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Description
Title: Secrets
Pairing(s): one-sided Shockwave(Longarm)/Blurr
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mild angst, slash, TFA

XXX

Blurr observed the mech from behind the wall, not wanting to be seen by the other. He felt incredibly stupid, childish even. This was basically stalking! He was stalking Longarm Prime! He knew it was wrong and incredibly invasive on his privacy, but… Blurr loved him.

He didn’t know when he had started to like Longarm. He just knew that he did. Around Longarm, his spark would pulse at practically to a point where it was almost like he would have a spark attack. He just couldn’t be himself around the other. He was crushing on him hard, wanting a relationship beyond simply comradeship.

But he couldn’t ask him. Longarm was a diligent and work-before-play type of mech! He had painfully recalled him telling Jazz (who had tried to pick him up) that he had no time for relationships and that he just wasn’t interested in anything other than platonic affairs.

In other words, he had no feelings for anyone or anything. Everyone was on equal ground with him, including Blurr.

Damn, did that hurt his spark

But, despite what he had heard Longarm said, Blurr didn’t give up on his feelings for the Prime. He liked him and he couldn’t just make his feelings go away with the snap of his fingers. If it worked like that, he would have forgotten all about Longarm and would have moved on.

He just couldn’t though. Longarm was… perfect. Kind, intelligent, diligent, a strong fighter, a strong leader… How could he not like him?! And Longarm was always so nice to him. He always talked to him, even though so many others talked about how Blurr was annoying because he spoke too fast. It wasn’t like he could help it though – that was just how he spoke!

But Longarm never judged him for that. Longarm continued to talk to him, even if at times he had trouble understanding what he was saying. Blurr tried to talk as slow as he could when he was with Longarm, but the Prime had told him not to worry about it. He could talk normally if he preferred it.

It was the little things like that that made Blurr fall in love with the Prime even more. But he knew it was hopeless! He knew that! And it was why he had never told a soul about his feelings for the other. They all would have laughed at him. They would have told him it was hopeless and he was just hurting himself in the end. Longarm would never see him in that sort of light. He would never be a lover or a mate to other.

He didn’t need others knowing so they could tell him that. He already told himself that enough.

Depressed now, Blurr turned away from spying on the mech. He had invaded his privacy enough. If Longarm found out about this, the mech would surely hate him. It was bad enough that the Prime would never see him like that. The Elite Guard member wouldn’t have been able to handle it if the other grew to hate him.

He finally dashed away as quickly and as quietly as he could, leaving Longarm to look over whatever documents he had been looking over.

Just as he left, Longarm turned his helm. So… The scout finally left. He huffed, moving over to the door and closing it, sending the voice command through to lock down the room. The last thing he needed was people disturbing him and spying in on him when he spoke to Lord Megatron.

Morphing his body back to its Decepticon form, Shockwave approached the screen just as Megatron’s face came on.

“Shockwave – anything new to report?”

“The Autobots are preparing a raid on the Northwest front. There is also word of a new formula being made that will enhance combat performance. I have no useful information to give at this time, as the science department is still in the researching phase.”

The warlord smirked darkly, quite pleased with the new information given. No one else but Shockwave could pull such a façade up for so long. All of his other soldiers would have been caught and killed by now. But not Shockwave.

For hundreds of centuries, he had been pretending to be an Autobot – his Longarm persona had even been promoted to a Prime! A Prime! Only someone as skilled as Shockwave could achieve such a position undercover. It helped too that these Autobots were so blind by pretty words that they could let anyone just slip by them.

The fools. Shockwave would ruin them from the inside and no one would ever suspect a thing. It was almost too brilliant, too perfect. He gave a chuckle, shaking his helm. “Excellent work, Shockwave. Report back to me when you have more details on this new formula.”

“Thank you, my Liege. I shall.”

