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Description
The Trigger Happy Nightmare Radio Show #2
Shadows Livin' On in the Desert of Zone 4

Welcome to 33.3 FM, station of the guns blazin', slightly depressed at the moment, Trigger Happy.  AKA – Your worst Nightmare.

Yeah, I'm not doin' so good right now.  I seem to be spiraling down into nowhere lately and I can't get much sleep.  I keep having these weird dreams where I'm driving next to this creepy Jesus bobblehead while blasting rock music.  The desert whips past me in a blur and all I can see is the long stretch of road ahead of me seeming to go nowhere.  It rises over a hill in the distance, but I have no idea where the hell it goes.  The music reaches a crescendo every time like something huge is about to happen; like some kind of out-of-place dubstep drop in a rock song.  Yet before it hits I end up waking up breathing heavily in a cold sweat.

Damn it, I know it has something to do with that stupid poem I found a couple days ago!  I should probably get rid of the thing, but I can't seem to bring myself to throw it away.  Even if it's not that well written, it's a piece of art and if it survived the burning fires of 12', it's worth holding onto to for the pure fact that it's here physically.

The reoccurring dream is annoying for the reason that I can't interpret it for the life of me.  I used to be great at knowing what my dreams meant.  They're only subconscious thoughts floating around while the rest of your body's shut down right?  But that's not what's really getting me down these days.  Remembrace Raver's been ghosted.  I said that last week didn't I?  Well now it's kind of getting to me.  Reality's beginning to settle in.

I really don't want Twenty-Seven CAP to see me in any depressed state because our emotions in a way feed off of one another.  If I'm sad, she's sad.  If I'm happy, she's happy.  If I'm angry, she's angry – which is usually for a good reason, we get at each other's throats a lot.  But I can't let her see me sad this way.

She's pretty strong for only being fourteen years old though.  I forget that sometimes seeing as she's so independent.  Then again, she was only seven or so when all this shit went down and the world went to hell – quite literally.  She doesn't talk about when she was younger much; I honestly don't think she even remembers.  I'm not sure if it's better that way or not.  To remember what was once paradise compared to the shit we live in now is torture.

Well I guess it wasn't paradise, but we sure as hell took it for granted the time we lived there.

Well, at least she has no interest in BLI's brainwashing schemes.  She sees through their fakeness and lies with her own personal weapon: her guitar.  I swear she will never part with that thing.  It's something she's carried with her for as long as I can remember and I'm surprised it's still in pretty good condition considering the heat and the lack of strings around.  But she keeps it nice.  Woe be the day anyone breaks her baby; I think she might go berserk.  Even now, sitting under this tree we've found I can see her playing in the distance.  It's beautiful and melodic.  It can keep me sane just as it does to her.

I'm not sure if the guitar is a gift from our parents or not.  I guess that'd make sense… I just really don't want to bring it up.  I don't think she can even remember their faces, I know I have trouble.  They're just a blur.  Lost smiles and warm eyes that have forever disappeared from memory.  Our past isn't something we talk about much.

*shuffling*

Even now, it's not easy to talk about.  Shit, I don't even know why I should be telling you all of this… but what the hell.  It's not like I have to go into intense details.  And this is like a radio talk show right… with one person.  Ha.  Well where do I begin…?  We all know what it was like after 2012.

Chaos.  Utter madness.  The decent into all the filth and shit we accumulated over the years that now spilled out from the mouth of Hell and up into our homes.

It was terrifying.

Our parents were killed early on even though we all survived.  Murdered.  I can't give some sobbing, heartbreaking superhero story of how we saw them killed before our eyes.  It was much more anti-climactic than that.  We just came home one day and found the little hovel we had made for ourselves raided.   Our parents were dead.  Murdered by someone whose face I'll never see.  Tied up and shot.  It's sad that it's their dead faces that I remember the most.  They show the most vivid in my mind…

We wandered around the desert for quite some time after that, trying to find what we could.  Most raiders left us alone; two beat-up, worn out children didn't look like much of a threat.  They didn't quite understand though.  Just because someone doesn't look like a threat doesn't make it so.  It was those days that I first committed murder.

