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Description
With the obnoxious banging finally coming to a halt, the white machine shuddered in its final moments before it stilled. Hitting the light switch in the small bathroom, the young raven-haired man made for the washing machine, an empty basket supported on his hips. One hand placing the basket on the tiled floor, the other opened the washing machine’s door.

Bending down, he reached in, scooping a handful of clothes and transferring them into the basket until none were left. As he took out the last bunch, a faded white shirt caught his attention. Disentangling it from the other clothes, he flicked it twice to smooth out any wrinkles.

The material was thin and worn out, the collar slightly frayed. He examined it closely, his lips curling down upon seeing another button missing down the front of the shirt. It was his one and only formal shirt and he had to wear this for a job interview later in the afternoon. With a click of his tongue, he draped the shirt over his arm and carried the basket of clothes out into the living room.

Still holding the shirt, he headed for his bedroom in search of needle and thread. Finding none, he tried his mother’s room instead. Two minutes of searching finally yielded the sewing box. But upon opening it, he noted the absence of any spare buttons. He let out an exasperated sigh, his dark locks falling over his eyes as his head hung low.

Why did nothing seem to go his way?

First, he had lost his job just two days ago. Though the pay wasn’t much, the hours fit into his class schedule, which was rare. Now, his only good shirt was missing a button right in the middle. It was too conspicuous a place to not mend it. He wasn’t superstitious but it often seemed that bad things always came in threes. So what next?

The box still in hand, he sunk down on the bed, the weary springs creaking in protest. Running a hand through his hair, he closed his eyes, trying not to recall the scene that was ingrained in his mind for the past few days. But just the thought of it both enraged and saddened him. That incident was the cause of everything but really, who could he blame?

Erwin maybe? For being everything that he was not?

Or (F/N)’s parents? For telling her that she should look for someone of a similar status as them?

Or (F/N)? For growing apart from him?

No.

The fucking problem was himself. Maybe if he was born into a more well-to-do family, things would be different. Maybe if he held down more jobs, things would be different. Maybe if he worked harder, graduated faster, and launched into a speedy career, things would be different.

But that wasn’t happening anymore. He had let his emotions gain the better of him and now, not only had he lost her, but his job as well. How could he look at his mother and two siblings in the eye? They were counting on him and here he was, moping over a girl.

With a click of his tongue, he launched himself off the bed. This was no time to sit and whine. Heading for the living room, he had barely placed the sewing kit on the side table when a loud knock resounded in the small space.

He frowned. He wasn’t expecting his mum or siblings to be back so soon. Crossing over to the front door in two steps, he opened it.

“Hey, I figured you were in.”

The subject of all his worries stood in front of him, dressed in three-quarter khakis and a sleeveless tee. A bag strapped over her shoulder, she folded her arms across her chest, a small smirk on her lips. Without waiting for a reply, she pushed her way in.

“Your mum not home yet?” she asked.

A sigh escaping his lips, he shut the door behind him. “No. What are you doing here, (F/N)?”

She looked over her shoulder with a slight grimace. “Leeeviii,” she said in that ingratiating tone which she only used when she was desperate for help. “Help me with this exam, please?”

Levi’s lips pursed into a thin line. Looking at her, his childhood friend of 13 years, it was like nothing had changed. She had not changed. Their relationship… had not changed. Not even after that little incident two years ago when they had almost kissed.

He looked away, his heart constricting when he thought of her with Erwin. “Why don’t you ask Erwin for help?”

“He’s busy.”

So he wasn’t her first choice after all. Grabbing the sewing kit and his worn shirt, he brushed past her. “Sorry, I’m busy too.”

From the corner of his eyes, he saw her eyes widen in surprise. It was unlike him to turn her down so curtly but unfortunately, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with her problems. And just looking at her now made his head throb painfully. Still, he could hear her follow him into his bedroom, stubbornly refusing to leave.

He set the sewing kit on the table and pulled out one of the chairs, steadfastly ignoring her as he sat down and got to work. With a loud thump, she dropped her bag down beside the sewing kit as she hopped onto the table.

“Levi, I really need your help,” she said in a serious tone, her eyes trying to make contact with his.

Remaining silent, he examined the thread used to fasten the last button on the shirt. His plan was to remove that button and sew it back in the middle position. Hopefully that wouldn’t be too noticeable. As he removed the scissors from the sewing kit, he heard her sigh but his gaze remained focused on the task at hand.

“You know me, Levi. Normally I wouldn’t bother you if you were busy.” She paused, her voice a tad lower than before. “But this exam is really important to me.. It’s personal.”

Without moving his head, his eyes flickered up to see her lips set in a grim downward curve. He could judge from her expression that she was really bothered by this exam. Unable to contain his bubbling concern for her, he broke his silence. “A personal exam?”

