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Tangerine-Catnip — WTF?, Shaun X Yahtzee [NSFW]
Published: 2010-05-21 12:25:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 3166; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 3
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Description (WARNING!! Yes you read the title right. the following story contains real person/video game character slash.  If you're at all iffy about this idea I suggest you back off. This is really, really, really, fucked up.)


Birds of a feather criticize together,

Shaun frowned distractedly as he walked down the street. Glancing at his watch, he saw it was nearly seven PM.   As if to reinforce the timepiece's point, the hot Australian sun was just beginning to set over Brisbane. He groaned exasperatedly, this "contact" Lucy had set him up with was officially a no-show and this hunt for a piece of Eden was turning into a wild goose chase.

But what really pissed him off was the fact that he was out a doing real work whilst Desmond got to sit on his arse faffing about on the rooftops of renaissance Italy.

Although he would never admit it, this was mostly because he wanted to be the one exploring the depths of history. After all he had spent his whole life studying the subject in books, examining ancient artifacts and speculating about how they were used. If anyone deserved to get an up close look at history it was him not some nobody bartender from Montréal.

He continued down the street brooding about this until he passed by a small venue built into a larger building bordering the street. It presented itself via a blue and chrome sign that read "Mana Bar" it was then that he decided he was due for a well deserved brake.   

As he entered the bar he was instantly aware of the unique vibe the place had about it. The walls were lined with no less than five flat screen HD tellies each showing off a different video game.  In one corner a set of four young males were having a rather intense battle in modern warfare 2. The same could also be sied of the ones next to them who were brutally smashing thare controllers as they attempted to best each other in a game of super smash brother's brawl.  on the other side of the bar, where the music, brutal caterwauling  and banging plastic was coming from you could see even more people engaging in a few rounds of Guitar Hero and Rock Band.     

As he took a closer look around Shaun saw that the blue and chrome motif that was on the sign was carried on in the bar.  A large blue controller was painted across one of the silver-white walls. Lights with blue covers hung from the ceiling and the room was accented by chrome counters that made out the bar part of the bar.     

Glass cases lined the walls in the places where they were not covered by screens and game consoles, housing a magnificent treasure trove of gaming memorabilia everything from the vinyl record of the orchestral score from Bioshock to a perfect model of Link's shield.

Shaun who was secretly a gamer himself began to wonder what strange heaven he had wondered into.

He soon noticed that the attention of the room was divided into two distinct crowds. One that was hovering around two girls in full skimpy Soul Calibur cosplay and mostly consisted of post adolescent males with cameras. The other was around a man sitting on one of the bar stools who was looking awfully board and not just a little annoyed with the people around him.

He looked to be in his mid 20's, dressed in a dark gray jacket covering a black dress shirt and dark pants held around his hips by a simple belt.  the top button on his shirt was undone and  a pair of sunglasses hung on the second, supplementing the pair of clear ones that currently covered his half lidded eyes, but what really made the outfit was a stylish fedora  that covered his red-brown hair that had a small yellow button pinned just above the brim on the left side.

He was resting his head in his hand leaning against the bar. His frowning  lips sporting a short goatee not to dissimilar to one that Shaun had been considering growing himself, but never really gotten around to it. Casually he sat down a few seats away from the man he had been observing. His eyes much less casually straying back to him as he wondered why he was of so much interest to the people.

As he watched the bartender came up behind the counter and asked if he wanted anything. Then noticing who he was looking at, he pointed at the blue concoction that was sitting in front of the other man and informed Shaun that it was called a "mana potion" curiosity intrigued by the name Shaun ordered one himself.


As he waited for his drink the gathering around the guy in the fedora gradually caught on to the aura of "Go fuck yourself" emanating from the man they were adoring and floated away. Once the last of them had cleared Shaun bumped over and sat next to him.

"They look annoying" Shaun commented gesturing toward the leaving fans.

