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White-Feather — Chapter Five: A Guide
Published: 2007-06-25 05:02:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 1109; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 9
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Mari moved through the symphony of nature along the cobblestone path away from Forin. She held the lantern aloft like a bobbing wilo-the-wisp. The only sounds that came from her were the soft swish of her skirt, her quick breath, and the quiet tread of her shoes. She’d always possessed a light step. Jon taught her to perfect it to near silence by stepping with the side of her feet and then rolling them inward. It was useful for slipping around when she wanted to avoid attention as a kid, such as when she wasn't where allowed. And she’d kept up with that talent though she didn’t use it to sneak around anymore. If anyone came after her, she reasoned, she would be able to hear them and hide. In the meantime, she let her awareness swim in the sensations of the surrounding forest.
Crickets chirped in the dark gloom of the Pin forest as toads and frogs trilled along the roadside. Squirrels rustled in their dreys, rousing themselves as mice scurried across the carpet of leaf litter. Moths flittered about her head like ghosts as they searched for a suitable resting place. Buzzes and tiny skittering sounds hinted more insects cavorting out of sight. Early rising birds took the opportunity to snatch them out of the air. The bats in turn were returning from their shift to whatever secret roosts they lurked in during the day. Occasional small erratic shadows under the eaves hinted at those places. Spider webs glittered with dew in odd corners between trees and boughs. Above her passing, an owl swooped to land and uttered an eldritch shriek. An unseen mate deeper in the forest replied. Other wild sounds arose now and again farther away. And in the mountains a wolf’s mournful howling punctuated the music of the spring dawn.
Mari smiled at the sound. When she’d been younger, she and her brother used to sneak out and call back to see if the wolves would answer. More often than not it made their father howl for them to come home and go to bed. After Jon left, she’d followed her father’s advice to not go wandering the dark, no matter what she heard or saw outside. Even so, the shadows of the woods at night never ceased to lure her attention the way it did now.
The trees were a mixture of evergreens and deciduous. Dark pines, cedars, holly, yew, and hemlocks cast black pools of shadows onto the underbrush. It clashed with the sweet perfumes of oaks, apples, ash, elder, hawthorn, rowan, and other gentle sheltering trees. Petrichor filled the air as ivy and moss crept along the boughs, tree trunks, and the ground. Even the rocks were draped. Boulders covered in moss and earth squatted among the trees, even supporting a few. Fungi feasted upon rotting wood and the mulchy leaves, while snails made slimy trails. The Pin forest's reputation in Forin was that was a dangerous place where anything that could lurk did. Where every shadow held peril for the unwary.

Despite the warnings, Mari didn’t fear the forest. She had spent her childhood running around with her brother as they explored the corners of it near home. To her, it was a beautiful garden to play in during the day, and a place of strange magic and mystery in the twilight. A sanctum where green was its own rainbow as softened sunlight penetrated shadows and made the leaves glow. Where she could run freer than anywhere else with such joy she thought her feet would leave the earth.

As long as they never ventured into or lingered in the forbidden and darkest of places, they were safe. There were plenty of such danger spots. Caves, abandoned mines, under the deep hollows of dead trees. Sometimes they came upon dugout trenches containing yellowed ribcages and bits of rusted metal. The remains of Gaena’s unhappy past she supposed as she remembered Jhed’s remarks about the old civil war. And wild animals were rarely any threat in her experience. As long as they were natural creatures in their right minds, most predators were wary of people. Even if it was only a lone woman armed with nothing but a knife.

Of course, there are always faeries, but they haven’t been seen near Forin for years…
She sat down on a fallen tree by the side of the road. One of those that broke over as if it had keeled at the knees and paused to catch her breath. She judged she’d gone about four and a half miles so far. Another mile and she would be beyond Forin’s official border. Then the only law that could catch and hold her accountable would be Empire law, not local force.
Mari wondered if that would or wouldn't be a good thing as she stretched out her leg and massaged her ankle. She knew what sort of punishment the Baron Crisso meted out at home. Fines or put in the stocks for a day as humiliation were the typical penalty, and the occasional lashing. She’d never yet earned a lashing, but she’d been in the stocks once when she was younger, it was survivable. Sure, it had been embarrassing to stand there all day while people stared and jeered. But nobody threw refuse or attempted worse. Everyone knew everyone in the village. And there was no hiding from retribution when folk were set loose again. So no one dared anything more harmful than ugly words. Forin's justice system, degrading and unfair as it was, worked.
But she wasn’t quite sure what the Empire itself did to wrongdoers. Other than execution for the worst crimes. While she heard the big stories, she didn’t eavesdrop on all the hushed talk of tradesmen and messengers. Though she now wondered if she should have listened in more. There wasn’t even a scaffold in Forin; she only knew what one looked like from a drawing she’d once seen. It hadn’t looked very pleasant.
Either way, I hope I don’t get caught at all.
The dampness of the morning chilled her face and made her breath visible in the dim light. She felt a slight flush of warmth to her cheeks from both the temperature and her own physical efforts. The moisture also made her hair frizz, annoying her. She could feel cloth catching on little snagging strands and making her scalp itch. She pulled her cloak’s hood closer around her face and neck and sniffed. She smelled the promise of rain coming, a thunderstorm. Looking up, thick grey-blue clouds gathered above the trees. A rumble from them confirmed Mari’s suspicions. As she looked further up, the owl in the tree above glanced down at her. It blinked its dark eyes once, and then floated away into the green and grey-black shadows of the woods. Its silver-white underside completing the ghostly effect as she watched it vanish.


