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Coupling Index; (note: "Alex" refers to Alex mercer from the game prototype)

1. Ezio/Leonardo

2. Alex/Desmond/Shaun

3. Kadar/Altaïr/Malik

4. Kadar/Desmond/Shaun Alex/Malik Ezio/Rebecca Lucy/Leonardo/Altair

1.  Dear Vienna

A cold breeze traveled into the dimly lit room flowing in through the open window that had been carelessly left open the previous night. An event that was commonplace considering Ezio's apparent hatred of using the front door. Regretfully Leonardo rose from his bed to shut it. Being careful to not trip over the stray pieces of metal and cloth strewn about the room. That when put together made the outfit of the infamous assassin of Venezia.

As he shut the window a memory sparked in the back of his mind. It was of something that Ezio's mother had told him back before all these horrible events had begun. on one of her more informal tangents Maria had let it slip to him that removing her husband's armour and robes was a delicate and exact science and required lots of practice.

At the time Leonardo couldn't have imagined that one day he would come to know the art of removing the Auditore robes so well and learn how true the mother's words were.

There were few people on earth that knew exactly how complicated the outfit was. The group mostly consisting of Ezio, himself, his mother and perhaps the tailor who was responsible for the constant color changes the robes received.

As he thought more about it Leonardo began mulling over his philosophy about Ezio's armour. You see recently the artist had been considering that the layers of robes in Ezio's outfit were symbolic of the layers of emotion he cloaked himself in.

For example the first layer was Ezio's armour which was the hardest to remove, especially the breastplate. This cold hard metal was the first line of defence and it kept the more variable parts of Ezio safe. The same was true about what it represented.

There were many harsh realities to Ezio's occupation and although he had never done it himself Leonardo knew that taking a life was never easy and if one didn't throw up such protective plates the person in question would go mad. So Ezio's heart, soul, and his vary sense of humanity and decency had to be covered in such thick plates. To make sure they thrived even when his sleeves were soaked with blood and crying children clung to their mother's. With screams of "assassino" and "monster" filling the air because in the battlefield even a flicker of pity or remorse could cost you dearly.

Then the second layer, the robes.  They were simply magnificent, made out of rich lightweight material that was loosely woven as to prevent over heating when under constant physical strain.
The outer coat consisted of three tiers of material that were open in the middle so when he walked it flourished about magnificently, like the tail of an exotic bird.

The hems were decorated with finite detailing in silver and gold that must have taken years to weave in such an intricate pattern. But despite the garments grandeur Leonardo was able to look past it and see the outfit for what it truly was.

If Ezio was a peacock then the robe would be his feathers. They were the swagger in his step, the flourish in his swordplay, the flaunt in his flirting. Everything Ezio did he did with his own sense of grandeur and finesse that Leonardo felt perfectly mirrored the elegance of the exquisite assassin robes.

That's why it was so gratifying to Leo when he managed to remove the flashy display. Stripping Ezio back to his lose fitting white shirt and tights. Dressed just like he used to before he dedicated his life to the blade.

Leonardo knew that underneath the armour and flare thare was an ordinary man. One who loved, lost, cared and cried. One that liked to be kissed just under his left ear and was always too stubborn to admit he needed a hug when he obviously did.

Then finally the last layer when Leonardo would get his reward for taking the time to remove all of Ezio's complex layers. That lovely moment in time when he broke Ezio back down to what he was born with and thare was nothing left to hide.

A sleepy question of "what are you doing Leonardo?" finally broke the trance the artiste had slipped into and made him realize that he had been standing pointlessly by the window. Fingers just resting lightly on the wooden frame for almost an hour.

"Nothing il mio amore, just thinking." Leonardo answered returning to bed and sliding back under the covers. Ezio's scarred lips formed a confused pout. "Are you sure? Is something bothering you?"

"It was truly nothing, now go back to bed Ezio. Even assasino need their beauty sleep." The artist chided. Ezio's pout wavered and died his hand moving under the covers until it found the inventors. Ezio nodded as he Laced his fingers into Leonardo's and closed his eyes,  but he only remained quiet for a moment before he said "hey Leonardo?"

"Yes?" the painter answered patiently settling back against the pillows. "If sleep truly is what makes you beautiful, I'm surprised I ever see you awake."  Leo smiled and shook his head. "You're as sweet as sugar coated honey Ezio, but didn't you promise me you would sleep?" the assassin murmured an apology and fell silent once more.

Eventually Leonardo allowed himself to slump back down as well concluding that his painting could wait a few more hours. Carefully he moved his right hand which was still intertwined with Ezio's till it was resting on his heart.

2.  Three's a crowd

Desmond miles knew what had happened even before he opened his eyes. It was all too familiar. The soft violated aching in his abdomen, the constant throbbing from the numerous bruises that dotted around his neck, shoulders, and inner thighs.  Most of all the sickly sweet drug-like taste the many tentacles of the BLACKLIGHT virus always left in his mouth.

So it was no surprise to him when he opened his eyes and the warm object he was resting against turned out to be the muscular chest of Dr. Alex J. mercer. The good doctor in question was still out cold. His head latent against the pillows, left arm keeping up a dull but firm hold around Desmond's back in his sleep.

However what did surprise him was that when he looked across the pectoral muscles of the superhuman he was pressed flush against, he discovered that Alex's right arm was similarly employed to his left, clutching the lithe naked body of a young British man. Who for some utterly contrived reason was still wearing his glasses despite the fact they had been knocked askew and were nearly falling off.

"Shaun?" Desmond questioned, pushing himself up a little to get a clear look at what he was almost sure was the brit over the asleep virus. The man to the monster's right opened one eye and stared up at him rather crossly "it's too early Desmond, go back to sleep you pillock..." he grumbled letting his head loll back against Alex again. That was Shaun aright, Desmond considered following the suggestion but established that the curiosity was worth bugging Shaun a little more.

"What did we do last night?" Desmond asked, his question unintentionally having the air of the teenage stoner about it. Shaun smirked against Alex's skin and rolled over onto his back before commenting "still a little fuzzy from last night eh des? I don't blame you.  After how hard I fucked your brains out I can imagine it would be hard to remember." Desmond was taken aback, up until this point he hadn't even consider that the pain in his backside had been caused by something other than Alex's many, many, many, many, tentacles.

"You-" Desmond begun but was interrupted by a third groan that came from the man Desmond and Shaun had been talking over.  Two glowing blue eyes opened and looked down at them. "Stop bickering my little darlings, daddy loves you both equally" he smirked tightening his hold around their hips.

"Desmond was just having a little trouble recalling last night's activities" Shaun explained. "That's a pity... maybe we should try to help remind him?" Alex suggested his evil grin widening by a few unnaturally sharp teeth.  Shaun frowned tiredly "I'm much too knackered for another go but by all means you should try.  Hearing his lovely moans will help me sleep." Alex nodded and released Shaun rolling on top of the startled Desmond before he could speak a word of opposition. Shaun turned on his side back to his two other lovers falling back asleep to Desmond's strained cries for more.