"Agh... tell me about it. Sometimes I forget just how famous I am" the other groaned taking a sip from a bright blue cocktail. Shaun noted that the other had an English ascent as opposed to the typical Australian one he had been expecting.

"So you are famous, I was wondering about that 'cause I can't say I've ever heard of you" Shaun observed. The other man looked surprised "you sure?  The name Yahtzee ring any bells? What about Zero Punctuation?"

"Nope" Shaun reaffirmed as the bartender placed his blue drink on the chrome table. "Well then how did you hear about the bar?" the other asked.

"I dunno mate, I just walked in here didn't know this place existed" Shaun explained shrugging. The other man considered this for a moment before saying "well since you're the first person in a blue moon who I've actually had to introduce myself to, my names Ben but everyone calls me Yahtzee"

"Yahtzee?"  Shaun asked raising an eyebrow. Yahtzee cringed at the question and replied "I'd rather not go over that. I already had to do it fifteen bloody times speed dating last night. Officially the most unpleasant Mana Bar event yet..." Shaun nodded making a mental note that Yahtzee was currently single before introducing himself as Shaun.

Hearing the name Yahtzee's eyes flicked to the glass case that displayed the six inch fingerings of Altair and Ezio next to a limited edition black copy of Assassins Creed 2.  He shook his head casting the stupid idea out of his mind.  

"So Shaun at least tell me that you're a gamer and not just some random pillok who happen to wonder by" Yahtzee wondered leaning forward onto the chrome counter.   

Shaun nodded "I do play a little, never got into the whole consol gaming aspect however I tend to stick to PC RPG's"

"Not world of warcraft I hope?" Yahtzee questioned. Leaning forward on the chrome countertop.  "Egh, god no! I do have a life you know."  Shaun insisted. "Right now I'm working on Dragon Age. Ever played it?" he inquired.   

Yahtzee nodded adding "it's a freaking long game, but alright I suppose. Usually I don't like RPG's but I managed to stick that one out to the end."

After that the two red haired men got into an intriguing if somewhat nerdy conversation about what makes a good RPG. However soon their chat came to an abrupt end when a man in a lose fitting jacket came up behind the internet celebrity and dropped a small plastic Guitar shaped controller into his lap.

"Come on Yahtzee you've got fans to challenge" he joked.  The man named after a dice game frowned and looked disdainfully at Shaun "duty calls, you coming?" Shaun had never played Rock Band before but for some reason he was extremely reluctant to be parted from this strange character who called himself Yahtzee so he nodded in agreement and followed the other.

Five minutes later Shaun found himself sanding in the middle of a crowd, an undersized squeaky plastic guitar hanging loosely of his shoulder.  His fingers toyed with the multi colored buttons nervously as their owner tried to remember how in the bloody hell one played this game.


His situation only got worse when some fantastic cunt and his mate seeing how similar Yahtzee and Shaun were suggested that they have a British vs. Australians challenge.  

Yahtzee had gone first and had effortlessly treated the first of the two to an embarrassing loss but now Shaun felt the annoyed gaze of the game reviewer boring into his back as he struggled to get the notes on his own play.  The game adamantly complaining about Shaun's lack of skills.

He was about halfway through the song and dangerously close to failure when gamer rage got the better of Yahtzee. Shaun soon found a warm body pressed against his back as the other man reached around him to take the controller from his hands.

The wails of failure coming from the game were soon replaced by the powerful sound of correct cords and the angry booing of the electronic audience changed to cheering which was at odds with the real crowd as it seemed that the occupants of the manna bar had suddenly gone silent.

This was all lost on the video game reviewer who was so focused on the game the he failed to notice both the stunned reaction from his peers and the gentle shivering of the man he was pressed so close against.  The warm breath of the man in the fedora sent shivers up the historian's spine.

It was only when the song had ended and Yahtzee stepped back from the other British man that he noticed the awkwardness in the room and more importantly the fangirls who were still taking snapshots and giggling. The charismatic stallion frowned disapprovingly at the crowd. "Watching noobs play Rock Band upsets me" he stated not making eye contact with anyone.

