! LoL. The arousal they evoke in their viewers, isn't fake: it's absolutely hardwired.

If they looked grouchy and irritable or like they were in pain, their being naked, their attire... well it just doesn't have the same effect as when someone is posed in an inviting way, asking you with their body language to participate in mirroring how they are feeling: horny!

Working out who you should pay attention to enough to want to date or sleep with, should actually be a very easy game, if only we listened and adhered to these instincts. Basically, 'wanting' is reciprocal and sympathetic and it builds like harmonic resonance. She likes him, he likes her, if they see that in each other, it just amplifies as it echoes across the flash of eyes as they meet.

How do you know someone is special?

They spark your attention even when it's completely out of context. If we eliminate sexualisation out of context, then a job is a job, and travel is about the destination and what you're instinctively musing upon during the journey, and a task is a task. When your mind is on task, but it gets de-railed when someone walks in the room? THAT is someone you should pay attention to. You need to understand what it is about them, that just did that.

Maybe they're not the fully completed ideal you're looking for (to match your genes, or your demeanor, or your personal skills) but... clearly there's something that grabs your attention. There may be more, or maybe it's just one detail - a crush is just that process of identification gone wrong where instead of building a functional fantasy that tells you who you're looking for in an abstract pattern-match role, you build a fantasy that serves no purpose but to claim itself as the deal you should chase.

So I was just saying that take biology into account, and sex should stay where sex is permissible at the time, children must be assumed to gain access to materials relating to it so we should take responsibility in what we indulge in in that regard, and that if we do these things, it will go a long way to aiding us once we have that all important education you so rightly underline. Because you can lead a horse to water, but if it has been conditioned to flee from it, or else to stop in it until it's so muddy it may as well be poison to it, well... Horse is either going to refuse to drink, or get sick after.

You need to tackle environmental exposure in all aspects, in order to narrow (and set going in a useful direction) the path of learning each individual must take to becoming a useful, functional adult.

You know, you led an interesting life. I can see parallels with my own in some ways. I never fell in with the 'wrong crowd' but I've experienced that dreadful revelation of 'being drunk' or otherwise 'should be in a state of irresponsibility' and still ending up realising: I was pretty much still responsible self, just with slightly slower reactions, worse sense of tonality in singing, slightly impaired eyesight, hearing and touch, and lesser competence in motor control of my own limbs and digits. All in all, being 'high' or 'drunk' just means I'm less capable. Unfortunately, not any less responsible though!

I think your parent's neglect and arguing probably played a huge role in that. I share that background: arguing parents, who also somewhat took it out on me. When your parents squabble, as a child you follow instinct: find a way to be amenable, or otherwise engage any parts of your brain you've developed towards problem-solving.

Now, some of us turn into escape artists. Some of us turn into evasion experts. Some of us turn into practical problem-solvers... and some of us turn into mediators. Some of us act out what we've seen, in mirror fashion, to try to see if that fixes the issue (if you can't beat them, join them, or copy them so that you can beat them later and avoid vulnerability in future). Me, you... probably more along the lines of mediators: we are now quite naturally adept at resolving conflicts of interest. We've had rather too much practice.

What's important to learn from counselling though, is the aspect that my counsellor taught me in this: children evolve out of need. They need shelter. They need food. They also need interaction and company. They will do, in very cold calculated fashion, whatever is required to maintain these things, from a position of vulnerability. They may learn to endear themselves as victims to their bullies, they may learn to fight back and be the bully themselves one day, they may become talented at many things as you and I have.

BUT... end of the day: we were simply doing emotional maths:

"I need you, but you're pre-occupied/unpleasant to approach." Followed by our attempts to fit solutions to that problem.

I thought I was a real problem solver when aged 4, having heard the word discussed and vaguely understood some of the contexts of words mentioned with it, I promptly and cheerfully suggested to my parents when next they argued that they get 'a divorce'. I thought I was being helpful! LoL! They didn't take it that way...

It sounds like you, like me, had to grow up fast. Too fast. The people otherwise responsible for meeting your needs, were unreliable, so your brain accelerated its growth in developing the areas that enabled you to find ways to become increasingly self-sufficient. Physically, that took time. Obviously you can't get a job aged 7 either! BUT... emotionally, whilst it may not be healthy the many ways a child may cope and do this, emotionally... you can find ways to survive neglect, and even abuse. Sometimes - and I think being smart helps this - you can twist these coping mechanisms into strengths you then hone.

