HOME | DD
Published: 2009-11-30 12:56:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 81; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
Redirect to original
Description
All those glances in the hallways,Touches that linger just short of skin.
Faint sounds of protest at every step,
Sarcastic fishes with scornful fins.
Strangers upon strangers,
Sporting overly-saintly faces.
Of kindness and - so gracious,
Seeping into unknown places.
Chamomile tea and biscuits galore,
To make their way to different rooms.
With little notes on crumpled yellow paper,
And cleaner-uppers with their immaculate brooms.
Not the oddest of the odder-ingers,
But altogether, some pretty odd stuff.
For sympathetic singing salamanders,
Mostly I'm just odd enough.
Related content
Comments: 6
coldfalafel [2009-11-30 13:24:26 +0000 UTC]
i just noticed this feels a little Dr. Seuss-ish (which is a great thing)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
UnImpossible In reply to coldfalafel [2009-11-30 13:30:35 +0000 UTC]
Hmm.
I think you're right (:
Maybe it's the salamanders
and fishes?
Dr. Seuss loves fishes.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
XStormXAlchemistX [2009-11-30 13:02:34 +0000 UTC]
I love how the wording makes you think so many things, but all around you can feel the one centered truth to it. It's really great.
I have to say though,
"All those glances in the hallways,
Touches that linger just short of skin.
Faint sounds of protest at every step,
Sarcastic fishes with scornful fins."
Really drew me in. That was just an amazing way to start this poem off.
And the last stanza is just awesome. I love how you worded it. I just really do.
Also, the rhythm in the second stanza's great, it kind of reminds me of something that's Escape the Fate-ie. XD I dunno why.
Not too mention I also think the imagery you used in the third stanza's awesome. It really brings out a lot of nostalgia for me, it's just really great.
So all in all, I think if anything that you can bring from this comment is that I love it. XD
(And I know this comment is short, and that it's shit but I'm about to go to school.. my brain is dead. XD)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
UnImpossible In reply to XStormXAlchemistX [2009-11-30 13:24:59 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much!
Comments are never shit.
Especially comments like yours,
where the reader actually gives some feedback and opinions about piece of writing.
Those kinds of comments give me the fuzzlies inside (:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
XStormXAlchemistX In reply to UnImpossible [2009-11-30 23:01:40 +0000 UTC]
XD Yay! You're welcome then. It's a really good poem.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0