Despite this little incident Shaun still spent the greater part of the night hanging around the comedic writer/video game journalist/author. They drunk more cocktails and talked about terrible video games.  Getting slightly annoyed whenever someone pointed out how similar they looked/acted. By the end of the night they had become such good friends that Yahtzee invited the historian back to his place to see who was truly better at left 4 dead.     

But that did nothing to explain how the assassin now found himself being pinned against the soft cushions of the critic's sofa the others lips pressed heatedly to his.  Somehow through the constant movement of his lips Yahtzee managed to growl "just so you know, I'm *kiss* not *lick* gay..."

"o- Of course not" Shaun panted still managing to cling to his beloved sarcasm as the other moved down to his neck.  He received an angry love bite on the nape of his neck as the only response. Yahtzee slid a hand under the two layers of Shaun's gray sweater and white shirt. Pressing the palm flat on his chest feeling the erratic pulse of the other's heart.

X-box controllers hit the floor jostled from the couch. The on screen characters begun screaming now without players to guide them they were left to be savaged by zombies. Neither of the men on the couch gave them as second look, they were too focused of the removal of clothing.

The dark gray jacket fell to the floor soon to be joined by the lighter gray sweater then topped by the white and black colored dress shirts. The clicking of belt buckles, the rustling of yet more clothes then after a moment the moaning begin.

The short red hairs of the other goatee gently tickled the skin as he kissed a line down the historian's hip causing the brit to arch back into the sofa.  

One of Shaun's feet rested on the floor near the sofa the other leg being held just under the knee keeping it in place. Blunt nails dug into straining shoulders as Shaun was rocked back against the plush material.   His glasses, which he had forgotten to remove in the rush, slipped off turning the world into a swirling blur.

Shaun's breath caught in his throat as he neared the edge he readily gave into the need of his body his whole being shivering with jolts of pleasure. Then slowly his muscles begun relaxing and blood pressure dropped as he collapsed down onto the couch. A similar groan from the other sealed with a final kiss.

Yahtzee moved his hips back then rested his head on the others chest panting heavily, and rightly so as he had been doing most of the work.

Abandoned and ignored the x-box 360 still whirred as it spun its game disk. The TV displaying the bloody "game over" screen.  A hand reached down and scooped up a white controller pressing the middle button and shutting down the console the green circle of the power button growing dim and shutting off.
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Comments: 69

Tangerine-Catnip In reply to ??? [2013-01-09 16:26:30 +0000 UTC]

Thanks~

I’ve actually been to the manna bar, the one in Melbourne anyway. There are also a lot of pictures of the bars on the web along with a few videos introducing the staff. They aren’t that big so it was easy to get a basic layout.

This one I think [link]

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CreativeDarkPeace [2011-09-16 04:23:36 +0000 UTC]

i... LOVED IT!!!!!

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brandy422 [2011-07-14 00:02:51 +0000 UTC]

this is awesome! i love it!

"he really rubs me up the right way, Can't think why!" ~Yahtzee

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to brandy422 [2011-07-14 23:34:32 +0000 UTC]

What can I say besides sarcastic, bespectacled, scruffy men ftw!

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brandy422 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2011-07-15 01:20:17 +0000 UTC]

Exactly! you're gonna go far my friend!

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darksuccubus666 [2011-02-16 22:36:10 +0000 UTC]

this. is. awesome. xDDDDD

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to darksuccubus666 [2011-02-20 04:48:51 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. so. Much.

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LALA12049657980 [2011-02-10 07:14:31 +0000 UTC]

This is amazing. But I have to think what would Yahtzee do if he had this sent to him.... That would lead to an interesting response .

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to LALA12049657980 [2011-02-11 02:26:57 +0000 UTC]

thanks!

