TheDemonsThatTemptMe [2019-10-11 18:36:18 +0000 UTC]

Not even sure what/how to say this, but hearing about your distress grieves me gravely and I wish there was something I could do to ease your load (please, let me know if there's ANY WAY I can)!

It's not my place to evaluate an entire dynamic based on tiny snippets of information, but some detail has been enough to raise the concern in me you might, to some extent, have gone through emotional trauma and in that case it's important finding an outlet and having a solid support system. I know these can be hard concerns to hear raised about someone, especially still fresh after breaking, but speaking from own experience: once enough time passes to give you new perspectives on past situations you usually WISH someone (with the likely risk of disagreement or straight up being told off) would have been willing to stick their neck out and raise them ANYWAY (cause often, to even be able to pull through those rough times, we brush things off while simultaneously hoping deep down someone would give a fuck about NOT LETTING US do so). So, despite what other circumstances goes on in and around a relationship, I'm just going to tell you: Neglect, Witholding AND taking advantage of someones forgiving/loving nature and stringing them along for convience (not least to the point of, from what I gather from what you've shared here, to at least some degree [/contributing to] breaking down their very sense of self-confidence/love/worth! ) are ALL variations of Emotinal Abuse & Manipulation.

Those words might - in fact more likely than not - come with the knee jerk reaction to immediately disregard them if they aren't ones you've already seriously contemplated or, perhaps more specifically, exchanged with other people before (which you may have, in which case: great!). It's common that our own conflicting feelings (that are ALL, simultaneously and each separately, VALID) and concerns about someone/something makes it hard for us to realize the extent of the harm the dynamic caused us until we get validation that they're also perceived from someone else's PoV (but most often we, even towards those we care for the most of all, are afraid to use big and scary words to describe what we believe ourselves to see happening to our loved ones - which sadly, in turn and if those worries are legitimate, then risks further amplifying any eventual invalidating thoughts they may already be entertaining themselves and instead contributing to postponing the healing process).

Anyway, I'm babbling on, and basically what I just really wanted to affirm with all of this is that, yes, you TRULY DO deserve being treated with dignity, kindness and respect (by yourself as well as others) and don't you dare forgetting that (ever again)!

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