HOME | DD

Unknown-Variable — Calculated Chaos 029 - END

Published: 2012-11-04 19:26:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 822; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 1
Redirect to original
Description ===Title===
Round 2, hopefully!! <===Next
Previous===>

Credits
Art, Sliphnir (c) =Unknown-Variable
Charon, OCT Concept (c) #MOKO-OCT


Artist Comments
I hope this is adequate.
If parts are confusing, do not be afraid to ask questions. However, everything is explained or mentioned in the entry, so I would really appreciate it if you read closely before asking. If you are having trouble understanding the metaphysical part of the entry, please take a look at this . It is the most basic of philosophy of which I view my story-telling world and is the basis for how I operate within it.

Major Characters
Nate, Ekhart, Taylor, Andrea, Senri, Anubis, Loki, Minos, Aeacus, Rhadamanthys, Lonnie

Major Game Changers
*Minos has been devoured by Fenrir, who is currently guarding the only portal out of Hades which is located on River Styx.
....And due to Minos's disappearance, several effects took place:
~After a while of receiving no new orders from Minos, Kai has started to paint the entrance to Hades rainbow, and will attempt to chase out people who get in his way.
~Aeacus and Rhadamanthys have taken over Minos's position and will very grudgingly accept the all-access passes that were issued by Minos.
~There has been a violent schism in Hades (between FLEET and the newly dead souls) with those who sell themselves to the new judges and those who remain loyal to Minos.
~Charon has fled Hades, and is currently in the Egyptian afterlife.

Summary
The story opens up right where the audition ends. Anubis demands Ekhart tell him what she knows of Charon's disappearance, yet she is difficult with him, fleeing on her skateboard.
Taylor and Andrea are attempting to leave the Halls as Ekhart runs from Anubis. They light the lantern, using it to try to sneak past FLEET guards. Just when they are about to make it, Ekhart comes barreling in, crashing right into the two. When Ekhart kicks their lantern away, Taylor almost gets into a fight. Yet Anubis catches up and breaks them up.

Andrea asks if she and Taylor could go. When Anubis asks for paperwork, she takes a pass from Ekhart, who picked it up from a KO'd FLEET member, and Anubis allows them to leave. Finally caught up with Ekhart, Anubis gets the information he was looking for. But it was old news, and he lets Ekhart know just how useless she is before storming off. Ekhart tries to not let it bother her, but fails.
Needing to let off some steam after dealing with Ekhart and being denied an audience with the ever busy Minos, he pays Thoth a visit. He gripes about the souls and their lack of respect. Thoth very clearly sees Osiris reflected in Anubis's words, yet the Jackal God scoffs at the comment. In his ever-vast knowledge, Thoth tells Anubis that the foul temper usually cause change around them, whether from anger or ill-thought out plans. Catching onto the riddle, Anubis bolts when Thoth says he, too, is busy and must work.
Anubis catches up to Ekhart rather easily, who is nursing her ankle. He tries to get her to tag along with him, yet she refuses, stubbornly waiting for him to leave.

Thoth is shown working, observing the scales of the multiverse. Everything seems all right, yet a dripping catches Thoth's attention. When he turns, he is shocked to see one of his scales is overflowing with water. He rushes to stop it, yet it explodes. When Thoth looks up again, the scales are gone, yet the universe is preserved in the water which is frozen in time. Thoth, having never seen this before, is baffled.

Nate finally awakes from his nap, surprised to see the Halls have emptied. He goes around, gathering information about the rivers, Asphodel fields, and strange rumors surrounding the river Styx. He picks up a map before leaving the Halls.

Once out of the Halls, he and Senri are about to leave when a hologram of the Robinot catches their attention. Nate and Senri, after the spontaneous combustion of the Robinot hologram, don the translator-clasps to their ears and are ecstatic to be able to understand each other. Nate makes sure to grab a couple more, just to be safe. Just as they are about to hit it off, Andrea and Taylor exit the Halls. They walk by the two boys, discussing their plans. Nate, who remembered Robinot saying the grove was dangerous, asks if he and Senri could accompany them. Taylor, after some convincing from Andrea, allow them to tag along.

