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TriffRaff — the view from the watchtower
Published: 2013-03-04 14:53:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 9453; Favourites: 126; Downloads: 102
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"So, what would you like to watch me do today?"The Humans built this watchtower so that they guards stationed in the tower could watch for Goblins, Wyrms, Minotuars, or any other other monsterous creatures that may erupt from the forests to attack the Human settlements. However, in practice, the guards at the watchtower spend most of thier time watching the Wood Nymphs from said forest, who are drawn to the tower because it gives them a captive audience that is already at the *ahem* best viewing height. Because Wood Nymphs are flirty creatures....
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Comments: 16
Probably. And afterward, they try to one-up each other while bragging about what they saw...
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Guard: Um...my, uh, guard buddies and I were doing some target practice earlier, and, uh, we think some of the arrows might have been shot up onto the roof of the tower. Could you, uh, check for me please?
Nymph: Sure thing, sweetie. *goes up next to the tower, stands on tiptoes and look on roof*
Guard:...My gods, they're even bigger up close.
Nymph: Sorry, did you say something?
Guard: Um, nothing, just...glad you're willing to help. Uh, find anything?
Nymph: Not yet. I'm a bit afraid I might put too much weight on your landing, and I would hate to see you fall. Could you just go to the edge of the landing and push back a bit so I know where you are?
Guard:...Is that really alright with you?
Nymph: Yes, please, I really don't want to accidentally smash something.
Guard: ...Okay, if you insist. *pushes back in between cleavage*
Nymph: *puts hands on sides of breasts and traps guard between them* Hah, got you now! Wait until my friends get a look at you.
Guard: W-wait, I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to...alright, yes, I was trying to cop a feel, but I never meant to offend...I mean, I thought you wanted...oh, please don't hurt me!
Nymph: Shhhh. Relax. I don't intend to hurt you. Granted, I will be taking you back with me, but let's just say...I only baited my trap with something I wish to give more of.
Guard: Oh...oh I see. But, um, the captain might miss me.
Nymph: Oh, right. Ahem *says mock seriously* Captain, one of your soldiers has been caught trying to molest one of our noble persons. We demand that he be punished in accordance with the ancient laws of the forest.
Captain: *sighs, then speaks by rote* "The preservation of our city's safety is only made possible by our strong diplomatic ties with the Wood Nymphs. Therefore, as long as the punishment does not entail prolonged detainment or excessive cruelty, the city will allow the Wood Nymphs custody of the accused." Just...just have him back by morning roll call, alright?
Nymph: *salutes* Yes, sir. *gives guard another little squeeze, then heads back to the woods*
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Heh. The people of Vistallah must have some....interesting treaties with the various mgaical monsters of the setting.
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At least the Wood Nymph makes tower duty less boring. ^^
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Perhaps the tower designer had other plans in mind when constructing it.
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Or maybe it was constructed by a team of cyclopses, using their own figures as a guide...
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"The Humans built this watchtower"
Too late! It'll have to be retconned, which is a forbidden art.
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Ha-hah. Opps... 
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Guard: I... I... think you dropped something.... on the ground.
Nymph: Ooh? *bends over to look*
Guard: *nosebleeds and faints*
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She might feel cheated if that were all it took to make him faint...
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