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Description
I have OCD, the "pure-O" type. Even on my meds, I get a lot -- A LOT -- of intrusive thoughts. It varies in disruptiveness from "ignorable white noise in the headspace" to "panic-attack-inducing hurricane sermon of DOOOOOM." I also have anxiety problems that crop up with no discernable trigger, and ADD which loves nothing more than to prevent me from doing or thinking anything through to completion.

I started attributing all these obstacles and interruptions to a part of my psyche I named "lizardbrain," because it did not operate using grown-up human rationality -- it acted and REacted using primordial instinct, manic aggression, and general malice towards everything.

Eventually I started personifying "Lizardbrain," imagining him as a distinct entity rather than just as an amalgamation of parts of my brain and its corrupted electronics and unregulated chemicals.

This is what he looks like. Now when my mental issues misbehave, I can scold and mock and scream at and blame and abuse this stupid fucking reptile dinosaur thing, without any of that negativity being directed at MYSELF. My-Self.

Lizardbrain is a safety mechanism as well as a dangerous, harmful, and hyperaware villain. I don't view myself as a victim of this being -- I view him as my prisoner.

Description
I have OCD, the "pure-O" type. Even on my meds, I get a lot -- A LOT -- of intrusive thoughts. It varies in disruptiveness from "ignorable white noise in the headspace" to "panic-attack-inducing hurricane sermon of DOOOOOM." I also have anxiety problems that crop up with no discernable trigger, and ADD which loves nothing more than to prevent me from doing or thinking anything through to completion.

I started attributing all these obstacles and interruptions to a part of my psyche I named "lizardbrain," because it did not operate using grown-up human rationality -- it acted and REacted using primordial instinct, manic aggression, and general malice towards everything.

Eventually I started personifying "Lizardbrain," imagining him as a distinct entity rather than just as an amalgamation of parts of my brain and its corrupted electronics and unregulated chemicals.

This is what he looks like. Now when my mental issues misbehave, I can scold and mock and scream at and blame and abuse this stupid fucking reptile dinosaur thing, without any of that negativity being directed at MYSELF. My-Self.

Lizardbrain is a safety mechanism as well as a dangerous, harmful, and hyperaware villain. I don't view myself as a victim of this being -- I view him as my prisoner.