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winwinwinwin — PRO.h random page trial
by-nc-nd
Published: 2012-02-06 17:39:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 3002; Favourites: 82; Downloads: 15
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Description
any comments are welcome criticism as well. .i want to make this better. . .its the first time i use sfx.this is the first trial on toning
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i cant help but im too eager to make it better. .
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Comments: 54
2 crits:
The screen tone is a bit heavy. You have a good balance between the blacks and the white, but the screen tone throws it off because there is so much. Your first toning reads much better. 
Other than that there are too many panel "pops" where the characters burst out of the panels. It can only be done so many times before it looses its effect. I personally try to not to break the panel more than once a page and space the pages out where it is done.
The sound fx is done rather nicely and flows correctly. The action is also good.
Keep it up!
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like you have said I over toned it, its becoz its midnight, btw thanks for the crits ^_^ I will do better next time.
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Not a problem.
Good luck!
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thanks
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yep ^_^ if im not satisfied i'll improve it
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I am amazed by your art, and im praying your not already collaborating with someone because that would be devestating. I have been looking all over for a manga artist and here you are.
Will Power
A massive crysis has come apon japan (or where ever you would make it). Terrorists come and capture most of tokyo's population and are smuggling them into an old abandoned prison. They hold the prisoners hostage and are asking for a ransome from the rest of japan. Each prisoner has an execution date. It is Will"s last day alive before the terrorists kill him and right befor they try to kill him he fights back...
Will ends up freeing most of the people in the prison. Once he gets back to his normal life the terrorrists are out to hunt him down in larger numbers, and capturing people as they go along. The police and the government are kept out by armed terrorrists.Will forms a group who's misson is to free the captured and kill the terrorists.
Thats just a basic over view of my story and it would mean a lot to me if we collaborated.
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This is really amazing.. Really, really good job!
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oh yeah YO Smashing! I think this looks awesome!
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haha thank you ^_______^
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lol 
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This is really good. The sfx is really cool looking. My first time I sawtones use for sfx i think. Very creative! The way this page is set up is very unique as well. I like how the characters overlap the panels; you would think doing something like that a lot would be too much, but it works here I think, maybe because there's a lot of action on this page. Good work and I love that you still are looking for ways to make it better. Can't wait to see how!
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thanks for everything u said. lol yah i want my works to be better than any thing i have done.
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Is that guy on the first panel running towards his shooters with his arm stretched out, or is he just dramatically drawing out his weapon?
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running and drawing his guns out. .
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Where are his guns holstered?
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in his back. .i had another page in here.
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Anything else I need to know before I start critiquing this page?
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haha nothing more just criticize how I toned it and how I made it look. .
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Blaah, how did you get it like that?! It's freaking awesome. Agree with the commenters who said it's professional looking. Sometimes I tried to get that professional look but it turns out....un-professional. I don't know what sfx is, though, if you could enlighten me on it, please?
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this is very professional :3 i'm guessing this is your plan for life
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your welcome
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i sketch and ink it half a day and i toned it 3 hours.
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wow, that's a long time for me lol but you did a great job, it looks as if you did it using a computer
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hehe
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thanks
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thanks
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It's pretty good, awesome still. What would help it pop would be adding a flash around the muzzle to give some oomph to the deal.
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next time
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I still think it looks awesome as it is
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bang bang" thingy kinda disappoints me.shame on me. lol
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