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Description
...of fuzzy, tinkly, whimsical cloud-dwelling Care Bearishness.

(Please use the "Download Image option to your right for a larger, clearer version of this picture. )

1. Atkinson film-arts Style - More commonly known among us fans as "Care Bears Battle the Freeze Machine" style or "Land Without Feelings" style. To me, the movement and physical appearance of these original bears seemed more than a little different than their DiC and Nelvana descendants. Their pudgy and pillowy-soft bodies often forced them to waddle as they walked, giving them a more teddy bearish look.

2. DIC Entertainment Style - As a youngster, my first impressions regarding the DiC bears were somewhat less than terrific. The creepy polarized reverse-pupils which stared into the depths of one's very soul, the massive white schnoz which hid their mouths and thus 90% of their expressive capacity, and their softly cooing and slightly raspy voices all pointed to the idea that I would be viciously consumed by these deceitfully cheerful creatures were I ever to encounter them alone and in person. Still, as the seemingly year-like months of my childhood crept by, I very quickly became attached to them (perhaps not least because of the fact that their snowy muzzles reminded me of another character which I was so very fond of - Yoshi! )

Also, the animation was more consistent. Perhaps it was only my imagination, but the overall feeling of ever present calmness which guided the flow of the cartoon itself just seemed to have a certain subtle air of eeriness and quiet dread stealthily slinking about behind the series' mockingly sunny and pastel exterior, which really becomes apparent in some of the darker DiC episodes such as (my personal favorite) Drab City.

...Or, erhm... perhaps not. It could just be that I was merely horrifically tripped out. When I was younger, I mean. Back then... still, actually. What do you want? My mother dropped me on the head when I was kitten, alright!?

3. Nelvana Style - My unchallenged favorite, as well as what I consider to be the most well thought out version of the Care Bears' storyline possessing by far the best style out of the lot of them! The Founders, the Rainbow Rescue Beam, Grams Bear's timeless fairytale stories, the panda twins, this series has all of the elements of greatness we so fondly remember, and it's 100% watchable, re-watchable, re-re-watchable, re-re-RE- watchable and-- well, you get the idea. It's oodles of fun plus a barrel of Playful Heart Monkeys on the side!

As mentioned above, this particular brand of The Care Bears (mysterious Tenderheart clones and contradictions regarding the 1rst and 2nd movies aside) appears to have the most reasonable, realistic, and consistent story out of all of them...or at least it is as reasonable, realistic, and consistent as any fictional series starring a sky-dwelling race of talking three foot tall anthropomorphic animals can possibly be, anyhow! Any of the other versions, both old and new, all seem to portray the CBF as a bubble-headed band of cake loving, party throwing, zombified unconditionally loving happy machines, whereas the Nelvana bears have got a little more umph to 'em. Considerably more individualistic character traits and personalities aside, thanks to their more flexible and sometimes very wonky animations these little guys are perfectly capable of expressing deeper emotions of sadness, desperation, panic, bliss, and utter confusion. And when there weren't any impressionable human children about, these normally patient and benevolent bears could even prove themselves to be capable of emotions of exasperation, heated anger towards one another and even downright greediness, or some hurtful mockery from time to time. (As is made apparent during episodes such as The Lost Gift, The Long Lost Care Bears, Order on the Court, Home Sweet Homeless, The Best Way to Make Friends, and many others.

4. SD Entertainment (or AiCaL) Style - I hate this style. I mean I really, truly, honestly hate it. As in "I can physically visualize these puny puffballs callously slitting my innocent childhood's throat each and every time I blink my eyelids" variety of hate. I know it's only children's entertainment, but so was the 1986 series and yet you never saw THEM pulling cupcake powered rocket ships out of their asses, farting off caring missions in favor of playing belly ball 24/7, and F-ing FLYING with their tummy symbols whilst shooting radiant beams of light from their front paws. What is this supposed to be, Dragon Ball Z? Am I going to be seeing Oopsy Bear screaming at the top of his lungs for three episodes straight before going Super Saiyan and Spirit Bombing Uber-Grizzle's metal ass all the way to Snake Road anytime in the near future?

Actually, at this point that's just about the only thing that they could possibly do to revive this unsightly splatter of sewer sludge on the Care Bear franchise's previously untainted history up to a more respectable level of watchability in my eyes.

I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if the script writers for AiCaL also had hand in the making of the G3 My Little Pony films, as both of these series have got four sickening things in common: crippling political correctness, a strong aversion to negative, controversial, or dark situations, wearisome and predictable "love and light and hope and kittens" teamwork dialog, and the excessive use of non-existent words and aggravating phrases like "Oh my good golly gee williker gosh Funshine Bear, it sure is a fun-didley-idley tastical sunshine-a-rific-magnific day today, isn't it!?" Christ... the good guys never "used their words" to settle a life threatening encounter with evil when I was growing to maturity. What ever happened to the good old days, back when you could just whip out the Sword of Omens, bury it in your enemy's chest, then go home and be done with it?