As they are leaving, the scene cuts to Minos. Details about his work and rumors around the river Styx are revealed. As he is investigating the disappearances around the river, he runs into Persephone. They are both radiating anger towards each other. Yet it all vanishes when Persephone shows Minos a portal on the river. She explains that this portal was probably a travel point made by Charon to travel down connecting rivers. Minos is so enthralled by it that he doesn't realize Persephone is not who she is until it is too late.
Loki, who had disguised himself as Persephone, tells Minos, who had been devoured by Fenrir, that he only has one job now: think and remember. He leaves Fenrir by the portal to watch out and devour any more curious souls and Sliphnir is sent to chase after Charon.

Back to Nate and co, they are walking through the forest. Nate is somewhat unnerved by the Grove, yet Taylor writes it off, telling him to relax. They formally introduce themselves, Senri paying close attention to Andrea's claim at healing, seemingly disappointed when he learns she only heals the mind. There is a sudden howl, which spurs the group onward. Yet when Taylor turns around to get her dropped lighter from Senri, they are somehow right back at the entrance of the forest.
Nate realizes that this realm is playing tricks on them, and suggests they all glitch to quickly reach their destination. However, Taylor and Andrea are wary of someone casting such a 'spell' on them and dragging them to an alternate dimension. Unnerved, they leave, Nate emphasizing that he will see them in about five minutes.
After the two walk for five minutes, they realize what Nate said was true and, after he promises up and down that they will be safe and nothing bad has happened, they glitch.

Back to Ekhart and Anubis, Ekhart is fed up with waiting for him to leave. She heads out herself, and yells at Anubis when he follows. They get on the topic of family, and just as Anubis is about to tell her of Osiris, they bump into him, quite literally. Ekhart yells at him, and he slaps her. Losing her temper, she attacks, yet is held back by Anubis. Osiris gives a task to Anubis - go to the Hall of Judgment and bring him records on Hade's souls. Before he leaves, He tells Anubis to keep Ekhart on a tighter leash.
Upon learning that Osiris is Anubis's dad, she calls hims names, half-heartedly apologizing, grating on Anubis's temper. She flares up in response, saying he's not the only one who has a bad father. Upon seeing this small field of similarity, he grasps it.

Yet Ekhart says it doesn't mean much, heading out her own way. Anubis tricks her into going with him, though, using the excuse that she has no idea where she is going.
The two walk together, left alone with their thoughts. They think rather similarly, both still wanting to use the other, but realizing that they each probably went through some bad shit. They attempt to reach out to each other, Ekhart running to walk beside him instead of behind. They continue to argue, and Ekhart waves her powered up fist in his face. Not wanting to deal with her anger, he tells her to deactivate and keep walking. Ekhart, knowing that it would backlash if she did that, decides to punch the cave wall instead.

She is quickly stopped by Anubis, who knows it would cause a cave-in. Instead, he throws rocks at Ekhart and they slowly unleash the build up of energy. The destructive tendency of Ekhart's powers is revealed, yet they successfully siphon off her powers, resulting in little backlash upon herself.
Just as they finish, two FLEET members approach them. Kai demands that they leave, which they quickly do. Cipher asks Kai why they had to evacuate the Halls, and Kai demands Cipher help her paint, due to Minos being gone for so long and no new orders being given to them. Cipher is reluctant, yet the pushy Qilin convinces him to help. Kai ends up painting over the fourth wall.

The scene switches back to Nate, who is floating. He realizes something is wrong and that his glitching messed up. He flies around and comes across two of his friends, Trey and Grigorian. Due to the magical properties of Grigorian's magic eye, he is able to see and hear Nate, and informs Nate that he somehow returned home. Nate tells them to keep an eye out for 1337 and tell his mom that he will be home. They assure him it will be done, but when Nate fades back to Hades, they reveal their true colors, calling a mysterious Chillingworth and reporting that their take-over of Tellurium is going as planned.

Taylor and Andrea are sent back to Chicago. Angry and confused, Andrea attempts to reach someone. She fails, and, when a car goes speeding towards Taylor, Andrea pushes her friend out of the way. That makes them realize that they are ghosts.
There are sudden gunshots, and they see the police attack a man and his son, thinking they are witches. There is a stand off, and the two watch as the cops put bullets into both the man and child before fading back to Hades.

