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“Eren Jaeger?” you asked doubtfully.

The Special Operations Squad was to protect Eren Jaeger on the 57th expedition outside the walls? You refused to accept it.

When Levi Ackerman had handpicked you to be a part of his Special Operations Squad, you had been elated. You had single-handedly slain seven titans and another thirty-six with your squad. Your fighting skills weren’t as great as those of Oluo or Petra’s , but you did your best not to hinder the squad.

During training, your equipment had malfunctioned and you had fallen from a great height. Petra had saved you before you had gotten severely injured, but you still suffered a slight arm injury. So much had happened in the time that you had been recovering.

You hadn’t known much of what was going on, since you were on cleaning duty until you healed, courtesy of Levi Ackerman, your squad leader.

It was a shock to come back to Petra and find out that you had the duty of protecting Eren Jaeger.

The world was a ruthless place. No matter how hard you trained and fought, a single blow from a titan could mean death. In a place like that, how could they protect someone in the midst of a battle? Not only did you have to protect someone, but it was Eren, a hotheaded newbie who was too quick to act and not quick enough to think.

“Accept it, (Name)” Oluo said, “there’s no way around it. Just do your job—” was all he could say, imitating Levi’s tone, before he bit his tongue. Again.

“Don’t worry, (Name)” Petra assured, “we’re strong enough to protect each other. Trust us.”

You nodded. After the whole spoon incident, The Levi Squad had seemed extremely apologetic towards Eren, who hadn’t intended any harm. But you weren’t as forgiving. You had been in the infirmary while your squad members had bitten down on their hands to show Eren their trust. And it was a good thing, too. Because you didn’t trust him. You couldn’t.

How could a titan be allied with them? What would happen if Eren lost control of his powers again? That was your job. You clenched your fists. Your job was to eliminate him if he was a threat to humanity.

“That aside, (Name)” Gunther said “are you feeling alright now?”

“Yes. Thankfully, the injury wasn’t too severe since Petra saved me” Petra gave you a warm smile.

“Well, you know what we need to do now” Eld said.

You nodded. “Keep Eren Jaeger under control and protect him at all costs” you said emptily.

“I know it’s hard to trust him, (Name)” Petra said “but we really do believe he has humanity’s best interest at heart. He wants to help us defeat the titans. That’s all we can ask for.”

“But will he help us defeat the titans or help the titans defeat us?” you asked, crossing your arms. “I trust you, Petra, but I can’t bring myself to trust him. Not yet” you clenched your fists, “my parents...they’re outside the wall, if they’re still alive at all. I need to find them. I need to save them before the titans get them. I just know they’re still alive, Petra. I know...I know I can save them. I just can’t forgive those titans. They took everything from me.”

Petra put a hand on your shoulder. “I understand, (Name)” she said soothingly “we all do. That’s why we’re here. So we can all see the end of the titans, once and for all.”

“That’s right” Eld said.

“We’re all here” Gunther said.

“Don’t underestimate us, (Name). Those titans don’t stand a chance” Oluo said. “After all, Captain Levi chose us.”

“Yes, he did” you said. That was right. Levi had chosen you to be in his squad. You would protect Eren. You wouldn’t let Levi down.

But, oh...it was so hard. You shut your eyes tightly as you rode next to Eren. The 57th expedition outside the walls has begun, but your mind was elsewhere. Your horse protested at your tight hold on his reigns with a short whinny. No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t trust Eren.

Erwin held out his hand, announcing “into long-range scouting formation!”

“(Name)” Petra whispered, giving a little nudge to get you back into formation. You shook your head. You had to focus. It wasn’t time to be thinking about a trivial matter like trusting Eren right now. You nodded to Petra in thanks and looked at Eren out of the corner of your eye as your squad split from the rest of the group.

It wasn’t long before green flares were shot into the air. You looked up at the green smoke, narrowing your eyes. What was going on?

“Oluo. You shoot” Levi ordered.

“Roger” Oluo said, a little grimly.

“Reporting in!” a voice called from the side. You didn’t turn to look. Levi would take care of it. “Attack from the rear! The right-wing suffered severe losses! Parts of the scouting formation are no longer functional! Please pass this message on to the left!”

“You heard, Petra?” Levi asked, “go.”

