Hydramus [2005-10-27 15:43:53 +0000 UTC]

Interesting imagery overal i have to say well basicly all of it is full of metaphores of some sort. But in a way i think i dont really understand it lol, well i do have some idea of it to do with some sort of suicide lol and regreting it but the first stanza is probably the one that is the different stanza from the other two with a different subject but im not too sure on that one perticular lol but it is interesting how you put them there and how you describe certain things. But "Eclipsed Morning's Onset" is that to get the idea of how you are mixing the 2 ideas of day and night in the poem together in that they are wounding in some way? lol well it is original in my eyes indeed and i like originality, especially the ending, which is very irregular from the rest with the elipsises (forgive me as i cannot spell very well ) but tbh not really fitting perhaps but i get the idea. But art really is an expression as most people would say.

Keep it up, i'd like to see more hehe, and btw, i usually write a lot for each poem so you'll see me doing this a lot lol. sorry if its a lot to read, just tell me hehe

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RottenTeacup [2005-10-26 23:09:18 +0000 UTC]

the last line is hilarious. I realise it's somewhat inappropiate to laugh about a (sort of) suicide poem but don't worry, the poem is excellent, I just have a rather macabre sense of humour. I like it though. very well done.

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insanity-streak [2005-10-24 13:06:24 +0000 UTC]

nice work. i especially like how the title is given meaning in the poems ending lines! its clever and not too obvious. its also very poignant and nicely worded. awesome way to start your time here!

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OniRei [2005-10-23 01:37:49 +0000 UTC]

Wow! Great diction.

I just realized that each stanza ends with a word that begins with the letter "o"

Interesting poem

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XmelancoliaX [2005-10-23 00:36:32 +0000 UTC]

Deep.

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Opsimath [2005-10-22 20:20:54 +0000 UTC]

Amazing! Brilliant! Riveting!
The finishing lines of each stanza work much better than a certain three letter word.

lmao.

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Zaharon [2005-10-22 20:15:12 +0000 UTC]

Wow..that's a really nice poem. ^_^ I, for one, cannot write poetry.

Though that one line that says "Poke and sow your hope", it should be 'sew', not 'sow'

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evnishen [2005-10-22 20:14:19 +0000 UTC]

absoluetly beautiful!!
-------
mein herz brennt

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