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tehsilentguy — it always hurts ...
Published: 2012-09-20 01:51:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 6119; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 9
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WARNING! contains brutal pain and hilariously stupid facial expressions. watch at your own risk ... or just laugh at their own miseryit's just as you see. basically, Raku kicking a dude and a chick in the crotch. and then giving off a disturbingly manly expression at the end
o3o this is, pretty much, a nod to the brilliant mind that is nutsvsguts, causing pain to sensitive areas of both genders for our own horrible, demented sick enjoyment and pleasure
o_o the brutal violence here? yeah. this is toned down. o3o seriously, it's the least brutal that i could get with Raku. a single kick in the crotch from him would cause instant death no matter who you are. his physical strength even breaks through cups of any kind! even steel! o_o but i didn't want to show skeletons with balls/ovaries dangling from their mouths, being popped out from their mouths no matter how disturbingly hilarious it would be. o3o so i toned it down ...
and it still causes death 
o_o and those 2 random people? ... o3o meh, i'll just give them random names since they were made from nowhere. the jerky red haired dude is Chester and the tan skinned, light blue haired chick is Lemony. o_o didn't want them to feel bad being nameless ... o3o besides, they already feel pain. and one is dead
all OCs shown belong to me, tehsilentguy
i don't own any references shown (Sun-Ken Rock, Sexy Ryu, etc.)
now enjoy some Sexy Ryu
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*in the apartment*
Mitch: *watching TV*
Guy on TV: *gyrating* YEAH!!!
Mitch: No. *changes channel*
Jonathan: *walks in* Watchin' TV?
Mitch: What else is there to do?
*pictures of sad dogs and cats on the TV*
Jonathan: OH BEARD GUY CHANGE THE CHANNEL!!!
Mitch: *tear rolling down face* Too late...
Woman on TV: Hi, I'm Clara McCullen.
Jonathan: *breaks TV* YOU CAN'T HURT ANYONE ANYMORE....
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Mitch: o.O Oh come on!!!
Jonathan: o_o Eh, we'll get another one tomorrow *throws the broken TV out the window*
a congressman: *skipping gaily* I can't wait to approve that law that bans large foods and drinks forever *gets crushed horribly by the TV* @3@ HARRR DURF BHALJRRAJGGGHHH POTATOES *teeth fall out*
some kid: Haw haw! *a random plane crushes him*
Mitch: ._. What now?
Jonathan: *checks his pants and takes out random junk* Radio, Old Laptop, Death's Scythe, O3O ooh, gum!
Mitch: .___. From your pants?!
Jonathan: -_- These things have wrappers, you know? *throws a stick of gum at Mitch*
Mitch: ._. It's all warm ... *eats the gum* o3o Hey, fried chicken! o_o Wait ...
Jonathan: *chewing gum* ._. Why does this seem so familiar ...
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*a big white puff of smoke poofs from Mitch and Jonathan*
Mitch and Jonathan: *now girls* O.O *looks at each other* AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *points at each others chests*... AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *look at themselves in the mirror* ... AAAAAAAAAA-
Mitch: Wait! Wait! Listen to our voices...
Jonathan: ... THEY'RE GIRLIER...
Mitch and Jonathan: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Angry neighbor: *busts in with a baseball bat* WOULD YOU TWO- O.o AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Mitch and Jonathan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
*several minutes later*
Mitch: *silently screaming because they lost their voices*
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Jonathan: *coughing* ... *takes out a bottle of water from her pants and drinks some water* O_O Oh, sweet relief ...
Mitch: O3O *chugs down the water* @3@ My throat ... O_O we're girls again!
Jonathan: This is just like back when we were being experimented! We ate that gum and became totally hot!
Mitch: But it ended after a couple minutes ... ._. and we screamed for a couple minutes ... O_O What if this is permanent?!
Jonathan: No way! That scientist guy said it wasn't! o3o We could do some things to pass the time.
Mitch: o_o Oh yeah, that scientist gave us those names ... o3o let's look at stupid videos from that old laptop you took out of your pants
several stupid videos later ..
Michelle: o.o Nothing ...
Joan: ._. And after watching several remakes of Meow Cat ... o3o Radio? *holding a radio*
a few minutes later ...
Radio: *playing a stupid soap opera* I'm afraid i can't make it, my love ...
Michelle and Joan: O_O Romero, no!!!!!! O.O *gasps at each other* We're turning into chicks!
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Michelle and Joan: O.O AAAAAAAAAAAA-
*several minutes later AGAIN*
*in the cafe*
Beth: *happily serving customers* I feel so happy today~ ^^
Michelle and Joan: *run into the cafe screaming their heads off*
Beth: ... *sighs* Wait, what happened to you guys?
Michelle: Not guys!
Joan: Girls! See!? *points at her chest*
Michelle: I swear, those things look disgusting on us.
Nicole: *enters cafe* Hi, everybody!
Michelle and Joan: NICO-! *stops abruptly* *look on their heads*
Joan: Where's the hardhat?... *searching her and Michelle's hair* WHERE'S THE HARDHAT!?
