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TopazTalon In reply to xcscientist [2017-04-01 15:17:23 +0000 UTC]

Omg, I'm so happy to see a comment from you!

Thank you so much for all those compliments! I worked on this for a while, so it means a lot!

XD Rotisserie chicken, that's a new one. (Adds to lists of names)

Kara's also, slightly preggers in this picture, though it's hard to notice.

You should read it!!! X'D

Thank you so much!

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xcscientist In reply to TopazTalon [2017-04-02 06:59:01 +0000 UTC]

I've read three chapters of it already, and holy moley mackerel I was not expecting this! I wonder if you're missing those old essay comments, because here's a blast from the past. Like a time machine, you could say...

I really like this new universe already. I'd love to see more detail and world building as I read on. It seemed oddly utopian at first, but I'm discovering more and more clues of the oppression underlying it all. Not only do most of the regular anthros live in fear of punishment, the Unit 0 anthros and the clones are still denied real freedom. They're in their 30s and 40s and they still don't have the control over their own lives to choose when they have kids. They are grown men and women and they still need permission to have a child with their significant other. Since they grew up that way, I can see why they don't think this is weird at all... I wonder why Black and White want to go to the trouble to make everyone an anthro, gain the trust of Unit 0, establish a new order of society, organize a totalitarian empire. and then kill most everyone off with an anthro plague? Seems like a lot of effort when you could just kill everyone off to begin with. How do they even know who's loyal?

It's very odd to see Sal and X so different. I couldn't help but laugh when I realized that Sal is surrounded by everyone who ever loved her in the real universe. Fang, Jacob, and Zack? Yeesh. But things have completely changed now. The rebellion's mentality is so harsh toward the people around them and toward each other. They have been made cruel and bitter by the evil they fight against. It hurts to see how cold and violent they are to each other. And uh... X with Fang? Who would have ever thought? I like it, though.

I do have a few little things that bother me... why does everyone just brush off the fact that Zero forgot everything from this reality and remembers the one he came from? They feel mildly weirded out, disappointed, and distrustful of him, but no one pays it too much attention. They all accept it just like that. It doesn't take them a lot of convincing at all, and even when people are convinced they adapt so quickly. No one is really mourning the loss of old Zero or devastated by the way he changed. They just patiently help him get used to it all. Do Black and White know about this? They might want to give him a few tests and figure out what happened if they found out. It would be such a shame if their top Unit 0 tracker suddenly forgot 20 years of new tactics to use and new rules to enforce. Maybe I'll see more about this as the story unfolds. When they all split up to search for Zella and Shawn, how did the others not find them? Most of them should have a great sense of smell, and Y has that special connection. When Kara, X, and Zero came back with the wine-stained jacket, how did the others not smell the wine? Wouldn't they be able to tell that it wasn't blood?

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TopazTalon In reply to xcscientist [2017-04-02 07:13:59 +0000 UTC]

Ohh, holy shit! X'D RIP me and my typing skills.
I was just about to go work on commissions for a bit, but something more important came up,
answering these questions and or, explaining.

Now, ehem, behold the power of a crack. (AU) This was just for fun, it's going to end up having
plot holes in it. As you easily found. X'D 

As for the wine with the jacket, I wasn't the one who came up with the idea, it was Lynn's. 
I thought and asked the same question you did. And I don't remember what she replied with
but clearly, it was a good reply, for me to shrug it off. Probably just something like, "This is a crack, woman!".

As for why everyone just brushes off why Zero forgot, I am currently trying to work on how Kara's currently dealing
with such a big change. I don't know how far into the story you are, but I do believe she starts to show some 
distrust and hurt towards the fact he has forgotten most of their life together. I guess that the hope of him regaining
his memories is very high and so they have more important things to worry about, such as ending this war.

And if White and Black found out about his memory loss, they'd probably, no promises, either use him to their advantage,
by using the information he remembers, or try to trick him in a way to get him on their side. Black and White are very...
VERY different in this crack. By the way they work, and how they manipulate, it has somehow improved. I'm trusting that Lynn
has a good idea of what she plans on doing with them, I add to the ideas as well, but so far, she's said to me "It's a secret."