“Yes, sir” Petra said, splitting off from the formation and taking off at full speed.

You glanced at Eren warily. Would he be alright? Being out on an expedition was difficult enough for a new recruit, but the formation was falling apart too fast. Before you could find any consoling words, black flares lit the sky. Abnormals!

“Eren, you shoot!” Levi ordered.

“Yes, sir!” Eren said, fumbling a little for his gun.

“Look at that now” Levi muttered, “they’ve managed to get this deep into the formation.” You looked at Eren again.

‘Just hang in there a little longer’ you silently begged Eren.

If Eren lost control in a time like this, there was no telling what would happen.

“Captain!” Eren called as the squad entered the forest, “Captain Levi!”

“What.”

“What do you mean, ‘what’?” Eren asked, “we’re in the forest! If just the middle section is in the forest, we won’t know when the titans approach! And something seems to be approaching from the right! How are we supposed to avoid the titans or protect the wagons?!”

“Don’t ask such stupid questions” Levi responded, “we can’t do that anymore.”

“Why are we—?” Eren started again.

“Look around you, Eren. A forest of ridiculously huge trees” Levi said, “an ideal place to fight with our ODM gear. Now think. Think with that small excuse of a brain. If you don’t want to die, get those gears turning.”

“Yes, sir!” Eren said.

You looked at Levi’s back. It was impressive how he managed to answer Eren’s question while consoling and encouraging him. Your grip on the reins tightened. You admired Levi for his quick thinking and intelligence.

But...what was going on? You glanced at the others. None of you had any idea what was going on. And Eren would catch on soon enough. You had to be strong and have a straight face. You couldn’t provoke Eren into using his titan form out of panic.

“Eren” you said, your voice strangely calm, “stay calm. This isn’t the first time something went wrong during an expedition.”

Eren looked at you fearfully. You swallowed. You would have to continue. You had to console him. “In times like these, we must follow orders no matter what. Commander Erwin is experienced. He knows the advantages and consequences. By sending us into this forest, Commander Erwin has communicated that he has a plan. All we need to do is follow that plan. So follow us. Follow Captain Levi. And don’t falter.”

“Yes.” Was Eren’s simple reply.

You didn’t look at him, but you hoped your message had gotten through. You wanted nothing more than to yell at him to get his head straight. But you knew it wasn’t fair to take out your rage and fear on him. In fact, that would be the worst decision to make. Right now was not a matter of having a lack of trust in Eren. Your job was to protect him, from himself and from other titans. That was your duty.

It wasn’t long before the sound of loud, echoing footsteps could be heard pursuing the squad.

“Captain! Please give us your orders!” Petra called, fearfully turning to glance at the titan, who was quickly gaining on the squad.

You turned to look and for a split second, your blood went cold. She was a 14-meter tall titan. That itself wasn’t as unnerving as the glow in her eyes. Her eyes flashed with a sense of murderous purpose, and at once, you knew this was no ordinary titan. She was one of incredible intelligence. Perhaps...could she possibly be like Eren?

You turned your head back to face the front, shutting your eyes tightly as you heard the screams of the dying scouts behind you.

Eren began to turn around to look behind him, but you reached out to stop him.

“Keep your head down” you warned quietly.

For some reason, you had a feeling that Eren was somehow involved with this titan. Why had this titan come to the center of the formation, of all places? There was no way she would have been able to enter the forest otherwise. Or she would have gone off in the direction of the other scouts, since they were crowded together. Why would the titan come here? Certainly not for Levi. That would be impossible. And there was no specific reason why the original members of the squad would be targeted. With that reasoning, you could think of just one remaining reason for why the titan had appeared here.

“She’s after Eren” you hissed to Gunther carefully so that Eren wouldn’t hear.

“Are you kidding?” Gunther demanded.

“I’m sure Captain Levi has already figured it out” you said, “but she’s gaining on us fast. Your orders, sir!”

Levi gave no reply.

“Captain!” Petra called, a little more frantically, “Captain, please!”

It was then that you caught sight of the trees. Commander Erwin hung off the side of one and slashed his blade through the air.

“FIRE!” the command came without a warning. At once, thousands of sharp spears shot towards the female titan, who raised her arms to defend herself.

So that had been the plan from the start.