3.  In the Eagle's Nest

The morning sun was just rising over the port city of Acre. Its beams of light reflecting across the water and creating a gorgeous sight as it seemed to rise out of the waters depths as it crossed the horizon.  From the top of a tower that connected the formidable stone walls that lined the city a young assassin watched the display, breath caught in his throat as he took in the stoic elegance of the European city.

Lying just to his side his brother stirred in his sleep.  Rolling over and placing the crook of his left arm over his eyes in an attempt to block out the intruding sunlight. For a moment Kadar wondered if he should take advantage of the momentary regain of consciousness and show his brother the sunrise.

But in the end he decided against it. Judging by the groaning he had not had a very comfortable night and the novice knew it was far better to let a tired and grumpy Malik lie. So Kadar just leaned back against the soft pile of hay that had served as his bed and enjoyed the view alone.

It took another full hour of tossing and turning before Malik gave up on sleep, sat back up, and stretched. Kadar bit back his good morning when he heard the colourful swearing as his brother's spine cracked painfully back into place.

Kadar felt a pang of empathy for his kin and smiled apologetically at him. Having sex in a pile of hay had all sorts of complications and Malik always seemed to get the worst of it. Malik got shakily to his feet and flexed his arms trying to work out a few of the kinks before turning around to start the laborious process of digging his bracer and weapons out of the straw.

"I don't know why Altair always insists we do "it" on a tower in a nest of hay like fucking birds" Malik muttered as he pulled a sheathed sword out from under the hay. Kadar opened his mouth but his brother read his mind and stopped him. "I am very aware of the meaning of his name, but just because he is named after a bird doesn't mean he has to act like one"

"I act like what exactly?"  Kadar started and turned round to see the man they had been discussing perched on the tower wall. Malik was unfazed by the sudden appearance. "Well what do you know? The eagle returned to his nest. Where were you?"

"I was out gathering information" Altair explained stepping down from the edge. "I thought the magnificent Altair was above information gathering" Malik observed locating his hidden blade gantlet and pulling it over his left wrist.

"Normally yes, but it passes the time while I'm waiting for my mates to recover from my talents." Altair smirked before strutting over to the hay bale and flopping down onto it next to Kadar.

"You still look a little worn out yourself Malik. Perhaps you should take a lesson from Kadar? He can take it all night and still be asking for more in the morning."  Altair smirked slipping an arm round the novice's middle, pulling the object of his lust closer. Kadar blushed beet red and this statement. Malik went red too but for an entirely different reason.

"Did you just call my brother a whore?" he growled his tone low and menacing. His hidden blade making a soft 'shicccnk' sound at it slid out of its holster. The four remaining fingers on his hand forming an angry fist. The deadly blade sitting in place of the ring finger.

Kadar's lips quavered a bit in worry but Altair didn't so much as blink. "Whore is such a strong word, I prefer slut" he remarked.  Malik's facial expression didn't change but if you looked closely you could see his fist and body tighten in rage. "I don't see why you're getting so upset about it." Altair announced before Malik could reply to his previous comment.

"You don't mind being called a slut do you Kadar?" Altair asserted his hand slipping from the novice's hip down under the waistband of his pants. Kadar gasped and leaned into the touch. "In fact I would say you enjoy it."  Altair added. Kadar moaned, unwittingly affirming the elder assassin's statement.

Malik just stood thare for a moment stuck somewhere between the feelings of anger and desire. On the one hand He had to defend his brother's honour. On the other thare was the way that Altair was making his adorable kin spread his legs.

Malik pushed the arrant feeling of desire aside and repeated the master assassin's name trying to draw the attention back to him. Altair looked up almost surprised that Malik was still sticking offence to his words.

Altair shifted the willing body in his arms so he was holding the flushed Kadar in his lap. His knees locked under the back of the novice's holding the younger's legs open.  Leaving his hands free to feel and grope.

"You are mistaking my meaning brother. I did not mean it to be an insult, more a term of endearment" Altair explained.  "Then we must not be speaking the same language because I'm sure that it is an insulting term" Malik retorted.

Altair sighed impatient to get this over with. Then an idea entered his mind. He looked up at Malik his eyes flashing gold briefly as he rolled the situation over in his head once more before acting.

He caught the other man's attention and motioned for him to come closer, strangely Malik obeyed. If asked about it later he would attribute the odd show of obedience to the purposeful look in Altair's eyes. The one that always indicated he had something in mind.  Indeed true to his premonition as soon as he was in range Altair reached out to take hold of the elder brother's wrist. Guiding the hand down till the palm was resting flat on the front of Kadar's pants.

It would be fair to say that Malik was startled by the turn of events.  You see despite the fact that he and his brother were often in sexual situations together, he had tried to refrain from interacting directly with Kadar. Mostly to dull the sense of taboo that came from the arrangement. For Malik the perception of their relationship had been more that the two brothers shared Altair and less that they were a real threesome.

It was because of this assumption that Malik felt awkward touching Kadar like this, but despite his unease Malik could feel the heavy pulse of his kin's heart through the thin material and found that he couldn't make himself pull his hand away.

Altair smiled smugly manipulating Malik's hand by the wrist in just such a way that it drew a languished sound from Kadar. Then as he released Malik's he said "hold still, I'm sure you'll loosen up if you can feel just how much your brother likes being called that." Malik was left unsure of what Altair was on about but had no intension of disobeying.

Altair leaned down nipping at Kadar's shoulder blades gently kissing and nipping up the younger's neckline till he was running his tongue over the shell of his ear. Then drawing back Altair whispered "come on Kadar, show your big brother just how much you like being a dirty slut."

Malik prickled at the slur but the sudden increase of the throbbing under his fingertips as the pulse of Kadar's heart raced quickly removed any negative feelings. Malik gulped, He could literally feel how Altair's dirty talk was going straight to his sibling's groin.  Shamelessly Altair continued his provocative dialogue "tell me what you want Kadar."

"I want to be fucked" Kadar murmured leaning his head back on Altair's shoulder. "By who?" the master assassin added. Kadar paused unsure of the proper answer to that. Sensing the confusion Altair continued "Keep going, tell Malik what you want." Kadar's heart leapt in his chest as he realized what Altair wanted him to say. He stared up nervously at his brother who gazed back in puzzlement asked "what is he talking about Kadar?"

Kadar bit his lips trying to decide what to do.  If only Malik's hand wasn't still resting right thare he might've been able to think. Altair nudged him gently trying to prompt the confession. Kadar steeled his nerves and spilled his heart out. "Brother I- I want… I mean you've never… and I've always wanted you-" he faltered then, unable to go on. blushed "Out with it Kadar!" Altair growled. He was getting very tired of this mindless blathering. Kadar dared one last look at his still hopelessly confused sibling before spitting it out

"Malik I want you to fuck me!"