Michelle: It doesn't work now... YOU IDIOT!!! *starts punching Joan in the face* WHY DID YOU HAVE THAT STUPID GUM IN YOUR PANTS!?!?!
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Joan: @3@ I DUNNO!!!!!!
Nicole: o.O What in the ...
Beth: ._. Apparently, that's Mitch and Jonathan ... but as girls ... o.o and they're very scared and worried from the looks of it ...
Nicole: o.O Wait, what!?!?!?!
Michelle and Joan: *hysterically beating each other up*
some guy: O3O Catfight! *gets attacked by a cat with an afro* AAAUGUGAUGAAAHAGUAGAHUGAU!!!!!!
Beth: o_o ... ._. I don't know how it happened ...
Nicole: 
Michelle and Joan: @3@ asdsfsgjsajjagaggnj-O_O Ah! I broke a nail! *gasps at each other* O.O AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
Beth: o_o I think they're surprised that they're turning more girlier by the second. And im not sure how this is happening either ...
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Michelle and Joan: *stop fighting*
Michelle: Dude, I mean, Girlfriend, let's just face it. We're gonna have these lady pecs forever.
Joan: yeah. Now that Nicole isn't hot anymore for some reason, there's no point...
Michelle: Shall we resign to our fate?...
Joan: Let's...
Michelle: *looks up and smiles* And you wanna know how?...
Joan: Oh yeah...
Michelle and Joan: MAKEOVERS AND SHOPPING!!!!
*montage of Michelle and Joan shopping at malls, getting nails and hair done, going to spa with rarity being there for some reason with Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison plays in the background [link] )
LATER...
Beth: Man, those girls have been away for a while now.
Michelle: *from outside* Prepare for FABULOUS-NESS!!
Joan: AND SASSY-NESS!!!
Michelle: *walks in with a woman's leather jacket, a red tank top, black skinny jeans and high heels*
Joan: *walks in with a blue camisole, a dark blue skirt and high heels*
All the men in the cafe: *jaws drop*
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Beth: O.O *jaw drops so low that the floor breaks*
Nicole: O.O Holy ... *takes a picture with her phone*
the men in the cafe: *wearing hard hats* YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Michelle and Joan: *posing like models who deserve to be dead for their arrogance*
a random guy: *suddenly has a tux on* Would the both of you like to go out with me?
another random guy: *suddenly has sexy hair* THEY WANT ME!
other guys: NO ME!!!!
a fancy looking old guy: I supersede all of you, for i have a fancy mustache!
an anthro squirrel: WELL I HAVE A TAIL!!!!! *puts on some brass knuckles*
the guys: *beating each other up recklessly like morons*
Beth and Nicole: o.O ...
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Michelle: *walks over to a table* Would you EXCUSE me? You're sitting in my table.
Death: *sitting at that table* Do you really think this is your table?...
Joan: Hey, buster! Why don't you get up from this table and go back home and cry cause you get this!? *points at herself*
Death: *stares at them intensely*
Michelle and Joan: O.o *leave and go to another table*
Michelle: Waitress! A DIET Sprite please!
Joan: One Coke ZERO, chop chop!
Beth: O.o They never ordered their sodas with less sugar. *gives them the drinks*
Michelle and Joan: *take the drinks and ignore her*
Beth: Ummm..
Michelle: UMMM Would you MIND getting out my PERSONAL SPACE?
Joan: Yeah, you're face is really GROSSING ME OUT.
Beth: Mitch... Jonathan... this isn't like you.
Michelle: What'd I just say about my PERSONAL FACE, Elephant face!?
Joan: YEAH, WHATEVER...
Beth: *walks away to Nicole* This is awful... They're acting and talking like complete valley girls who get off by looks and have an extremely shallow personality...
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Nicole: O_O I know! This isn't like them ... ._. and they're giving a bad name to beautiful women everywhere! We're not mindless jerks who care for only looks and showing off and stuff!
some guy: I'll pay you 200 million bucks to marry me *takes out a card showing proof of his wealth*
Nicole: O3O Money!!!! *barks like a dog*
Beth: *slaps Nicole in the back of the head with her trunk and throws a heavy dumbbell at some guy*
some guy: *head gets knocked off by the dumbbell* AAAAAAAGGHHH!!!!!
Nicole: ._. I hate myself now ...
some guy: *suddenly grows a monster headto take his original head's place* ._. Jerk *walks away*
Michelle and Joan: *laughing arrogantly while enjoying their sugarless drinks*
Nicole: What do we do about this???
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Beth: Let me think...
Nicole: Think faster, Beth! You're an elephant, you guys have brains the size of trucks!
Beth: I know, I know! ... *gasps* I got it!
*at the apartment*
Nicole: Isn't this breaking and entering?
Beth: No, we're not here to take something... Wait, we are actually.
Nicole: But what?
Beth: *holds up Jonathan's pants* These!
Nicole: O.o... I didn't know you liked Jonathan that way.
Beth: No! We're here for these! *takes packs of gum out of the pants* We're gonna use fire with fire!
Nicole: I remember the last time that happened. My entire village burned down...
Beth: What?
