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body div#devskin0 hr { }

Closing his eyes, Felix lets the wind brush on his eyelids as he listens to his surroundings: the birds chirping and cars whooshing by. He lets himself have a moment of peace as he tries to order out his thoughts in his shared garden with the sun having nearly disappeared and light flowing into the darkness from the windows.

When a relationship ends, there’s a good side and the bad side. The good side has the person that instigated the end, who walks away with nothing but pity. The bad side has the person who is left lying in the lurch, not knowing what to do with their vacant chest and the pain that comes from any reminders of their past together.

Felix has never been on the ‘good side’ before.

It’s strange. He’s far too used to his chest aching and too many nights passing out in front of his computer answering emails way into the AM. He’s used to closing himself off and recovering the hard way; on his own. But this time is different, with no ache in his heart and an inkling of freedom he forgot the feeling of.

He doesn’t like it.

There’s almost an odd comfort in feeling sad sometimes, to remind yourself that this it’s okay to feel sad and that you almost deserve the self-pity. Without it there’s almost a sense of insensitivity, a harsh sense of guilt that this time you are the one to leave unscathed even though you still shared half of the attachment and everything else that came with it.

Felix knows that any guilt is more powerful than him for anyone else; he can’t help but place himself in the other person’s shoes, especially when he knows exactly how it feels. He has put someone on the ‘bad side’, and he hates it. He can’t even call or text to provide some comfort in sympathy in fear that they might have just managed to forget him.

His eyes clench as his hand tightens around the handle of the bench he’s sat on. It’s a reminder that just a month or two later, he’s already starting a new path with someone else. Someone that he can tell already loves him, and would take care of him for as long as he can.

Will he put them on the ‘bad side’ too?

He doesn’t know. He tells himself to savour what he has, whilst he still has it.

His grip slackens.

Jack is someone he never thought he might end up with, being the opposite of Felix’s quiet and guarded personality. However, Jack’s loudness soon showed itself to be a way of him understanding people and his openness a way of easily letting people in. The thought and memory of Jack’s arms wrapped around him console him and provide warmth from his heart that spreads all over like a fever, its speed alike to how quickly he came to like the man. His care and trust in everyone was impossible not to fall for.

Felix hears a door open which he is sure is Jack hovering in the house waiting for him to come in. Despite it being May, it’s always cold at night in Brighton and the realisation that Jack isn’t calling out, or using his loudness to prank Felix or order him in is breathtaking. Jack knows that Felix needs his space and yet he is also letting him know that he’s there if he needs him and that he cares.

His chest aches, but not in the way that he thought of earlier.

Opening his eyes, Felix glances at the stars above him before his eyes adjust to the light flooding from the house. He just manages to catch Ursa Major before he stands and faces the back door, watching Jack slouch in the doorway on his phone as if he hadn’t been studying Felix the entire time. Felix smiles at the idea, knowing this is Jack’s way of trying not to impose. It’s cute.

Hearing him walk over, Jack slots his phone into his back pocket and stands up straight as Felix steps into the house. Shutting the door behind him, Felix shucks his shoes off before turning to Jack and lightly kissing the corner of his mouth, a quiet and simple thank you.

“Are you okay?” Jack asks, gently placing his hands behind Felix’s neck.

Nodding, Felix answers softly, “Just needed to think.”

Smiling in relief, Jack tilts his head and tenderly brushes his lips against Felix’s. He moves to pull away after the peck but Felix manages to pull him back with both hands on his waist and the pair grin through the kiss.

“Thinking is good, but don’t do it too much.” Jack smirks and Felix rolls his eyes and the incoming joke. “Can’t have you this sappy all the time or we wouldn’t get anything done.” Jack says, before tapping Felix’s nose lightly.

“As if you don’t enjoy this shit.” Felix says, catching Jack’s wrist on its way back down to Jack’s side. A devilish idea entering his mind, Felix turns Jack’s hand and kisses his knuckles lightly and silently revels in the way that Jack turns pink.

“Uhhm nu-uh, I signed up for gay as fuck Felix, not romantic as fuck Felix, okay? My heart can only take so much.” Jack giggles nervously, getting his wrist back and taking a step back.

“Well tough shit, Irish boy, I’m going to carry you up to bed if you’re not careful.”

“…I’m going to run now.”

