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The-Gij — ...i need a hug
Published: 2010-12-20 21:21:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 688; Favourites: 16; Downloads: 5
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As some of you may have known....my little yorkie-poo was acting strange.........we took her to the vet...
and got the worst possible news.....
there was a fist sized cancerous tumor in her belly....it was not allowing her to keep anything down.....
Yesterday i sat around her,hoping the doctor would be able to help her today....
the doctor's mom died and he wasn't able to come....
Sarah was to weak to stand.....
She was vomiting up her own shit,she was all backed up
....and dieing.....
She hadn't eaten in days.....
my mom tried feeding her yogert with a little spoon
......*sniff*
but today....at 10:42 we made our decision at the vet....
we had to put her out of her misery
she could barely lift her little head.....
Me,my brother,my Maltese Max,my dad and my mother kissed her goodbye
11:35: my parents walk out with the little blanket she was being held in......Max was completely lost without her and was looking for her.......
My dad had told me the tumor had turned her belly completely purple.....
Please understand if i take a few days to myself......i'm not going to work on anything....i just need to adjust......and maybe a hug would help to
Mange(c) Me
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Comments: 201
Oh...I'm sorry...and...I hope you can work your way through it...it's never easy losing anyone, whether it be human or animal...just...just know that I am, and probably everyone here are, here for you, to give you a shoulder to cry on...
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<3 *sniffle* thank you.....though i've been biting my hand to hold back the tears....
it's almost as if my brain is trying to convince me that this was a dream...or that it didn't happen
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A word of advice: grab the nearest pillow and let the tears flood. You'll feel MUCH better if you do...
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that's just the thing....every time i went to there was nothing there.....i couldn't make myself cry at my own great grand mother's funeral and i can only make my eyes a little watery here
I think you're trying to suppress your emotions...it's a natural thing to want to appear calm and collected to others. Just try to either let it all out or find an outlet. That's what art is for me; why do you think a lot of my art is dark and wierd? Just promise me one thing, ok?
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.......i often suppress stuff....my life is worse than i let on.....
....
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Please...never...NEVER start cutting yourself or go into some sort of personal violence...it isn't fun...when I was younger, I pulled my eyelashes and eyebrows because I had no outlet to express my stress, and I suffered because of it. Ridicule; pain; parents yelling at you because you do it, causing more stress, which causes you to do it more...it's just a vicious cycle...don't get yourself caught up in that...
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Well *snickers* i did pluck out all my eyelashes when i was way younger but that's only cause my grandmother told me they were each worth a wish....
and no...i'm not emo......i just bite my hand when ever i feel i might start crying.....it keeps my mind focused on the pain in my hand
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Eh? You're grandmother was...odd...then...
I guess doing something small like that is alright as long as it doesn't evolve into something worse. Like I said, I use videogames as a form of release. I just concentrate on killing Splinters or Space Pirates and it takes away from the stress.
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*nods*...ah that she was.....
Also....I'm sure it won't.....to be honest i'll most likely repress this along with some other stuff and later i'll be fine
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I'm so sorry to here this. ; ; At least she doesn't have to suffer anymore.
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....true......true....
Oh, honey. This made me cry. 
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*huggles sniffling*
We'll always be here too. It's so upsetting to lose someone you love. -=Cuddles.=-
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*nods* and it didn't help while this was happening that no one was on.....:<
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That always makes it hurt more.
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*nods* and it's not like my family acknowledges me one bit :<
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I know that feeling. My family kind of pushes me out. Like I'm the black sheep. They never listen to me, and they don't encourage anything I want to do. They think art as a career is just hilariously stupid.
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Mmmm...my dad pushes me into drawing for his coworkers cause he thinks i can get him money....other than that all he wants to do is yell at me....he calls me emo and goth but her don't even -know me-
I'm apparently the family's fuck up
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That's how I feel sometimes. I'm generally always alone. I haven't really been close to my parents in a few years or longer. My dad bailed on my family when I was 9.
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HOLY SHIT!
same here.....i was nine and it started 2 days before my 10th bornday O__o
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It had been ongoing with them. My dad started cheating on my mom with someone in the apartment complex we lived in. She found out about it, and that's when it got really down hill. I just turned 9, and when I was 9 and a half I went to live with my grandparents because the state was going to take me and place me in foster care for not going to school and smoking.
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Ah....for me it was just two days away from my tenth bornday....then BOOM! insta-dickholes...no more love for Gijjy.....