In the moment of rushed desperation the novice reached forward and wrapped his arms around Malik clinging tightly as he waited for his response.  Face buried into the fabric of the other's robes and heart in his throat.

Malik tried to react but only got as far as "Brother I…" before he trailed off.  Altair rolled his eyes. Once again it was up to him to keep these two on track. He pulled Kadar back forcing him to give up his grip on his sibling, then pushed him down on the hay so his back and more importantly his ass was facing Malik. A firm hand pressing on his lower back to keep the novice still.

Altair turned back to Malik the seductive tone returning to his voice and he asked "So what do you say Malik? Kadar has been wishing to taste your cock for a long time now. Surely you won't deny him?"

Malik his mouth was dry, his pulse echoing in his ears, and his mind churning with the possibilities. Then he noticed the way Kadar was quivering under Altair's hands. He was being manipulated like a doll and forced to hold the suggestive position. Malik suddenly felt sickened by the careless objectification of his beloved sibling that was being used to tempt him.

He stepped closer. Altair's satisfied smirk was cut off as Malik slapped his hands away from his younger brother. He then sat down on the hay drawing the youngest gently into his lap. He waited till the nervous apprentice dared to stray his cobalt eyes back to him before speaking.

"Kadar no more of the posturing. I need to know, do you really want such a thing?" Malik asked evenly. Kadar shifted in his lap but after few calming breaths he answered plainly "yes, I really do brother, I've always wanted it." Malik nodded and continued " do you understand the consciences? Sodomy is one thing but lying with your kin is far worse" Kadar answer surprised Malik. His brother drew up to face him and calmly announced;

"La shai' waqee mutlak bl kollin mumkin"

"Nothing is true and everything is permitted" Malik repeated his brother's words. The familiar saying rolling off his tongue. He had never thought of interpreting the creed's maxim like that. Before he thought a second more about it, Malik leaned forward a little and joined lips with Kadar.

After a long deep kiss that had an observing Altair biting his lip Malik broke the connection and murmured "you are right brother, it will be my honour to grant you your wish". He pulled Kadar closer and locked lips with him again.

On the other side of the hay bale sat an oh-so-proud of himself Altair. It hadn't gone exactly like he had planned but at least he had gotten the desired outcome. He was definitely going to enjoy watching this.

4.  Lol what?

This time it was Shaun's turn to ask the tired question of "what happened last night". Not that it was completely unpleasant to wake up to the shy smile and bright baby blue eyes of the youngest A-Sayf brother lying on his chest.

The historian Looked from the younger man to over his left shoulder where Desmond was sprawled on the other half of the comfy bed located in the corner of the animus 2.0 room. The brown sheets covering his otherwise naked hips, just managing to keep his modesty intact.  Seeing he was still out cold Shaun turned back to the novice who he just noticed was also lacking his robes. Actually now that he thought about it he wasn't exactly sure what had happened to his own trousers.

"Sabah al-khayr" Kadar purred before placing a tentative kiss to the British man's lips. Unsure of what was said Shaun frowned a little but Kadar didn't seem to notice that his words weren't comprehended. Gradually he rose from his place on Shaun to move to the sleeping Desmond. Nonchalantly straddling the elder's hips and leaning down to give the ex-bartender his good morning kiss. To his delight Desmond's brown eyes opened at the loving gesture.

"es-hy tamaam Altaïr" Kadar greeted. Desmond reached up lazily gently cupping the younger's head in his hand before replying "Sabah al nor" the perfect Arabic flowing off his tongue courtesy of the bleeding effect.  The hand on Kadar's cheek lifted as Desmond stretched out under him. Feeling a little left out Shaun caught Desmond's eye and asked "What did he call you?"

"Tamaam Altaïr? Er, I think it literally translates to 'perfect Altaïr' I think Kadar is still having trouble with how much I resemble my ancestor." Desmond concluded. Looking back up to the Syrian youth sitting comfortably on his groin he said "Esmee Desmond Kadar, Mafi Altaïr."

"Ana asif Desmond" Kadar apologized hanging his head a little. Desmond shrugged and assured him it was no big deal reaching up and tracing his fingers along the other's spine. Kadar arched into the soft touch making a content "muuumm~" noise.  Des could plainly sense that he was eager for more of what he had received last night and the fervent purr as Desmond's hand cupped the line of his behind only proved the point.

But to Kadar's dismay the pleasant molesting of Des's searching fingers suddenly lifted leaving him aroused and confused. That is until Kadar opened his eyes and followed Desmond's gaze to find his brother standing by the side of the bed.

Malik was dressed only in the black outer shell of his Dai robes. Which seemed rather redundant as it failed to cover any of the normally required area and left the Rafiq's front half open to viewing, showing off a number of reddish rings of skin around Malik's hips inner thighs and right ankle.  Desmond recognized them instantly as the morning-after hallmarks of Alex mercer's Whipfist.

Malik reached his right arm out and Kadar happily moved into it. Returning his brother's one-armed hug. Both brothers seemingly unconcerned about their collective lack of clothing. Desmond took this opportunity to sit up in bed. Reaching out to snuggle Shaun as the two brothers begun talking quietly in Arabic.

Kadar pointed toward the brit as he talked. He raised an eyebrow at Desmond whose sudden smirk at the words forced him to ask about what was being said.  Desmond, who now seemed to be the official translator explained that Malik had asked his kin how his night had gone, to which Kadar had replied that "the red haired man is gruff but sincere, and that Desmond was just like Altaïr… except he was more affectionate and had a much bigger-" Shaun stopped him then, convinced that the ex-bartender was just making this shit up.

As Kadar continued the conversation Malik helped his brother back into the gray undershirt of his robes which went down to at least his knees. Taking the indication it may be the time to get dressed himself Shaun searched for and found his shirt and boxers.  Following his lead Desmond pulled his own black t-shirt over his shoulders before standing up. As he got to his feet Desmond stopped, sniffing the air then licking his lips. "I smell pancakes" he stated before repeating it in Arabic to the A-Sayf brothers.

Not stopping to see if he was followed Desmond trailed along the glass barrier separating his bed from the main chamber. He did halt however when he saw the feminine foot adorned with black nail polish that was sticking up over the edge of the brown sofa in front of the hideout's  massive flat screen television.

Then as if to explain this phenomenon the confused voice of Rebecca Crane called him over from the couch "ahhh... hay guys" she greeted "er...  don't mean to be a bother, but- what the fuck happened last night?" Desmond walked over to her, unable to hide his bemusement when he saw her predicament.