Then the transmission ended, Megatron’s face disappearing from the screen. Shockwave switched into his Longarm persona and huffed, reaching up to rub his optics. Knowing the scientists, it wouldn’t be too long until he received more data on the matter. As inferior as he thought Autobots were, Perceptor was brilliant. He would have made a fine addition to the Decepticon cause, but the mech was apparently too kind-hearted for them, despite never expressing his emotions.

He turned away from the screen, pausing when he heard a knock on the door. Straightening himself up, he smiled and called out, “Come in.”

And, sure enough, it was Blurr. As much of an annoyance as the blue mech could be, he was incredibly useful. Not to mention that Shockwave could manipulate his feelings into giving him information.

Perhaps being around these sentimental Autobots was causing his emotions to weaken, but he did pity the poor mech. Blurr loved Longarm, a mech who really didn’t exist. Longarm was Shockwave, a hated and loathed Decepticon. The poor mech’s spark would break once he found out the truth of Longarm.

In Shockwave’s own way, he felt bad for him the other.

Here Blurr thought that Longarm, this false persona Shockwave had created, was this wonderful and charming mech that he had fallen in love with. Blurr was completely infatuated with him. It wasn’t hard to tell, despite Blurr trying to keep those feelings a secret. Shockwave was a spy – he knew how to find out secrets that people were hiding.

But, for the sake of things, he pretended to be ignorant. As Longarm, he pretended not to know a thing. Blurr loved him and maybe one day, he would confess his feelings. Perhaps then Shockwave could wrestle even more information out of him. He had thought of telling Blurr that he was in love with him, but he worried that the younger mech would just run off in fear. So, for now, he waited for the blue mech to come to him.

“Ah, Blurr,” he said, smiling when he saw reports in his hand. “What brings you here?”

“Ultra-Magnus-wanted-me-to-give-this-to-you-sir,” he said, walking over to him. Primus, why did he have to smile like that?! It only made his spark beat faster. He handed them the documents. “They-are-the-various-records-you-asked-for-regarding-life-before-the-Golden-Age-may-I-ask-why-you-needed-them?”

“Just a little research on the medicine before hand,” he said, giving a shrug. He placed the folder on his desk, reaching out to the younger mech and resting a hand on his shoulder. He pretended he didn’t feel him tense and smiled. “Care to join me in my reading of it?”

Blurr blushed brightly, much to his horror. While he would love to do nothing more than spend time alone with the other, there was just no way he could do it! He was giving himself away! He had to do something!

“Sorry-but-I-have-other-matters-to-attend-to-maybe-some-other-time-or-something-but-I’m-really-busy-right-now-so-I’m-sorry,” he said, almost too quickly for the other to really understand.

But Longarm just smiled and nodded. “All right then. Goodbye, Blurr.”

“Bye.” Then the other rushed away, face still bright red. Damn it! Why wasn’t he just brave enough to tell him?! He could fight an entire team of ruthless Decepticons, but he couldn’t even face the mech he loved head on!

Once he was far away enough, he buried his burning face into his hands and tried to cool himself down. He had to get a grip on things! Longarm would think he was crazy if he saw how stupidly he was behaving around him! The mech probably wouldn’t even want to speak with him anymore because he was acting strange!

Blurr let out a heavy and almost defeated huff. Primus, this was so painful. There were times where he wanted to tell someone else of his feelings, but he didn’t know who. He wanted someone he could trust, someone who wouldn’t go telling Longarm about it or letting it slip to someone else. He had friends, sure, but… He just didn’t know if he should tell them or not. Most of his friends were highly talkative. He would die of embarrassment if they let it slip. If he were angry enough, he would probably kill them for letting Longarm know about his hidden feelings. He just didn’t want that to happen…

He rubbed his optics. No. No he wouldn’t tell anyone. Not even Longarm. He didn’t want to be rejected. He didn’t want to shamed. So he would hide his feelings. He would keep them a secret until the day he died or by some miracle, Longarm confessed to loving him too.

With this, everything would all right. Everything would be okay.