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Description
a madness of crows tears skirling across the sky;
the shy sky, shrinking from their razor pinions.
minions of the westing moon, calling hoarse and harsh in the cold knife wind,
pinned to my seat with eyelids blazing open,
open like a nova
open like a furnace
open like a pit
i sit
burning in their turning,
consumed by wings.
i drive with my hindbrain--my skull switched off, my hands automatic,
static clinging to my koosh-ball thoughts.
if i drive long enough i'll drive off this flat torn dogeared map and
SNAP! right into nevernevereverland.
the land of candy corn and midget porn,
where all is instant and lurid and will rot your insides if you're not careful.
careful.
care-full.
full of care. i care for you so much that i must carefully be. i haven't any fingers left, i keep reaching out for you and grabbing stabbing stuff by mistake.
i ache
to lay my head down down down on your shoulder
but i'm older now i know that shoulders are dangerous
that's where lurkers and perverts lie in wait and flat tires happen and girls like me
wind up stranded.
red handed,
branded,
caught loving you. i'm a monster, a thief sneaking into the closets of your heart. how long before you make me into another skeleton?
i love fluorescent, cold, blue n white n panKAKES and safe with smiles and people and NO BOGEYMEN.
nothing bad ever happens in IHOP. i don't love you in IHOP.
here all is expected, protected, collected safe and sound.
i can't stop writing because my brain is a long red ribbon spooled from my skull to my pen and back again and if you turn it round and round it makes a sound like roses.
but stopping equals tangles and thorns.
tangling and strangling of dangling thoughts. i am bought and sold
for a song,
a sigh,
an ill-considered word.
a bird in my heart and a dog in my brain, wings in my chest and teeth behind my eyes.
i snarl and flutter. i do not fly.
i eye i eye i eye i eye
see now.
i see now.
i see now.
i see you.
please go away. or else stay forever. don't you want me to want you?
i am wrong and bad and sad and i am PERFECT.
tear me down if you're going to but don't hold back don't hide don't pretend.
i'll mend if you strike me but i can't stand to cower.
i don't like to wait don't make me.
drop the other fucking shoe, dear, do.
it's probably a boot.
it's probably made for walking.

my fucking feet hurt.