She stood and began walking again, as she wondered how far it would be to the next village or town. And how long she had before she would be soaked. Spring was always so wet and stormy. Just as summer was always muggy, fall was dry and windy, and winter was constant blizzards. She wondered whether the weather was attempting to upset her on purpose.

I wish I was back by the dry warm hearth at home. Wrapped up in my blanket with a cup of hot tea and a corner of fresh rosemary bread. Nothing to do but amuse myself with more pleasant thoughts while rain happens outside…What do I think I’m doing? I must be mad! Running off from home on a whim… When Father’s barely cooled in his grave! And after I promised him I’d take care of things…This is a mistake. I ought to turn right around and…


She was about to put that decision into action when the underbrush rustled. Close behind her a voice chirped.

“So, you’re goin’ to fetch ‘im 'ome after all, eh?”

Startled, Mari whirled around, her hood falling back and her lantern held high. Seeing no one, she blinked in bewilderment. It took her another moment yet to recognize the voice and her perusal dropped down.
“You again!?”
Standing on the path between her and way she’d come, the fox looked back at her with what had to be a sort of lopsided smile.
“Indeed t’is.”
“And what are you doing here? I thought you’d left, fox.”
“I went back t’ get the ‘en, but you’d buried her already, and put a stone o’er the grave so I couldn’ dig it up. So I figger’d you’d gone off then, and I was right.”
“That’s right. I’m going.” Mari turned away and resumed walking.
There was a minute of peace, and then she heard a set of four slim paws begin trotting after her. Within a few quick paces, the fox was loping alongside her.
“So, since you decided to quit whinin’ ‘bout it bein’ ‘too big and not safe’, where d’you plan to start lookin’?”
Mari frowned down at him. Part of her wondered what interested him so much in her doings. She had nothing anymore he could want as far as she knew. The rest of her was annoyed by him voicing the very question that she should have asked herself.
“Are you following me again?”
“Why not? D’ya know where you’re goin’?” he insisted.

Mari rolled her eyes. “No! I don’t know where I’m going. And what I do is not your business, fox. Don’t you have some den to get back to? Or another farm to raid?”

The fox stopped for a moment in a patch of shadow, looking stung by the rejection. Mari kept walking without losing a step. That was a little harsh, her inner voice reproached. But a few seconds later, she again heard the light patter as the fox caught up. He was silent at first, and guilt twinged at her. The softening went against what she thought her stronger nature.

“I do ‘ave a name y’know, so firs’ off you can quit with the ‘fox’ label.”
Mari resisted the urge to stop in her tracks.
Is this some kind of joke?
“Foxes have names? Since when?”
“Everythin’ has a name. Rule of bein’ a living bein’ with a spirit, whatever shape you are. Including me.”
“I didn’t know. What is it?”
“It’s Crevan.”
Mari cast a glance down at him. “Figures, you look like a Crevan. And my name is Mari, but it’s Miss Pyctine to you. Now what do you want?”
“I knew that already. The question is ‘ow do you plan to find your brother if you don’t know ‘ow to look or where you’re goin’?”
Mari gritted her teeth. Somebody spare me…“I’m figuring that out as I go. I’ll come up with something. Why?”
“I’ve been places, lots o’ them. I could ‘elp you, y’know. It’d make up for ruinin’ you.”
This time Mari stopped and gave Crevan a considering look, taking in his skinny frame. He sat down on the path with his large ears perked up and bottle-brush tail twitching.  The picture of eager optimism. She rolled her eyes and turned away.

“Great. That makes me feel so much better.”

“I’m serious! Let me come too!” he cried. His voice silenced the nearest frogs in the trees but awoke a squirrel above Mari’s passing head. The unseen rodent quokked at the noise below and threw a pinecone that missed her. She heard a second one crack on the ground behind her.


“Ahh go back to sleep you little tree-rat!” Crevan yelled at it as he caught up with her again. “Didn’t you hear what I said?” He asked her.

Mari turned around again in another patch of shadow and stooped to eye-level with him. “Uh-huh. I can imagine how that will help. I’m already on the bottom at home, you know. I’m the ‘Mean One’, ‘Shrew’, ‘That Girl’, to mention a few ‘nicknames’, not that I don’t deserve them. With you tagging along, I’ll be labeled crazy as well, in every village or city I come to. No one talks to crazy people except other the other mad folk. Besides-” She fished into her bag for the map and held it where the dim light could show the markings. “I don’t need a guide to help me. I have a map. See? A good one too, as soon as I learn to read it properly.”

Crevan cocked his head and blinked at sight of it. For a moment, she wondered if she was going to have to explain to him what a map was the way Jhed explained it to her. After all, it would be silly if a fox knew more about such things than she did.

