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Published: 2009-08-13 00:06:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 240; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 6
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Description
It was night and no lights were on in the most buildings. Some of them were very tall and others not. Old that is seems it has been abandoned for many years. There were some windows with glass that reflected flashes form the lighting storm that rages all over the city. Claps of thunder echoed across the sky. Suddenly the sounds of thunder were disturbed by the sound of a helicopter. It was black and little larger than normal ones, to carry a very small group of people or equipment. It flew towards a building, which was in good condition compared to the other. Even being in “good” condition, it was a small four floor building. On top of the roof there was some square structure that leads into the building. In front of it seems to be two soldiers guarding the door. As the helicopter approaches the soldiers held their machineguns in front of them. They heard the sound of it and were trying to find the source. The flashes from the lighting interfered with the night vision goggles that they used, making it hard to spot the source of the sound. The helicopter finally arrived at the building and stopped in the air just in front of the edge. The side door from it was facing the two soldiers. Suddenly the side door from the helicopter opened. The soldiers opened fire to try to take it out, but there was a powerful machine gun on bored and it began to shooting them with brute force. Even with the re-forced bullet prove vest, they stood no chance and were easily killed. The bodies were pushed to the walls, next to the door, by the impact. They were wounded on the neck, chest, arms and legs. Blood was leaking form the wounds and made a puddle of blood under the lifeless corpse. The machine stopped shooting and a person jumped out of the helicopter onto the edge. That person wore a brown-dark jacket with a hood, a black cap, jeans and boots. His jacket was closed also the hood and cap made it quite imposable for one to see his face. His name was Beta and seemed to be a teenager. He slowly waked towards the door between the two corpses. Another person jumped onto the building. He too appeared to be a teenager, with red spiked hair and light gray eyes. He was wearing a black jacket, white T-shirt, gray jeans and also the same black boots as Beta. His name was Gamma. He holding a machine gun, like the soldiers, with his right hand and walked near to the corpse and bend himself near one to take some ammo pack, than he took the others one ammo pack too. Not too long another person jumped onto the building. This time it was a teenage girl with dark-blond hair, it was long and was bend together for a pony tail, and blue eyes. Something strange was her skin color. It was greenish. She wore a white T-shirt and black jeans. This was Alfa. She was holding a shotgun in her hands. It seems that she hasn’t many shells for the gun, because she didn’t wore any stripe that held ammo. Something to notice is a technologic bracelet on her right arm that can be seem because she wasn’t wearing jacket or long arm T-shirt.She walked towards the others. Beta delivered a powerful frontal kick to open the door. The kick made it smash open against the wall and they entered the staircase. It looked like no one used the staircase for a really long time. The white paint was dark in some parts. Also the wall had cracks. They ran down the staircase until they arrived in front of the first door. It was made of metal seemed to be a heavy fireproof door. Beta was in charge to open it, in the same brute way as before. There were two more soldiers on the other side of the door, each standing its side. As the door opened with the force of the kick, it slammed the soldier on right side. That knocked him out. The other one was already alarmed that someone broke in. But it was too late to do something. Beta already passed the door with a revolver in his left hand. Keeping his head lowered and facing the front, he didn’t even turn to the solider and immediately lifted his hand horizontally. Without thinking twice Beta shot right the soldier’s four head. The sound echoed through the hallway followed by the soldier’s fall. Blood leaks out of the corpse head, soon forming a blood puddle under the body. The teenage girl walked to the dead man and turned to Beta. She seemed tired of all this, this wasn’t the first “job” that they have done.
-When will this stop? What do we really get for all of this?- Asked Alfa in a kind of hate full voice.
Beta didn’t answer her. He just put the weapon back in the poked of the jacket and turned to the right.
- Lets go! The faster we do this, the faster we will get to leave this place- Said Gamma.
Gamma and Alfa ran to the left in the hallway. Beta went to the right. They already knew that the sound of the gun shot alarmed most of the people in the building, which would make the mission a lot more complicated.
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Comments: 20
Vekao [2011-06-22 00:22:29 +0000 UTC]
At first you have a really good English better than my english ^ ^ ""
And your story is really beautiful I do not know why you stopped of writing, but I hope that you continue
you talented dear ^ ^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Unreal-max In reply to Vekao [2011-06-22 13:04:31 +0000 UTC]
>.< My English is not that good.
The story is beautiful? Where o.o there is no romance. I wanted no make a fantasy story but based on how crul the human race can be, even when there is a risk for the whole race to vanish.
I'm glad that you think that i'm talented. It make me feel like I got a fan.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Vekao In reply to Unreal-max [2011-06-22 14:44:28 +0000 UTC]
I think you have good english, believe me ^^
Yes, I noticed there is no romantic, but romance is not everything
You have the good imagination
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Unreal-max In reply to Vekao [2011-06-22 14:56:36 +0000 UTC]
That's why you think it is beautiful ?
And thank you, I want to make a book. Not for the money, but for letting others enjoy it. However I don't want someone getting the credit for my work. I did get some ideas with filmes and games, but I did change it and a lot.Maybe that's why I stopped.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Vekao In reply to Unreal-max [2011-06-22 15:21:13 +0000 UTC]
I think that the story was beautiful because it is full of constant movement as the description of the characters and events I liked a lot.
This is great ..try to make a book from your imagination
began with little romance and fantasy I think you are capable to make a book and I really hope you don't give up
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
autumnxdbz [2011-01-17 10:32:03 +0000 UTC]
> Haha I want a machineguns! Good story by the way very descrpted ^-^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Unreal-max In reply to autumnxdbz [2011-01-17 14:28:16 +0000 UTC]
oh thank you very much
You got Da too *-* ill add you
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
halibabica [2009-08-14 22:39:50 +0000 UTC]
Hmm, interesting so far. You're English isn't all bad. It still gets the point across, but the phrasing is awkward in some places. Is this the beginning of the story you mentioned in that journal asking for OCs?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Unreal-max In reply to halibabica [2009-08-14 22:51:51 +0000 UTC]
nope, this is one of the three stories. The main Oc , Beta, is one of the strongest that I made.
Even stronger than my adroid OC, Tom Hunter...
But now no one can tell who is the hero or not
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Unreal-max In reply to laviathan66 [2009-08-13 01:00:56 +0000 UTC]
Well >.> i would like that you commentet more the story.
That you like it is good but "why"?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
laviathan66 In reply to Unreal-max [2009-08-13 01:34:05 +0000 UTC]
why? hm...the characters are VERY unique, and different, which is good, the detail is awesome and my cousin said she felt like she was there...because i was talking to her on the phone and i was like 'omg lemme read something to you' and when i finished she really liked it too ^^
im no good at critism ><
👍: 0 ⏩: 0