When they return to Hades, Taylor attacks Nate, pissed that he lied to her. Nate attempts to calm her down. When neither he nor Senri retaliate, they calm slightly. Nate explains that they must have been projected without actually leaving Hades due to being trapped. He apologizes profusely and Taylor knows he's not lying, yet she doesn't forgive him easily, Andrea still shook up over the events that had passed. Either way, they all continue into the Hall of Judgement together.

Yet they are immediately told that their pass is ineffective due to Minos no longer being the high authority. The new judges, Rhadamanthys and Aeacus, ignore the problem in front of them and have a FLEET member escort the two out.

Once out of an earshot from the judges, the FLEET member tells them that Minos has been missing for days and Rhadamanthys and Aeacus are messing everything up. Nate is flabbergasted and attempts to contact Aru, yet the samurai does not respond. The zombie continues to complain, saying that they still need help despite the complications. There is still not reply from Aru to Nate. The boy begins to vanish slightly, yet doesn't realize it.
Andrea agrees to help the zombie, and he thanks her before vanishing back inside. The group decides to scout and head down the walls, finding a group of vines growing up the side.

Andrea climbs up, followed by Senri, who is immobilized by stomach pains. Just as Taylor is climbing up, they are ambushed by the Primary Color Bandit Trio, who are acting as patrol. Nate and Taylor are swiftly captured, while Andrea and Senri are left to their own devices.

The scene cuts back to Ekhart and Anubis, who are traveling through the grove. Anubis is having a difficult time, due to the smell. Yet they experience the same problem Nate and co did. Anubis explains that Hades, a metaphysical realm, is having to stretch and change itself to accommodate the influx of souls. Ekhart, realizing it's mind over matter, talks about how close they are to the exit. Soon, it becomes reality and they emerge from the grove, Ekhart believing that they can employ the same tactics for the Asphodel fields.

Taylor and Nate are chained to a wall in Tartarus. Taylor struggles against her bonds to no avail. Nate tries to contact Aru, feeling lost in this unfamiliar situation. When Aru is silent, Nate gives up on him. Attempting to reassure Taylor, he dislocates his wrist to slide out from the chains. Able to reach his sword, he painfully cuts off the remaining bond off his wrist before freeing Taylor, who says what he did was unnecessary. He is unconvinced and they beat it before the guards come.

After a while of exploring, they are stopped by a voice. A demon is chained up and the two refuse to let him go at first. When the demon says he part of the FLEET and was thrown in here because of the new judges, Nate is quick to free him. Other souls who were unjustly imprisoned demand freedom, and Nate hurries to help. Taylor realizes that they can't save everyone, and goes about looking for an exit.
She hears a voice, calling a child 'honey' repeatedly. Remembering what Izanami said about Iris being in Tartarus, she quickly reaches for her gun and unloads into the blonde woman's back.
Nate quickly finds her and demands an answer to her actions. Explaining that the woman was Iris, Taylor goes to comfort the child. But Nate tells her of features Iris does not possess. The child freaks out, going to the corpse of her mother and Taylor tries to calm her as Nate hears guards approach.
Nate tries -and fails again - to reach Aru and comforts the child himself, learning that her name is Lonnie. After a bit of convincing, she allows Nate to hold her. Taylor lights the lantern just in time and they are able to hide from the guards. Lonnie directs them to a way out and they leave the puzzled guards.

Back to Andrea and Senri, the Prince is suffering from intense stomach pains and cannot move. The woman does not leave him, however, and she paces and worries over Taylor's well being. After a while, the worst of the pain subsides and the two head back to the Asphodel fields. They reach a bridge and ask the guards to be let through, Andrea attempting to persuade their benevolent side by lying about Taylor and Senri being her family. However, one of them refuses to let them through and the other leads them away. Feeling sympathetic, he tells them of secret tunnels around Tartarus and to find one of those to get in. Andrea and Senri set off to look.

Ekhart and Anubis finally make it to the Halls of Judgment after being stalled by the judges. Anubis isn't too worried about returning late to Osiris, just so long as they get the records. Ekhart notices Senri and Andrea down in the fields, and is curious to where Nate is. She barrels off to investigate, jumping off the wall. When she catches up to them, Andrea tells her that Nate and Taylor were captured. Poorly hiding her worry, she wants to help find them. But Anubis tries to get her to return to the Hall with him. Through a bit of subtle manipulation, Ekhart manages to get Anubis to help them free Nate and Taylor.
While they are walking, Andrea and EKhart talk, Ekhart confused at the level of trust Andrea has for her friend.

