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Description
Remus Lupin moved into the Weasley’s house and sat heavily on the couch. He stared down at his hands, trying to get the image of Sirius’ death out of his mind. It couldn’t have happened. It didn’t happen. Remus didn’t even look up as Molly walked in and slowly moved over.

“Remus?” Molly asked tentatively, “How-“

“Molly…please…” Remus put his head in his hands “I know you’re just trying to help…but…please…just leave me alone.”

Molly moved closer to him anyway, “Remus, do you-“

“I said leave me alone!” He snapped, sitting up straight and hitting the back of the couch. Molly flinched and moved closer anyway, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“There will be a meeting a few minutes; you don’t have to come if you don’t want…”

“I’ll be there” Remus said softly, and only looked at Molly as she started walking off. Remus leaned forward into his hands, not allowing any tears to fall.

Remus found himself sitting at the long table looking everyone. Everyone was there of course. Only one person was missing and it was the one that he wanted there the most. Molly had been kind enough to set a bottle of fire whiskey in front of him with a glass. Remus tried to focus on the conversation at hand but soon found him lost. He took a drink of the fire whiskey and welcomed the pain as it moved down his throat. He listened to Mad Eye talk about the next plan now that the ministry couldn’t hide the fact that Voldemort was back. He found himself losing focus again and everything around him turned black. Remus looked around, standing quickly. He looked down at his hands and noticed there were less scars, and seemed younger then it had been. Suddenly it began clearing up. He was in one of the corridors in Hogwarts. He turned and looked into a reflective window, judging himself to be about fifteen. He reached back and played with the little ponytail when he heard a familiar voice.

“Remus! Come on!”

Remus turned and saw James and realized something. He went over to him and looked at him. He looked into the mischievous eyes and looked at the messy black hair. James was always taller then he and he found himself looking up at him.

“James, are you sure this is a good idea?” He found himself saying without meaning to.

“Yes, I am quite sure. This is a light thing; we’re only breaking a few rules”

“But James, it’s a few of the big ones. We’re stealing from the library”

“To find a potion to help you my dear friend” James clapped Remus hard on the back, which made him laugh and he nodded, closing his eyes.

“Yeah I guess so, it’s not that-“ he looked back up, but James was gone, the scene had changed again. He looked around. He was in Moody’s house, a book under his left arm, and when he looked into the mirror he judged himself to be nineteen. He sighed and found himself walking again.

“Remus!” He heard and turned, seeing his friend Peter run up, looking worried. “Did you hear?”

“Hear what, Peter?” Remus asked, looking at his friend, concerned by the worried look.

“There were three werewolf attacks on muggles! They only caught one, and he claimed to be working for You-Know-Who”

“His name is Voldemort, Peter”

“I-I know…but…” He shook his head “Anyway, they’re going to gather all the registered werewolves and question them! They’re going to keep them in Azkaban!”

Remus sighed “I know…” he looked down slowly, and then turned to Peter. “Don’t worry yourself my friend” He then froze. Peter had changed. His hair was wispy and he was slightly hunched back, gnarled fingers twitching a little as he stood there. Peter seemed to be covered in thousands of scars, but in truth it was the word Traitor written all over his skin. Remus shook a little and looked away closing his eyes. “Go away” He whispered, and just like that, he felt the wind move over him and he opened his eyes. He was in a small field, staring into the woods. He knew where he was without questioning; this was the back yard of his house. A voice made him jump.

“So…your house is…nice…”

Remus turned to look at who was talking. Sirius black stood there with his long hair, wearing some borrowed clothes that were to big for Remus. Past him Buckbeak was digging a hole, looking for the multiple moles that lived under the earth. Remus didn’t have to figure out the year. It was two years ago, after Sirius had barely escaped with his life.

“You don’t have to lie” Remus said, looking up at his last friend.

“Ok, fine, the house is a piece of crap, but at least you have a nice yard”

Remus smiled softly and looked at the woods, making sure Sirius stayed in the corner of his eye, for fear he would disappear. “The ministry ordered that I live by a forest…”

“Why don’t you have our old house anymore?” Sirius had turned to look at him, gray eyes watching Remus’ every move.

Remus smiled “After you left I couldn’t afford it anymore. Weird how those things happen, huh?”

Sirius laughed, wrapping his arm around Remus. “Well…maybe when all of this is over, we can live together again”

Remus felt himself gnaw on his lip “Did you not already promise that to Harry?”

“I’m sure he won’t mind, you said he likes you right?”

Remus laughed and nodded “Yes…I guess so”

“Then it’s settled” Sirius said, smiling down to him.