However, what counselling offered me, was insight into understanding that this came at a price, and that it wasn't mine to pay. It's OK to be mad about that. It's OK to draw lines too, so you don't have to submit to that again. However it can also make you prickly (unduly) towards others who trigger similar responses without similar intents, and it takes time to unravel just how much you may not have been a part of the story you consider your own. Not even when thinking about one's own relatively solo-development... it was never 'solo'. Biology and environmental contexts apply even where active and conscious involvement of adults did not.

You and I learned an immense level of self control. However, we bear a burden of loneliness as a result that not many people can understand. We know on some level that a lot of people simply do not 'get' us. What lends us strength though, is understanding where it comes from, the choices that were not really choices that we made, but... that on reflection, perhaps overall we would wish to stand by. Because the wealth of our experiences have made us who we are, and we have some value to offer in that. So long as we remember to respect who we are - as you say: respect ourselves for all of what we are, and where we came from, and why, and how... We will find peace in ourselves, when we need to.

Oh by the way I agree on the trolls too: it's what a person wants to be inside that shows. So I always come across as infinitely wise and serene. (!) ... ROFL!!!!!!!! Or not. When I'm having a bad day. Or just when I'm sleepy-typing bullshit!



Although I would note that even a troll is made, not born. For the most part anyway. There are studies that show that certain genes are more common amongst prison inmates than in the larger populations from whence they came, however there are still yet productive, and sometimes rather notably good people, who share those same genes (who knows: maybe in the same mixes?) out in the world doing good. It really does matter what context in which we apply ourselves, and... what environmental exposure (education, upbringing, peer pressure, books/TV/film/games/magazines/advertising) we have received and in what order, when, in what combinations and doses etc.

There are many different types of trolls. Some are people for whom nobody spared time in the real world. Trolling is their way of getting the attention they did not/do not receive in the real world. They have stacked up an alignment of behaviours that make it difficult for people to give them better quality attention than hate or irritation, so they resort to those comfort zones when they feel alone.

Other trolls are truly spirited individuals with great leadership capability... and a complete failure of anyone to have recognised it and pointed it into anything useful before it turned to toxic bullying.

Some simply lacked the provision of lines of logic for why what they want is NOT what they really want. They get stuck forever just trying to find a way around the rules. They do not understand the spirit of the law, only the letter of the law, so they are solely focused on ways out, ways around, and short-cuts. Hurting someone, is always a short-cut, even if it is inevitably short-sighted.

That said, for someone who is capable of being a sociopath like myself, 'a taste of my own medicine' is somewhat crucial for me to develop into a better person. Do to me what I was trying out being on someone else, and I will not like it. Tell me that if that is the only way I will learn not to do it, then that is what I will receive. If I am able to disconnect the natural tendency to mentally empathise with others (which is a great skill by the way, in certain contexts), then unfortunately I must learn to make that connection in other ways, to understand why it is there in the first place, to understand its use, and also my role in society.

...So that I learn that to be calm in tragedy and thinking, is a powerful thing, but therefore also a power that will be abused by default unless I learn to plan and think how to apply it. And abuse is something I understand, when I experience it first hand. "Oh... NOW I understand why you were so upset... since I've gone through something similar." - and so I learned then to widen, and widen that net of "what is like what" until I was actually able to empathise.

Nowadays, I'm a very, very emotionally sensitive person. I sense pain easily (I may have overcompensated!) in others, but I still retain the ability to cut it off, when an emergency arises and a crisis needs critical thinking. Now instead of my critical thinking dismantling my ability to empathise, my ability to empathise triggers my critical thinking. Well... at least that's what I aim for. I am still human. I do still make mistakes.

Although I recognise that unfortunately being this mentally capable (as mentally capable as I suspect you are too) of self-control and modification, means that even the tiniest mistake or oversight on my part, has far-reaching ramifications. And even when other people are guilty of the same, at least they don't know it and so never have to own it, not like you and I do.

I have only recently learned of this 'Mr Rogers' you speak of. Interestingly, I would say that I had a  very similar role model, except mine was a head teacher of my primary school. My christian primary school, it turns out, had a gay man as it's head teacher. A wonderful man, who picked the very best bits of the bible to share with us in assembly time, and would pick all sorts of musical wonders (often classical, or film) and play them for us as we entered and exited, and talk about those pieces and where they came from, their stories and motivations.

