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Published: 2021-10-01 14:28:44 +0000 UTC; Views: 488532; Favourites: 1901; Downloads: 396
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From the journal of Eylul Anwir, Rogue of the Westershore Adventurer's Guild...
Our cleric fucked up. Big time.
I was just doing my job, checking the dungeon for traps, and for loose coins, when I found a treasure chest laying unattented in the middle of the room.
Should that have been a huge red flag? Maybe.
Was it wrong that I didn't call it out to the party so I could take a bigger cut first? Probably, but hey, finder's fees!
And did said treasure chest turn out to be a hungry Mimic?
Absolutely.
I had just enough time to get a glimpse of it's drooling ivory teeth and slick pink tongues before it snapped my neck like a twig and began swallowing me whole.
I can only assume that my party found me shortly after. Or rather, my corpse, laying inside the beast.
Our idiot cleric decided to cast Resurrection before removing me from the jaws of the overgrown suitcase.
As I was pulled from the waiting room of the afterlife, I knew something was wrong.
My legs, toned from years of running from the law, fused with the bottom of the chest and filled up with plump, womanly fat, leaving me with a booty I'd gladly steal were it not on me. My skin grew hairless, soft and slimy. My face became angular and feminine. My hair untangled into a mess of sticky tentacles. Two pendulous orbs of flesh erupted from my chest and hung off my ribcage like two great big sacks of coin. And my longsword, my precious, precious longsword, known to make the women of the brothel tremble and swoon with delight, was swallowed whole by the beast, leaving behind only a slick sheath.
I felt my mind become connected to the treasure chest, feel my new set of teeth and tongues writhe and wrap around my new body. I could taste the floor, and my skin. It was disgusting! My party was horrified.
Except for the Wizard, that smug son of a bitch. He took great pleasure in teasing me for my predicament.
He called me a "Booby Trap."
Prick.
At first, I viewed my situation as a minor, temporary predicament. It was fine. I could be cured of this curse as soon as we got to the nearest Temple. However, the Cleric was quick to inform me I had been banned from all Temples in the kingdom for stealing from their coffers and woo-ing their nuns. My heart sank deep into my chest. The wooden one, not the one beating like a drum between my massive tits.
So it seems I am stuck like this for the forseeable future. The Orc Fighter we hired is currently acting as my legs for the moment. I must say he is certainly... good looking for an Orc. I'm hoping that my transformation hasn't forced me into "playing for the other team", so to speak.
But I'm still the greatest Rogue in the Kingdom! I can turn even the most dire of situations to my financial advantage.
I'm currently drawing up plans to have my party sneak me inside the Royal Vault as an ordinary treasure chest. I might even share some of the gold with them, too.
- Eylul Anwir, The World's Greatest Mimic
Special thanks to ZBL for the original suggestion and to all of my Patrons for their support!
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