Oh, we're ever so sorry kids. we'd love nothing more than to give you an enchanting and more thought provoking childhood, but that might be offensive to some unbearably fragile-minded individuals out there, so we'll just make up for all that by permanently damaging your optic nerves with blindingly vivid colours and blasting some hip new mediocre tunes into your ears! Hey, you kids won't be needing any substance as long as we can provide you with merchandising and sensory overload, right?...Right?

Heaven forbid this generation ever lay eyes on Felidae, Akira, Watership Down or Plague Dogs lest they all should start dropping like terminally ill flies with such frequency and in such vast numbers due to massive heart failure that the Japanese CIA will begin raiding peoples houses for Death Notes and inexplicable piles of discarded apple cores.

Personally, I think that the Geico drill sergeant/therapist said it like it needed to be said: "Maybe we should chug on over to Namby-Pamby Land where maybe we can find some self confidence for you, ya' jackwagon!"

(To my splendidly understanding and highly patient readers: my apologies for the uber-time-vampire-rant. But I did however warn you in advance of my seething hatred for these modern day Care Bears. Did I lie? xP)

5. ThisCrispyKat Style - I greatly enjoy this interpretation...although it's entirely possible that I could maaaybe just possibly be an eensy teensy ever-so-slightly itty bitty bit biased on that one! X}

99% of the praise, of course, goes to the animators of the classic Nelvana series as my somewhat upgraded version of the Care Bears are merely the slightly more complicated (and supposedly almost anime-esque or faintly Don Bluth-ish looking, or so I've been told) offspring of the authentic bears. Larger hair tufts, thicker fur, three-toed paws and a more movable looking set of thick fuzzy ears all help to give these fanspawn a more realistic and natural appearance. But perhaps the physical feature I like most about them are their eyes - apart from the watercolour paintings, stuffed toys, and the CG films I never once saw the Care Bears as being portrayed with irises. They say that the eyes are the windows into a person's soul, and I for one was constantly plagued by the Care Bears Family's total lack of any visible eye colour other than two solid black pupils ever since I was Hugs and Tugs' age!

Alright alright, so perhaps it wasn't quite THAT far back... but it wasn't exactly last Tuesday, either!

Description
...of fuzzy, tinkly, whimsical cloud-dwelling Care Bearishness.

(Please use the "Download Image option to your right for a larger, clearer version of this picture. )

1. Atkinson film-arts Style - More commonly known among us fans as "Care Bears Battle the Freeze Machine" style or "Land Without Feelings" style. To me, the movement and physical appearance of these original bears seemed more than a little different than their DiC and Nelvana descendants. Their pudgy and pillowy-soft bodies often forced them to waddle as they walked, giving them a more teddy bearish look.

2. DIC Entertainment Style - As a youngster, my first impressions regarding the DiC bears were somewhat less than terrific. The creepy polarized reverse-pupils which stared into the depths of one's very soul, the massive white schnoz which hid their mouths and thus 90% of their expressive capacity, and their softly cooing and slightly raspy voices all pointed to the idea that I would be viciously consumed by these deceitfully cheerful creatures were I ever to encounter them alone and in person. Still, as the seemingly year-like months of my childhood crept by, I very quickly became attached to them (perhaps not least because of the fact that their snowy muzzles reminded me of another character which I was so very fond of - Yoshi! )

Also, the animation was more consistent. Perhaps it was only my imagination, but the overall feeling of ever present calmness which guided the flow of the cartoon itself just seemed to have a certain subtle air of eeriness and quiet dread stealthily slinking about behind the series' mockingly sunny and pastel exterior, which really becomes apparent in some of the darker DiC episodes such as (my personal favorite) Drab City.

...Or, erhm... perhaps not. It could just be that I was merely horrifically tripped out. When I was younger, I mean. Back then... still, actually. What do you want? My mother dropped me on the head when I was kitten, alright!?

3. Nelvana Style - My unchallenged favorite, as well as what I consider to be the most well thought out version of the Care Bears' storyline possessing by far the best style out of the lot of them! The Founders, the Rainbow Rescue Beam, Grams Bear's timeless fairytale stories, the panda twins, this series has all of the elements of greatness we so fondly remember, and it's 100% watchable, re-watchable, re-re-watchable, re-re-RE- watchable and-- well, you get the idea. It's oodles of fun plus a barrel of Playful Heart Monkeys on the side!