Nicole: O.O N-nothing!
Beth: Well, let's just take this and see what happens. *chews on a piece of gum*
Nicole: *takes a piece and chews on it*
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Beth: o_o You feel any different?
Nicole: ._. Nope. O_O But this gum tastes just like fried chicken!
Beth: o.O Fried chicken?! I-o_o oh wait, it's flavored ... it doesn't actually have the ingredients, does i-
*big poof*
Nicole: *now a very handsome bishie* o_o ... O_O *looks at a mirror and a hardhat pops up* O.O I'M SUPER HOT!!!!!!
Beth: O.O SWEET MOTHER OF-o_o wait *looks at a mirror and sees that she's a handsome, buff male anthro elephant ... with a hardhat* O.O SO AM I!!!!!! =_= Wait, how come i am beautiful and ripped as a man, but chubby and undesirable as a woman?!
Nicole:
Beth: 
Nicole:
real life ladies wearing hardhats:
Nicole: o_o Nicholas or Nikolai ... o3o hard choice. And you could be ... Burt?
Beth: o_o Nope. That would be copyright infringement
*random cutaway of 4 penguins shooting everything with heavy metal machine guns with explosions in the background*
Beth: o_o I'll just go with Bertram
Dazy: *pops out of Jonathan's pants*
Beth and Nicole: O.O NO, WAIT!!!!
and then ...
Michelle and Joan: *surrounded by guys*
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Michelle: OH my GOSH. We are LIKE the HOTTEST things EVER.
Joan: I LIKE KNOW, right?
Michelle: *to a guy* Hey, you PRETTY BOY. Give me some MONEY so I can spend it INCONSIDERATELY.
A guy: Yes, my red-headed queen! *gives her a suitcase full of money*
Michelle: OH my GOSH. THANK YA. *takes money* Now GET OUT of my life, you're WORTHLESS to me.
A guy: *giggles and goes through the wall*
Joan: I am LIKE so getting a MANICURE on these dumbos MONEY.
Michelle: You said it, GIRLFRIEND.
*male versions of Nicole, Beth, and Dazy walk in slow-motion wearing matching black suits and sunglasses*
Michelle and Joan: O.o *hardhats fall on their heads*
Dazy: Hi, there, pretty ladies. I'm Dan. *unbuttons his shirt a bit*
Michelle and Joan: *jaws drop so far down, they end up hitting Satan on the head*
Satan: *gets hit* Hey!
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Beth: *also has his shirt unbuttoned a bit* Call me Bertram ...
Michelle and Joan: O.O Rippling muscles and good looks ...
Nicole: *same thing, but more seductive* And I'm Nick ...
Michelle and Joan: o.O *drooling a river*
Nicole: ._. Wow, they really are shallow
Beth: o_o They even fell for me ... and im an elephant
Dazy: o3o This is fun. And "Nick"?
Nicole: o_o Yeah, it's short for both Nicholas and Nikolai,
a bunch of random girls wearing hardhats: *barges in* IYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
random guys: o.O Those guys are after my girls!!!!
random girls: O_O Those girls are after my guys!!!
the random people: *suddenly dressed as warriors* YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! *starts violently attacking each other*
some pink haired guy: *walks in front of the war, clears his throat, and talks like Morgan Freeman* A violent gender war had started on the townspeople within this cafe in this city. Now listen to the sound of my voice as i explain the consequences of war. You see-
Beth: =_= Hey, this episode isn't about these people! *moves the camera back to the 2 drooling lady idiots*
some pink haired guy: *regular voice* 
Michelle and Joan: O.O *drooling like morons*
Dazy: Do you like what you see, ladies? *has a typical bishounen look that makes girls fangasm*
Beth: Well? *also has a typical bishounen look that makes girls fangasm*
Nicole: *has a gorgeous look with exaggerated effects that make fangirls have repeated fangasms* Do you?
Michelle and Joan: ADURRR HRAHHEUUHDF HAP HAR DURRRFFFFHH *babbling lovestruck nonsense with stupid looks*
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Beth: So... *gets close to them* How about you girls come with us for a little while?...
Michelle and Joan: *shaking their heads rapidly*
Beth: Well, now that you've agreed... NICOLE, DAZY, NOW!!!
Nicole and Dazy: *puts bags over Michelle and Joan's heads*
Michelle and Joan: EHHHH!?
Joan: I can't, like, SEE!
Michelle: Well, if that's the kind of things you hot guys like...
Joan: Yeah, I can do ANYTHING YOU WANT...
LATER...
*in the apartment*
*Beth, Nicole, and Dazy, still males, put Michelle and Joan in the center of the living room*
Michelle: So, hot stuff, what are we gonna be doing?
Joan: How about roleplaying? I'll be the the tax collector and you'll be the mailman!
Beth: Wait, what?...
Nicole: Bertram, the plan!
Beth: Oh right!
Dazy: Muffins! *starts eating them*
Nicole: Where'd you get those?
Beth: There's no time! Now, girls, we'll gone on as much dates with you...
Michelle and Joan: *gasps happily*
Beth: And buy all the things you want...