Remus smiled and leaned on him. His eyes slowly closed “Sirius, I love…” He suddenly fell onto a stone floor and looked around. He was in a round, stone room. There were mirrors on every inch of the walls so a copy of himself was always staring at him. He did not recognize this place, had no memory of it. All he knew was he hated them, each and every individual one of them. He moved forward and brought his fist forward. He successfully shattered the mirror and tears started flowing down his face. Why did James have to die? He moved and punched another one. Why did Sirius have to die? Why did Peter have to betray them? Why was he all alone? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? He shattered every mirror until he got to the last one. Both his hands were bleeding, but only his left one really hurt, as if alcohol had been poured in it. He stared at himself in the last one. Slowly his mouth opened “Why did it have to be me who stayed alive? Why are you the last one? Why not James, or Lily, or Sirius!” He moved forward to the mirror and looked at himself “Why couldn’t you have died instead! Why did it have to be you! James and Lily have a son they should have lived! What makes you so lucky?” He screamed at the mirror “I hate you!” He moved to punch the mirror when he heard a voice again.

“Remus!” The scene became black and Remus groaned, waking himself and forcing himself to sit up and look around. He was still at the table, he must have fallen asleep. Whether by actually sleeping or passing out he had no idea. Only Molly and Dumbledore were in the room with him. The glass had shattered in his right hand, and the bottle had shattered in his left, spilling its contents onto his hand. He looked at the blood that trickled out and looked at the other guests. Molly had been the one to wake him up, and she was now next to him, helping his hands.

“Sorry…” Remus muttered softly looking at her. “I’ll pay for this…”

Molly shook her head “You’ll do no such thing” she said as she finished up “What did you dream about?”

Remus looked at her. He wanted to tell her, but she wouldn’t understand. No one would understand. He would hold onto this to his deathbed “I don’t remember” he lied to her.

“It must have been some dream…” Molly said looking at him. “Why don’t you go to sleep, Remus?”

Remus nodded slowly and stood up. He turned and walked out, when he felt a presence watching him. He turned and looked at Albus Dumbledore, whose eyes seemed to be penetrating him. Remus was about to ask what he was looking at when he spoke up first.

“They all love you, Remus” Then Dumbledore walked out to go talk with Molly. Remus stood there, confused. He then shook his head, and went up to bed.

Description
Remus Lupin moved into the Weasley’s house and sat heavily on the couch. He stared down at his hands, trying to get the image of Sirius’ death out of his mind. It couldn’t have happened. It didn’t happen. Remus didn’t even look up as Molly walked in and slowly moved over.

“Remus?” Molly asked tentatively, “How-“

“Molly…please…” Remus put his head in his hands “I know you’re just trying to help…but…please…just leave me alone.”

Molly moved closer to him anyway, “Remus, do you-“

“I said leave me alone!” He snapped, sitting up straight and hitting the back of the couch. Molly flinched and moved closer anyway, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“There will be a meeting a few minutes; you don’t have to come if you don’t want…”

“I’ll be there” Remus said softly, and only looked at Molly as she started walking off. Remus leaned forward into his hands, not allowing any tears to fall.

Remus found himself sitting at the long table looking everyone. Everyone was there of course. Only one person was missing and it was the one that he wanted there the most. Molly had been kind enough to set a bottle of fire whiskey in front of him with a glass. Remus tried to focus on the conversation at hand but soon found him lost. He took a drink of the fire whiskey and welcomed the pain as it moved down his throat. He listened to Mad Eye talk about the next plan now that the ministry couldn’t hide the fact that Voldemort was back. He found himself losing focus again and everything around him turned black. Remus looked around, standing quickly. He looked down at his hands and noticed there were less scars, and seemed younger then it had been. Suddenly it began clearing up. He was in one of the corridors in Hogwarts. He turned and looked into a reflective window, judging himself to be about fifteen. He reached back and played with the little ponytail when he heard a familiar voice.

“Remus! Come on!”

Remus turned and saw James and realized something. He went over to him and looked at him. He looked into the mischievous eyes and looked at the messy black hair. James was always taller then he and he found himself looking up at him.

“James, are you sure this is a good idea?” He found himself saying without meaning to.

“Yes, I am quite sure. This is a light thing; we’re only breaking a few rules”

“But James, it’s a few of the big ones. We’re stealing from the library”

“To find a potion to help you my dear friend” James clapped Remus hard on the back, which made him laugh and he nodded, closing his eyes.

“Yeah I guess so, it’s not that-“ he looked back up, but James was gone, the scene had changed again. He looked around. He was in Moody’s house, a book under his left arm, and when he looked into the mirror he judged himself to be nineteen. He sighed and found himself walking again.

