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therandomlyrandomone — The Stranger
Published: 2012-02-05 00:14:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 591; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 7
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Description It was around midnight, and snowflakes were gracefully drifting down from the dark sky. Anyone who was outside would be desperately trying to make their way home, but a single figure sat on a snow-covered bench. The silent man wore only a purple scarf, dark brown jumper, denim jeans and converse shoes. Despite the lack of warmth he seemed unfazed by the cold, and only stared in a single spot.

* * *

Passer-bys gathered around the spot, some mumbling to others. Many questions were asked about the current situation: 'What's going on?', 'What happened?', 'Is anyone going to help?'.

The alarming sound of sirens cut through the panicked atmosphere like a blade, and the passer-bys made way for the police officers. A couple of the blue-uniformed men took a look at the scene, and quickly motioned for everyone to stand back.

''Nothing to see here folks, move along.'' One of them called out as he gestured for the crowd to leave.

* * *

The silence felt almost disturbing. The stranger felt like looking around, calling out for help, but his moss green eyes did not move from the spot. They were fixated on it. Lifting up a pale hand, he placed it over his heart and gripped tightly onto his wool jumper. Cracking a smile, the man whispered:

''I wish I could move along.''

However, the smile soon faded as he remembered why he was alone at midnight in this particular area. Using all his willpower, the stranger looked up at the night sky and watched as the snowflakes danced in the air.

''Ironic, isn't it? Snow on this day.''

* * *

''This snow isn't helping at all.'' Noted one of the officers.
''Tell me about it,'' replied the second officer.

The duo watched over the crowd, and occasionally glanced over their shoulders at the scene. A few people had left, but many other curious citizens still lingered. Over the incoherent ramblings of the crowd came a strong and clear voice. A young man came running through the crowd, but was stopped abruptly by the two officers.

''Sir, we can't let you pass.'' An officer informed the man.
''But, but...'' The man seemed panicked and frightened. ''He's...he's my brother, man! Let me through!''

The determined man attempted to push past the officers, but was held back.

''I can't believe he'd do this, man! Over one thing...'' The young man became increasingly stressed, and started pacing up and down, leaving trail marks in the powder snow.
''What thing?'' An officer questioned.
''Well, it was--''

* * *

''A broken heart can lead people to do insane things.'' The stranger spoke quietly, making sure no one could hear his small speech. ''This is just one of them. It's funny, some people will probably think I'm mad, my brother will for sure. But this...this is the clearest I've ever thought since you've been gone.''

Swiftly, he observed his surroundings, confirming the theory that he was alone. Taking in a deep breath, the stranger continued:

''A blizzard, a freakin' blizzard! Nature forced us apart,'' The stranger's eyes looked down at the solid object in his left hand. ''And now I will bring us back together.''

Standing up, he took a step forward and placed his numb right hand on the headstone. Meanwhile, his left hand rose up towards his head, and pressed the barrel against it. He took in another breath of cool air and closed his eyes, tears forming.

* * *

''It wasn't even worth it.'' The brother muttered, his lower jaw quivering with each word.

* * *

The stranger trembled and he tried to calm himself down. A single tear rolled down his face and he finally managed to utter the words:

''It's worth it.''

A loud bang shattered the silence, followed by the repetitive barking of a dog. The deed had been done, they were together again, at the expense of others.

Soon enough, a crowd had began to gather. Passer-bys gathered around the spot, some mumbling to others. Many questions were asked about the current situation: 'What's going on?', 'What happened?', 'Is anyone going to help?'...

'Was it all worth it?'
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Comments: 17

danitownsendx [2012-05-23 18:30:34 +0000 UTC]

It's been ages since I've come on DA and the first thing I read is this... so depressing but awesome. woop!

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therandomlyrandomone In reply to danitownsendx [2012-05-23 20:47:41 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

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danitownsendx In reply to therandomlyrandomone [2012-06-02 16:42:11 +0000 UTC]

your welcome

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Night-Ice [2012-04-16 17:33:03 +0000 UTC]

I like how I didn't know what the whole thing was about until almost the very end...it made me focus more on the writing, trying to guess what was going on.

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therandomlyrandomone In reply to Night-Ice [2012-04-16 17:35:16 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

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monstroooo [2012-04-16 11:21:17 +0000 UTC]

Congratulations! You've been featured in our Weekly Roundup

Thanks for contributing to the group

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therandomlyrandomone In reply to monstroooo [2012-04-16 16:14:49 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much, I appreciate it!

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BrandonRChinn [2012-02-14 20:46:06 +0000 UTC]

Very interesting piece. You do a good job of maintaining suspense over a very short period. Well done.

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therandomlyrandomone In reply to BrandonRChinn [2012-02-14 20:54:57 +0000 UTC]

Thank you

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monstroooo [2012-02-05 20:20:19 +0000 UTC]

Good lord.

I had a wonderful moment half-way through this when I realised what was going on. The revelation was stunning.

Great work!

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therandomlyrandomone In reply to monstroooo [2012-02-05 21:06:50 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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MagpieVon [2012-02-05 06:16:56 +0000 UTC]

Actually, I quite like this. I like the two perspectives at two different points of time that still weave together to tell the same story. Really, it's rather unique. Technically speaking, you could use some work with quotations. Such as here:

''This snow isn't helping at all.'' Noted one of the officers.
''Tell me about it.'' Replied the second officer.

When someone speaks and the quotation ends like it does here with who is talking, there should be a coma at the end of the sentence and a lower case next letter. Corrected, this portion and any others like it should look like this:

This snow isn't helping at all," noted one of the officers.
"Tell me about it," replied the second officer.

Another small thing I noticed was this sentence: "He took in another intake of cool air and closed his eyes, tears forming." The part, "Took in another intake" is a little repetitive. I would maybe just say "He took another breath of cool air" or something like that.

All in all, though, good job! Keep up the good work!

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therandomlyrandomone In reply to MagpieVon [2012-02-05 08:41:35 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the help! I'll definately keep all of this in mind when I'm writing

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MagpieVon In reply to therandomlyrandomone [2012-02-05 14:29:02 +0000 UTC]

Not a problem at all!

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The-Last-Dragon [2012-02-05 03:14:20 +0000 UTC]

Crappy? This isn't crappy at all! This is something that made me guess what was going on til the very end. Good job! I like it a lot even though its sad.

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therandomlyrandomone In reply to The-Last-Dragon [2012-02-05 08:42:56 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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The-Last-Dragon In reply to therandomlyrandomone [2012-02-06 01:24:47 +0000 UTC]

Welcome!!!

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