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urlilpixie — My Sun
Published: 2007-10-03 03:53:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 301; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 5
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Description
Anticipation.Flashing sisters fade.
The world, the beating heart,
Prepares, silences.
I know I will love you forever.
Rising in glory.
Piercing rays find the soul.
Triumphant march,
Burning across skin, eyes, sky.
This day will last forever.
A slip of shadow.
Distraction.
Glances to see the hidden world.
Wandering eyes, lust.
Turn back.
Turning back.
Gone.
Waiting for a new day.
Forever.
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Comments: 3
I like the other better for its simplicity, but the images in this are much stronger. You use "forever" twice in the beginning and middle, and I think I want it in the end too. I love the contrast between "I know I will love you forever" and "Wandering eyes, lust."
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Yeah, I know it should read
'Waiting.
Forever.'
But I don't feel like taking artistic license with this, and that would be.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0