Eliciting a snort from her, she threw her head back, followed by another sigh. “No. You remember my bitchy cousin, Krista?”

He gave a sharp nod in response.

“She’s taking this same class as me.”

Levi’s eyebrows lifted. “I thought you didn’t care much about her or that silly competition between her parents and yours.”

“I don’t.” She ran a hand through her hair, sweeping it behind her ears. “I never cared about it. Partly, I guess, because either way, I always got better grades than her in high school anyway.”

“But ever since I took up an Arts major, that bitch has been rubbing it in my face like never before.” Her eyes narrowed into slits, her fury burning holes into the table. “It doesn’t hurt my pride. I chose this path, so I accepted everything that comes with it.”

Leaning back in his seat, Levi listened attentively. He knew exactly how hard (F/N) had fought against her parents so that she could pursue her passion. Nothing could smolder her fierce determination, much less a competitive asshole.

“But…” Two fingers rubbing her temple, she rested an arm on her knee. “I really don’t want to disappoint Mum and Dad. It was a big decision for them to let me do this and I would hate to see Krista’s parents using my failure in this class to one up my parents at the reunion dinner.”

Levi absentmindedly glanced down at the shirt in his hand. He could fully empathize with her. Just like how he wanted to make his mother proud of him, (F/N) wanted to prove herself to her parents. Even though they had allowed her to pursue a less “science-y” major, it didn’t mean that they fully supported her. After all, the pressure from friends and relatives who had children around the same age would push them into the unhealthy competitive mindset.

Knowing that his resolve to remain out of her problems was weakening, he set the shirt down on the table with a light sigh. “So… what is this problem you’re having?”

Her eyes immediately lighting up, he felt that familiar flutter in his chest as she hurriedly rummaged in her bag, pulling out a stack of folded papers. Why was it that just seeing her happy made him feel like he was the luckiest person in the world?

“It’s for the Creative Writing class I’m taking.” She smoothened the papers with the back of her palm and handed it to him. “Basically we need to write from the perspective of a hardened criminal who has fallen in love with the prime minister’s daughter.”

Levi skimmed over the papers as she spoke, noting the tons of scribbles that she had already made detailing her analysis of the exam question. Stopping at one of the pages, he could see where she had gotten stuck at. Scores of red-inked question marks dotted the section, showcasing her frustration.

He read that section over carefully. To put it simply, she had reached the conflict of the story, where the criminal was now torn between staying with the woman he loved and endangering her life, or leaving her and breaking both of their hearts in the process. Notes about the two characters’ thought processes covered the piece of paper but unlike the previous pages, there were no lines connecting them.

Flipping through the pages again, he said, “I take it you’re having problems with threading the pieces together into a cohesive flow.”

“Yes,” she drawled in exasperation. “No matter how I write the scene, it just doesn’t make sense. It just sounds… forced.”

Levi frowned, looking at her over the top of the papers. “I’m not really good at this shitty romance stuff either.”

Guffawing, she jumped off the table and patted his shoulder. “I know that. But you are still a guy. So you can at least act as the hardened criminal.”

His eyebrows creased. “What?”

“We, Mr. Ackerman, are gonna act out this scene,” she replied. Standing with a hand on her hips, she crooked her index finger a few times, beckoning him over. “Now, come on. Chop chop.”

Levi gave her a deadpanned stare, wondering whether she was serious. When she repeated the gesture again, he rolled his eyes, dragging his body out of the chair reluctantly. He murmured under his breath, “This is so stupid.”

Ignoring Levi’s retort, (F/N) cleared her throat before clasping her hands together in front of her. “Why do you need to leave me, Jack?” she declared, her overly dramatic expression causing Levi to stifle a laugh.

“Errr…” Struggling to come up with a response, he shrugged. “Because… I’m a criminal?”

Throwing an arm out wide, she gave a plaintive shake of her head. “I don’t care what you are. I just want to be with you!”

Talk about cheesy. This whole acting shit gave him goosebumps. Rolling his eyes, he grumbled, “This is lame.”

Still frozen in motion, (F/N)’s lips barely opened as she whispered, “Act for real, man.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Your acting is bad too, what the hell.”

“Oh come on, stop it, Levi. Now get real, okay?” She cocked her head to the side.

“Fine..” He breathed out in a sharp hiss, sweeping a hand through his hair. “I’m a criminal, you’re a… normal woman. So go live your life, Liz.”

(F/N) took a step closer towards him. Her hands reaching out to hold his arm, it prompted a slight twitch from him at the close contact. She fixed him with an intense gaze. “I don’t want to. I can come with you. I can adapt to your life.”