As Jack darts up towards the staircase and Felix chases him through the kitchen to the hall, something reminds Felix that this is exactly what the ‘good side’ feels like. He’s already moved on in a relationship he feels he can relax in, that’s equal.

This is what he’s always wanted, and if he had to put someone on the ‘bad side’ to get there for the first time a small part of him doesn’t really mind.

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

Closing his eyes, Felix lets the wind brush on his eyelids as he listens to his surroundings: the birds chirping and cars whooshing by. He lets himself have a moment of peace as he tries to order out his thoughts in his shared garden with the sun having nearly disappeared and light flowing into the darkness from the windows.

When a relationship ends, there’s a good side and the bad side. The good side has the person that instigated the end, who walks away with nothing but pity. The bad side has the person who is left lying in the lurch, not knowing what to do with their vacant chest and the pain that comes from any reminders of their past together.

Felix has never been on the ‘good side’ before.

It’s strange. He’s far too used to his chest aching and too many nights passing out in front of his computer answering emails way into the AM. He’s used to closing himself off and recovering the hard way; on his own. But this time is different, with no ache in his heart and an inkling of freedom he forgot the feeling of.

He doesn’t like it.

There’s almost an odd comfort in feeling sad sometimes, to remind yourself that this it’s okay to feel sad and that you almost deserve the self-pity. Without it there’s almost a sense of insensitivity, a harsh sense of guilt that this time you are the one to leave unscathed even though you still shared half of the attachment and everything else that came with it.

Felix knows that any guilt is more powerful than him for anyone else; he can’t help but place himself in the other person’s shoes, especially when he knows exactly how it feels. He has put someone on the ‘bad side’, and he hates it. He can’t even call or text to provide some comfort in sympathy in fear that they might have just managed to forget him.

His eyes clench as his hand tightens around the handle of the bench he’s sat on. It’s a reminder that just a month or two later, he’s already starting a new path with someone else. Someone that he can tell already loves him, and would take care of him for as long as he can.

Will he put them on the ‘bad side’ too?

He doesn’t know. He tells himself to savour what he has, whilst he still has it.

His grip slackens.

Jack is someone he never thought he might end up with, being the opposite of Felix’s quiet and guarded personality. However, Jack’s loudness soon showed itself to be a way of him understanding people and his openness a way of easily letting people in. The thought and memory of Jack’s arms wrapped around him console him and provide warmth from his heart that spreads all over like a fever, its speed alike to how quickly he came to like the man. His care and trust in everyone was impossible not to fall for.

Felix hears a door open which he is sure is Jack hovering in the house waiting for him to come in. Despite it being May, it’s always cold at night in Brighton and the realisation that Jack isn’t calling out, or using his loudness to prank Felix or order him in is breathtaking. Jack knows that Felix needs his space and yet he is also letting him know that he’s there if he needs him and that he cares.

His chest aches, but not in the way that he thought of earlier.

Opening his eyes, Felix glances at the stars above him before his eyes adjust to the light flooding from the house. He just manages to catch Ursa Major before he stands and faces the back door, watching Jack slouch in the doorway on his phone as if he hadn’t been studying Felix the entire time. Felix smiles at the idea, knowing this is Jack’s way of trying not to impose. It’s cute.

Hearing him walk over, Jack slots his phone into his back pocket and stands up straight as Felix steps into the house. Shutting the door behind him, Felix shucks his shoes off before turning to Jack and lightly kissing the corner of his mouth, a quiet and simple thank you.

“Are you okay?” Jack asks, gently placing his hands behind Felix’s neck.

Nodding, Felix answers softly, “Just needed to think.”

Smiling in relief, Jack tilts his head and tenderly brushes his lips against Felix’s. He moves to pull away after the peck but Felix manages to pull him back with both hands on his waist and the pair grin through the kiss.

“Thinking is good, but don’t do it too much.” Jack smirks and Felix rolls his eyes and the incoming joke. “Can’t have you this sappy all the time or we wouldn’t get anything done.” Jack says, before tapping Felix’s nose lightly.

“As if you don’t enjoy this shit.” Felix says, catching Jack’s wrist on its way back down to Jack’s side. A devilish idea entering his mind, Felix turns Jack’s hand and kisses his knuckles lightly and silently revels in the way that Jack turns pink.

“Uhhm nu-uh, I signed up for gay as fuck Felix, not romantic as fuck Felix, okay? My heart can only take so much.” