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Wazaga — AatR: Round 1 - Part 2
Published: 2009-07-25 00:12:17 +0000 UTC; Views: 2313; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 1
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can't talk right now... I got work in 4 hours, and no sleep... later!
EDIT:
things I wanted to pull in this strip:
1 - battle action and pacing of events. I never drew a battle scene before. this would be my very first one.
2 - different angles on characters and body anatomy. I think I did pretty good knowing I didn't use any references other then watching my brothers walk around the house.
3 - expressions (namely the "dur" one because I would never normally stretch the facial features that out of whack... but it worked!)
Done fore the Artist At The Ready tournament
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Comments: 69
NICE job with the fight scene! The moves are really wel executed, and I love how you portrayed Draco's opponet somersaulting to his feet. You've got a great handle on motion in your artwork!
Pffff XD "Did you have to hit him that hard?" "He was that annoying."
I have to keep reminding myself that characters are just unsummoned when they 'die'. 'Cause agh, death.
Excellent job on your Round 1, Wazaga! ^^ Very enjoyable read. On to Round 2!
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Holy crow your lineart is amazing!
And what a great entry!
Phitus is tough, but I think you did really well~
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I can't believe I missed this. Epic work, my dear. Draco really kicked some crazy-ass butt!
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I have certain issues with the pacing of the action...and how it was executed, but I'm not formulating what I'm not digging with it quite well. The best I can say is that the action seems a little...well static, so I don't feel like there's motion going from one panel to the other. Take this as you will. =/
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I think it's part lack of motion line and the the bit about me breaking the 180 rule. plus, this is my first serious action sequence, so even though I gave it my all, it's still in the nursing stage. I'll work on that in future pages and stuff.
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Yeah, that could be it. To be honest, I was uncomfortable critiquing this since it was just a feeling that there was something off, if you know what I mean?
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Too clean. PhiTuS would go down swearing like a sailor. And probably saying you cheated.
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his swearing is not my style. I can't make myself do it no matter how much I wanted to keep in character for him... my brain would pop from the guilt.
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youre right. what was i thinking. the writing and how frank was the only one to do anything was extremely unrealistic, considering the characters involved. and you went crazy bro.... nevertheless.... i like it.
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Everyone was off character.
Everyone.
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Way to finesse the advance!!! Congratulations! Like Cheeko, may you also be showered in inspiration and energy for Round 2! You go, Waz!
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thank you. I need all the luck I can get for this round. and Cheeko too.
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nonsense. I totally blundered through the whole thing
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I was so close to joining this tournament, and I'm now completely regretting not doing so. This looks like so much fun.
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oh, what a shame you didn't! I bet you would have made it!
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Just to be picky, Phox's lighting the gun on fire could have been really devastating. Gunpowder, yaknow?
...I scared the crap out of my RP group one time with that. We were attacked by a gnomish battle tank, and as it turned out, my character had never encountered any such thing before. So I decided his course of action was to attack it back the way he knew best - fire magic~ It was great fun to watch everyone hold their breath whilst the GM rolled a saving throw for every last bullet. Not that I wouldn't have been blown away too...
...come to think of it, the same thing happened later on when I played a gnome and I encountered a fire elemental. After a long discussion, it was ruled that my ammo pouch was open, since I was shooting things, and it therefore didn't matter that my 2000 bullets were in inter-dimensional space. The GM ruled that if one bullet failed its saving throw all the others would have to roll a nat 20 to avoid being set off in a chain reaction. Per bullet. In the end, we decided that we managed to save the world from the evil wizard anyway because the explosion knocked out three floors of his tower, causing the rest to collapse. We just happened to not survive and my robot companion was put in orbit.
Anyway. Back to the topic of this ossim piece of comickry. Phitus is dead on about the 180-rule. You wouldn't confuse the characters for each other, but you can't "follow" the action. You start to build up momentum in "Because I...am not...", but then you've lost it in "an elf!" because you switched directions. Same thing with the throw early on, although I do appreciate the rotating nature of the follow-through. (Although said points are negated by Draco willingly sticking his sword in the ground. 
Also, I'm a known dissenter against action lines, but I think this would have seriously benefited from more of them. In panel...20? you can clearly see the trajectory of the sword, but in other panels the lines are just too small.
Not that I expect you to do anything over. Just, like you said, learning experience~
I think over all this is a very strong entry. It's too bad you don't have the time to add in more contrast to help the images stand out more (or color, that'd work too).