And as a little kid it confused me why no one liked me anymore.......it took me a long time to just not care
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I finally broke the barrier. I no longer care. I am perfectly flawed, and content the way I am. So I just hope things work out better for me over time. If not, I am content being alone. I love me, and that's what matters.
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^^ yeah....well I'm cool with being alone in the sense that I'm asexual and have no interest in anyone 'like that'
though...i haven't really had real life friends in years........that still really bothers me...in a jthm-ish kind of way
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Understandable. I lost pretty much all of my real life friends. My BFF moved out of state, and the only other friend I had wanted to be more than friends, and I shot him down, so now he is mad at me. I think really all I want from a relationship is companionship. Someone to share things with. Really the only time "that" ever plays into anything is if the relationship holds a strong bond. My ex and I were very close. I did things I'd never do for anyone else. Only because I felt like he's the one. We'll have to see though. Still working on seeing where that is going to go.
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Mmmmm i don't care fr looks or shallow things......
I'd just take someone smart...not annoying,someone who just clicked with me and knew romance meant nothing to me....
*ahem*
but no one like that exists.....so i stay alone
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I know what you mean. My ex had all the things I admired and found attractive. His personality is what made him handsome. I found him physically attractive too, but you know, that wasn't what made me fall in love with him. I had a major crush on him before I ever saw his face.
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Ah...
for me i don't have an opinion of attractive.....
plus i've never tried dating.....
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Well, my ex I've been in love with for 6 years. Which is why I find him so attractive. I never cared for physical beauty at all.
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.....*sigh*
even if i found such a person they'd most likely find me more macabre than charming
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Everyone has someone out there. I just hope he and I will get back together. At this point it feels like he's always been my someone. So life without him is dysfunctional.
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eh.....i really don't even think i should look.....I'd probably would fail miserably....i think i'd rather spare myself the embarrassment
my life has basically proved to me that every time i smile something horrific happens....
not saying i don't smile....i wear a big 'ol fake one 24/7
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I know that feeling. My day was going great til just now. I love how my family can sit around and make fun of me til the point of tears. Then when I start crying they call me a baby. I really wish I had somewhere else to go.
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....:<
that's why i hold my tears in....
the dad calls me 'goth' and 'emo' but really has no idea who 'I' am
*hugs*
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-=Hugs close.=-I hold so many tears in that it wells up, and just, flows out of me without me being able to control it. I also just noticed it's the anniversary of my breakup, which doesn't make it much better. At least I have therapy today, so I cam get away from here. Also, thank you so much for the points. Means a lot to me.
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^^ anytime
Hmmm....watch'cha going to therapy for if you don't mind me asking
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Bipolar type one. Another reason I wish my family wouldn't provoke me. They think it's funny I guess. Most of them think Bipolarity is a joke, and not a real mental disorder.
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Ah....
man....i couldn't bring myself to go in for that type of thing....
do you know how tempting it is having an axe and a shit load of sharp knives in my room?
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I wonder myself sometimes. I have a sword, double edged, stashed under my bed.
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:/ ah....
well,that's why i try to stay calm...i repress shit so i can wonder around worry free
O__o cause i can be a scary person when I'm pissed
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Me too. I have never gotten physically violent, but they try my patience, and I was prone to self abuse. So I'm sure that could be reflected outward onto other people easily. I try to walk away and turn the other cheek, but it gets so hard. I may be moving in April though, so that will be good. For now I just need to save money, so I can have $92 for a train ticket.
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Ah
one time i got like that....it was at one of the ghetto neighbor kids....they were blaring their music for days on end...but what broke me was they let their dog shit on our lawn.....
i had stepped in it....and let me tell ya....it's hard to get off your boots....
Normally I'm a calm quiet shy person but that day i marched my skinny ass over there and punched a child much younger than me in the face......i had did a lot of cursing,kicking and yelling too but it's hard to remember...that was years ago
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I'm more self abusive than anything. When I get angry, I punch tings, not people. I once chunked the corner of a brick wall, and honestly surprised I didn't break my hand. My knuckles were busted up though. I was bleeding all over the place.
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O__o ah
I try to hold things inside but some people are just so stupid i burst......and i am one crazy angry person....
hell i've had daydreams where i kill my dad
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I'm pretty sure come April if I have the chance to leave I am going to take it. I just can't take the constant put downs around here.
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<:3 best of luck to ya.....i'd pay out the ass to get out of this hell hole
I'm not even allowed outside of my own house.
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They can't cage me. I'd choke them for trying. I'm 21, and I'm not afraid to punch someone out. I've been stepped on for way too long.
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