"not that I'm complaining.." she added shifting against the well toned man who had his strong arms wrapped around her unclothed body  gently cupping her chest and whispering soft Italian into her ear. Desmond was about to reply until Shaun interjected.  "I'm no expert, but considering that our hideout is filled with long dead assassins I would say your "baby" made a little boo boo"

Desmond was sure that if it wasn't for the fact that Ezio's perverted hands were the only thing keeping them from learning her bra size, Rebecca would have gotten to her feet and kicked Shaun's ass thare and then.

As it was it took her a good five minutes to locate her sports bra and panties. Another ten to convince Ezio to let her put them on and by that time the group of guys had moved on into the animus chamber. Where Alex mercer was lying back comfortably on the animus seemingly still fast asleep.

Only Lucy's broken desk and the pile of the remaining pieces of Rafiq robes attested to the previous night's activities for the virus. Malik made a point of walking passed the BLACKLIGHT but Kadar lagged a little behind. Waiting a moment for the others to pass before tracking back to examine the monster of a man that was responsible for the pained state of his sibling.

But as he drew nearer, baby blue met silver as Kadar realised that Alex had not really been asleep. Unfortunately this knowledge came too late for him to retreat to a safe distance. (namely the moon) and Kadar soon found his wrists wrapped in black strands that traveled up his elbows, wrapping around his arms again and again all the time pulling him toward Alex. Who had his arms crossed lazily behind his head as he reeled in his catch with little effort.

Kadar was pulled closer and closer until he was sitting in the virus's lap. At that point the tendrils around his arms yanked them violently backwards and bound the two together behind his back.  More and more tendrils wrapped up and around his legs while his gray hood piece was pulled back over his head by one of Alex's human hands.

"You must be Malik's brother, right?" Alex questioned once he had relieved Kadar of his clothes. Resting a hand against the younger's heaving chest as he hyperventilated from pure fear.  Kadar was completely unaware of the meaning of Alex's words but upon hearing his brother's name he nodded violently hoping vainly that maybe it would make the demon let him go.

Alex's evil smile played on his lips "I've been meaning to test out the newer version" he purred letting his had slip down the other's chest. Kadar didn't even need to know a word of English to recognize that he was royally fucked. He tried to cry out maybe get his brother's attention but as he opened his mouth it was quickly filled by one of the many strands of the virus. Kadar's cry was limited to a pitiful "mmmm!" as Alex's hand closed round-

Rebecca descended the metal steps casually, now dressed in full pyjamas.  She felt that there was no need for more of the assassins to see how well her carpet matched the drapes. Ezio following close behind her in nothing but a pair of Shaun's boxers. (Stolen without permission)

As they passed the animas 2.0 she stopped. Placing her hand on her hips and addressed the virus from across the room. Alex looked up from his novice just in time to for her add. "If you break my baby, I'm putting Bloodtox in your dinner kapish?" Alex frowned but nodded. Satisfied, she continued walking almost bodily dragging the Auditore who was having trouble taking his eyes off the intricate and morbidly beautiful way Alex was violating the younger man.

But all thoughts of that sight were driven out of the Italian's mind as Rebecca led him into the kitchen. The sweet smell of pancakes that had lured them thare wafting up from the stove top where Lucy was standing, spatula-in-hand dressed in a loose fitting white robe. A man who shared her shade of blond hair looking over her shoulder. Apparently fascinated to no end by how the modern technology was reliably producing the thin perfectly cooked cakes every five or so minutes. Ezio raised an eyebrow as he stepped out from behind Rebecca observing how close the renaissance painter was to Lucy.

"Leonardo, I didn't know you still had any interest in the fairer sex." He exclaimed in Italian a chaste smile decorating his lips as he gave Leo a knowing look. Startled Leonardo took a step back from Lucy's feminine frame giving the Florentine assassin a nervous glance.

"Er... Ezio... I- umm...well actually.." he begun but was interrupted by the bang of the fridge door as it slammed shut  to reveal the half-dressed Grand Master of the Syrian Assassins Order sinking his teeth into the chilled flesh of a ruby red apple.

As Altaïr's composed eyes met Ezio's confused ones the elder scoffed "I like your taste in men" in Arabic reaching out casually to give the artist's butt a firm squeeze.  Even though Ezio didn't understand the exact words the intent and tone was enough to get the message across the language barrier. An inept sense of jealousy suddenly took over Ezio and he begun Jabbering vary fast in Italian. Much to the amusement of the elder assassin.

"Inta sharmoot" Malik muttered from his seat at the kitchen table. Desmond dropped his head into his hands and muttered "not again" before getting up to play mediator/ translator for the hotheaded assassins.

A second later Malik realized that he hadn't received any feedback from his brother.  Kadar was usually quick to defend Altaïr but today his insult was met only with silence. That then led to the discovery that somewhere between the bed and the kitchen he had lost his kin.

He then turned to Rebecca who had taken up Desmond's old seat and was digging into the plate of pancakes she has swiped from Lucy.  Sadly his frantic questions about his brother's whereabouts were only met with a perplexed pout.

The techno-geek turned to Desmond who was currently trapped between his two ancestors. Who had somehow mutually decided that it would be much more productive to team up on their descendent, much to the amusement of an observing Shaun.

"Yo! Des, what's he saying?" Rebecca asked from across the kitchen. Desmond's brown eyes switched from the two similar looking men who were backing him up against the kitchen counter to her.  "He's asking if you've seen Kadar" Desmond translated rather hurriedly as he was bent over the laminated Granite.

"Oohhh" Rebecca exclaimed in understanding, turning back to Malik she added "Yha dude he's back in the animus room.  Dear Dr. Alex managed to get his claws into him."  All it took was for the eldest A-Sayf to hear the name of the virus to instantly comprehend what exactly had happened to his poor younger brother. Rebecca watched as Malik rapidly got to his feet and left the room.

"he's too late" she commented to no one in particular, taking another bite of her breakfast as the two blonds finished cooking and took up a place next to her at the table. After a moment Lucy turned to the darker haired women and said "You know Rebecca, as much fun as last night was, we need to start working on a way to get these guys back to thare own time zones "

"Awww, are you sure?" Rebecca pouted talking a little louder in order to be heard over the gasping moans and animal-like grunts coming from across the kitchen.

"Hey, becaa you don't remember where we left the video camera do you" Shaun asked oh-so casually his eyes not straying from "that" part of the kitchen counter.  "It's still under Desmond's bed I think" Rebecca offered before turning back to Lucy. "If you say so boss, I'll give baby a look over after breakfast provided we can force Alex out of it." Lucy nodded and when back to her orange juice.

"Oh mio dio" Leonardo exclaimed dropping his fork in a mix of shock and amazement. Quickly scrabbling to pick it up as he muttered something about how Ezio had never done anything like that to him before. Shaun who had returned with the camera promptly (and who naturally spoke flawless Italian) explained that it was one of Desmond's tricks that Ezio must have just picked up. Oh so tactfully adding that it felt ten times better than it looked before pressing the red button and setting the camera on the table.  It would capture all the action while he got his breakfast.