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wow, I wanna play an RPG with you guys! it sounds like awesome fun.
yeah, I never knew about the 180 rule before now. for me, it was a conflict between instinct and fear when paneling things out in thumbnail form.
my instinct WAS to have them on there rightful sides and then switch their places after the throw only.
my fear was that doing so would make the sequence boring....
once again, it turns out that my instincts were correct, and my fear messed me up. I have got to learn to ignore myself on that matter.
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I have to admit, this is more intense than i thought it would be
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Great work Waz, your hard work paid off. *_*
the 'dur' facial expression. priceless.
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haha <3
And, I must salute you on your good sportsmanship with Phitus' entry. It's quite refreshing to witness. x)
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thank you. I'm looking forward to yours and Rock.
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Right, so I get knocked retarded and Frank gets stabbed in the neck. Awesome.
Oh, uh...here's something that should actually be helpful for future comics (Instead of simply complaining at you. Hopefully I won't get shit from your friends about this.)
The 180 Rule: [link]
Draco and Frank seem to switch sides while fighting, creating visual confusion and disorientation. The solution would be to simply have them stay on their side of the screen the entire time. Whether it's an action sequence or just dialogue, this rule should apply.
I'm not sure if many people know about this, but it really helps if you do know.
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Haha, I knew you'd bring this up!
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EVEN THOUGH IT IS A PRETTY BASIC CONCEPT I WILL RAPE IT INTO MY BRAIN UNTIL I SEE IT WHENEVER I CLOSE MY EYES
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Haha, I think that it was the way you presented yourself that riled people up, too. I read your entries and the comments following (although I never responded since I don't like to respond when I've nothing really great to say) and yeah, I'll be honest I thought...yeah, you're kind of presenting yourself as a dick (the following comments rather than the entries themselves, which were just sort of shocking. You did the shock factor pretty well, I might add, and the pacing for that type of comic was spot on). But I saw that it was more like part of the show, I guess? To put it awkwardly.
I appreciate honesty since I'm a pretty blunt and honest person, but there are ways to be honest and not so...seemingly antagonistic? I understood that you were being blunt so it wasn't a big deal to me (so I'm one of Wazzy's friends that didn't jump on your ass when you opened your mouth), despite making me blink once before figuring it out. I know, for me, I'm glad that I wasn't seeing this in person because it would be a lot harder to see behind the swearing and the swagger. XD The barrier behind text is sometimes a good one.
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Err...I'm really not trying to be a dick...
To *Wazaga , I'm being helpful, which is all I'm trying to do. You can ask her yourself.
You oughta see me in real life then. I talk even less and I'm socially awkward. Also, you can tell in my ref sheet that I'm a really small, thin guy.
The internet kinda frees some of those social limitations...which can end up making me sound like a douche...
So, I really apologize for coming off as a dick. Apparently, I have horrible social skills.
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Oh I think you were helpful, it's just that there's a way to present it and if I didn't have the time to think about it, I would have probably responded like the other people. But since I did (thanks to the fact that it was text), I realised what you were trying to do. XD
I don't think you're a dick or trying to be one, though...it just took some time to realise that it was your style as opposed to who you are. Which I think other people weren't able to figure out.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Communication is about trying to see where the boundaries are and adjusting accordingly.
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at least you weren't shot in the leg. lol.
hmmm, this is really useful. thanks for the link and info. I appreciate it.
and even though my friends might have misunderstood you at the time. I just want you to know that there are absolutely no hard feelings on my part. I understand what it is to be passionate about an original character and their props. and even though you had a rather blunt manner in showing it, I still got it and tried to apply it as a learning experience. I want to thank you for all your input on everything you "complained" about. and know that I will incorporate what I learned thanks to you.
good luck onto the next round. you're weird I'll admit, but still cool in your own way.
take care,
Wazzy
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I dunno. Getting hit in the back of the head is potentially fatal. Then again, you have really severe gaping wounds in your leg. So I guess I get brain damage and you get blood loss. AND SO MUCH PAIN IN YOUR LEG.
Man, I wish your friends were as accepting as you are. I guess they take everything I say really really really personally. WHY ARE YOU SO COOL ABOUT EVERYTHING DAMN IT.
Weird? Yeah, I get that a lot. (NATURALLY) Also, cool. I get that a lot too. Not bragging either, it makes me feel weird thinking about it.
Anyway, you take care as well,
PHITUS
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Certainly you can see what might be upsetting about the idea of someone pulling up in a car and blowing the shit out of someone you know with automatics? No?
I personally didn't mind so much because I figured that was exactly what you were going to do.
In fact, if I'd faced you in the Real, that's what I would have drawn you doing.
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