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Description
DISCLAIMER: This is a cartoon screenshot I drew over for the purpose of parody. I claim no ownership over the original image.
Original tweet February 20th 2024: x.com/woot_art/status/17600194…

DAPHNE: Whoops.
VELMA: Haha, yeah- sorry Scooby. Clipped ya there, didn't I?
SCOOBY-DOO: *whimpering*
DAPHNE: Clumsy girl- you've been bumping into everything. That gut's gotten to be a real wrecking ball.
VELMA: I've been putting on weight so quickly that I haven't been able to adjust to my extra volume. It's super easy to brush against stuff and get wedged between objects if I'm not paying enough attention to my surroundings. I guess I need to consider even generous environments like this cave to be tight spaces now.
DAPHNE: And it's only going to get worse if you don't stick to the organic diet I outlined for you. I know you're cheating 'cuz I found a tumbleweed's worth of Choco Bar wrappers crammed into your suitcase. I have no idea where you've been getting them, but when I learn how I'm cracking down hard.
VELMA: Ohmygod you found those. When I was normal-sized I thought that fatties just needed willpower, but the bigger I get, the more impossible it becomes to resist temptations. Whenever I'm alone all I want to do is stuff my face full of empty calories. You'd imagine the thought of being discovered mid-binge would dissuade me, but that's like the sizzling spice on top of everything. The guilt and shame makes food physically taste better. And since everything tastes so amazing, it just reinforces the loop until I have this blubbery bumper car for a body.
DAPHNE: All that extra insulation. You're so fat you can't even keep your sweater on underground without overheating, forcing everyone to stare at acres of bare flab, jiggling with each labored step.
VELMA: I put on a brave face, but my feet and legs are sore. I just wanna sit and stop and rest and bolt down candy ostensibly to "keep up my energy," but really because I never want to stop eating and getting fatter. So fat that everyone stops expecting me to come along on these investigations and I can just hang back in the Mystery Machine and snack and sip soda and help you solve things remotely. And on the video call you can hear and see me chewing nonstop and I can tell your eyes aren't meeting mine. You're staring at the way my multiple chins waggle as my jaw moves. There's amazement in your fascination, and I finally see the suppressed lust. To test my theory I let out a casual burp and you swiftly hang up to prevent me from seeing your face go bright red.
DAPHNE: I'm just left there, shaking, phone in a white-knuckled grasp, knowing you finally found me out, and I'm terrified because I have no idea where this leaves us.
VELMA: Ohmygosh!
PROFESSOR SVANKMAJER: Are they like this all the time?
SCOOBY-DOO: Rore rand rore...

Description
DISCLAIMER: This is a cartoon screenshot I drew over for the purpose of parody. I claim no ownership over the original image.
Original tweet February 20th 2024: x.com/woot_art/status/17600194…

DAPHNE: Whoops.
VELMA: Haha, yeah- sorry Scooby. Clipped ya there, didn't I?
SCOOBY-DOO: *whimpering*
DAPHNE: Clumsy girl- you've been bumping into everything. That gut's gotten to be a real wrecking ball.
VELMA: I've been putting on weight so quickly that I haven't been able to adjust to my extra volume. It's super easy to brush against stuff and get wedged between objects if I'm not paying enough attention to my surroundings. I guess I need to consider even generous environments like this cave to be tight spaces now.
DAPHNE: And it's only going to get worse if you don't stick to the organic diet I outlined for you. I know you're cheating 'cuz I found a tumbleweed's worth of Choco Bar wrappers crammed into your suitcase. I have no idea where you've been getting them, but when I learn how I'm cracking down hard.
VELMA: Ohmygod you found those. When I was normal-sized I thought that fatties just needed willpower, but the bigger I get, the more impossible it becomes to resist temptations. Whenever I'm alone all I want to do is stuff my face full of empty calories. You'd imagine the thought of being discovered mid-binge would dissuade me, but that's like the sizzling spice on top of everything. The guilt and shame makes food physically taste better. And since everything tastes so amazing, it just reinforces the loop until I have this blubbery bumper car for a body.
DAPHNE: All that extra insulation. You're so fat you can't even keep your sweater on underground without overheating, forcing everyone to stare at acres of bare flab, jiggling with each labored step.
VELMA: I put on a brave face, but my feet and legs are sore. I just wanna sit and stop and rest and bolt down candy ostensibly to "keep up my energy," but really because I never want to stop eating and getting fatter. So fat that everyone stops expecting me to come along on these investigations and I can just hang back in the Mystery Machine and snack and sip soda and help you solve things remotely. And on the video call you can hear and see me chewing nonstop and I can tell your eyes aren't meeting mine. You're staring at the way my multiple chins waggle as my jaw moves. There's amazement in your fascination, and I finally see the suppressed lust. To test my theory I let out a casual burp and you swiftly hang up to prevent me from seeing your face go bright red.
DAPHNE: I'm just left there, shaking, phone in a white-knuckled grasp, knowing you finally found me out, and I'm terrified because I have no idea where this leaves us.
VELMA: Ohmygosh!
PROFESSOR SVANKMAJER: Are they like this all the time?
SCOOBY-DOO: Rore rand rore...