We found on a body out in, what I think is now Zone 8, with a gun attached to the hip.  His face had been completely blown in by someone, but at that point we were already pretty desensitized to the violence.

Lucky we found it when we did.  A couple of days later we had two creeps tryin' to get up on my sister.  I don't know exactly what they planned to do, but I really don't want to think about it.  I can say this for a fact; I remember this clearly.  I didn't realize it before it was too late, but I unloaded the whole clip of the gun into them.  It wasn't very smart, but it did the job well.  Problem was I had lost all my bullets.  I felt no remorse though.  No sadness or shock at what I had done.  Only anger.

Ugghhhh… this shit's hurting my head.  Living up all these memories.  It's probably not helping my depression.  I guess that just says something about me that I can remember my first kill as if it were playing over and over like a movie in my head, but I can't even remember one solid memory of my parents.  Except their lifeless, bloody faces, tied up and gagged.

…

…

Remembrance Raver's been ghosted…

God dammit… I know he'd be slapping me in the face for mopping about him like I am now.  I know exactly what he'd say to me.  "What the hell are you doing, sitting on the ground crying like some kid whose dropped his ice cream.  Get up!  You have a sister to look after!"

Yeah… something like that…  He wouldn't want me giving up over "someone as stupid and dimwitted like him."  Or so he'd put it.  It was quite the opposite though.  Remembrance Raver was anything but dimwitted.  In fact, I would say he was the smartest man I've ever met.

Like I said before, five years ago Remembrace saved us from a group of Dracs.  Almost got ourselves ghosted when he began picking them off one by one from somewhere out in the desert.  I remember him coming towards me like some sort of hero out of one of those old movies.  I don't know why but I thought for sure me and Twenty-Seven CAP were gonna be dusted on the spot.  Stupid thought considering this man had just saved out lives.  It wasn't until he got closer and we saw his brightly colored outfit we knew what side he was on.  From one Killjoy to another, he helped us out.  More than we would ever know at that time.

He took us under his wing for a bit.  He wasn't much older than myself, maybe by two or three years.  Yet he seemed so wise.  Maybe it was him being on his own for all that time.  It seemed that he didn't have anyone else to fall back on either; just another bunny zone hoppin'.  He gave us some actual food for once.  Nothing great, but it was way better than the kibble we were eating.  That night we talked for some time.  We got along quite well and in the morning we followed him.  It wasn't long before we were inseparable.  Really, it was like two weeks before it actually hit me that we had been following this guy around for two weeks!

Remembrance always seemed to have advice for us when we needed it.  I don't know much about his past; he never did like to talk about it.  But that was fine with me, cause he would never delve into ours either.  Instead we would just talk about the happy days; not that we couldn't be happy even in danger days like these.  We had plenty of fun adventures doing our own thing, adventuring the zones like we were on some great adventure.  Truly, we tried to make a game out of it.

That fool was never the best shot except when he was using his modified gun.  It had a longer barrel with a scope on it.  Damn he was a good shot with that thing!  I could never quite get used to it though.  I was much better with my own handy gun.  Remembrance was a good technician.  He helped fix an old iPod I had by putting a solar charger on it.  I just couldn't keep it charging too long, or it'd fry in the sun and catch fire.  So I always just kept it in the open when we walked around and that was a blessing.  To hear all my old music again from times long ago was such a relief.  I nearly burst into tears hearing some of my old favorite songs again; ones that I had forgotten long ago but were now coming back to me.  It reminded me why I wasn't all drugged up with BLI's shit.  Music was my happiness and art kept me going