“A map only tells where places are. It doesn' tell you about them or who’s there. And that’s just as important. I can tell you more about those places than any piece o’ parchment. And I didn’ think you looked the type to care wha’ anyone called you, Miss Pyctine.”

Mari sighed as she felt her face redden. Thunder rumbled overhead and dawn began to filter through the clouds and tree canopy. Above them, they could hear animals scurrying for cover. There was no doubt a storm was coming, and the sun wouldn’t hold out for long.


It’s an offer, her brain said. She could use more information about where she was going, wherever that turned out to be first. But…
Are you out of your mind? He’ll drive me crazy!
Still, an offer is an offer. You can always change your mind later.
She took a deep breath to calm herself. It was tempting… but then she remembered what he’d done to her life so far.

“I don’t have time to argue with you. I have a map, and that’s all I need. End of story. You hear?”

Crevan seemed to think for a split-moment, then a little gleam came into his copper eyes. With one swift snap, he snatched the map from Mari’s hand in his jaws and raced off down the path for a way. He stopped to stare back at her, tail wagging.
Mari stared for a moment, her mouth hanging open at him. At first, she couldn't believe it. Then she rose to her feet with narrowing eyes. Crevan raced away down the road as she proceeded to chase after him yelling.
“Why you wretched- Wait! Come back here!”

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Comments: 8

Imageshr [2015-06-27 12:58:56 +0000 UTC]

A nice chapter and I think that this duo will give us a lot of good moments in next chapters. Nice to see again the fox and knowing his name: Crevan. Just out of curiosity, has his name related to "craven"? I like Crevan's accent because it gives him a distinctive way of talking and I am interested in his motivations for guiding Mari. Surely, these motivations will be explained in next chapters. By the way, Crevan is really persistent.

The depiction about the forest and its trees, the references to the animals and their behaviour and sounds that they produce are very good and they are placed in a part of the story very appropiate. You can image very well the scenary where Mari is walking. As walking alone is, usually, a peaceful and slow process, a detailed depiction here is great for expressing that.

I liked when you wrote: "with the side of the balls of her feet and then rolling them inward". It seems to be a difficult way for walking, but it is a stealthily way and I suppose that this is very important if you walk through a wild forest and your only arm is a small knife. I love these details in a story.

Finally, it is a good moment for changing the point of view and come back with Cethin, as I saw in next chapter.

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White-Feather In reply to Imageshr [2015-06-27 16:32:37 +0000 UTC]

Oh yes, Crevan the fox has a part to play for further chapters, both fun and useful. Especially since Mari is so often a moody personality, Crevan as a more upbeat type makes for a good foil to play off against her. His name does look similar to "craven", doesn't it? But actually I looked it up and it's the Irish name meaning "fox" at a site I found online. His accent is a bit tricky, since I wanted to convey the sense that as a non-human character, his mouth doesn't quite move the same way as ours, so the basic key traits to his speech is that most "h"s are dropped (though some other characters have this quirk as a suggestion of their origin of localle and social class/education level), and silent "g" is dropped at the end of words ending in "-ing" as well as some words ending in "t" like "doesn't" or "f" in "of". As for his motives in helping Mari, yes he is very persistent as well as genuine in it. However, you may have to wait a good while to find out what they exactly are since I haven't written that chapter yet.

Thank you for the mention about the depiction of the forest, that was a part about this scene I did love describing. For me description of imagery is important since to me each scene is like a painting or illustration or still from a film, and I like to capture that picture as much as possible. When this story is finished for print publication, I ideally would want it to have illustrations that complement and fit the writing as much as possible.

Walking the way Mari does here is a little tricky at first, but I tried it before inclusion, and it can be done, though in real life it's a technique more often used by hunters for exactly the reasons of stealth.

Thank you again.

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faile35 [2007-07-04 16:01:14 +0000 UTC]

I like this duo. A lot. They make a very interesting pair.

I thought this sentence was just a bit awkward, and I suggest a revision (which is beneath it).

"With one swift snap, he snatched the map from Mari’s hand in his jaws and raced off down the path for a ways."

Suggestion: "With one swift snap of his jaws, he snatched the map from Mari's hand and raced off down the path."

Looking forward to the next installment!

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White-Feather In reply to faile35 [2007-07-04 17:28:40 +0000 UTC]

Well, we'll be seeing them a lot, so I hope they can remain interesting. Thanks for the suggestion! I hope you don't mind if I use it.

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faile35 In reply to White-Feather [2007-10-02 15:29:14 +0000 UTC]

Not at all. You're welcome.

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White-Feather In reply to faile35 [2007-10-03 03:14:38 +0000 UTC]

Thanks.

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Susa-the-insane [2007-07-01 19:12:10 +0000 UTC]

Hidden by Owner

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White-Feather In reply to Susa-the-insane [2007-07-01 20:04:07 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. I have to admit he's fun to write....

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Susa-the-insane In reply to White-Feather [2007-07-01 20:40:24 +0000 UTC]

Hidden by Owner

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White-Feather In reply to Susa-the-insane [2007-07-01 21:17:32 +0000 UTC]

Indeed.

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