Michelle and Joan: *gasps more happily*
Beth: All at the unreasonable expense of our own money even though while so many feminists advocate for equal treatment, they still expect men to pay the bill.
Michelle and Joan: *gasps so hard that they each suck in a piece of the wall*
Beth: ALL YOU HAVE TO DO *takes out two pieces of gum* is chew this gum.
Michelle and Joan: OK! *chews gum*
Michelle: This, like, tastes funny.
Joan: Yeah, like... sushi.
*a puff of smoke poofs from Michelle and Joan*
*Mitch and Jonathan are now boys again*
Mitch: Hey, we turned back!
Jonathan: YAY! But where did you guys get this?
Beth: Well, I have a friend of mine who works at the new Science Institute since you guys destroyed the old one and accidentally killed all the scientists. She produced a gum that tastes like sushi that turns you back to your original gender. Now then...
Beth, Nicole, and Dazy: *each take a strip of chewing gum and a puff of smoke poofs around them* *turn back to girls*
Mitch: YAY! Nicole's a chick again!
Jonathan: *looks outside* Wow. It's like gender warfare out there. Should we help?
Mitch: Why bother? There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I see the worst in people. I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people. I don't need to look past seeing them to get all I need. I've built up my hatreds over the years, little by little. And I can't keep doing this on my own. With these umm... people. *starts laughing*
Jonathan: ... Dude, that was pretty dark and cynical. Where'd that come from?...
Beth: You guys are wearing girl's clothes.
Mitch and Jonathan: *look down and realize it* *cover themselves and start laughing nervously*
Mitch: But you girls are wearing men's clothing.
Nicole: Yeah, but we pull it off.
Dazy: *puts on sunglasses* *in a deep voice* Swag.
THE END... OF EPISODE.
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that was probably the longest I've ever written for one portion of an episode.
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Yeah. So I think that next episode should be the season finale since we've written 20 something episodes.
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I guess I did. Anyways, the season finale should be where we find it what Mitch and Jonathan's jobs are.
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o3o what are their jobs anyway?
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I go Mitch's job. You come up with Jonathan's. At the beginning of the episode, they split of and go to their jobs. I'll write for Mitch while you write Jonathan's. At the end, they come back at the apartment and are exhausted
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o3o lol ... although i got nothing at the moment
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just think of a job that you'd like to have
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well, I'll give you an example. Mitch is a writer for a newspaper because I LIKE to write. What do YOU like to do?
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you work for an animation studio for a cartoon show.
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o3o kewl ... but what animation studio and whatever? is it a part of something bigger? o_o i don't know these things ... o3o although it could be random
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just a random studio for a random cartoon.
*in the apartment. Morning*
Mitch and Jonathan: *sleeping peacefully in their beds*
*Mitch's phone plays Winter Wrap-up for an alarm*
Mitch: *turns off alarm and gets up* *walks over to the calender* UGGGGH!!!
Jonathan: *gets up* What's up?
Mitch: Well, you are now. but that's not the point.
Jonathan: What is then?
Mitch: *makes a dramatic turn* IT'S WORK DAY....
Jonathan: ... OH NOOOOOOOO...
Mitch: What was with that passive response?
Jonathan: Beats me.
Some guy: *gets up from Jonathan's bed* YOU TELL ANYONE I BEAT YOU, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GET...
Jonathan: Yes Charlie...
Charlie: GOOD *jumps out the window*
Mitch: O.o What was that!?
Jonathan: I dunno.
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Mitch: ... ._. I won't ask ...
and then ...
Jonathan: *eating an oversized piece of toast*
Mitch: ._. Well, we have to work now
Jonathan: But i like being a lazy good for nothing loser *eats it all in one bite and belches loudly*
Mitch: You said it. ._. But then again, we need money *turns the TV on*
TV: *some guy comes out of the TV*
some guy: Finally ... after 13 years!!! Thank you, kind and noble young men ...
Jonathan: ._. I hate this channel *changes the channel*
some guy: o.O WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! PUT THAT CHANNEL BACK ON, YOU SON OF A B-
TV: *shows the news*
Mitch: O3O Hot newswoman!
TV: *explodes horribly*
Mitch: .___. ... We had our TV stolen, busted, taken over by an infamous computer virus, and destroyed numerous times. And 3 days ago, one of our TVs grew limbs and ran off to get married!
*random cutaway of a TV relaxing at a tropical beach with his unbelievably gorgeous human wife, drinking from a coconut*
Mitch: ._. But exploding by itself?!
Jonathan: o_o Must've been that channel. ._. Well it's about time for work now
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Mitch: OK *goes in room* *comes out wearing a dress shirt with rolled up sleeves, a red tie, and suspenders with dress pants*
Jonathan: Why are you dressed up like that?
Mitch: Haven't you see any cartoons lately? ALL newspaper people dress up like this!
Jonathan: Oh yeah. Well, I better get to the studio.
Mitch: Should we get hug each other goodbye?
Jonathan: ARE YOU CRAZY!? Of course!