Description
Coupling Index; (note: "Alex" refers to Alex mercer from the game prototype)

1. Ezio/Leonardo

2. Alex/Desmond/Shaun

3. Kadar/Altaïr/Malik

4. Kadar/Desmond/Shaun Alex/Malik Ezio/Rebecca Lucy/Leonardo/Altair

1.  Dear Vienna

A cold breeze traveled into the dimly lit room flowing in through the open window that had been carelessly left open the previous night. An event that was commonplace considering Ezio's apparent hatred of using the front door. Regretfully Leonardo rose from his bed to shut it. Being careful to not trip over the stray pieces of metal and cloth strewn about the room. That when put together made the outfit of the infamous assassin of Venezia.

As he shut the window a memory sparked in the back of his mind. It was of something that Ezio's mother had told him back before all these horrible events had begun. on one of her more informal tangents Maria had let it slip to him that removing her husband's armour and robes was a delicate and exact science and required lots of practice.

At the time Leonardo couldn't have imagined that one day he would come to know the art of removing the Auditore robes so well and learn how true the mother's words were.

There were few people on earth that knew exactly how complicated the outfit was. The group mostly consisting of Ezio, himself, his mother and perhaps the tailor who was responsible for the constant color changes the robes received.

As he thought more about it Leonardo began mulling over his philosophy about Ezio's armour. You see recently the artist had been considering that the layers of robes in Ezio's outfit were symbolic of the layers of emotion he cloaked himself in.

For example the first layer was Ezio's armour which was the hardest to remove, especially the breastplate. This cold hard metal was the first line of defence and it kept the more variable parts of Ezio safe. The same was true about what it represented.

There were many harsh realities to Ezio's occupation and although he had never done it himself Leonardo knew that taking a life was never easy and if one didn't throw up such protective plates the person in question would go mad. So Ezio's heart, soul, and his vary sense of humanity and decency had to be covered in such thick plates. To make sure they thrived even when his sleeves were soaked with blood and crying children clung to their mother's. With screams of "assassino" and "monster" filling the air because in the battlefield even a flicker of pity or remorse could cost you dearly.

Then the second layer, the robes.  They were simply magnificent, made out of rich lightweight material that was loosely woven as to prevent over heating when under constant physical strain.
The outer coat consisted of three tiers of material that were open in the middle so when he walked it flourished about magnificently, like the tail of an exotic bird.

The hems were decorated with finite detailing in silver and gold that must have taken years to weave in such an intricate pattern. But despite the garments grandeur Leonardo was able to look past it and see the outfit for what it truly was.

If Ezio was a peacock then the robe would be his feathers. They were the swagger in his step, the flourish in his swordplay, the flaunt in his flirting. Everything Ezio did he did with his own sense of grandeur and finesse that Leonardo felt perfectly mirrored the elegance of the exquisite assassin robes.

That's why it was so gratifying to Leo when he managed to remove the flashy display. Stripping Ezio back to his lose fitting white shirt and tights. Dressed just like he used to before he dedicated his life to the blade.

Leonardo knew that underneath the armour and flare thare was an ordinary man. One who loved, lost, cared and cried. One that liked to be kissed just under his left ear and was always too stubborn to admit he needed a hug when he obviously did.

Then finally the last layer when Leonardo would get his reward for taking the time to remove all of Ezio's complex layers. That lovely moment in time when he broke Ezio back down to what he was born with and thare was nothing left to hide.

A sleepy question of "what are you doing Leonardo?" finally broke the trance the artiste had slipped into and made him realize that he had been standing pointlessly by the window. Fingers just resting lightly on the wooden frame for almost an hour.

"Nothing il mio amore, just thinking." Leonardo answered returning to bed and sliding back under the covers. Ezio's scarred lips formed a confused pout. "Are you sure? Is something bothering you?"

"It was truly nothing, now go back to bed Ezio. Even assasino need their beauty sleep." The artist chided. Ezio's pout wavered and died his hand moving under the covers until it found the inventors. Ezio nodded as he Laced his fingers into Leonardo's and closed his eyes,  but he only remained quiet for a moment before he said "hey Leonardo?"

"Yes?" the painter answered patiently settling back against the pillows. "If sleep truly is what makes you beautiful, I'm surprised I ever see you awake."  Leo smiled and shook his head. "You're as sweet as sugar coated honey Ezio, but didn't you promise me you would sleep?" the assassin murmured an apology and fell silent once more.

Eventually Leonardo allowed himself to slump back down as well concluding that his painting could wait a few more hours. Carefully he moved his right hand which was still intertwined with Ezio's till it was resting on his heart.

2.  Three's a crowd

Desmond miles knew what had happened even before he opened his eyes. It was all too familiar. The soft violated aching in his abdomen, the constant throbbing from the numerous bruises that dotted around his neck, shoulders, and inner thighs.  Most of all the sickly sweet drug-like taste the many tentacles of the BLACKLIGHT virus always left in his mouth.

So it was no surprise to him when he opened his eyes and the warm object he was resting against turned out to be the muscular chest of Dr. Alex J. mercer. The good doctor in question was still out cold. His head latent against the pillows, left arm keeping up a dull but firm hold around Desmond's back in his sleep.

However what did surprise him was that when he looked across the pectoral muscles of the superhuman he was pressed flush against, he discovered that Alex's right arm was similarly employed to his left, clutching the lithe naked body of a young British man. Who for some utterly contrived reason was still wearing his glasses despite the fact they had been knocked askew and were nearly falling off.

"Shaun?" Desmond questioned, pushing himself up a little to get a clear look at what he was almost sure was the brit over the asleep virus. The man to the monster's right opened one eye and stared up at him rather crossly "it's too early Desmond, go back to sleep you pillock..." he grumbled letting his head loll back against Alex again. That was Shaun aright, Desmond considered following the suggestion but established that the curiosity was worth bugging Shaun a little more.

"What did we do last night?" Desmond asked, his question unintentionally having the air of the teenage stoner about it. Shaun smirked against Alex's skin and rolled over onto his back before commenting "still a little fuzzy from last night eh des? I don't blame you.  After how hard I fucked your brains out I can imagine it would be hard to remember." Desmond was taken aback, up until this point he hadn't even consider that the pain in his backside had been caused by something other than Alex's many, many, many, many, tentacles.

"You-" Desmond begun but was interrupted by a third groan that came from the man Desmond and Shaun had been talking over.  Two glowing blue eyes opened and looked down at them. "Stop bickering my little darlings, daddy loves you both equally" he smirked tightening his hold around their hips.

"Desmond was just having a little trouble recalling last night's activities" Shaun explained. "That's a pity... maybe we should try to help remind him?" Alex suggested his evil grin widening by a few unnaturally sharp teeth.  Shaun frowned tiredly "I'm much too knackered for another go but by all means you should try.  Hearing his lovely moans will help me sleep." Alex nodded and released Shaun rolling on top of the startled Desmond before he could speak a word of opposition. Shaun turned on his side back to his two other lovers falling back asleep to Desmond's strained cries for more.