“Well Eren! Did you see that? We captured that titan!” Gunther said.

“This is the power of the Survey Corps!” Oluo added, “don’t underestimate us, you dolt!”

“Yes!” Eren said, a determined smile on his face.

You stared longer than you should have. It was a moment to rejoice, as all the lives that had been lost were for the capture of this female titan. She was sure to be able to give much more information to humans about titans. And yet, it didn’t feel right at all. Something was off.

Levi flew up to the tree branch where Erwin stood with his ODM gear. The rest of the squad was to get further into the forest and prepare to regroup.

“Gunther! Isn’t this far enough?” Oruo asked as they continued to ride into the forest. You patted your horse consolingly. Sure enough, she was getting tired.

You tied your horses to the trees a little further down and flew up into the trees, perching there and waiting for Levi’s signal.

“Perhaps there’s a spy?” Gunther suggested after a few moments of silence.

“At any rate, that’s what the Commander must be suspecting” Eld agreed, “I dare say only the survivors from five years ago were informed of the plan.”

“I see. So that’s what it was” Gunther said.

“There’s no doubt about it” Oluo put in, “well Eren, there you have it.”

“Yeah, if that’s the case, it makes sense” Petra agreed.

“Yes” Eren said, seeming a little taken aback.

“Maybe they’re assuming the enemy slipped in five years ago, when the wall was first destroyed, and narrowing down suspects accordingly” Petra suggested.

“That’s probably it” the others murmured, agreeing. Eren looked down. You knew exactly what he was thinking. Hadn’t too many lives been sacrificed just to catch this spy?

“Do you think the Commander was mistaken?” you asked.

Eren seemed a little startled by your question.

“What do you mean, (Name)?” Eren asked.

“Eren, you’ve yet to realize it, but I’m sure you will soon enough” Eld said, quickly catching on to your point, “the reason why Erwin Smith was entrusted with the Survey Corps—the hope of mankind.”

“Captain Levi puts his full trust in him, after all” Petra pointed out.

“That’s assuming you survive long enough to find out though” Oluo said.

You looked up as a dark blue flare lit the sky.

“Looks like we’re done here” Gunther announced, “mount your horses! Prepare to withdraw!”

As you flew through the air towards the horses, you frowned as a green flare emerged from the trees.

“That must be from Captain Levi” Gunther said, “we’ll meet up with Captain Levi. Save the rest for after we’re back.”

Gunther shot a green signal flare into the air.

“P-Petra…” you murmured, trembling a little.

“(Name)? What’s the matter?” Petra asked.

“It feels wrong” you said, “something’s off, I know it.”

“Don’t be a baby, (Name)” Oluo said, “once we meet up with Captain Levi, we’re as safe as can be.”

“You’re…right…” you said after a momentary pause.

“See? There he is now” Oluo said, glancing off to the side.

You followed his gaze to where a hooded figure flew close nearby.

“Captain Levi?” Gunther muttered, frowning, “no, that’s not him! Who’re you?!”

Before you could blink, the figure shot forward, slashing its blade at Gunther, who fell and dangled from the trees.

“Huh?!”

“Gunther!”

“Wait, what happened?!”

Eren flew down towards where Gunther hung upside-down from the trees.

Your breathing rate began to accelerate. Gunther was dead. He was dead! His lifeless eyes stared into the endless forest before them as the hooded figure began to close in again.

“Eren! Don’t stop! Keep going!” Oluo yelled, grabbing Eren as they fled.

“But Gunter—!”

The hooded figure was right behind them now.

“Who’s there?!” Petra demanded.

“Protect Eren!” Oluo yelled, “what do we do? Eld, where should we go?”

“We don’t have time to reach the horses!” Eld replied, “head for headquarters as fast as possible!”

“Is it the female titan? Or is there more than one?” Oluo asked.

“How dare you?!” Petra muttered through gritted teeth, as she turned to face the opponent, “come at me! I’ll take you down, no matter what!”

“She disappeared!” you said, “don’t slow down!”

There was a crash of light that was all too familiar.

“It’s coming! The female titan!” Eld yelled.

Sure enough, the female titan began to race towards them.

“How dare you?! This time, I’ll defeat you!” Eren challenged the titan.

“No!” Eld ordered, “the four of us will kill the female titan. You will continue to head straight to headquarters at top speed!”

