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Description
This description will not be about this OC and my view on Xurkitree, but my reflections and emotional state, so read only if you're curious and patient enough
to get something to think over (or if you're bored...).

If not, then don't care. Like me at times once I started my job. Some pure souls trapped in human body (a.k.a my close friends) tell me it could be better
to quit the job, but then what? Our society/World is contruscted in a way we have to gather moeny for the goverment and suffer from hierarchy to survive both literally and mentally.

I have no better choice and I know it after trying for 3 years. Dream job? Pretty much Patreon activity mixed with Deviantart could be,
but then reality strikes like a meteor. Money or worries and anxiety.

Yeah, thanks....I prefer that job since I know I'm no competition to many artists or creative people who made their Patreon/youtube accounts and who can do comission like an artist should
not like me, who always hits from the inside "I'm most likely not good enough and it will ruin my good image...".
Plus, I need life to kick my butt hard enough to get what it is to work hard instead of passionately. Nevermind...I'm venting here while being tipsy
and I admitt, such moment of losing desperate morbid perfectionist control are sometimes a bless I can only access to alcohol, luckily alcohol is expensive, so....I don't drink too often.

Being young sucks, even if older people tell me "you got so much life to live through, honey...' I get what they mean, but then, being impatient and lacking experience sucks hard.
I was raised to become dependent on others opinion and guidance, so creating own life path as an artist who wants to leave something meaningful behind is curse
in the World where I'm surrounded by non-intellectual people who are 99,9% time extraverts (not introverts like me).

Procrastination and apathy got me again and I know it will not end soon thanks to my job, which actually is nice, but "only" steals a hell lot of my time and energy, so...
I naively believe I'll end this reference sheet till the wekk is over to come back to delayed two comissions, but for real? my mood and reality will probably kill my hopes again.

I give up, also on trying to submitt only quality work here and make small steps shared on Patreon as an extra. This plan isn't working, so let's give up also
on my perfectionism, since I already lost a part of myself...

just one more thing: I sometimes see Weirda Mirrart and Einstein having some philosphical conversation,but not on too deep level...but with DAT MEANING OF LIFE
WHEN YOU KNOW/REALIZE A BIT TOO MUCH AND GOT NIHILISM AT HEART.

For real, don't get upset over this text. Why? Because it won't change my life and I'm just feeling lost and only I can know how to fix it.
Just enjoy I shared something I would never because of my perfectionism.
__________________
Xurkitree belongs to Pokemon, Game Freak
Einstein the Xurkitree OC and Weirda Mirrart (sketched here for the scale and mentioned) belong to me, Marta Kłeczek

Description
This description will not be about this OC and my view on Xurkitree, but my reflections and emotional state, so read only if you're curious and patient enough
to get something to think over (or if you're bored...).

If not, then don't care. Like me at times once I started my job. Some pure souls trapped in human body (a.k.a my close friends) tell me it could be better
to quit the job, but then what? Our society/World is contruscted in a way we have to gather moeny for the goverment and suffer from hierarchy to survive both literally and mentally.

I have no better choice and I know it after trying for 3 years. Dream job? Pretty much Patreon activity mixed with Deviantart could be,
but then reality strikes like a meteor. Money or worries and anxiety.

Yeah, thanks....I prefer that job since I know I'm no competition to many artists or creative people who made their Patreon/youtube accounts and who can do comission like an artist should
not like me, who always hits from the inside "I'm most likely not good enough and it will ruin my good image...".
Plus, I need life to kick my butt hard enough to get what it is to work hard instead of passionately. Nevermind...I'm venting here while being tipsy
and I admitt, such moment of losing desperate morbid perfectionist control are sometimes a bless I can only access to alcohol, luckily alcohol is expensive, so....I don't drink too often.

Being young sucks, even if older people tell me "you got so much life to live through, honey...' I get what they mean, but then, being impatient and lacking experience sucks hard.
I was raised to become dependent on others opinion and guidance, so creating own life path as an artist who wants to leave something meaningful behind is curse
in the World where I'm surrounded by non-intellectual people who are 99,9% time extraverts (not introverts like me).

Procrastination and apathy got me again and I know it will not end soon thanks to my job, which actually is nice, but "only" steals a hell lot of my time and energy, so...
I naively believe I'll end this reference sheet till the wekk is over to come back to delayed two comissions, but for real? my mood and reality will probably kill my hopes again.

I give up, also on trying to submitt only quality work here and make small steps shared on Patreon as an extra. This plan isn't working, so let's give up also
on my perfectionism, since I already lost a part of myself...

just one more thing: I sometimes see Weirda Mirrart and Einstein having some philosphical conversation,but not on too deep level...but with DAT MEANING OF LIFE
WHEN YOU KNOW/REALIZE A BIT TOO MUCH AND GOT NIHILISM AT HEART.

For real, don't get upset over this text. Why? Because it won't change my life and I'm just feeling lost and only I can know how to fix it.
Just enjoy I shared something I would never because of my perfectionism.
__________________
Xurkitree belongs to Pokemon, Game Freak
Einstein the Xurkitree OC and Weirda Mirrart (sketched here for the scale and mentioned) belong to me, Marta Kłeczek