3.  In the Eagle's Nest

The morning sun was just rising over the port city of Acre. Its beams of light reflecting across the water and creating a gorgeous sight as it seemed to rise out of the waters depths as it crossed the horizon.  From the top of a tower that connected the formidable stone walls that lined the city a young assassin watched the display, breath caught in his throat as he took in the stoic elegance of the European city.

Lying just to his side his brother stirred in his sleep.  Rolling over and placing the crook of his left arm over his eyes in an attempt to block out the intruding sunlight. For a moment Kadar wondered if he should take advantage of the momentary regain of consciousness and show his brother the sunrise.

But in the end he decided against it. Judging by the groaning he had not had a very comfortable night and the novice knew it was far better to let a tired and grumpy Malik lie. So Kadar just leaned back against the soft pile of hay that had served as his bed and enjoyed the view alone.

It took another full hour of tossing and turning before Malik gave up on sleep, sat back up, and stretched. Kadar bit back his good morning when he heard the colourful swearing as his brother's spine cracked painfully back into place.

Kadar felt a pang of empathy for his kin and smiled apologetically at him. Having sex in a pile of hay had all sorts of complications and Malik always seemed to get the worst of it. Malik got shakily to his feet and flexed his arms trying to work out a few of the kinks before turning around to start the laborious process of digging his bracer and weapons out of the straw.

"I don't know why Altair always insists we do "it" on a tower in a nest of hay like fucking birds" Malik muttered as he pulled a sheathed sword out from under the hay. Kadar opened his mouth but his brother read his mind and stopped him. "I am very aware of the meaning of his name, but just because he is named after a bird doesn't mean he has to act like one"

"I act like what exactly?"  Kadar started and turned round to see the man they had been discussing perched on the tower wall. Malik was unfazed by the sudden appearance. "Well what do you know? The eagle returned to his nest. Where were you?"

"I was out gathering information" Altair explained stepping down from the edge. "I thought the magnificent Altair was above information gathering" Malik observed locating his hidden blade gantlet and pulling it over his left wrist.

"Normally yes, but it passes the time while I'm waiting for my mates to recover from my talents." Altair smirked before strutting over to the hay bale and flopping down onto it next to Kadar.

"You still look a little worn out yourself Malik. Perhaps you should take a lesson from Kadar? He can take it all night and still be asking for more in the morning."  Altair smirked slipping an arm round the novice's middle, pulling the object of his lust closer. Kadar blushed beet red and this statement. Malik went red too but for an entirely different reason.

"Did you just call my brother a whore?" he growled his tone low and menacing. His hidden blade making a soft 'shicccnk' sound at it slid out of its holster. The four remaining fingers on his hand forming an angry fist. The deadly blade sitting in place of the ring finger.

Kadar's lips quavered a bit in worry but Altair didn't so much as blink. "Whore is such a strong word, I prefer slut" he remarked.  Malik's facial expression didn't change but if you looked closely you could see his fist and body tighten in rage. "I don't see why you're getting so upset about it." Altair announced before Malik could reply to his previous comment.

"You don't mind being called a slut do you Kadar?" Altair asserted his hand slipping from the novice's hip down under the waistband of his pants. Kadar gasped and leaned into the touch. "In fact I would say you enjoy it."  Altair added. Kadar moaned, unwittingly affirming the elder assassin's statement.

Malik just stood thare for a moment stuck somewhere between the feelings of anger and desire. On the one hand He had to defend his brother's honour. On the other thare was the way that Altair was making his adorable kin spread his legs.

Malik pushed the arrant feeling of desire aside and repeated the master assassin's name trying to draw the attention back to him. Altair looked up almost surprised that Malik was still sticking offence to his words.

Altair shifted the willing body in his arms so he was holding the flushed Kadar in his lap. His knees locked under the back of the novice's holding the younger's legs open.  Leaving his hands free to feel and grope.

"You are mistaking my meaning brother. I did not mean it to be an insult, more a term of endearment" Altair explained.  "Then we must not be speaking the same language because I'm sure that it is an insulting term" Malik retorted.

Altair sighed impatient to get this over with. Then an idea entered his mind. He looked up at Malik his eyes flashing gold briefly as he rolled the situation over in his head once more before acting.

He caught the other man's attention and motioned for him to come closer, strangely Malik obeyed. If asked about it later he would attribute the odd show of obedience to the purposeful look in Altair's eyes. The one that always indicated he had something in mind.  Indeed true to his premonition as soon as he was in range Altair reached out to take hold of the elder brother's wrist. Guiding the hand down till the palm was resting flat on the front of Kadar's pants.

It would be fair to say that Malik was startled by the turn of events.  You see despite the fact that he and his brother were often in sexual situations together, he had tried to refrain from interacting directly with Kadar. Mostly to dull the sense of taboo that came from the arrangement. For Malik the perception of their relationship had been more that the two brothers shared Altair and less that they were a real threesome.

It was because of this assumption that Malik felt awkward touching Kadar like this, but despite his unease Malik could feel the heavy pulse of his kin's heart through the thin material and found that he couldn't make himself pull his hand away.

Altair smiled smugly manipulating Malik's hand by the wrist in just such a way that it drew a languished sound from Kadar. Then as he released Malik's he said "hold still, I'm sure you'll loosen up if you can feel just how much your brother likes being called that." Malik was left unsure of what Altair was on about but had no intension of disobeying.

Altair leaned down nipping at Kadar's shoulder blades gently kissing and nipping up the younger's neckline till he was running his tongue over the shell of his ear. Then drawing back Altair whispered "come on Kadar, show your big brother just how much you like being a dirty slut."

Malik prickled at the slur but the sudden increase of the throbbing under his fingertips as the pulse of Kadar's heart raced quickly removed any negative feelings. Malik gulped, He could literally feel how Altair's dirty talk was going straight to his sibling's groin.  Shamelessly Altair continued his provocative dialogue "tell me what you want Kadar."

"I want to be fucked" Kadar murmured leaning his head back on Altair's shoulder. "By who?" the master assassin added. Kadar paused unsure of the proper answer to that. Sensing the confusion Altair continued "Keep going, tell Malik what you want." Kadar's heart leapt in his chest as he realized what Altair wanted him to say. He stared up nervously at his brother who gazed back in puzzlement asked "what is he talking about Kadar?"

Kadar bit his lips trying to decide what to do.  If only Malik's hand wasn't still resting right thare he might've been able to think. Altair nudged him gently trying to prompt the confession. Kadar steeled his nerves and spilled his heart out. "Brother I- I want… I mean you've never… and I've always wanted you-" he faltered then, unable to go on. blushed "Out with it Kadar!" Altair growled. He was getting very tired of this mindless blathering. Kadar dared one last look at his still hopelessly confused sibling before spitting it out

"Malik I want you to fuck me!"

