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urlilpixie — Eternity is Tomorrow
Published: 2005-01-18 21:51:08 +0000 UTC; Views: 210; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 7
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Description
Every promise has birthed a lie"It cannot be done", and then it was.
One world's sunset is another's sunrise
Nothing ever dies; merely reborn.
The same spirit lives on
Through another smile, laugh, embrace.
His shell abandoned, leaving you empty
Yet your love lives on.
Seek a new fountain of beauty and grace
Draw forth new smiles and memories.
Somewhere, someone awaits your love
Willing to tease out the knots of a broken heart.
Your plan still lives, the wait near-eternal
To keep yorself for the perfection.
Do not misperceive the intentions of a lie
But wait until perfection is truely promised.
No one ever has deserved perfection more
And been so slighted of their due pay.
It is coming for you, someday
Wait, and eternity will come.
And for today, and everyday
Steal the smile of the sated cat
Though you share the heart of the solitary feather
Blowing gently around the grin.
Confidence will win you everything
Effect that face, and hide your grimace
Until another's heart shares its arms
And, then, fall gloriously into love.
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Comments: 5
On seeing the title of this new piece from you in my deviantWATCH list I thought you were doing a humour James Bond piece - that title has exactly the tone of a James Bond film.
I'm disturbed by the oddest thing in this piece. Not a single line ends with a comma. It disturbs me because it throws me off the rhythm when reading the lines. I'd suggest not starting every line with a capital, as the punctuation will work well for the reading that way.
Topic-wise, there's nothing wrong here, the uplifting closure is a wonderful thing to see, and the slightly masked sense of laughter I get from the wording is good too.
On another odd note, it's ironic that I read the word misperceive as misconceive not once but twice.
Regards,
James
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
erm. according to a quiz I took, I'm the James Bond girl per video games...
I think I tried to avoid the commas. Because...the person who I wrote it for, though I don't think she ever read it, I...she hates Walt Whitman and loves Emily Dickinson. And...I don't know. Just...not having commas seemed to fit her better even if it wasn't as poetically appealing.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