Mitch and Jonathan: *cry in each other's arms as they leave to go to work*
*a building that says BOX NEWS Newspaper*
Mitch: *enters an office*
Editor: MITCH! We need you to write this story! *gives him a paper*
Mitch: *reading it* But this is all a bunch of lies!
Editor: SO!?
Mitch: You seriously can't expect people to believe that Mayor Pig Ghost is secretly alive...
Editor: NEVER MIND THAT! YOUR JOB IS TO WRITE AND NOT THINK!
Mitch: But I thought journalism was about informing people with facts and precious reasoning. Also, I think we should- *suddenly sitting at his desk in front of a typewriter* -Oh, I guess I'm now.
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meanwhile, at a stupid looking building ...
Jonathan: *arrives* o_o Here i am again ... -_- This should be interesting in a way *walks in*
a tall thin guy: *walks by* Whoa, Jonathan, you're on time for once!
Jonathan:
and then, at a meeting room ...
some important guy: Before we get to new cartoon ideas, i have some news. We're importing a new show from Japan and we're dubbing it! *shows the title and an awesome pic* Now let's make it into something kids like!
a tall thin guy: I suggest getting well known dubbers who really know how to get in character
Jonathan: ._. And don't censor out any of the good stuff!
some important guy: -_- All we hear is garbage from you 2! You! Anything good?
guy in a suit: Kids these days love rap and hip hop, so throw out the nonsense theme music that we don't understand and put in some good music!
guy in a suit 2: Or we could get a fun pop song!
guy in a suit: o3o Good idea. Let's go with Micki Ninja. We could get both hip hop and pop!
an ugly guy: Those words rhyme!!!
a tall thin guy: *facepalm*
Jonathan: o_o Or instead of putting in something deafening to the ears, you could just dub the opening music in english. It'll save more time and money.
some important guy: *on the phone* O3O We got Micki Ninja!!!
everyone but Jonathan and the tall thin guy: *cheering like morons*
a tall thin guy: ._. I feel sorry for kids today
Jonathan: ._. Same here, dude
meanwhile ...
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(when I said he worked for an animation, I meant a cartoon like regular show. kids aren't going to get anime.)
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(o3o kids won't get the feminism gags either. and besides, it's aimed for both kids and pre-teens. o_o the stupid building thingy is really a production company overall, as well as animation for other cartoons.
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(yeah, but your job at the animation place is an animator, not a writer or anything. you just draw. example.)
meanwhile, at a stupid looking building ...
Jonathan: *arrives* o_o Here i am again ... -_- This should be interesting in a way *walks in*
a tall thin guy: *walks by* Whoa, Jonathan, you're on time for once!
Jonathan: hey, Mr. Thinman! o_o The only half-sane guy here ...
Mr. Thinman: Well, Jonny boy!-
Jonathan: That's not my name-
Mr. Thinman: Let's get to work!
Jonathan: *sitting at a desk with a pencil and paper* all right, what do I draw today, sir?
Mr. Thinman: *gives him an overly complex manga drawing* I need you to make 5 of these in an hour. WITH COLOR AND SHADOW.
(you can do the rest of this part of Jonathan's job)
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(o_o kinda wanted to keep that random part ... o3o or better yet, maybe a combo of them both. although he isn't hired as an idea guy ...)
meanwhile, at a stupid looking building ...
Jonathan: *arrives* o_o Here i am again ... -_- This should be interesting in a way *walks in*
a tall thin guy: *walks by* Whoa, Jonathan, you're on time for once!
Jonathan:
Mr. Thinman: Well, Jonny boy!-
Jonathan: ._. That's not my name-
Mr. Thinman: Let's get to work! ._. Right after this meeting ...
and then, at a meeting room ...
some important guy: Before we get to new cartoon ideas, i have some news. We're importing a new show from Japan and we're dubbing it! *shows the title and an awesome pic* Now let's make it into something kids like!
Mr. Thinman: I suggest getting well known dubbers who really know how to get in character
Jonathan: ._. And don't censor out any of the good stuff!
some important guy: -_- All we hear is garbage from you 2! -3- Especially mister blue hair. O3O You! Anything good?
guy in a suit: Kids these days love rap and hip hop, so throw out the nonsense theme music that we don't understand and put in some good music!
guy in a suit 2: Or we could get a fun pop song!
guy in a suit: o3o Good idea. Let's go with Micki Ninja. We could get both hip hop and pop!
an ugly guy: Those words rhyme!!!
Mr. Thinman: *facepalm*
Jonathan: o_o Or instead of putting in something deafening to the ears, you could just dub the opening music in english. It'll save more time and money.
some important guy: Hold on a moment *on the phone* O3O We got Micki Ninja!!!
everyone but Jonathan and Mr. Thinman: *cheering like morons*
Mr. Thinman: ._. I feel sorry for kids today, Joseph
Jonathan: ._. Same here, dude. And it's Jonathan
then ...
some important guy: How's our work with the show with the superhero boys wearing their undies outside?
guy in a suit: Fantastic! Kids just love how bizarre they look and their wacky zaniness!