Not that I didn't enjoy listening to Twenty-Seven CAP play her guitar, it was just nice to hear some drums or a bass line.  Remembrance was the one who CAP went to to get advice on her songs.  I swear the man knew everything.  Technician, sniper, songwriter, wise man, you name it.  Those two got along quite well.  I think Remembrance really enjoyed sitting and hearing Twenty-Seven CAP play her tunes because he had been so long without live music it hurt him.  He claimed he used to play guitar a long time ago.  Swore he could shred riffs and play love songs like no other.  I don't know if he was bullshitting or not, but it didn't matter.  He never one did ask CAP to use her guitar.  I think he knew how special it was too her.  Remembrance Raver was like that.  He knew people's limits and would never do anything to put them in an uncomfortable situation.  Something that was hard to find these days.

And then there were all the times we fought with those dirty ass Draculoids.  Well… it's hard to remember the fun times we had after I had to see him ghosted by one of them last week… but we did have a lot of fun.  We had grown so accustomed to ambushing them.  We'd always leave Twenty-Seven CAP behind when we went on our little 'hunts' as we called them.  She never did have a taste for violence.  She disliked guns to the bone and, as far as I know, she's never killed a human being, or even an animal that I can remember.

We had a lot of fun routing stupid Dracs, making them wonder where the hell in the desert we were.  We both had brown clothes for the most part so they couldn't really see us well.  We did have quite a few close calls though.  That was one of the main reasons we decided to stop zone jumping.  After awhile we just realized that we could spend our whole lives out here doing the same thing and one day we might just get ourselves ghosted.  Then where would we be?  Well, looking back on that now I can't help but laugh to myself.  I don't find it funny though.

For about six months we stocked up on supplies after finding our little hideaway in Zone 3.  We did pretty damn well if I don't say so myself.  For six months, we got enough shit to fill a decent sized house.  It'd last us for years I'd say.  I mean, hell, there are still things me and Twenty-Seven CAP left behind that we just couldn't fit with us when we left.  It'll be like Davy Jones' locker for whoever it lucky enough to find it.  Well, a very, very dry Davy Jones' locker I'd say.

Hmm…

*shuffling*

*cough*

What was I talking about again… shit I'm getting so into my own thoughts I've nearly forgotten that I'm actually airing this stuff live.  Well whatever… what have we got to lose?

The sand's picking up and throwing dust in our direction now.  The sun's about to set now and me and CAP really haven't found much cover for the night.  It's going to be cold.

She's off in the distance sitting on a rock playing, you guessed it, her guitar.  We haven't talked too much since heading out from our former home.  Short conversations, usually about where we're headed next.  Not a word's been said about Remembrance Raver…  I really don't know how she's taking it.  I know it bothers her but she won't let me on to it.  I'm just afraid she's going to bottle it all up and it'll explode at some point.  I can tell she's stressed out.  I just hope she knows I'm here for her…  I just don't feel like the greatest older brother at this point.  But I'll do everything I can to protect her.  After all, she's all I have left now.

We did meet a few Killjoys last week though.  Or at least I did, Twenty-Seven tends to keep her distance.  Couple of Dracs too.  Wanted to ghost those little mothers on the spot, but with just the two of us and with me toting the only gun (no matter how amazingly excellent a shot I might be) it's best not to attract attention.  I'm heading out to meet one of the Killjoy's now.  Poison Kiss is her name.  Maybe she could use our help; it'll give me some purpose.  Because right now I feel without one.

Damn…  wind's picking up.  It's getting cold.  I wonder if leaving our little hovel behind was a good idea.

Then again I'm living my life right?  We'll have to see what tomorrow brings.  Sucks I can't have my best bud here to see it with me.  I'd let me rage consume me, but tonight with the millions stars just now beginning to come out, I feel quite alone.

Stay trigger happy bunnies.  You'll hear from me next week and hopefully I won't just ramble the whole time.  This is Nightmare on 33.3 FM, out.

