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turbopower1000 In reply to d715 [2012-12-04 00:20:07 +0000 UTC]

Aww, I would like to improve the story for you. Did you read it at [link] ? If so, it would be incredibly helpful. You could supply me with ideas for improving it. I'm trying to go more in depth with Equestrian history, and this is merely a segment of my complete idea. Anyways, I haven't thoroughly covered the history yet, but every antagonist has a story. I believe that there is no such thing as a real "bad guy", just a misunderstood protagonist built on environment and genetics. This description is the prelude to the story, the tip of the iceberg, where King Sombra, founder of Equestria, is overthrown by the new princesses(as they have only recently assumed control, power is unevenly distributed leading to the first Lunar Rebellion, increased poverty in industrialized cities, the loss of powerful relics, conversion of the crystal mines to Canterlot castle, destruction of the modern badlands, etc.). When his wife is mutated by the radiation of weaponized magic, he seeks dark magic to heal her. In his hasty experiments, he turns his soul evil, but casts his former self into relics lost in time. I'm sorry if I didn't go deep enough yet, I'll get on that soon. Besides, this is only the back story to Early Equestria, and I haven't worked on it much. I hope this makes up for my mistake .

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d715 In reply to turbopower1000 [2012-12-04 03:13:57 +0000 UTC]

well the fact that Equestria was founded by six mares (maybe one of them was a stallion) form three different kingdoms is one problem. And that Sombra is form another nation and clearly born after the hearts warming is another.

And this sounds like the Dune Prequels which has the harkonnens as the good guys who get turned evil in the end. And those books are god awful.

Why not just have him as the ruler of the crystal empire and the princess have just defeated Discord meaning Equestria is still recovering Sombra helps rebuild Equestria and teaches the Princesses how to rule, use there new powers (I'm going with the ideal that they were once normal ponies) ect.

And you think of something he turns evil and enslaves his nation

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turbopower1000 In reply to d715 [2012-12-04 03:55:03 +0000 UTC]

I guess you're right, so Early Equestria isn't really a good name for the story. This story really would take place long before then, when and if King Sombra still ruled. ("Daughter of the unicorn king"- maybe Sombra's daughter?, a new military force in cloudsdayle, the slavery of Earth ponies), these could all be the hasty remains of the recently rebuilt kingdom. Plus, Equestria contains an alicorn amulet (something like this may have turned him evil, like it turned Trixie evil). Other amulets may exist too, as hinted by Trixie.

Canterlot wasn't established at this time, but perhaps the princesses resided in other towns after destroying King Sombra. Equestria is also littered with evil animals, ruins, and artifacts, which may all originate from separate wars. Either way, King Sombra was banished to shadow just before Princess Luna was exiled, and discord was turned to stone after both of these events(elements of harmony rather than help from her sister). Chrysalis is also a mutant or something that feeds off of love, the opposite of what King Sombra manipulated(perhaps he was trying to save Chrysalis by weakening her?).

Modern Equestria also contains nuclear reactors, telescopes, EEGs, poisons, locomotives, and hints of abandoned mines.

Thanks for the advice, I will try to change it soon.

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d715 In reply to turbopower1000 [2012-12-04 04:59:43 +0000 UTC]

enslaved earth ponies? why? Equestria was co-founded by all three nations/races. Doing a hateful dick move like that is the reason why windigos showed up in the first place.

Plus those were Crystal ponies.

Its stated they lived were the Everfree Forest is now.

Right now it seems like the events followed as

Equestria is founded
Discord shows up
Celestia and Luna defeat Discord
fight Sombra
Luna Becomes Nightmare Moon

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turbopower1000 In reply to d715 [2012-12-04 05:30:51 +0000 UTC]

I guess that makes sense...

Still, I'm pretty sure that the events were

(Maybe Sombra's reign?)
Unnamed pony region is very unstable, leading to windigo arrival
Equestria is founded
Celestia and Luna cast Sombra to shadow
Luna is exiled
Celestia uses the elements to cast Luna to the moon
Celestia uses the elements to defeat discord

But I could be wrong. This entire fanfic is just based on a theory.

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d715 In reply to turbopower1000 [2012-12-04 06:05:39 +0000 UTC]

again dude there were three nations before the windigos

well Celestia stated she and luna defeated discord and then started ruling Equestria

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turbopower1000 In reply to d715 [2012-12-04 23:28:56 +0000 UTC]

That just destroyed my storyline... But, perhaps it takes place long after the discord battle was fought? I guess it could still work where Sombra was the first ruler of the land, then he was exiled to the frozen north, where he took over the nearest empire, while his daughter and 2 other clans joined to create Equestria. Next, a series of events led to the ultimate destruction of the Sombra and Discord loyalists, leaving Equestria in shambles. Celestia and Luna quickly build canterlot on one of the abandoned mountains, and an industrialization spreads throughout Equestria. This is where the story takes place. While canterlot is in construction, Princess Luna fights Princess Celestia for more power, but is ultimately cast to the moon.

Not much of a change, as I didn't write anything about Discord yet.

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d715 In reply to turbopower1000 [2012-12-05 03:38:16 +0000 UTC]

You know its your story go for it

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