Maybe.. I think that he has already seen/heard of it and decided he’s rather leave it alone.. But you never know~

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LALA12049657980 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2011-02-18 05:19:48 +0000 UTC]

He probably has, which would make sense. But I would have imagined that he would make some remark about it in ZP.... Like with other instances of stuff.

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to LALA12049657980 [2011-02-20 04:50:58 +0000 UTC]

We got a tweet about it! (sort of) last summer, when slashing Yahtzee was all the rage… ahh, the good old days...

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LALA12049657980 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2011-02-27 23:05:49 +0000 UTC]

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orochimarufanforever [2011-02-08 19:21:17 +0000 UTC]

LOL YOU PAIRED THEM!!! OMG WTF LOL XDDD Funny thing is when I saw them I was like...hmmm fanfiction? XD I would LOVE to see his reaction to this TEEHEE XD
<3

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to orochimarufanforever [2011-02-11 02:29:51 +0000 UTC]

yes, yes i did. What can I say, it was imposable to resist~

I think he already knows about it and is just trying to forget, People have a tendency to send him this stuff..

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orochimarufanforever In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2011-02-11 06:07:39 +0000 UTC]

HA XD Thats great XD No wonder he assumes things about the internet

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to orochimarufanforever [2011-02-20 04:49:15 +0000 UTC]

Pfft~ yes exactly!

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orochimarufanforever In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2011-02-20 06:35:22 +0000 UTC]

XD

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orochimarufanforever In reply to orochimarufanforever [2011-02-24 02:57:15 +0000 UTC]

I finally finished reading through it.... WTF XDD Seriously WTF XDD

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LALA12049657980 In reply to orochimarufanforever [2011-02-10 07:15:12 +0000 UTC]

I would so like to see his reaction too.

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orochimarufanforever In reply to LALA12049657980 [2011-02-10 07:27:22 +0000 UTC]

lol XD

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LALA12049657980 In reply to orochimarufanforever [2011-02-18 05:19:52 +0000 UTC]

XD

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deans42ndfreckle [2010-05-26 23:42:06 +0000 UTC]

liar. s'not crap. you always say that. it makes me mad. i had my 0/////////0 on the whole tome (perverted grin)

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momo0231 [2010-05-22 19:36:37 +0000 UTC]

*is speachless* that was awesome!

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to momo0231 [2010-05-24 03:17:56 +0000 UTC]

*feels proud that I rendered you speechless*

hehe~ thanks!

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Seige-ay [2010-05-22 02:59:09 +0000 UTC]

Omg, I laughed so hard when I saw the title, knowing exactly what it was But reading it, goddamn, I could hardly breath, AMAZING.

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to Seige-ay [2010-05-22 04:10:53 +0000 UTC]

Was it’s really that funny? Well then, thanks so much! I’m glad you liked it.

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IblisTrigger451 [2010-05-22 01:48:16 +0000 UTC]

0.0

0o0

@o@



IMMA SEND THIS STRAIGHT TO YAHTZEE NOW!!!!! XDDDD

just kidding just kidding ...

seriously tho ... 2am? XO i cn tell ... tigers officially taking highballs in the middle of the night ...

u know i had a feeling u had something for this guy more than just his reviews (sorry if that sounds whory #><) specially after u suddenly became somewhat anglophile ... but i didnt think ud WRITE it ...

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to IblisTrigger451 [2010-05-22 04:09:26 +0000 UTC]

NOOOOO~ (actually I rly hope no one emails this to him..)

Naw~ it was just lime aid. I’m just naturally crazy so early in the morning.

WHUT! no, no, no, this was just an experiment! I don’t acutely like Yahtzee like that I just wanted to try out the crazy crack idea! (hence the lame lemon.. it's hard to write porn without a chick boner)

Beside he’s like 25 now and I think that 9 year is a little more than acceptable age dif- *remembers that Desmond is 25 years old as well* …well shit..

Hay I’ve been in love with Brittan since I was six “suddenly” is not the right word.

