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My scars are now healing.
Open wounds are mending.
But everthing on the inside still throbs with pain.
Its not the outside Im worried about.
Its where the sun cannot touch.
Where the rain cannot put out the fire.
It burns inside of me, and I am reminded every day.
Every day I must think of who I used to be.
And I think about what I have become.
So much have I changed, but at the same time, I am still me.
I want those intoxicating chemicals.
I want to feel free once again!
I must think twice about every action.
I never again want to be held captive by my own wants and needs.
I no longer want to be dependant.
There have been times of weakness, I must admit.
Those evil demons grasp me by the lungs and take my breath away.
I know how to fight them, but sometimes, I dont want to.
Having an addictive personality is my only flaw.
Trying to do the right thing isnt always on my side.
I know what steps I need to take.
I have learned to move up.
I am a fighter, no a quitter.
And I will fight for my life harder than those demons who want to take it.
There is a rising stregnth inside of me.
But the fire will never go out.
It will always be burning inside of me.
The only difference is that its not burning uncontrolable.
I can keep it detained where it needs to be.