“Remus!” He heard and turned, seeing his friend Peter run up, looking worried. “Did you hear?”

“Hear what, Peter?” Remus asked, looking at his friend, concerned by the worried look.

“There were three werewolf attacks on muggles! They only caught one, and he claimed to be working for You-Know-Who”

“His name is Voldemort, Peter”

“I-I know…but…” He shook his head “Anyway, they’re going to gather all the registered werewolves and question them! They’re going to keep them in Azkaban!”

Remus sighed “I know…” he looked down slowly, and then turned to Peter. “Don’t worry yourself my friend” He then froze. Peter had changed. His hair was wispy and he was slightly hunched back, gnarled fingers twitching a little as he stood there. Peter seemed to be covered in thousands of scars, but in truth it was the word Traitor written all over his skin. Remus shook a little and looked away closing his eyes. “Go away” He whispered, and just like that, he felt the wind move over him and he opened his eyes. He was in a small field, staring into the woods. He knew where he was without questioning; this was the back yard of his house. A voice made him jump.

“So…your house is…nice…”

Remus turned to look at who was talking. Sirius black stood there with his long hair, wearing some borrowed clothes that were to big for Remus. Past him Buckbeak was digging a hole, looking for the multiple moles that lived under the earth. Remus didn’t have to figure out the year. It was two years ago, after Sirius had barely escaped with his life.

“You don’t have to lie” Remus said, looking up at his last friend.

“Ok, fine, the house is a piece of crap, but at least you have a nice yard”

Remus smiled softly and looked at the woods, making sure Sirius stayed in the corner of his eye, for fear he would disappear. “The ministry ordered that I live by a forest…”

“Why don’t you have our old house anymore?” Sirius had turned to look at him, gray eyes watching Remus’ every move.

Remus smiled “After you left I couldn’t afford it anymore. Weird how those things happen, huh?”

Sirius laughed, wrapping his arm around Remus. “Well…maybe when all of this is over, we can live together again”

Remus felt himself gnaw on his lip “Did you not already promise that to Harry?”

“I’m sure he won’t mind, you said he likes you right?”

Remus laughed and nodded “Yes…I guess so”

“Then it’s settled” Sirius said, smiling down to him.

Remus smiled and leaned on him. His eyes slowly closed “Sirius, I love…” He suddenly fell onto a stone floor and looked around. He was in a round, stone room. There were mirrors on every inch of the walls so a copy of himself was always staring at him. He did not recognize this place, had no memory of it. All he knew was he hated them, each and every individual one of them. He moved forward and brought his fist forward. He successfully shattered the mirror and tears started flowing down his face. Why did James have to die? He moved and punched another one. Why did Sirius have to die? Why did Peter have to betray them? Why was he all alone? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? He shattered every mirror until he got to the last one. Both his hands were bleeding, but only his left one really hurt, as if alcohol had been poured in it. He stared at himself in the last one. Slowly his mouth opened “Why did it have to be me who stayed alive? Why are you the last one? Why not James, or Lily, or Sirius!” He moved forward to the mirror and looked at himself “Why couldn’t you have died instead! Why did it have to be you! James and Lily have a son they should have lived! What makes you so lucky?” He screamed at the mirror “I hate you!” He moved to punch the mirror when he heard a voice again.

“Remus!” The scene became black and Remus groaned, waking himself and forcing himself to sit up and look around. He was still at the table, he must have fallen asleep. Whether by actually sleeping or passing out he had no idea. Only Molly and Dumbledore were in the room with him. The glass had shattered in his right hand, and the bottle had shattered in his left, spilling its contents onto his hand. He looked at the blood that trickled out and looked at the other guests. Molly had been the one to wake him up, and she was now next to him, helping his hands.

“Sorry…” Remus muttered softly looking at her. “I’ll pay for this…”

Molly shook her head “You’ll do no such thing” she said as she finished up “What did you dream about?”

Remus looked at her. He wanted to tell her, but she wouldn’t understand. No one would understand. He would hold onto this to his deathbed “I don’t remember” he lied to her.

“It must have been some dream…” Molly said looking at him. “Why don’t you go to sleep, Remus?”

Remus nodded slowly and stood up. He turned and walked out, when he felt a presence watching him. He turned and looked at Albus Dumbledore, whose eyes seemed to be penetrating him. Remus was about to ask what he was looking at when he spoke up first.

“They all love you, Remus” Then Dumbledore walked out to go talk with Molly. Remus stood there, confused. He then shook his head, and went up to bed.