He even offered criticisms of some stories, or others, or acknowledged difficult questions. He also made a point of our learning about the stories and celebrations of other religions. I think we had one asian kid in our year group, out of maybe 60 kids. About as many in the whole school. Yet we learned, in really intense detail, the story behind Diwali (I wish I could remember it now). He was so terribly fair and honest. He was everything I wished I could be, I wished my dad could be, and I think later: what I wanted to find in a partner.

When you see 'correct'... you know it through and through. This Mr Rogers person, sounds the same: he was good, and you just know that through and through. A very rare example where the person concerned wasn't simply a good actor, or reading the lines of a visionary and good writer.

Nothing can beat a good role model for teaching you all the things you say we lack in education. I think part of the problem is, that those people very rarely get to express those qualities and talents. They are the people with great brains that didn't go into research because the hours would have crippled their relationships with spouses or children, who didn't become CEOs because they disapproved of the wage gaps and never sought advancements - who dared to try to be content with what they had, when perhaps ambition would have taken them upwards.

I think today, it is very had for such people to be acknowledged or given meaningful work. They will never do a job as fast as a person who cuts corners. They will never do the long hours for pay - even if they are poor they value their time and balance the cost of living in poverty with the need to love. They will never suck up, but always tend to calmly and quietly speak reason. If they do shout, nobody listens, because they do not shout all the time and although children will pay attention when a quiet adult shouts, adults learn to listen only to the continuously loud amongst them. I don't know how much of that is learned, or how much is an instinct based on the assumption that by the time we reach adulthood, we have between us figured out already who should be most listened too, or how not to shout all the time at least, so that when one of us sounds alarm, all of us listen!

...And I'm rambling again. Sorry. Just moved house. I'm more scatter-brained than normal!

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TaliDesade In reply to TreeWyrm [2018-05-02 05:09:47 +0000 UTC]

I tend to ramble a lot, if I catch myself, there are times when I have deleted half my post before hitting submit, LOL. I also have some remnants of ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, that I was diagnosed with, which doesn't help. I was so wired as a kid it wasn't funny. (Well, sometimes it was.) I ran circles around everybody, literally. When the class ran in the gym, I lapped everybody several times. I got bored real easy, and was a bit a problem at times. I ended up in the special kids class, mainly because teachers couldn't keep my attention. This was like 1st or 2nd grade. At the time, I was wondering why everything in that class was so easy, LOL. Anyway I eventually got to normal classes again.
Its funny because getting video games actually helped me. I could laser focus on them, so something could keep my attention. I learned to use this for other things. Video games formed a big part of my childhood from then on, they provided escape. I needed it. It seemed like there were few kids in the neighborhood, I was the only child, and my parents constantly argued about their bills. So gaming it was! You could still rent video games back then, and that rental store was like heaven. I could save the world from alien invasions, or be a star, whatever. You have no idea how many princesses I saved, or how many times I saved the entire Earth! I saved the President a lot, too, because I was a Bad Dude.
youtu.be/2evKkHi_qmo
Ah the 90's.

And see, I'm rambling, too, LOL.

If you watch only one video on Mr Rogers, watch his testimony to US Congress. Why was he testifying? Because Congress was looking at whether they should fund this new concept of public television. These are cranky old politicians he is talking to here. And watch how they melt in front of him. And it is easy to see why, you can just feel the warmth and sincerity in his voice, and his words are so powerful. He was real. It wasn't an act, he was really like this. I am not an emotional person, but this video manages to give me goosebumps and when he says "I like you just the way you are", it brings a tear to my eye. Its not just the words, its how he says it so beautifully, and it really makes me wish he was around today.
Mr Rogers preached this everyday. He was a faithful Christian, but he never preached gospel on the show because he didn't want to isolate any kids who didn't come from Christian families, that's how strongly he felt about this. Though evangelicals would sometimes write to him asking him to condemn homosexuality, Rogers never would, instead saying he — and God — loved everyone just as they were.

youtu.be/fKy7ljRr0AA

And by coincidence, this testimony was on May 1, 1969, so it turned 49 yesterday!

But, anyway, as I was saying, education overcomes impulsive actions. If you are an angry tempered person, you need to learn to control that anger. If you are a sexually charged person, the same applies. I was wildly hyper, and I had to learn to control that, or I wouldn't have been able to work in society. Childhoods are largely spent learning to control impulses, to stop the kids from crying in the grocery store, to stop kids from doing this or that. Self control is a part of growth, or we would all be axe murderers. Or something.