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IblisTrigger451 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2010-05-22 14:13:40 +0000 UTC]

well ... this is the internet hun ... i suggest u put it up somewhere a little more obscure, like one that doesnt hav over 6 million members ...

eww lime ... literally or figuratively?

XD ok ok ... (i dont kno if "crack" is the word for it)

lol n u said yassen grigorivitch is 35

hmm well u didnt tell me that XP

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to IblisTrigger451 [2010-05-22 14:45:07 +0000 UTC]

Gha I know.. maybe it’s one of those say one thing but you do another situations.

Literally you perv, like the green citrus fruit.

(oh come on it’s pretty nuts)

Gha.. Why don’t I like men my age? They’re ether to young or waaaay to old..

Didn’t think it was that important

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IblisTrigger451 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2010-05-22 14:55:51 +0000 UTC]



ahh itll be better when u go out when u start having relationships fur real right now ur just fantasizing XP at least most of ur toys r human (well they are now at least) my slaves r a fox, a wolf, n a hedgehog XP (n soon a raccoon )

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to IblisTrigger451 [2010-05-24 03:33:42 +0000 UTC]

yes, that's it!

I hope your right..

pft yha but thare human-like so it mostly ok~

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IblisTrigger451 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2010-05-24 04:58:10 +0000 UTC]

it will be ^^

heh yea i guess silver less than the others XP

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to IblisTrigger451 [2010-05-24 05:09:24 +0000 UTC]

Oh~ oh, trig!

Btw guess who’s birthday it is today?

I’ll give you a hint.. he’s turning 27 and is still way too old for me but I think you may have been right about me falling from him because I’ve been thinking about him all bloody day..

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IblisTrigger451 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2010-05-24 05:18:15 +0000 UTC]

lol all bloody day huh?

personally the goatie n glasses kinna turns me off, but i guess the hat n charming english drawl justifies it XP

n relax - iv had crushes on 40 yr old men XP

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to IblisTrigger451 [2010-05-24 05:29:15 +0000 UTC]

Yeeeeeeeeees!! and if you had seen some of the things I thought about.. fuuuuuuck I didn’t know my imagination could be that freaking vivid..

Oh well.. how about this? Yahtzee Croshaw sans goatie n glasses = [link]

Any sexier now?



Man it’s too bad he never wants to have kids.. (wait what am I thinking!!!)

But more seriously I think it’s just forbidden apple syndrome that makes me so interested in him.. that and everything else that makes him so desirable.

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IblisTrigger451 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2010-05-24 05:37:16 +0000 UTC]

whutchu talking about? all those pervy stuff u write dont seem vivid enough to u? XP

hmm .... naw (sorry ...)

lol XDDD tigers in her moment; tiger:

u mean forbidden fruit? (forbidden apple ... thats a first ...) well he certainly knows his games, thats certainly desirable. i read an excellent silent hill 2 review of his once for school (yes, for SCHOOL - wud u belive it XDD)

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to IblisTrigger451 [2010-05-24 05:51:18 +0000 UTC]

Hey, you weren’t in my head you have noooooooooooo idea.. I’m taking 360 virtual reality here! I could never capture that in words.. thare simply aren’t enough of them

*Gives up*

~

I was just using literary licence.. (you know how the apple of Eden was forbidden fruit?) rly? what were you doing that made that relevant? (I still have you beat btw I worked two full body pics of Desmond into my summative for anthro)

Btw That picture was him cos-playing that main character from silent hill 2

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IblisTrigger451 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2010-05-24 05:57:31 +0000 UTC]

hehe i kno how u feel ... (not gonna bother go into that ...)

oh ok it was just a synthetic "whatever u wanna write about" paper n of course i chose the video game violence subject (fuckin censors ...) wow u did? full body pics of desmond for what in anthro? (what does a bartender gotta do with the study of humans?)

orly? huh now that i think about it he does look a lot like that. it explains the worn out eyes n saggy hair at least ...