In the moment of rushed desperation the novice reached forward and wrapped his arms around Malik clinging tightly as he waited for his response.  Face buried into the fabric of the other's robes and heart in his throat.

Malik tried to react but only got as far as "Brother I…" before he trailed off.  Altair rolled his eyes. Once again it was up to him to keep these two on track. He pulled Kadar back forcing him to give up his grip on his sibling, then pushed him down on the hay so his back and more importantly his ass was facing Malik. A firm hand pressing on his lower back to keep the novice still.

Altair turned back to Malik the seductive tone returning to his voice and he asked "So what do you say Malik? Kadar has been wishing to taste your cock for a long time now. Surely you won't deny him?"

Malik his mouth was dry, his pulse echoing in his ears, and his mind churning with the possibilities. Then he noticed the way Kadar was quivering under Altair's hands. He was being manipulated like a doll and forced to hold the suggestive position. Malik suddenly felt sickened by the careless objectification of his beloved sibling that was being used to tempt him.

He stepped closer. Altair's satisfied smirk was cut off as Malik slapped his hands away from his younger brother. He then sat down on the hay drawing the youngest gently into his lap. He waited till the nervous apprentice dared to stray his cobalt eyes back to him before speaking.

"Kadar no more of the posturing. I need to know, do you really want such a thing?" Malik asked evenly. Kadar shifted in his lap but after few calming breaths he answered plainly "yes, I really do brother, I've always wanted it." Malik nodded and continued " do you understand the consciences? Sodomy is one thing but lying with your kin is far worse" Kadar answer surprised Malik. His brother drew up to face him and calmly announced;

"La shai' waqee mutlak bl kollin mumkin"

"Nothing is true and everything is permitted" Malik repeated his brother's words. The familiar saying rolling off his tongue. He had never thought of interpreting the creed's maxim like that. Before he thought a second more about it, Malik leaned forward a little and joined lips with Kadar.

After a long deep kiss that had an observing Altair biting his lip Malik broke the connection and murmured "you are right brother, it will be my honour to grant you your wish". He pulled Kadar closer and locked lips with him again.

On the other side of the hay bale sat an oh-so-proud of himself Altair. It hadn't gone exactly like he had planned but at least he had gotten the desired outcome. He was definitely going to enjoy watching this.

4.  Lol what?

This time it was Shaun's turn to ask the tired question of "what happened last night". Not that it was completely unpleasant to wake up to the shy smile and bright baby blue eyes of the youngest A-Sayf brother lying on his chest.

The historian Looked from the younger man to over his left shoulder where Desmond was sprawled on the other half of the comfy bed located in the corner of the animus 2.0 room. The brown sheets covering his otherwise naked hips, just managing to keep his modesty intact.  Seeing he was still out cold Shaun turned back to the novice who he just noticed was also lacking his robes. Actually now that he thought about it he wasn't exactly sure what had happened to his own trousers.

"Sabah al-khayr" Kadar purred before placing a tentative kiss to the British man's lips. Unsure of what was said Shaun frowned a little but Kadar didn't seem to notice that his words weren't comprehended. Gradually he rose from his place on Shaun to move to the sleeping Desmond. Nonchalantly straddling the elder's hips and leaning down to give the ex-bartender his good morning kiss. To his delight Desmond's brown eyes opened at the loving gesture.

"es-hy tamaam Altaïr" Kadar greeted. Desmond reached up lazily gently cupping the younger's head in his hand before replying "Sabah al nor" the perfect Arabic flowing off his tongue courtesy of the bleeding effect.  The hand on Kadar's cheek lifted as Desmond stretched out under him. Feeling a little left out Shaun caught Desmond's eye and asked "What did he call you?"

"Tamaam Altaïr? Er, I think it literally translates to 'perfect Altaïr' I think Kadar is still having trouble with how much I resemble my ancestor." Desmond concluded. Looking back up to the Syrian youth sitting comfortably on his groin he said "Esmee Desmond Kadar, Mafi Altaïr."

"Ana asif Desmond" Kadar apologized hanging his head a little. Desmond shrugged and assured him it was no big deal reaching up and tracing his fingers along the other's spine. Kadar arched into the soft touch making a content "muuumm~" noise.  Des could plainly sense that he was eager for more of what he had received last night and the fervent purr as Desmond's hand cupped the line of his behind only proved the point.

But to Kadar's dismay the pleasant molesting of Des's searching fingers suddenly lifted leaving him aroused and confused. That is until Kadar opened his eyes and followed Desmond's gaze to find his brother standing by the side of the bed.

Malik was dressed only in the black outer shell of his Dai robes. Which seemed rather redundant as it failed to cover any of the normally required area and left the Rafiq's front half open to viewing, showing off a number of reddish rings of skin around Malik's hips inner thighs and right ankle.  Desmond recognized them instantly as the morning-after hallmarks of Alex mercer's Whipfist.

Malik reached his right arm out and Kadar happily moved into it. Returning his brother's one-armed hug. Both brothers seemingly unconcerned about their collective lack of clothing. Desmond took this opportunity to sit up in bed. Reaching out to snuggle Shaun as the two brothers begun talking quietly in Arabic.

Kadar pointed toward the brit as he talked. He raised an eyebrow at Desmond whose sudden smirk at the words forced him to ask about what was being said.  Desmond, who now seemed to be the official translator explained that Malik had asked his kin how his night had gone, to which Kadar had replied that "the red haired man is gruff but sincere, and that Desmond was just like Altaïr… except he was more affectionate and had a much bigger-" Shaun stopped him then, convinced that the ex-bartender was just making this shit up.

As Kadar continued the conversation Malik helped his brother back into the gray undershirt of his robes which went down to at least his knees. Taking the indication it may be the time to get dressed himself Shaun searched for and found his shirt and boxers.  Following his lead Desmond pulled his own black t-shirt over his shoulders before standing up. As he got to his feet Desmond stopped, sniffing the air then licking his lips. "I smell pancakes" he stated before repeating it in Arabic to the A-Sayf brothers.

Not stopping to see if he was followed Desmond trailed along the glass barrier separating his bed from the main chamber. He did halt however when he saw the feminine foot adorned with black nail polish that was sticking up over the edge of the brown sofa in front of the hideout's  massive flat screen television.

Then as if to explain this phenomenon the confused voice of Rebecca Crane called him over from the couch "ahhh... hay guys" she greeted "er...  don't mean to be a bother, but- what the fuck happened last night?" Desmond walked over to her, unable to hide his bemusement when he saw her predicament.