“I’ll fight, too!” Eren yelled back.

“No! This is the best move!” you yelled back, “your power is too risky!”

“What? Do you doubt us?” Oluo demanded.

“Is that it, Eren?” Petra asked, “do you find it that hard to believe in us?”

Eren hesitated for a moment before retreating in the opposite direction.

“I have faith that my squad will be victorious!” he yelled back to you, “good luck!”

The four of you gave determined smiles. Good. You watched Eren disappear from sight. Very good. It would be all for nothing if Eren was captured at this moment. Now that he wouldn’t get in the way of the fight…

The rest of your squad turned towards the female titan and flew towards her.

Eld attacked first, leaping forward and creating a smoke cover for the three of you. You and Petra went for the right eye while Oluo went for the left. In three slashes, the female titan was left blind and staggering.

She fell backwards against a tree, raising her arms to protect her nape.

‘Make her pay!”

‘No mistakes now…’

‘We kill her here!’

The four of you raced towards the titan.

‘We won’t let your eyes regenerate’ you thought.

Eld, Oluo, Petra, and you slashed at her continuously from all directions.

“Hah!” you twisted in the air to slice a deep cut into the titan’s shoulder.

They would shear off so much muscle around her shoulders that she wouldn’t be able to lift her arms!

‘We need to make its arms fall!’

Blood littered the forest floor as eight unrelenting blades slashed at the titan’s arms. Finally, her arms fell, leaving her nape defenseless.

“Now for the neck!” Eld yelled, going forward.

“Quickly! Before it regenerates!” You yelled.

“Cut through the muscles that support its neck!” Oluo yelled.

“Then we can strike its weak point!” Petra finished.

The four of you shot forward at once.

Immediately, a feeling of dismay washed over you. No. Something was wrong. You shouldn’t. You couldn’t go yet!

“Strike her neck now!” Eld yelled, slashing towards the titan’s neck. The female titan opened one eye and whipped her head around, sinking her teeth into Eld’s upper body.

Your eyes widened in horror as the titan clenched her jaws and spit out Eld’s remains.

Petra began to fall to the ground, “h-how? There’s no way it can see! It hasn’t even been thirty seconds.”

You took a few short gasps before recovering, “j-just one eye!”

Petra gasped in realization as she looked at the titan, “it prioritized one eye to accelerate the regeneration…is that even possible?”

Petra sank lower towards the ground as the titan straightened and charged in her direction.

“Petra!” you screamed.

“We need to regroup!” Oluo yelled.

“Petra! Petra! Now! Get up!” your screams echoed throughout the forest now.

“Petra, hurry!” Oluo’s voice joined your’s.

The titan’s foot slammed Petra into a tree and blood splattered the bark. You froze in terror.

Petra…

No…

Not her…

It wasn’t possible…

Oluo’s expression matched your’s for a second until it turned into one of anger.

He flew forward, latching onto the female titan’s now exposed nape.

“Oluo...no!” you gasped, “we have to go back! We can’t defeat her anymore! Oluo!”

“Hey,” he said menacingly, ignoring you as he hovered above the titan, “die!” Oluo spun downwards and slashed at her nape with impeccable precision. It should have broken through no matter what. The female titan should have fallen to the floor, lifeless.

But only shards of Oluo’s broken blade flew threw the air. The titan’s nape had frozen over with ice.

“How?” Oluo asked lifelessly, “my blade can’t pierce it.”

Blood flew out of his mouth as the titan crushed him by hitting Oluo with her hand, causing him to slam against the trees in the forest and fall, unmoving onto the hard ground below.

The female titan landed in a crouching position on the ground.

Your breath came in short, horrified gasps now. Your eyes flickered from each pool of blood on the forest floor and back to the titan. You could see them now. Gunther hanging in the distance. The upper half of Eld’s body. Petra’s crushed spine. Oluo’s broken body.

As each moment passed, you found you could no longer control your anger. Your body trembled with a terrifying rage and you shot upwards into the air.

“How dare you?!” You screeched, twisting and turning, your ODM gear a blur. Your swords clashed against the female titan’s hand, which she used to cover her neck. The shattered ice flew past you. Your blades had broken.