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to IblisTrigger451 [2010-05-24 06:14:06 +0000 UTC]

*Shiver*

oh i see~ what about the manhunt review? that's the one where he talks about video game violence..

I was explaining the ergonomics of the animus for a workplace safety power point pres

yha! And that’s why he shaved his goatee and isn’t in his glasses… X(

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IblisTrigger451 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2010-05-24 06:19:29 +0000 UTC]

naw i just went with whatever came first XP my teacher prolly wuda been more familar with silent hill 2 anyway cuz the horrible (so they say) movie came out around that time

hmm ... i wudve used a real life example to show its possible but ... im supposing u did well on it

hehe at least he showed what he actually looks like

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to IblisTrigger451 [2010-05-24 06:31:30 +0000 UTC]

oh ok~ (don’t mind my obsessive amount of ZP knowledge)

it was fun.. I nearly passed out laughing when I realized what I was getting away with though..

yes~ *nom* he’s also a lot nicer in person. I think his fans make him out to be much more of a dick than he rly is..

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IblisTrigger451 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2010-05-24 06:35:26 +0000 UTC]

XD im surre u did ...

if u dont mind me askin, how wud u know? (not trying to interrogate u, just wonderin if u rly met him or somthn ...)
heh thats probably one of the primary reasons why they love him XD

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to IblisTrigger451 [2010-05-24 06:44:53 +0000 UTC]

Simple I’ve watched a lot of his interviews and when he’s not scripted himself into his character he acts a lot more passively than his avatar dose in the reviews. Also he’s no afraid to take this piss out of anything, even himself. he often joke about how he’s no any good in bed. (which is a lie) and generally make fun of himself any everyone around him. Also he looks at everything so calm and critically and always knows and sticks with his opinion..

Fuck I’m gushing now…

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IblisTrigger451 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2010-05-24 06:52:47 +0000 UTC]

ah ... he certainly sounds confident with himself, tho thats not necessarily "nice"

uhh literally or in words? XDD (sorry bad repetition ...)

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to IblisTrigger451 [2010-05-24 07:08:01 +0000 UTC]

Hay, I sied “nicer” as in yahtzee terms of being nice.

I wonder if I tried rly hard if I could manage to reach over and lamp you one thought this screen?

No trig I’m totally leaking bodily fluid all over my keyboard and telling you about it!*

Ghaaaaaaaaaaaa~ your to perv for you own good!

(*I was totally being sarcastic on that line in case you missed that 2)

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IblisTrigger451 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2010-05-24 07:12:57 +0000 UTC]

ah - n i cn guess what his definition of nice is ^w6

XDDDDDD success! tiger is officially nega-spazzed at *looks at watch* approximately 3 in the morning ^w^ jk jk ...

relx now ur the one that makes ovulation jokes XP

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to IblisTrigger451 [2010-05-24 07:24:33 +0000 UTC]

Also he tried to be fair to everything~ He’s an unbiased critic..

……I was up till 4 am last night 2… gha!

Ovulation is a natural process! And for the record I have yet to really frost my pants over him.. I just want to glomp him like mad! And sit in his lap.. or rest my head in it when he’s playing video games..

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IblisTrigger451 In reply to Tangerine-Catnip [2010-05-24 07:28:37 +0000 UTC]

so i cud tell ^^

dah ahm not surprahsed ...

pteh i wud think ud want to do more than that ur just not telling me ... (not saying u hav to 0_0)
damm u got me suddenly craving seans juice ... i havnt banged him in weeks >o<

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Tangerine-Catnip In reply to IblisTrigger451 [2010-05-24 07:37:22 +0000 UTC]

Laaaaaaaate the sun will be up soon..

The weird thing is my fave fantasies are not the sex but just teasing him.. you know like walking around making dinner for him half naked or lying out on the sofa posing lustfully when he trying to play games..

trigy miss her wolf meat? XD

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