Nate and Taylor are led through tunnels by Lonnie. When they hear footsteps, they hide. But it is a benevolent woman who is respected by the child. After ushering the child away, she leads the two out.
She tells them not to worry about the Ferryman or anything, as they have no power to change anything and soon it won't matter anymore. Nate runs off, but Taylor lags behind, questioning whether or not she deserved to stay. The Lady reads her well, and says she must have the heart to change her ways, but Taylor flees.

They manage to get out of the tunnels and, luck have it, the two spot Andrea and co. Reunited, they talk, the girls asking how each of them managed to escape. Nate demands to know why Ekhart was there, and Andrea says that she was actually worried about him. EKhart then waves goodbye, saying she and Anubis must return to the Hall of Judgement. The others want to use Anubis's authority to get over and, after Nate suggests they split up afterwards, Anubis agrees.
But the guards on duty refuse to let anyone but Anubis through. Ekhart suggests beating them up when two FLEET members beat them to it. Kai ushers them onward just as two other guards appear. Kai gets beat up by his own characters and the two give chase.

In the archives, the group begins looking for Anubis's file. Nate and Senri build a barricade to keep Sore and Deon out. Taylor looks through the files to see if Iris actually was in Hades. She accidentally lets it slip to Andrea, who demands to know what happened. Taylor gets out of spilling the beans when Ekhart tells them to keep looking.
Soon, Deon forces his way through and they attack Andrea. Taylor uses her magic to buy them some escaping time, and Nate, Ekhart, Anubis, and Senri escape to Erebus. Yet the demons misread her suggestions and attack, slicing Andrea across the face. Out of time, they run to the nearest window, escaping to the Asphodel fields.

In the epilogue, Charon guides his ferry through a flooded Egyptian afterlife, Sleiphnir hot on his trail.