I should stop, or I will start rambling again.

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TreeWyrm In reply to TaliDesade [2018-05-09 10:58:57 +0000 UTC]

That's really interesting - that gaming helped you learn *how* to maintain tight focus, or as other people would see it: learned to focus at all. I will have to remember that perspective. ADHD is one of those probable conditions a kid we might adopt could have. We do both already love computer games, but I hadn't considered that merit before (just hadn't ever set aside a moment to think on it, but with your mentioning it, it really does make sense).

I think I may have seen that video or one of them. Indeed he seems to have been genuine. World needs more people like that.

I really love that he didn't preach his own personal religion. I think that is so important, and to be honest, nothing compels a person to join a religion than learning, after the fact, that someone they've worked out is an incredibly decent human being... apparently also follows a religion. You might ask what made them the way they were, obviously, and if they are religious, wouldn't you wonder if that was part of it?

Rather than yelling at people and forcing them to adopt a religion, I think inspiring people is a far better method.

I'm not religious myself. Never really found a model that fit my ingrained ideals 100% and have always tended to follow my own path in the belief that whether there is a god or not is quite irrelevant, because if there were a god and they were all everyone claims (cares for their 'children') then they would want their children to grow, and being responsible for the consequences of decisions (learning how to make decisions and take responsibility) is part of good parenting. From the perspective of a god, people's actions show best who they are, and most what they are capable of and how they will direct that capability, when they are unsure as to whether a god is watching or watching over them.

Faith carries people when nothing else possibly can.
Doing the right thing because it was the right thing, and not because of some promise of heaven or threat of hell, is the flip side.

Believe without reservation that you will be looked after, that there is a higher power, and you may be tempted to not take responsibility where you could, to recognise that you do have power, and that if you don't acknowledge it you will almost certainly abuse it through ignorance.

Believe without reservation that there is absolutely no god, and you will potentially damn the consequences in your selfish pursuit to 'live like there's no afterlife' whilst in the midst of crisis, with absolutely no other help to turn to: self-destruct through isolation and perception of helplessness.

People must find their own path. It is not for me to say whether their belief is right or wrong, except if it harms me, or if I recognise harm done to someone or something else (e.g. the general sustainable grand scheme of things). Even then though, I recognise components do not always sum the whole so... It probably isn't 'that religion' that is faulty, or evil, or wrong. It'll just be one part, that sets in motion a train of thought that ends in a bad place. All it takes is one single error. That doesn't make the religion any worse than following none, now does it?

Ah. Self-control. My strongest, and closest ally. You speak to the converted on that matter!

Although, it is also something not to be taken for granted. Indeed we can (and really, really should) learn to do it to the  best of our abilities... Alas though: not everyone has the capacity for it as well as they should. We should be the best that we can be regards self-control, in order to minimise the application of means to balance those people who do not have it.

There are very, very few people born with any genetic predisposition towards violence, theft, lying and other anti-social behaviours. Although, it is important to accept that some of us definitely may find it harder to take other paths than others might, away from those things. There are also some occasions where for whatever reason, (very rare!) a brain just doesn't work correctly.

Self-control is redundant unless you know what you're doing it. It's human nature to break rules you don't understand (eventually most humans will break a rule they do not understand, if only in an attempt to understand it), and sometimes education can't provide that meaning. Education is irrelevant if the teacher can't speak what must be learned in a language you can understand, fails to use tools that would help you understand, or... if your brain simply cannot assimilate that information at a base level.

It's been a great pleasure talking to you.
I wish you well in your artistic endeavours and elsewhere!

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TaliDesade In reply to FleetAdmiral01 [2018-01-01 04:06:04 +0000 UTC]

I'm happy you like it!

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FleetAdmiral01 In reply to TaliDesade [2018-01-01 04:08:21 +0000 UTC]

I used Facegen artist to make mine. While it turned out pretty close in terms of accuracy, it was far from perfect but yours is spot on.

Had the same issue with Elizabeth (Bioshock Infinite).

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TaliDesade In reply to FleetAdmiral01 [2018-01-01 06:41:20 +0000 UTC]

I used FaceGen to get a head start. I cleaned up the textures it gave me as some things were rough and her freckles were too light.
I used a XNALara model of Shepard to get the exact shots FG needs, that helped a ton. I could remove the hair, and control the lighting. And getting a second pic for a side profile helps a lot.
I have noticed that camera distance of the source pic makes a big difference. If the camera is too close it can warp the face a bit.