You swung back, flipping over as you replaced your blades, then shot forward again, hacking away at her shoulders and arms. She turned, making a grab for your gear, but you maneuvered out of the way. Tears blurred your vision.

‘They’re not dead. They’re not dead. They’re...’

Images flashed through your mind again.

Gunther dangling from the tree.

Eld’s decapitated body on the ground.

Oluo’s blood streaking the trees.

And Petra...your eyes passed swiftly over her body, her spine broken and her body leaning in an awkward angle against a tree.

‘I’ll avenge them!’

Anger and vengeance hindered your judgement and you swung recklessly at her nape. Broken ice shards flew past you, slicing cuts into your skin. Your blade broke and you swung the other towards her face, screaming at the top of your lungs, blood mingling with your tears.

“(Name)-san!” Eren’s voice called out to you in warning.

Eren? What was he doing here? He was supposed to have escaped to safety! Your comrades sacrifices...they couldn’t have been for nothing!

“Go back!” you hollered at him, “regroup at the wall! Go Eren!”

“Watch out!”

You saw her fist coming towards you before you felt it. No matter how hard you tried to avoid it, she was faster. You felt the impact on your side first. You felt as if your entire body had been torn in half. The air was knocked out of you and you flew backwards hundreds of meters.

The world spun around you and you struggled to control your ODM gear. Your hold on your last blade slackened and grazed your face, causing you to drop it. Your legs and arms moved feebly as you attempted to regain your balance, but you were spinning out of control too fast. You crashed into a tree and you felt your back and head make contact with the hard bark before you fell all the way down to the ground. You heard a scream and an explosion.

‘No...please don’t let it be him...Eren...’

An angry roar of a titan echoed in your ears before everything went dark.

‘You idiotic suicidal maniac.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was hard to open your eyes. When you did, everything was blurred with tears.

‘Huh? Why is my vision red?’

You raised your hand towards a figure in the sky.

‘Ah...it’s blood.’

The figure came closer and closer.

‘Help me...’ You struggled to recognize the figure. Another titan? You saw blades in his hands and relaxed. ‘I know who he is now...’

Levi landed beside you and you were reassured by his comforting presence. Then you saw the expression on his face. Dark...it was horrifying. There was no light in his eyes. He was stoic to everything in the world.

You saw it in his eyes. He had seen them. He had seen the rest of the squad laying dead in the clearing.

You wanted to tell him it was alright. You were still here. It was then that you felt the blood dripping from your mouth. You turned your head slightly, letting out a strangled gasp as you stared at the pool of blood at your side.

Where was it coming from? Was someone injured? Your eyes widened as the blood level rose by the second.

‘That’s...that’s my blood.’

You felt light-headed. Suddenly, the putrid stench of dead bodies filled the air. Although you were almost sure you were imagining it, you felt sick to your stomach. You wanted to throw up.

Levi was kneeling by your side now. He didn’t say anything. You reached towards him.

“Captain...what was I...did I...was I useful?” Levi took your hand in his.

You remembered how he would comfort the soldiers who were on the brink of death. You had never imagined you would be one of them so soon.

“I watched...I couldn’t do anything...Eld, Gunter, Oluo, Petra...all of them are gone...and Eren may be gone, too. I failed you...I’m sorry...I wasn’t...strong enough.”

Levi’s grip on your hand tightened. He didn’t seem to care in the least about the blood dripping down his wrist. He stared at you with his intense gaze. Your eyes skimmed over his hair, his skin, his eyes, his face...everything you had always admired about him.
“You have fulfilled your duty as a soldier. You fought valiantly. I assure you that you will live to fight yet. I will shoulder your strength and fight in your stead. That is a promise I will keep.” Levi’s voice soothed you and you relaxed.

“Really...?” you asked softly. Your eyes began to glaze over.

‘Ah...I can’t see the sky anymore...’

“Then...Captain...” It wouldn’t hurt to ask just one more question. “What was I...to you? Will you... miss me, Captain? Will you remember me?” your voice began to trail off. “I hope you do...I promise...not to forget you.”

You stared into his eyes as long as you could, but your eyelids began to close. Darkness surrounded you now and you went deaf to the world.

‘Wait. I don’t want to go yet. There’s more I need to say. I’m not done. At the least, just for a moment more…

I want to see him...one last time.’