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Tenshi-no-Hikari β Time for The Talk
Published: 2013-06-24 15:45:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 163056; Favourites: 7020; Downloads: 312
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Loki brings home Sleipnir after giving birth to him. <3Frigga thinks it's finally about time they explain to Loki where the babies come from and how to use protection. xD
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Comments: 1020
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I love that traumatized, exhausted look. I've given birth without any painkillers...and that's the look.
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Sleipnir is cute, Thor is confused, Odin is shocked, Frigga wants to give Loki the talk, and poor Loki is tired with a face that reads, "never again."
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Hey, you're gonna get a badass steed out of it, Odin.
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Loki, don't let anyone tell you that you're making mistakes! WE LOVE ALL YOUR CHILDREN!
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Uh Frigga, I think it's a little too late for that. How would a horse use protection anyway? Are there horse-size condoms? Do they have birth control for horses? I know Loki shapeshifted into a horse and had sex with another horse but I could never understand how Sleipnir ended up with eight legs. Seriously, how does that poor thing even walk?! Thor is just happy to be an uncle.
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When does anything related to Loki make sense? He is the god of mischief and lies~!
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He's also probably insane.
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Actually, yes. Β Horse breeders use them.
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Oh really, well, you learn something new everyday I guess.
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Including the things you didn't want to learn.
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I've been staring at this for five minutes and I just noticed the many many legs xD
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And then, Loki had Fenris, that serpent thing (I don't know how to spell his name), and Hel
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And in the corner.....Innocent looking Thor
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You're telling me
He's 1,000 years old
And you never gave him the talk?
Dafaq?
Probably sure he's figured out sex and shit anyways lmao.
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Exactly! ItΒ΄s Too Late! He Already Knows Where "They" Come From!!
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The horse is out of the barn, so to speak.
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Women: Men don't know the pain we women have to go through while giving birth.
Loki: I'd have to wholeheartedly disagree.
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It's different for horses though, plus Loki shape-shifts. It usually takes horses less than an hour, whereas humans take six on average. Still, a very funny comment though.Β
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Hang on, hang on! I know this one! Something in mythology about an eight-legged horse ... urrgh I read something about it in Saxon mythology or something ....
pfff yeah that's about it for my amazing legends knowledge Β
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As if this couldn't get anymore complicated, sometime in the future, Loki is going to get Mother's day gifts from Sleipnir, and Father's day gifts from Fenris and JΓΆrmungandr.
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I thought he bore 4 children and sired 2 which were Narfi and Vali
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Well, I only know of three kids. Now Loki's going have to take a paternity test! "Is the child his?" "Who is the mother" and other soap opera drama!
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Yeah his 6 kids are Hel, Fenrir, Jormungandr, Sleipnir, Vali, and Narfi.
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Right, I keep forgetting about Hel. And I didn't know about Vali and Narfi.
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So thors all like 'Mum are you making pancakes today?' And Lokis all like 'never AGAIN' and Freda's all like 'but I'm not to sure if he's ready...' And idioms all like 
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So let me get the straight....A frost giant, gave birth to a 8 legged horse?
You can't explain that.
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Loki is traditionally a shapeshifter.
I don't know the exact story but he transformed into a female horse and was raped by a male horse. He carried the foal to term and gave birth to Sleipnir. He then returned to human form.
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So he was away from home for nine months...?
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"Taking the form of a young mare, Loki lured the stallion into a thicket and made sure that he remained there until the next day. When Svadilfari returned to his master it was too late to complete the work.
Months later, Loki returned to Asgard. He brought with him a gray colt with eight legs, the foal of Loki the mare and Svadilfari the stallion."
Apparently yes.
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It was Odin's idea, because the horse was required to build a huge thing. The builder basically said "If I can build it in such a time, you have to pay me, but if I take too long, it's free." So Odin goes, "LOKI, M'BOY! Turn into a sexy female horse and distract that workhorse of his!" And Loki's response is "Yeah, sure, I can probably avoid getting-OH MY GOD IT'S HUGE HELP ME!"
So the horse was distracted, the building was free, and Odin got a cool new horse to ride around on, which was also his grandchild. And its half-siblings were a colossal wolf that bit Tyr's hand off and a snake so huge it sleeps wrapped around the entire planet. Go team Loki!
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The whole "Rebuild Asgard's walls after a frostgiant attack in a very short deadline so the promised prize of getting Freya as a wife will be unwinnable" was Loki's idea. So when the giant-in-disguise craftsman's super-powerful workhorse Svadilfari was making the possibility of losing their village tramp goddess very likely, Loki volunteered to "distract" it. The craftsman was enraged, turned back into a giant, tried to attack the gods, but was subdued and the day was saved, the gods once again successfully being evil jerks.Β
By the way, Loki is not Odin's son, nor an adopted son. That's what the silly blockbuster movies do to peoples' perception of Nordic mythology (let's be honest, before the movies only nerdy Marvel fans, and even then only the most boring ones, read and knew of the whole story with Marvel's version of Thor). While we are at it let's make it clear Laufey is Loki's mother, not father.
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This really got me xD 'OH MY GOD IT'S HUGE HELP ME!'
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