Jonathan: ._. You could always get me to make it look half decent instead of hiring those gross animators who make everything look hideous
some important guy: *suddenly has a giant, derpy face* SHADDUP!!!
after that ...
some important guy: And finally, any ideas for the show we have with all the references to other shows, movies, and cartoons?
Mr. Thinman: You could always add some original material instead of taking it from everywhere else
some important guy: Henry, one more word out of you and you're outta here!
Mr. Thinman: O_O No, please!
Jonathan: o3o That reminds me!
Mr. Thinman:
Jonathan: O3O Really now?
Mr. Thinman:
Jonathan: ._. Really? o3o I suggest that-
some important guy: Hey, there's still a meeting going on!!!
guy in a suit: I got it! We could add internet references to the show! This way, more kids will get it!
guy in a suit 2: Some shows from other programs made internet characters into shows! And there's that one show that references a ton of internet memes!
*random cutaway of Alfred E. Neuman and a bunch of DC Superheroes with random RAEG faces doing Gangnam Style*
some important guy: PERFECT!
Jonathan: ._. Hey boss, why do you have me here in these meetings? I'm just one of the guys who draws stuff. And any great ideas that i come up with, you just shrug off! What the heck, man?
some important guy: -3- Because you have blue hair! And also, someone needs to have their feelings hurt and ridiculed to the point of having no confidence to work so there can be less pay
Jonathan: .___. Well you're honest, i'll say that
some important guy: MEETING ADJOURNED! Jonathan, go back to drawing for the show we were just talking about! Henry, watch over Jonathan and see that his work is done! *gives Mr. Thinman some papers* Me and the other guys in suits are going to have coffee and cry about how hideous our fat wives are!
Jonathan: ._. I'm treated like garbage. And not the good kind of garbage either
*random cutaway of a fancy looking hobo sitting at a refurbished old table eating a big pile of french fries next to a car tire covered in ketchup*
later ...
Jonathan: *sitting at a desk with a pencil and paper* All right, what do I draw today, sir?
Mr. Thinman:
Jonathan: MOTHER OF CANNIBAL'S MOTHER!!!
Mr. Thinman: 
Jonathan: ._. ... *gets to drawing*
15 seconds later ...
Jonathan: 5 COPIES OF THIS IN AN HOUR?!?! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!!! *karate chops the desk in half out of rage* ORRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHHHH *making a wild mess*
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Meanwhile, at the BOX News building...
Mitch: *typing on a typewriter* *talking as he types* Mayor Pig Ghost has lied to the people of the The City about many issues. He's lied about how high our tax rates are, how much money we're spending, our debt, and all the corruption. But who cares about!? What REALLY matters is that he's alive! Sure, we can talk about how he's stayed in power so un-democratically, but we should focus on the "fact" that's he's not a ghost but a living pig instead! *stops typing* Jeez, is anyone going to even believe this.
*cutaway to conspiracy theorist guy*
Conspiracy theorist guy: I do! I believe in anything that's not proven by facts!
Mitch: ... That guy looks like he could use a shower... and a life.
Some guy in a suit: Hey there, kid. I see what you're writing there.
Mitch: Um, OK?...
Some guy in a suit: Yeah I can't help but feel like you're missing something.
Mitch: And what would that be, sir?
Some guy in a suit: It lacks ADVERTISING. No one's going to buy your paper unless they can get some sweet deals in it. What YOU need... is some MAD MEN.
*The Mad Men theme song [link] starts to play but is abruptly cut off by Mitch*
Mitch: Umm, sir. Kids that are watching these aren't going to get that reference.
Some guy in a suit: Aww, man! Oh well, I better go and hate my life despite how successful I am.
(I think the situation with Jonathan should be that he draws something, it comes to life, and it attacks the studio)
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back at the stupid looking building ...
Jonathan: *randomly shooting stuff with a heavy metal machine gun while laughing maniacally*
Mr. Thinman: *comes back* ._. ... Not again, Johnson ...
Jonathan: *stops* o_o Hey, you try staying sane with this kind of work ... ._. Wait, were you once an artist here?
Mr. Thinman: o3o How'd you know? o.o Oops, my phone's still on *put his candy phone away*
Jonathan: ._. That actually explains a lot of things *notices something* o.O Whoa! *picks up his, surprisingly, undamaged papers* O_O The 5 drawings are complete!
Mr. Thinman: O_O No way!
Jonathan: o_o Must be the new pen i bought *holding a sexy clear blue pen that looks like electricity is moving within* o3o It looks cool and the guy i bought it from convinced me enough
flashback ...
a very creepy man with a nose shaped like a 7: Kukuku ... Hey, little boy, want some demon heart? *holding a pumping heart on his hand*
Jonathan: o.O Whoa mama!!! o_o Ok, first of all, im not little. I'm almost 6 feet tall and im 20 something. Second, o3o How much is it?
a very creepy man with a nose shaped like a 7: $340 ... plus tax
Jonathan: o.O No way!!! o_o Anything free?
a very creepy man with a nose shaped like a 7: Of course. I even have some free stuff i made myself. Hop aboard my bus and i'll show you
Jonathan: ._. He's more disturbing than Cannibal. And that's saying something ...
a very creepy man with a nose shaped like a 7: Kukuku *takes off his fake arm and uses it as a backscratcher*
Jonathan: o3o But hey! Free junk!
back ...