"not that I'm complaining.." she added shifting against the well toned man who had his strong arms wrapped around her unclothed body  gently cupping her chest and whispering soft Italian into her ear. Desmond was about to reply until Shaun interjected.  "I'm no expert, but considering that our hideout is filled with long dead assassins I would say your "baby" made a little boo boo"

Desmond was sure that if it wasn't for the fact that Ezio's perverted hands were the only thing keeping them from learning her bra size, Rebecca would have gotten to her feet and kicked Shaun's ass thare and then.

As it was it took her a good five minutes to locate her sports bra and panties. Another ten to convince Ezio to let her put them on and by that time the group of guys had moved on into the animus chamber. Where Alex mercer was lying back comfortably on the animus seemingly still fast asleep.

Only Lucy's broken desk and the pile of the remaining pieces of Rafiq robes attested to the previous night's activities for the virus. Malik made a point of walking passed the BLACKLIGHT but Kadar lagged a little behind. Waiting a moment for the others to pass before tracking back to examine the monster of a man that was responsible for the pained state of his sibling.

But as he drew nearer, baby blue met silver as Kadar realised that Alex had not really been asleep. Unfortunately this knowledge came too late for him to retreat to a safe distance. (namely the moon) and Kadar soon found his wrists wrapped in black strands that traveled up his elbows, wrapping around his arms again and again all the time pulling him toward Alex. Who had his arms crossed lazily behind his head as he reeled in his catch with little effort.

Kadar was pulled closer and closer until he was sitting in the virus's lap. At that point the tendrils around his arms yanked them violently backwards and bound the two together behind his back.  More and more tendrils wrapped up and around his legs while his gray hood piece was pulled back over his head by one of Alex's human hands.

"You must be Malik's brother, right?" Alex questioned once he had relieved Kadar of his clothes. Resting a hand against the younger's heaving chest as he hyperventilated from pure fear.  Kadar was completely unaware of the meaning of Alex's words but upon hearing his brother's name he nodded violently hoping vainly that maybe it would make the demon let him go.

Alex's evil smile played on his lips "I've been meaning to test out the newer version" he purred letting his had slip down the other's chest. Kadar didn't even need to know a word of English to recognize that he was royally fucked. He tried to cry out maybe get his brother's attention but as he opened his mouth it was quickly filled by one of the many strands of the virus. Kadar's cry was limited to a pitiful "mmmm!" as Alex's hand closed round-

Rebecca descended the metal steps casually, now dressed in full pyjamas.  She felt that there was no need for more of the assassins to see how well her carpet matched the drapes. Ezio following close behind her in nothing but a pair of Shaun's boxers. (Stolen without permission)

As they passed the animas 2.0 she stopped. Placing her hand on her hips and addressed the virus from across the room. Alex looked up from his novice just in time to for her add. "If you break my baby, I'm putting Bloodtox in your dinner kapish?" Alex frowned but nodded. Satisfied, she continued walking almost bodily dragging the Auditore who was having trouble taking his eyes off the intricate and morbidly beautiful way Alex was violating the younger man.

But all thoughts of that sight were driven out of the Italian's mind as Rebecca led him into the kitchen. The sweet smell of pancakes that had lured them thare wafting up from the stove top where Lucy was standing, spatula-in-hand dressed in a loose fitting white robe. A man who shared her shade of blond hair looking over her shoulder. Apparently fascinated to no end by how the modern technology was reliably producing the thin perfectly cooked cakes every five or so minutes. Ezio raised an eyebrow as he stepped out from behind Rebecca observing how close the renaissance painter was to Lucy.

"Leonardo, I didn't know you still had any interest in the fairer sex." He exclaimed in Italian a chaste smile decorating his lips as he gave Leo a knowing look. Startled Leonardo took a step back from Lucy's feminine frame giving the Florentine assassin a nervous glance.

"Er... Ezio... I- umm...well actually.." he begun but was interrupted by the bang of the fridge door as it slammed shut  to reveal the half-dressed Grand Master of the Syrian Assassins Order sinking his teeth into the chilled flesh of a ruby red apple.

As Altaïr's composed eyes met Ezio's confused ones the elder scoffed "I like your taste in men" in Arabic reaching out casually to give the artist's butt a firm squeeze.  Even though Ezio didn't understand the exact words the intent and tone was enough to get the message across the language barrier. An inept sense of jealousy suddenly took over Ezio and he begun Jabbering vary fast in Italian. Much to the amusement of the elder assassin.

"Inta sharmoot" Malik muttered from his seat at the kitchen table. Desmond dropped his head into his hands and muttered "not again" before getting up to play mediator/ translator for the hotheaded assassins.

A second later Malik realized that he hadn't received any feedback from his brother.  Kadar was usually quick to defend Altaïr but today his insult was met only with silence. That then led to the discovery that somewhere between the bed and the kitchen he had lost his kin.

He then turned to Rebecca who had taken up Desmond's old seat and was digging into the plate of pancakes she has swiped from Lucy.  Sadly his frantic questions about his brother's whereabouts were only met with a perplexed pout.

The techno-geek turned to Desmond who was currently trapped between his two ancestors. Who had somehow mutually decided that it would be much more productive to team up on their descendent, much to the amusement of an observing Shaun.

"Yo! Des, what's he saying?" Rebecca asked from across the kitchen. Desmond's brown eyes switched from the two similar looking men who were backing him up against the kitchen counter to her.  "He's asking if you've seen Kadar" Desmond translated rather hurriedly as he was bent over the laminated Granite.

"Oohhh" Rebecca exclaimed in understanding, turning back to Malik she added "Yha dude he's back in the animus room.  Dear Dr. Alex managed to get his claws into him."  All it took was for the eldest A-Sayf to hear the name of the virus to instantly comprehend what exactly had happened to his poor younger brother. Rebecca watched as Malik rapidly got to his feet and left the room.

"he's too late" she commented to no one in particular, taking another bite of her breakfast as the two blonds finished cooking and took up a place next to her at the table. After a moment Lucy turned to the darker haired women and said "You know Rebecca, as much fun as last night was, we need to start working on a way to get these guys back to thare own time zones "

"Awww, are you sure?" Rebecca pouted talking a little louder in order to be heard over the gasping moans and animal-like grunts coming from across the kitchen.

"Hey, becaa you don't remember where we left the video camera do you" Shaun asked oh-so casually his eyes not straying from "that" part of the kitchen counter.  "It's still under Desmond's bed I think" Rebecca offered before turning back to Lucy. "If you say so boss, I'll give baby a look over after breakfast provided we can force Alex out of it." Lucy nodded and when back to her orange juice.

"Oh mio dio" Leonardo exclaimed dropping his fork in a mix of shock and amazement. Quickly scrabbling to pick it up as he muttered something about how Ezio had never done anything like that to him before. Shaun who had returned with the camera promptly (and who naturally spoke flawless Italian) explained that it was one of Desmond's tricks that Ezio must have just picked up. Oh so tactfully adding that it felt ten times better than it looked before pressing the red button and setting the camera on the table.  It would capture all the action while he got his breakfast.