HOME | DD

Vetch — To Live
Published: 2006-10-13 01:11:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 169; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
Redirect to original
Description She had already learned how terrible people can be.  She did not understand why she had to learn it again.
"Here we are my darling, nice fresh water for you..." She sang to the green and yellow striped plant.  It was special to her.  It was her life.
People had wondered why she was so attached to the plant.  They'd never understand, she told herself, they didn't even understand him.

She had loved him.  She was the only one who had.  There was no doubt in her heart or mind, she certainly did love him.  And they took him from her.
The rest of them just didn't understand.  He was different than the rest of them, but that was no reason for their hate.  She remembered the cold night when Tobias had been taken from her, his life taken brutally before her very eyes. The sharp blades had glinted in the moonlight and the blood shined black when they cut him open.  His pained expression, his hand limply reaching out for her, trying to hold on for her but unable to remain alive.
She had loved him.  No one had understood what he did, why he lived alone in that church, but she could get it.  His parents had kept it, and he felt that it was his duty to continue it after they were gone.
He had thought she was dead when he had fought those terrible people.  She had regained consciousness just in time to see him slaughtered and laid out before her like some dying animal.  With her love deceased and Tobias dead, she had gone off to another town, another life.  That night was five years gone, and she still felt the pain.

No one knew her in this town, no one even blinked at her strangely.  The small amount of elven ancestry she had didn't even make these people look twice.  They were all so varied, it didn't even register to them.  That worked for her.
Yet somehow they had noticed her unnatural love for this simple plant.  It had flourished in the time she'd been here, and it showed no signs of slowing.  It was the only thing that she brought with her when she arrived.

She got it after she cried over him.  It had been a hard trip up to that rocky path, what he called a beach.  She hadn't understood at first how a big pile of rocks could be a beach, but she knew it well by the time they had decided to run.  If only they had run but a day sooner.  It was his beach, it was his solitude.  His escape.  The ocean was the world, and this was the only land he could stand on.
She buried him there because of his adoration for the place, and when she finished mourning she saw it.  The plant had been growing, he'd been tending it.  She remembered planting it with him, remembered the promise that it would grow to be a great thing of beauty.  She remembered how he cared for it, how she could see how much he loved so simple of a thing.  How could any boy so young look so old, so tired, and yet so full of loving and care?
It had grown.  It had sprouted out of the ground and was reaching its hand up to the sky in search for the sun.  That bright star it would never be able to reach.  She took it, all of its roots and the dirt that they were swimming in, and took it with her as she ran towards the sun that had already set.

Five years.  It had been five years, and yet she remembered it all so clearly.  The plant had flourished, just as he said, and she gave it the love that she could no longer give him.  To her, it was all she had left of him, and it was so very precious to her.

She had already learned how terrible people can be.  She did not understand why she had to learn it again.

The people didn't like how much she adored the plant.  It started with simple taunts and jeers, but then they went further.  One morning she woke up to find that someone had uprooted the entire plant.  Through hard work and tears, she had saved it.  She saved him.
They didn't stop.  She caught several of them trying to get into her yard and hurt the plant.  It got to the point where she built up a fence and topped it off with sharp wire to keep them out.
Why couldn't it last?
They wouldn't give up.  They cut the wires, they broke the fence and got in.  So many times, she had to try so hard to save the plant.  It got so bad that she transferred it into her home, using the largest pot she could find for it.
It didn't stop.

It was on the sixth year to the day from the one that she had left his body in the ground that it happened.
The whole town.  The whole entire town was there.
She couldn't even comprehend that.  She's never seen so many people together at once.  They all surrounded her house, they wouldn't give up until they had the plant.  Two held her down as she watched them rip the plant out of the soil, tear it to shreds in front of her eyes.  They left it at her feet to be soaked by her tears, beyond any saving that she could give.

In only a day or two the house suddenly became unoccupied.  Completely furnished, it all remained the same as it had been that night they destroyed him again.
Even the remains of the plant were left on the floor.  The front of the house had a message on it, spray painted in bright red for the whole town to read.
"IT IS YOURS. I GIVE UP."
The front door was left hanging open, and no one saw her leave.  The house was investigated, and there was nothing found missing, damaged, undone.  All the bills had been paid, the house deed was sitting on the kitchen table.  The only thing that was gone from the entire house was labeled "negligible" by the investigators.
One small thing was missing.  Out of the plant, there was one part that was carefully removed, with a message on the floor to accompany it.
"YOU WILL NOT TAKE HIM FROM ME"
There was just enough of the plant gone to start anew.  To grow again.