MUSIC KEEPING ME ALIVE TONIGHT:  I Miss You – Blink-182 (2002)

>>>>>>>END BROADCAST<<<<<<<

Description
The Trigger Happy Nightmare Radio Show #2
Shadows Livin' On in the Desert of Zone 4

Welcome to 33.3 FM, station of the guns blazin', slightly depressed at the moment, Trigger Happy.  AKA – Your worst Nightmare.

Yeah, I'm not doin' so good right now.  I seem to be spiraling down into nowhere lately and I can't get much sleep.  I keep having these weird dreams where I'm driving next to this creepy Jesus bobblehead while blasting rock music.  The desert whips past me in a blur and all I can see is the long stretch of road ahead of me seeming to go nowhere.  It rises over a hill in the distance, but I have no idea where the hell it goes.  The music reaches a crescendo every time like something huge is about to happen; like some kind of out-of-place dubstep drop in a rock song.  Yet before it hits I end up waking up breathing heavily in a cold sweat.

Damn it, I know it has something to do with that stupid poem I found a couple days ago!  I should probably get rid of the thing, but I can't seem to bring myself to throw it away.  Even if it's not that well written, it's a piece of art and if it survived the burning fires of 12', it's worth holding onto to for the pure fact that it's here physically.

The reoccurring dream is annoying for the reason that I can't interpret it for the life of me.  I used to be great at knowing what my dreams meant.  They're only subconscious thoughts floating around while the rest of your body's shut down right?  But that's not what's really getting me down these days.  Remembrace Raver's been ghosted.  I said that last week didn't I?  Well now it's kind of getting to me.  Reality's beginning to settle in.

I really don't want Twenty-Seven CAP to see me in any depressed state because our emotions in a way feed off of one another.  If I'm sad, she's sad.  If I'm happy, she's happy.  If I'm angry, she's angry – which is usually for a good reason, we get at each other's throats a lot.  But I can't let her see me sad this way.

She's pretty strong for only being fourteen years old though.  I forget that sometimes seeing as she's so independent.  Then again, she was only seven or so when all this shit went down and the world went to hell – quite literally.  She doesn't talk about when she was younger much; I honestly don't think she even remembers.  I'm not sure if it's better that way or not.  To remember what was once paradise compared to the shit we live in now is torture.

Well I guess it wasn't paradise, but we sure as hell took it for granted the time we lived there.

Well, at least she has no interest in BLI's brainwashing schemes.  She sees through their fakeness and lies with her own personal weapon: her guitar.  I swear she will never part with that thing.  It's something she's carried with her for as long as I can remember and I'm surprised it's still in pretty good condition considering the heat and the lack of strings around.  But she keeps it nice.  Woe be the day anyone breaks her baby; I think she might go berserk.  Even now, sitting under this tree we've found I can see her playing in the distance.  It's beautiful and melodic.  It can keep me sane just as it does to her.

I'm not sure if the guitar is a gift from our parents or not.  I guess that'd make sense… I just really don't want to bring it up.  I don't think she can even remember their faces, I know I have trouble.  They're just a blur.  Lost smiles and warm eyes that have forever disappeared from memory.  Our past isn't something we talk about much.

*shuffling*

Even now, it's not easy to talk about.  Shit, I don't even know why I should be telling you all of this… but what the hell.  It's not like I have to go into intense details.  And this is like a radio talk show right… with one person.  Ha.  Well where do I begin…?  We all know what it was like after 2012.

Chaos.  Utter madness.  The decent into all the filth and shit we accumulated over the years that now spilled out from the mouth of Hell and up into our homes.

It was terrifying.

Our parents were killed early on even though we all survived.  Murdered.  I can't give some sobbing, heartbreaking superhero story of how we saw them killed before our eyes.  It was much more anti-climactic than that.  We just came home one day and found the little hovel we had made for ourselves raided.   Our parents were dead.  Murdered by someone whose face I'll never see.  Tied up and shot.  It's sad that it's their dead faces that I remember the most.  They show the most vivid in my mind…

We wandered around the desert for quite some time after that, trying to find what we could.  Most raiders left us alone; two beat-up, worn out children didn't look like much of a threat.  They didn't quite understand though.  Just because someone doesn't look like a threat doesn't make it so.  It was those days that I first committed murder.