Jonathan:
pen: *does nothing*
Jonathan: ._. Crud
Mr. Thinman:
pen: *still does nothing*
Jonathan: ._. This isn't magic at all! And why would you request th-o_o Wait ... *looks at the papers* o.O These are just the same papers i had to copy!
Mr. Thinman: o.O How could you mistake that for your own drawings?!
Jonathan: O_O i have blue hair!!! o_o Huh? *notices his actual drawing*
his drawing: *comes out of the paper as just a few moving lines*
Jonathan: ._. Whoa ... hey Mr. Thinman, do you see this?
Mr. Thinman: o_o Your actual work came to life ...
Jonathan: O3O Let's try something else! *takes out a blank piece of paper from his pants and draws exactly what he asked the pen to draw* o_o Hey, where's my awesome request?
the half naked pirate rhino lady: Right here, blue hair *eating an ice cream sandwich while holding a flamethrower*
Jonathan: O_O Awesome!
Mr. Thinman: *drawing a beautiful fat lady* O3O Work your magic!
the half naked pirate rhino lady: A fat chick? Really?
the beautiful fat chick: *comes out of the paper* ... Hi ...
Jonathan: O3O Hey, she ain't bad to look at ...
the half naked pirate rhino lady: O_O This is insane! *belches loudly*
Mr. Thinman: It always angered me that fat chicks in cartoons were depicted as hideous monsters
*random cutaway of June The Hutt*
the beautiful fat chick: ... o.O HORRR-*head explodes and horribly mutates into a giant monster off screen since it's too terrifying to show the actual process*
Jonathan: O_O Mother of Beard Guy!!!
Mr. Thinman: ._. Oh yeah, in my old drawing days, i was once the artist for a super violent adult cartoon that showed ordinary people turning into monsters and eating everyone with ketchup as saliva
Jonathan and the pirate rhino lady: o.O What the f-
meanwhile ...
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Mitch: *writing with typewriter* Finally! My column on the human condition is done! It's taken weeks of research, but I finally got it! Pulitzer Prize, here I come!
*paper flies out the window*
Mitch: *stares out the window in silence* ...
Editor: Hey, Mitch! You got the new article do-! ... Hey, what's wrong with you?
Mitch: ...
Editor: *waves his hand across Mitch's face* Hello? Mitch?
Mitch: ... Yes, sir? What can I do for you?
Editor: *a bit freaked out* OK... Um, we got this new JUICY details on the life of Mayor Pig Ghost!
Mitch: Is it fake?
Editor: Yep!
Mitch: All right, I'll get to it since I got no choice.
*all of a sudden, SWAT men are breaking into the building through the windows and the doors*
SWAT Men: FREEZE!
Mitch: *puts his hands up* *looks over to a guy who is actually frozen where he stands* Oh, you're good.
Mayor Pig Ghost: *walks in* Stop the Presses!
Some guy: *was doing bench presses* Ah, man. I was about to get in shape.
Mayor Pig Ghost: This newspaper is officially closed by the office of me, The Mayor of the City!
Mitch: Why?
Mayor Pig Ghost: Because YOU people have written lies about me!
Editor: So? It's freedom of speech. Besides, people by our paper all the time, so there's no reason to stop doing if we make a profit.
Mayor Pig Ghost: DOESN'T MATTER! I'M THE GOVERNMENT AND WHAT I SAY GOES!
Mitch: That doesn't sounds very constitutional, to me.
Mayor Pig Ghost: ... Dude, I am a pig who is also a ghost who is the mayor of a City with no name. You really think we live in the same place they live in? *points at the camera*
*real life shot of a guy watching TV*
Real life guy: ... wait, what?
Mitch: Wow, we haven't done that one in a while.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
meanwhile
a giant hideous beast with various arms: BWWWWOOOAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! *destroys their room*
Jonathan: O_O That is so awesome ...
the half naked pirate rhino lady: O_O I know, right? *eats another ice cream sandwich*
Mr. Thinman: ._. Shouldn't you guys be trying to stop it?
Jonathan: o_o Oh yeah ... but it's not hurting anyone now, right?
a giant hideous beast with various arms: *arms come close to the screen*
Real life guy: *watching TV* O.O Sweet mother of-*gets horribly beat up by the arms coming out of his TV*
the half naked pirate rhino lady: o_o Well it's not hurting anyone important
Jonathan: O_O Do you know how many people watch this show?!
the half naked pirate rhino lady: o3o 10?
Jonathan: =_= That's it, where's the erase button on this cool pen?
the half naked pirate rhino lady: O.O I'll be good *belches*
a giant hideous beast with various arms: *breaks more walls and grabs various people in suits*
Mr. Thinman: O_O He's grabbing the people working here!
guy in suit: O_O Please, no!!! I have a fat ugly wife who hates me even though i make so much money for her ... ._. on second thought, go ahead and eat me. And use some Sweet and Sour dipping sauce
Jonathan: =3= No way! o_o Barbecue Sauce is way better
Mr. Thinman: Jenson!