And thus, I end up getting curious as well... I'm sure she explained most of the details to me, but I have completely blanked it out
by this time being, it's like 12:10 AM here for me, heh. Guess no extra little tips for you~! (Then again, that would be spoiling it)

And X with Fang... I wish I went with this in the legit Corrupted, I swear to god, Kara with Zero, just feels more normal to me. 
I cannot change this now however, but thus cracks can be my way of still shipping the two. I also, really enjoy seeing Xandra being more
'girly' this is basically her without the shit she had to deal with back in the real story.

I hope I could make things a bit more clearer to you. Oh my god, I just love your paragraph comments, they're like, addicting, I swear! 

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xcscientist In reply to TopazTalon [2017-04-15 02:35:45 +0000 UTC]

Well, maybe commissions might be just a bit more important than my little comments! Sorry for distracting you!

I finally finished reading the 9 chapters of it! It took me ages, but it was really fun. And I totally understand that there are a lot of plot holes since this is a crack.

When I read further into the story, I saw a lot more of the issues Zero's memory loss caused. He really did mess things up by playing with time. Now his parallel universe relationship with Kara is falling apart, Black and White have even more power, and Jacob remembers the daughter he never had. I felt so bad for Sal... The more I learned about her miscarriage, the more grateful I felt to have known Violet. Sal really is in stark contrast to her normal self. She tries so hard to be strong for the rebellion, but she's hurting so much inside. I think her character was especially well-written in this crack.

Lily is so different in this crack as well! She got so broken by Black and White... It's so cruel, what happened to her. She lost her naivete. That part was very poignant.

As surprising as it is, I find myself trusting Black and White. They really do act like kind, loving father figures to Unit 0 and the siblings. How could they ever do wrong? Even when I know what evils they have planned involving Zella and global domination, I discover that I have trouble believing it... Those masterminds really do have their subjects wrapped around their little fingers. Unit 0's loyalty is a lot more believable when Black and White are this manipulative. It would be nice to see their insidiousness show more as the story develops. I saw their darker sides when Lily told her story. Now I want to hate them like I hate really good villains.

I was a little confused as to why Luke and Ryan were persuaded so easily to join the rebellion. That whole section was sort of unclear to me. I'm also surprised that W and Y joined the rebellion that quickly as well. They were extremely against the rebellion, but did a complete 180 in almost no time flat. I would like more explanation for that.

Are you ever going to write a confrontation between Yuki and Sal? They can't be living in the same building without some massive buildup of tension, fear, and regret. They need to talk at some point.

Please no spoilers!

Thanks! I'm glad you like my comments!

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TopazTalon In reply to xcscientist [2017-04-15 06:50:15 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I agree. We do need to explain a bit more with Ryan and Luke, as for  Yestin and Willis, they're reasons where because they're sister. Xandra,  was already a part of the rebellion and Zella was being threatened by Black and White as it was, so they just jumped the gun and went with the safest choice in the moment, I'm sure they aren't exactly into the whole rebellion idea as much as Zella and Xandra. (Veronica is just there xD)

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TopazTalon In reply to Classic-Dave [2017-03-31 05:17:01 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much

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Classic-Dave In reply to TopazTalon [2017-03-31 05:25:15 +0000 UTC]

No problem

I'm sorry I haven't gotten around to your request. Been too depressed lately. Just trying to sketch stuff now.

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TopazTalon In reply to Classic-Dave [2017-03-31 05:25:55 +0000 UTC]

Ah, it's fine! There's no need to apologize. You don't have to do it, if you don't want to!

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Classic-Dave In reply to TopazTalon [2017-03-31 05:36:59 +0000 UTC]

I do want to draw it, it's just some stuff started happening that put me off. I will start it soon.

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TopazTalon In reply to Classic-Dave [2017-03-31 06:03:35 +0000 UTC]

Okay, well no worries! Like I said, there's no rush!

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TopazTalon In reply to KagomeKageThief [2017-03-30 19:21:11 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much, bro!

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