We found on a body out in, what I think is now Zone 8, with a gun attached to the hip.  His face had been completely blown in by someone, but at that point we were already pretty desensitized to the violence.

Lucky we found it when we did.  A couple of days later we had two creeps tryin' to get up on my sister.  I don't know exactly what they planned to do, but I really don't want to think about it.  I can say this for a fact; I remember this clearly.  I didn't realize it before it was too late, but I unloaded the whole clip of the gun into them.  It wasn't very smart, but it did the job well.  Problem was I had lost all my bullets.  I felt no remorse though.  No sadness or shock at what I had done.  Only anger.

Ugghhhh… this shit's hurting my head.  Living up all these memories.  It's probably not helping my depression.  I guess that just says something about me that I can remember my first kill as if it were playing over and over like a movie in my head, but I can't even remember one solid memory of my parents.  Except their lifeless, bloody faces, tied up and gagged.

…

…

Remembrance Raver's been ghosted…

God dammit… I know he'd be slapping me in the face for mopping about him like I am now.  I know exactly what he'd say to me.  "What the hell are you doing, sitting on the ground crying like some kid whose dropped his ice cream.  Get up!  You have a sister to look after!"

Yeah… something like that…  He wouldn't want me giving up over "someone as stupid and dimwitted like him."  Or so he'd put it.  It was quite the opposite though.  Remembrance Raver was anything but dimwitted.  In fact, I would say he was the smartest man I've ever met.

Like I said before, five years ago Remembrace saved us from a group of Dracs.  Almost got ourselves ghosted when he began picking them off one by one from somewhere out in the desert.  I remember him coming towards me like some sort of hero out of one of those old movies.  I don't know why but I thought for sure me and Twenty-Seven CAP were gonna be dusted on the spot.  Stupid thought considering this man had just saved out lives.  It wasn't until he got closer and we saw his brightly colored outfit we knew what side he was on.  From one Killjoy to another, he helped us out.  More than we would ever know at that time.

He took us under his wing for a bit.  He wasn't much older than myself, maybe by two or three years.  Yet he seemed so wise.  Maybe it was him being on his own for all that time.  It seemed that he didn't have anyone else to fall back on either; just another bunny zone hoppin'.  He gave us some actual food for once.  Nothing great, but it was way better than the kibble we were eating.  That night we talked for some time.  We got along quite well and in the morning we followed him.  It wasn't long before we were inseparable.  Really, it was like two weeks before it actually hit me that we had been following this guy around for two weeks!

Remembrance always seemed to have advice for us when we needed it.  I don't know much about his past; he never did like to talk about it.  But that was fine with me, cause he would never delve into ours either.  Instead we would just talk about the happy days; not that we couldn't be happy even in danger days like these.  We had plenty of fun adventures doing our own thing, adventuring the zones like we were on some great adventure.  Truly, we tried to make a game out of it.

That fool was never the best shot except when he was using his modified gun.  It had a longer barrel with a scope on it.  Damn he was a good shot with that thing!  I could never quite get used to it though.  I was much better with my own handy gun.  Remembrance was a good technician.  He helped fix an old iPod I had by putting a solar charger on it.  I just couldn't keep it charging too long, or it'd fry in the sun and catch fire.  So I always just kept it in the open when we walked around and that was a blessing.  To hear all my old music again from times long ago was such a relief.  I nearly burst into tears hearing some of my old favorite songs again; ones that I had forgotten long ago but were now coming back to me.  It reminded me why I wasn't all drugged up with BLI's shit.  Music was my happiness and art kept me going