F.A.Q.
*So us FLEET folk are villains now?
~~~They weren't FLEET people. I wouldn't decide what other people's avatars do without asking them first. Which is why I use my own characters. Their goals and reasoning are clear to me and up to me - and me alone - to decide and change.
It's mainly newly dead who are working for the new judges. If you notice on the second to last page of my audition, the blue haired elf woman, Kayla, is there. I wanted to have a way to further establish chaos in this round, and what better way to have people who are supposed to be working together oppose each other? While Aeacus and Rhadamanthys have been reestablished in their positions, it crossed my mind that most of the FLEET members - if not all - wouldn't want to follow them. They're assholes and they're entirely wrong about how they are handling the situation, a juxtaposition to how well Minos was able to control the realm.
Given this, not only is there imbalance, miscommunication and chaos in the many newly and unsorted dead who are trapped in Hades, but it is only multiplied as it travels up the ranks of FLEET members who refuse to obey Aeacus and Rhadamanthys (like Kai, who beats up Teno and Phora to allow Nate, Ekhart, Taylor, Andrea, Anubis and Senri travel through the Halls of Judgement) and those who would follow their orders for whatever personal reasons.
Related content
Comments: 11

Tannaquil [2012-11-12 21:06:13 +0000 UTC]

You put out a really grand and elaborate entry, Uno. ^^ But maybe a little too grand and elaborate. First if all, it's a little long, and I know it had to be long in order for you to include everything you wanted to. But at the same time, the length can be a little off-putting. I meandered through reading the whole thing and had to force myself to keep going. But, I was rewarded with some real gems. Every once in a while, I came across a page that stunned me and made me excited to read more. On the whole, it dragged a little (at least for me) but it did not fail to keep interest. Those gems I mentioned were Thoth in his room of scales, the interactive pages, Loki tricking Minos and showing him the portal, the endless labyrinth in the Poplar Grove, Taylor and Nate escaping Tartarus, the confrontation with "Iris," and the Lady.

You had a ton of amazing ideas, but I think you were trying to do a little too much. You juggled three plot threads--sometimes more--that, while being intricately connected, went all over the place. The biggest detriment to your entry, I think, was its lack of focus. As a reader, I find it difficult to decipher what the main thread of the round was. Was it Ekhart and Anubis connecting over their daddy issues? Was it about the multiverses' water being thrown out of alignment? Was it about Loki's plan to keep the portal hidden? Was it about Senri's stomach pains? Was it about Taylor confronting her past actions and finding redemption? Was it about the takeover of Tellurium? Was it about Taylor and Andrea looking for a dead nemesis to settle some kind of score? Was it about the characters going through a sequence of mazes and mind-benders? What? WHAT!? The end result was a long entry with a ton of interesting ideas, characters, and concepts, but there were so many that they were glanced over and not given the attention that each deserved.

I can tell you were really excited for Round One--I know I was ^^--and wanted to get all of your ideas out there. But I felt like your entry would have been stronger if it had focused on one or two of those ideas instead of all of them at once. It's fine to have a group split up and have them run into different obstacles, and to have several plot threads that overlap, but such complexities need to be handled delicately. It can be done, and you came really, really close. But I still feel like you were trying to do too much. :/ I was a little overwhelmed at all the shit that was being flung at me.

That said, it was a ton of fun to read, and I absolutely loved parts of it. Your extraordinary amount of effort is apparent, and congrats on finishing this monster on time and having it look pretty and shiny for us. ^^

Holy shit, long reply is long... I hope you don't mind too much. ^^'

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Unknown-Variable In reply to Tannaquil [2012-11-12 21:20:49 +0000 UTC]

Hmmm. I see what you mean about putting so much out there. I'm glad there were enough interesting parts to keep you going with reading it! Hopefully that means the judges won't end up skimming it... But you're right about focusing. Both my mom and Sid said I didn't give enough attention to emotions and characters, opting out for grand, convoluted plots. |D;; I'll have to narrow my focus. Or at least give the points that I glazed over more meaning. I have ideas for Tellurium, Ekhart and Anubis, and making connections from the scales to other parts of the entry if I continue on.

Thanks for writing this! I don't mind at all. OCTs are about improvement and I want to make sure my story telling skills are improving throughout! ^^ Plus, with critiques earlier on, I have more time to rethink my battle plans and layout ideas in case I make it to round 2. ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Tannaquil In reply to Unknown-Variable [2012-11-12 21:32:33 +0000 UTC]

Good. ^^ I'm glad I'm helping you to improve. But yeah, watch out for intricate, lengthy plots that lack proper pacing or characterization. Those get me sometimes, too. The trick is to slow down.

Good luck in the judging!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Unknown-Variable In reply to Tannaquil [2012-11-12 21:46:04 +0000 UTC]

Slowing down will be hard for a speed demon like myself... I think if I am able to tie everything together, it will be worth it, however. |D

Thanks!! You too! I hope to see you in r2! 8D

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Pirate-Jenny [2012-11-05 04:24:01 +0000 UTC]

So...many...pages... Cannot...comment...

Suffice to say, I'm impressed by how much you managed to fit in here! And I may have developed a certain amount of fondness for poor Ekhart after writing her for our entry, but don't tell her that.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Unknown-Variable In reply to Pirate-Jenny [2012-11-05 04:30:27 +0000 UTC]

Hahaha |D I think I went a little bit overboard. eue

Thanks! I hope it all turned out all right. =u= This is my first non-fighting tournament and I think I want to do too much in too little of a time. Hahaha. Managed to get it all in this time, though |D;;;
I wouldn't dare tell her :'D She may shoot the messenger and give me a nice, black eye. *shot*

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Khyansaria [2012-11-05 03:01:29 +0000 UTC]

Best of luck! Not going to go through and comment on all of the pages Suffice to say you made us laugh quite a lot and there are a lot of good moments in there.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Unknown-Variable In reply to Khyansaria [2012-11-05 03:20:55 +0000 UTC]

|D Yay for laughing! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :> Or I hope you enjoyed it Ahaha |D
It was great being your opponent! And best of luck to you, too! ^u^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

the-twilight-knight [2012-11-04 23:45:36 +0000 UTC]

I feel so sorry for the judges...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lithicbee In reply to the-twilight-knight [2012-11-19 05:52:36 +0000 UTC]

I appreciate that.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Digiridoo [2012-11-04 23:36:32 +0000 UTC]

I wasted a GOOD chuck of time reading this...And I haven't completed my entry... *Runs off after clicking favorite*

👍: 0 ⏩: 0