To live.
Related content
Comments: 20

Bekalou [2006-10-23 23:49:08 +0000 UTC]

Very emotional; your writing style reflects the mood effectively. I think in some areas you could use a "show, don't tell" approach - in the first paragraph, you say the plant "was special to her." Your following paragraphs explain that, so you don't need to say it, but you could describe her tender care of the plant, and that will convey to the reader that it must be special.
All in all, though, very nice. The fact that the female character has no name does a nice job in focusing the reader's attention on her feelings.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Vetch In reply to Bekalou [2006-10-24 00:51:47 +0000 UTC]

Thank you muchly. I'm glad you like it, it was written kind of on a whim and very quickly. I'm working on the "show, don't tell" thing... it's a bit hard, as I don't think enough about my writing. Working on it, though.
Thank you. The lack of a name was mostly purposeful, though I'm not sure what her name is, as of yet. We'll see. Glad it works, though.
Thanks again.

~Vetch

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

unusual-angel [2006-10-18 15:08:26 +0000 UTC]

Vetch, that really is good!! I loved it, and didn't really find any problems with it.

The story conveys so much emotion, and it really is good.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Vetch In reply to unusual-angel [2006-10-18 19:02:03 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. Glad it's good.
That's the point. Glad it worked out.
Thanks.

~Vetch

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

unusual-angel In reply to Vetch [2006-10-18 19:17:30 +0000 UTC]

welcome!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Refkins [2006-10-13 22:50:44 +0000 UTC]

Sweeeeet.
Okies, I shall write intelligent constructive-crit type comment when I have the chance and don't have a cement block for a head. *chortle*
But, that's pretty awesome.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Vetch In reply to Refkins [2006-10-14 03:27:34 +0000 UTC]

Glad you like it. I'll wait for the intelligent part. I know the feeling.

~Vetch

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Archerbabe6 [2006-10-13 22:02:18 +0000 UTC]

i'm confused, in a good way...it makes shivers go down your back, and i don't know why...very emotional, and it makes u think about life and what really matters.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Vetch In reply to Archerbabe6 [2006-10-14 03:28:13 +0000 UTC]

Cool. Glad it can do that kind of stuff, the point is to impact. That's my point in writing, at least. To convey some kind of emotion.

~Vetch

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

NightmareCrow [2006-10-13 19:49:15 +0000 UTC]

You kick ass, Vetch. This has more emotion in it than mine- I don't know what you're talking about when you think I'm a better writer, because this is amazing. Amazing. The repetition of some of the phrases hits hard, and emphasizes the persistence of the girl and the townspeople both. And the themes of new life, human jealousy, persistence... make it so easy to sympathize with her so quickly.
Amazing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Vetch In reply to NightmareCrow [2006-10-14 03:29:52 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I still think you're better; I felt so much more from yours than from mine.
The repetition was quite purposeful, yes. I wrote it much like my own thoughts, and that helped alot.
I'm glad it is so powerful when it comes to emotion. That's what I want.

~Vetch

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

NightmareCrow In reply to Vetch [2006-10-14 03:34:55 +0000 UTC]

Very powerful emotion, yes.
Peh. I think we're going to have to settle for neither of us being better, because I felt more from yours. *chortle*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Vetch In reply to NightmareCrow [2006-10-14 03:36:34 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad.
Heh, perhaps. 'tis quite an abstract argument, as it's hard to prove either side.

~Vetch

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

xxIceWiccanxx [2006-10-13 02:05:13 +0000 UTC]

Very detailed and emotive. Well done.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Vetch In reply to xxIceWiccanxx [2006-10-13 03:02:01 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I'd like the formatting to be correct, but I can't fix that until DeviantART works correctly again.

~Vetch

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

xxIceWiccanxx In reply to Vetch [2006-10-14 00:54:54 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, they really gotta work out the bugs.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Vetch In reply to xxIceWiccanxx [2006-10-14 03:24:47 +0000 UTC]

I agree. I was a bit confused: It works perfectly on my school's computers, for some reason. Whatever. Maybe it'll be fixed soon>

~Vetch

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

xxIceWiccanxx In reply to Vetch [2006-10-15 01:16:45 +0000 UTC]

Well, you're school computers are lucky at least.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Vetch In reply to xxIceWiccanxx [2006-10-15 01:21:32 +0000 UTC]

Yeah. I think it might be the version of internet explorer. I just upgraded to 6 (rather than 5) and it works nicely. There's an even newer version, but it will only work for windows XP (I have 2000.) Try that, maybe it'll help. It's free.

~Vetch

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

xxIceWiccanxx In reply to Vetch [2006-10-15 01:36:04 +0000 UTC]

Maybe.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0