Not that I didn't enjoy listening to Twenty-Seven CAP play her guitar, it was just nice to hear some drums or a bass line.  Remembrance was the one who CAP went to to get advice on her songs.  I swear the man knew everything.  Technician, sniper, songwriter, wise man, you name it.  Those two got along quite well.  I think Remembrance really enjoyed sitting and hearing Twenty-Seven CAP play her tunes because he had been so long without live music it hurt him.  He claimed he used to play guitar a long time ago.  Swore he could shred riffs and play love songs like no other.  I don't know if he was bullshitting or not, but it didn't matter.  He never one did ask CAP to use her guitar.  I think he knew how special it was too her.  Remembrance Raver was like that.  He knew people's limits and would never do anything to put them in an uncomfortable situation.  Something that was hard to find these days.

And then there were all the times we fought with those dirty ass Draculoids.  Well… it's hard to remember the fun times we had after I had to see him ghosted by one of them last week… but we did have a lot of fun.  We had grown so accustomed to ambushing them.  We'd always leave Twenty-Seven CAP behind when we went on our little 'hunts' as we called them.  She never did have a taste for violence.  She disliked guns to the bone and, as far as I know, she's never killed a human being, or even an animal that I can remember.

We had a lot of fun routing stupid Dracs, making them wonder where the hell in the desert we were.  We both had brown clothes for the most part so they couldn't really see us well.  We did have quite a few close calls though.  That was one of the main reasons we decided to stop zone jumping.  After awhile we just realized that we could spend our whole lives out here doing the same thing and one day we might just get ourselves ghosted.  Then where would we be?  Well, looking back on that now I can't help but laugh to myself.  I don't find it funny though.

For about six months we stocked up on supplies after finding our little hideaway in Zone 3.  We did pretty damn well if I don't say so myself.  For six months, we got enough shit to fill a decent sized house.  It'd last us for years I'd say.  I mean, hell, there are still things me and Twenty-Seven CAP left behind that we just couldn't fit with us when we left.  It'll be like Davy Jones' locker for whoever it lucky enough to find it.  Well, a very, very dry Davy Jones' locker I'd say.

Hmm…

*shuffling*

*cough*

What was I talking about again… shit I'm getting so into my own thoughts I've nearly forgotten that I'm actually airing this stuff live.  Well whatever… what have we got to lose?

The sand's picking up and throwing dust in our direction now.  The sun's about to set now and me and CAP really haven't found much cover for the night.  It's going to be cold.

She's off in the distance sitting on a rock playing, you guessed it, her guitar.  We haven't talked too much since heading out from our former home.  Short conversations, usually about where we're headed next.  Not a word's been said about Remembrance Raver…  I really don't know how she's taking it.  I know it bothers her but she won't let me on to it.  I'm just afraid she's going to bottle it all up and it'll explode at some point.  I can tell she's stressed out.  I just hope she knows I'm here for her…  I just don't feel like the greatest older brother at this point.  But I'll do everything I can to protect her.  After all, she's all I have left now.

We did meet a few Killjoys last week though.  Or at least I did, Twenty-Seven tends to keep her distance.  Couple of Dracs too.  Wanted to ghost those little mothers on the spot, but with just the two of us and with me toting the only gun (no matter how amazingly excellent a shot I might be) it's best not to attract attention.  I'm heading out to meet one of the Killjoy's now.  Poison Kiss is her name.  Maybe she could use our help; it'll give me some purpose.  Because right now I feel without one.

Damn…  wind's picking up.  It's getting cold.  I wonder if leaving our little hovel behind was a good idea.

Then again I'm living my life right?  We'll have to see what tomorrow brings.  Sucks I can't have my best bud here to see it with me.  I'd let me rage consume me, but tonight with the millions stars just now beginning to come out, I feel quite alone.

Stay trigger happy bunnies.  You'll hear from me next week and hopefully I won't just ramble the whole time.  This is Nightmare on 33.3 FM, out.

MUSIC KEEPING ME ALIVE TONIGHT:  I Miss You – Blink-182 (2002)

>>>>>>>END BROADCAST<<<<<<<