As mentioned above, this particular brand of The Care Bears (mysterious Tenderheart clones and contradictions regarding the 1rst and 2nd movies aside) appears to have the most reasonable, realistic, and consistent story out of all of them...or at least it is as reasonable, realistic, and consistent as any fictional series starring a sky-dwelling race of talking three foot tall anthropomorphic animals can possibly be, anyhow! Any of the other versions, both old and new, all seem to portray the CBF as a bubble-headed band of cake loving, party throwing, zombified unconditionally loving happy machines, whereas the Nelvana bears have got a little more umph to 'em. Considerably more individualistic character traits and personalities aside, thanks to their more flexible and sometimes very wonky animations these little guys are perfectly capable of expressing deeper emotions of sadness, desperation, panic, bliss, and utter confusion. And when there weren't any impressionable human children about, these normally patient and benevolent bears could even prove themselves to be capable of emotions of exasperation, heated anger towards one another and even downright greediness, or some hurtful mockery from time to time. (As is made apparent during episodes such as The Lost Gift, The Long Lost Care Bears, Order on the Court, Home Sweet Homeless, The Best Way to Make Friends, and many others.

4. SD Entertainment (or AiCaL) Style - I hate this style. I mean I really, truly, honestly hate it. As in "I can physically visualize these puny puffballs callously slitting my innocent childhood's throat each and every time I blink my eyelids" variety of hate. I know it's only children's entertainment, but so was the 1986 series and yet you never saw THEM pulling cupcake powered rocket ships out of their asses, farting off caring missions in favor of playing belly ball 24/7, and F-ing FLYING with their tummy symbols whilst shooting radiant beams of light from their front paws. What is this supposed to be, Dragon Ball Z? Am I going to be seeing Oopsy Bear screaming at the top of his lungs for three episodes straight before going Super Saiyan and Spirit Bombing Uber-Grizzle's metal ass all the way to Snake Road anytime in the near future?

Actually, at this point that's just about the only thing that they could possibly do to revive this unsightly splatter of sewer sludge on the Care Bear franchise's previously untainted history up to a more respectable level of watchability in my eyes.

I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if the script writers for AiCaL also had hand in the making of the G3 My Little Pony films, as both of these series have got four sickening things in common: crippling political correctness, a strong aversion to negative, controversial, or dark situations, wearisome and predictable "love and light and hope and kittens" teamwork dialog, and the excessive use of non-existent words and aggravating phrases like "Oh my good golly gee williker gosh Funshine Bear, it sure is a fun-didley-idley tastical sunshine-a-rific-magnific day today, isn't it!?" Christ... the good guys never "used their words" to settle a life threatening encounter with evil when I was growing to maturity. What ever happened to the good old days, back when you could just whip out the Sword of Omens, bury it in your enemy's chest, then go home and be done with it?

Oh, we're ever so sorry kids. we'd love nothing more than to give you an enchanting and more thought provoking childhood, but that might be offensive to some unbearably fragile-minded individuals out there, so we'll just make up for all that by permanently damaging your optic nerves with blindingly vivid colours and blasting some hip new mediocre tunes into your ears! Hey, you kids won't be needing any substance as long as we can provide you with merchandising and sensory overload, right?...Right?

Heaven forbid this generation ever lay eyes on Felidae, Akira, Watership Down or Plague Dogs lest they all should start dropping like terminally ill flies with such frequency and in such vast numbers due to massive heart failure that the Japanese CIA will begin raiding peoples houses for Death Notes and inexplicable piles of discarded apple cores.

Personally, I think that the Geico drill sergeant/therapist said it like it needed to be said: "Maybe we should chug on over to Namby-Pamby Land where maybe we can find some self confidence for you, ya' jackwagon!"

(To my splendidly understanding and highly patient readers: my apologies for the uber-time-vampire-rant. But I did however warn you in advance of my seething hatred for these modern day Care Bears. Did I lie? xP)

5. ThisCrispyKat Style - I greatly enjoy this interpretation...although it's entirely possible that I could maaaybe just possibly be an eensy teensy ever-so-slightly itty bitty bit biased on that one! X}

99% of the praise, of course, goes to the animators of the classic Nelvana series as my somewhat upgraded version of the Care Bears are merely the slightly more complicated (and supposedly almost anime-esque or faintly Don Bluth-ish looking, or so I've been told) offspring of the authentic bears. Larger hair tufts, thicker fur, three-toed paws and a more movable looking set of thick fuzzy ears all help to give these fanspawn a more realistic and natural appearance. But perhaps the physical feature I like most about them are their eyes - apart from the watercolour paintings, stuffed toys, and the CG films I never once saw the Care Bears as being portrayed with irises. They say that the eyes are the windows into a person's soul, and I for one was constantly plagued by the Care Bears Family's total lack of any visible eye colour other than two solid black pupils ever since I was Hugs and Tugs' age!

Alright alright, so perhaps it wasn't quite THAT far back... but it wasn't exactly last Tuesday, either!