I made a version of the Illusive Man, too, but never uploaded it. I wasn't super happy with it. I might try again now that I got more experience.
I'm going to try importing the XNA model into Daz and NGS2 shaders on the skin. And then render profile pics to run through FaceGen. I believe that will get a better result.

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FleetAdmiral01 In reply to TaliDesade [2018-01-01 06:58:48 +0000 UTC]

I mainly wanted FaceGen so I could recreate the Star Trek characters since I can't find high poly models of them anywhere. 

You know what, that camera distance, I think I've made that observation too, when I was attempting to recreate my player character in Star Trek Online. Had the camera (that game can do free camera movement in the engine), right up against the character's face, and that warped the shape of her nose apparently.

Janet Fixed Hair and WIP Face Rig

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TaliDesade In reply to FleetAdmiral01 [2018-01-01 19:02:23 +0000 UTC]

Did you find the Trek threads in the Daz forums? Lots of links to stuff in those.

Also, since you have FaceGen, I found a little place that may be of use to you.
www.relativitybook.com/CoolStu…
There's a number of Trek faces there.

At the bottom of that page they have the FG files themselves. So just load them into FaceGen and you can tweak them and export them into Daz.

FaceGen has been around for a long time. Though the "Artist" version that exports to Daz is not as old, it still uses the same old .fg file format. So if you can find any places that host those files, you have a new collection of faces to play with!

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FleetAdmiral01 In reply to TaliDesade [2018-01-01 19:44:09 +0000 UTC]

I saw that DAZ studio folder. The issue is I've noticed a lot of those assets are intended for M4 and V4. Which is fine because I do still have those characters, but I've been unsuccessful at getting them to work on G2 which is the one of preference for me. 

That facegen link, I book marked it too. 

I have both versions of Facegen, Artist and Modeler. Yes I was able to afford the 2nd one. I merely use DAZ as a character creator and bring those files over to MAYA since that's where I do most of my 3D work. And the vast majority of the models I have were brought over from games. 

Most of those models were in like 15 different formats but I was able to convert most of them to FBX for use in MAYA and DAZ but there is one format that is proving to be a thorn in my side. Lightwave 3D (.lwo -object and .lws -scene). I'm hoping the new copy of Poser I'm getting this week can import Lightwave files but none of the other software I have have been able to import it for the FBX conversion. Rendering use of a large number of ship models I picked up from a site called Foundation 3D almost useless at the moment.

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TaliDesade In reply to FleetAdmiral01 [2018-01-01 20:54:10 +0000 UTC]

You need certain items to get V4/M4 textures on G2.
For female, you first need Victoria 4 for Genesis 2, which allows G2F to 'wear' the V4 skin and adds the V4 UV selection to G2 (under the surface tab for each surface.)
You could manually apply the textures, and then select the V4 UV in the surface tab.
Or you could use the Batch Convert V4 to Genesis 2 skin converter. This converter is wonderfully convenient. I have a folder in my Genesis 2 folder for all these conversions. It adds a duf for every option the original V4 has, so all the makeup options, any tattoo options, all of these will be there.

Unfortunately you need to have both of these for both sexes, which is an investment.
But if you are happy with the skins you already have from FaceGen, then you can ignore that.

For shapes, GenX is the go to. There is also a converter here on DA, but only for female.

If you hunt you might find Werts celebrity shapes, which are pretty amazing. The trouble is they function differently from regular morphs, and GenX had trouble with them. I cannot remember the trick I used to make it work, but it is possible to do it. It involved converting the vertices or something, then GenX could see it.
Also, if certain file structures are not correct in your runtime then GenX might not be able to find the morphs. It seems to be picky.

I have a lot of characters that I transfered to G2.

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FleetAdmiral01 In reply to TaliDesade [2018-01-01 21:01:32 +0000 UTC]

I'll bare that in mind. Thanks.

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TaliDesade In reply to PsiDeschain [2017-11-30 04:36:59 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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TaliDesade In reply to parasura [2017-11-20 23:18:46 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

Yeah, the eyes aren't what I wanted, so they are sort of place holders. Most users should have some better eye textures in their runtime to swap with these.

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parasura In reply to TaliDesade [2017-11-22 13:45:30 +0000 UTC]

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TaliDesade In reply to parasura [2017-11-23 01:45:10 +0000 UTC]

Oh that is really nice! If only the game looked like that! That hair works good on her, too.

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