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Description
Crispy: "And that's why personal carpets should be banned."

Ludwig: "Mm hm... wait, what we were talking about?"

Crispy: "The senseless imposition of illogical carpets upon residents."

Ludwig: Illogical... carpet?"

Crispy: "Right! Why carpet a nice, logical hardwood floor?"

Ludwig: "Keep warm in winter? Reduce noise?"

Crispy: "Everyone ends up resorting to the heater anyway, why not just bundle up or buy rugs? It saves money on heating, saves the environment, and saves the future resident from an eyesore if they don't like carpets or can't afford to have it washed every year. Speaking of washing, can you imagine the germs they attract?"

Ludwig: "I suppose."

Crispy: "And what about summer? Those things are heat vacuums, you're basically sentencing the resident to choose between wasting money and fossil fuel on cooling or living in a sauna. Imagine the strain that puts on our computers, too! I'll bet they'd last twice as long otherwise. I'm telling you, it's all part of planned obsolescence."

Ludwig: "..."

Crispy: "Carpets are hard to clean, useless in winter, evil in summer, and ugly compared to ornate rugs, they're as pointless and environmentally unfriendly as the lawn and it's time we as animals stood up to this fibrous tyrant! ...What?"

Ludwig: "Are all kets this strange or did I win lottery?"

Crispy: "Oh, that's nothing, wait'll I tell you how I'll fund the traditional shabby chic Tudor-and-Victorian-inspired construction boom when I'm god-fuhrer. It involves marijuana."

Ludwig: "I am going to need rakia for this."

Description
Crispy: "And that's why personal carpets should be banned."

Ludwig: "Mm hm... wait, what we were talking about?"

Crispy: "The senseless imposition of illogical carpets upon residents."

Ludwig: Illogical... carpet?"

Crispy: "Right! Why carpet a nice, logical hardwood floor?"

Ludwig: "Keep warm in winter? Reduce noise?"

Crispy: "Everyone ends up resorting to the heater anyway, why not just bundle up or buy rugs? It saves money on heating, saves the environment, and saves the future resident from an eyesore if they don't like carpets or can't afford to have it washed every year. Speaking of washing, can you imagine the germs they attract?"

Ludwig: "I suppose."

Crispy: "And what about summer? Those things are heat vacuums, you're basically sentencing the resident to choose between wasting money and fossil fuel on cooling or living in a sauna. Imagine the strain that puts on our computers, too! I'll bet they'd last twice as long otherwise. I'm telling you, it's all part of planned obsolescence."

Ludwig: "..."

Crispy: "Carpets are hard to clean, useless in winter, evil in summer, and ugly compared to ornate rugs, they're as pointless and environmentally unfriendly as the lawn and it's time we as animals stood up to this fibrous tyrant! ...What?"

Ludwig: "Are all kets this strange or did I win lottery?"

Crispy: "Oh, that's nothing, wait'll I tell you how I'll fund the traditional shabby chic Tudor-and-Victorian-inspired construction boom when I'm god-fuhrer. It involves marijuana."

Ludwig: "I am going to need rakia for this."