Jonathan: o_o Oh yeah. =_= Those guys may be worthless to society, but they give me the paper that somehow gives me money!
Mr. Thinman: Well, do something to save your money, George
Jonathan: Ok. Well it's a good thing that-o_o we already know what im about to say, kids *epically takes out his chainsaw sword*
the half naked pirate rhino lady: *takes out her flamethrower* Oh yeah!
a giant hideous beast with various arms: *drops the people he grabbed and destroys the building with its many arms to make more room for an awesome fight* BWWWWWOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGhHHHHHH!!!!
[insert awesome fight scene with random explosions and brutal destruction of random property]
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
AT City County City Jail...
Mitch and Editor: *sitting in jail cell*
Some guy: *playing harmonica* *singing* And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when,I'm stuck in Folsom prison, and time keeps draggin' on
But that train keeps a rollin' on down to San Antone..
Mitch: Shut up, Joaquin Phoenix
Some guy: Awww...
Editor: What do we do now?
Mitch: Why should I get us out of this mess? YOU'RE the one that decided to print lies about the Mayor.
Editor: Well, it's YOUR name on the title card.
*theme song briefly plays*
Mitch: Oh yeah. You got me there. Man, I wonder what Jonathan's doing.
*shows the epic battle between Jonathan, the pirate rhino lady, and the monster for 2 SECONDS*
Mitch: OK, that was too brief! I didn't get anything from that!
Real-life shot of me: Don't you yell at me, young man!
Mitch: Ugh! *turns to another prisoner* What are you in for?
Some guy wearing a mask: I made a perfectly harmless video that seemed to offend people. I'm in here for a year and all I did was express my freedom of speech.
Some other guy: And all I did was keep rain water to myself and I'm in here for two years!
Some other other guy: I stepped on a crack and broke my mother's back! And I HATE my mother! Now I'm in here for 15 years!
*all the other prisoners start talking about the stupid reasons why their in prison*
Mitch: *stands up above all the prinsoners* This is UNACCEPTABLE!!! We can't have a government that's just going force us how to live our lives and throw us in jail for stupid reasons and pass stupid laws that make no sense! Like banning all miniature horses or keeping all the pretzels for themselves!
Prisoners: YEAH!!!
Mitch: In the words of John Locke, The end of law is not to abolish or restrain, but to preserve and enlarge freedom!
Prisoners: In the words of Thomas Jefferson, We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
Prisoners: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Mitch: And in the words of Ronald Reagan, Government is not the solution to our problems; Government IS the problem!!!!
Prisoners: YEAAAAAAAAH!!!!
Mitch: Now whose with me!?
Some prisoner: I'm here cause I stole candy from a baby.
Mitch: OK, you have to stay in here, you sick person. But everyone else, CHARGE!!!!!!
Mitch and the prisoners: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
*a riot begins in the jail*
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Jonathan and the pirate rhino lady: *still fighting the beast as it goes off to destroy the city and eat random people*
a giant hideous beast with various arms: *blocking the attacks with its various arms and destroys various random buildings*
the pirate rhino lady: o.O Nothing's working! *using her flamethrower*
a giant hideous beast with various arms: *arms get burned off, but more arms replace it*
Jonathan: O_O Mr. Thinman, do you have any idea how to beat this thing?!
Mr. Thinman: *following the fight with a stolen flying car* In the stories, they usually got destroyed by either its most important parts being destroyed or having mustard in its mouth
Jonathan: o.O Mustard?! Yuck! o_o I can see why that's a weakness
a pirate rhino lady: o_o I prefer ketchup, like almost everyone else ... ._. clearly, so does this monster. He salivates ketchup!
a random guy: *gets covered in ketchup saliva*
a giant hideous beast with various arms: *destroys the jail, killing nearly every prisoner except for the guy that stole a baby's candy*
Mitch: Oh come on!!!
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Jonathan: Dude, what are you doing here?
Mitch: What are YOU doing here?
Jonathan: Trying to defeat this monster of my own creation, dude. You?
Mitch: Well, I was ABOUT to overthrow the government and topple Mayor Pig Ghost, dude.
Jonathan: Dude.
Mitch: Dude.
Jonathan: Will we EVER refer to each other by our actual names? o_o
Mitch: No.
Jonathan: OK, then.
Mitch: You know what, I'm tired and we've done this a million times already. *takes Death scythe*
Death: I'm gonna need that later. A lot of people are dead now.
Jonathan: Aww...
Mitch: LET'S DO THIS ALREADY!!!!
Jonathan: Yeah!
Mitch and Jonathan: YEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
*Dazy appears with a bubble gun, Cannibal and his scarf, Beth with her flying peanut car standing next to Mitch and Jonathan*
*Lord Com, Wes, Pretzel Man, The Microwave robot thing, the giant mega papayas, and June the Hut appear next to the giant hideous beast with various arms*
*they all prepare to attack and charge at each other just as the screen cuts to real life shots of us*
Matt: Hi, I'm Matt.
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Jeyson: o3o And I'm Jeyson
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
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