She really could get into it, it seemed. If he had not known the context of her words, he would have thought she was sincere. What would it be like it was…

His heart clenching at the thought, he shrugged her off and scoffed. “You don’t want my life, Liz. It’s full of danger and it’s so insecure…” He paused at that last word. Insecure, huh. Boy, could he relate. “So unstable.”

He looked at her glistening eyes shining back at him. Eyes that he only wished conveyed love. The words spilled out of his lips of their own accord. “You want stability. You need stability.”

“I don’t need it if I’m with you.”

His tongue clicked in annoyance. “Yes you do.”

“Levi?”

Shook out of his own world, he hastily regained his composure, a hand rubbing the back of his neck. “What?”

“What’s wrong?” She gave him a curious look, one eye narrowed.

“N-nothing.” The corner of his lip turning downward, he jabbed an accusing finger at her. “You asked me to get real, so I did.”

Eying him quizzically, she let the silence fester for a while longer before letting it slide. “Oookay. So hmm where were we… oh right.” She thumped a palm to her chest. “But I love you, Jack. And I want to be with you.”

He inhaled a breath of relief at her acceptance of his excuse. This was getting too real. It was like he was being sucked into the whole act. He had to disengage himself.

Putting on his casual monotone voice, he continued with the scene. “No you don’t love me.”

“Yes I do,” she countered, inching closer to him until they were chest to chest.

“No.” Levi pushed her away. “Whatever it is you’re feeling now… that’s just… adrenaline and some hormonal shit.”

Trying to find a more logical reason, he settled with a simple “I don’t know.” He added, “You’re just a typical emotional woman swayed by their feelings.”

Her eyes widened, a fire igniting in them as she bristled at his words. “What the..”

“Hey and you’re an emotionless killing machine!” she snarled, her tone increasing in volume. “What the hell do you know about love anyway huh?!”

Wincing like he had just been hit in the chest, Levi gulped hard. But she wasn’t done just yet.

“Do you even know what it’s like to go to sleep every night wondering whether your loved one is safe? Hoping that even if it’s just for a second, that you’ll get to see them in your dream?? Because you can’t stand the thought of losing them???”

His gaze flickered to the side, his chest constricting with every word. He knew all too well what it was like.

“Now that I think about it, I don’t even know whether you love me… But you know what? It doesn’t matter. Because you’re the one and only one I love!”

Lies. All lies.

“Right. Says the woman who flirts with another man,” he mumbled bitterly.

(F/N) gripped his arm, pulling him around to face her. Her gaze burning into his, she demanded, “What man??”

Unable to stand the festering rage that had been boiling inside him, he yanked his arm away, fixing her with an intense glower. “Don’t pretend to be innocent. I saw you the other day with Er-” Almost blurting out the name, he caught himself. “..that other guy! He’s the one you want as your partner. He’s blonde, handsome, rich, charming, and from a good family. He’s exactly what your parents want for you too.”

“So what?! It’s my life,” she proclaimed. “And I choose to be with you.”

Who was she kidding?

Levi swept a hand through his bangs, his eyes squeezed shut. “Just… leave me alone, man. Life would be so much simpler that way.”

“Leave you?” He heard her scoff in disbelief. “One day, you’re holding me in your arms and the next day, you’re pushing me away.”

A sudden yank of his polo shirt collar forced his eyes open and he found himself staring into a pair of narrowed, irate eyes. Her cheeks puffed in rage, she bellowed in his face, “What do you think of me as huh?? An easy woman?? Am I someone who just looks for a bad boy or…. or a stable, boring man???”

Jerking him to and fro by his collar, she raved on, spittle escaping her mouth. “Why are you doing this to me?? Are you playing games with me??”

Now who was playing fucking games with who???

Gripping her wrist, he forcefully removed her hold on him, flinging her hand away. He countered harshly, “You’re just so selfish aren’t you?? Everything’s always about you, you, you. Have you even thought about me and what I want??”

“Me?! Selfish?!” She snorted, throwing her hands up. “Fine, what is it that you want?”

“What? What?” Her volume increasing with each question, she stuck her head out towards him. “What is it that you want so much that you can’t say?”

Levi’s lips pursed in a grim line, refusing to answer.

(F/N) crossed her arms across her chest, a simpering smile growing on her face. “Oh…. Now someone is too much of a coward to come out and say it. Why? Are you too scared??”

“Yes I am scared! I’m scared of losing you!”

“Then why can’t you let me come with you??” She persisted.

His teeth ground together in an effort to suppress his words.

“You’re not making any sense!”

His heart hammered furiously against his chest.

“You’re just being so fucking stubborn and I just don’t get you!”

Something snapped in him.

“It’s because I love you too damn much okay, (F/N)!”

His gaze shifting to her face, he saw her jaw fall slack, her expression dazed. Realizing what he had said only after the words were out, his eyes widened in shock.

Oh shit.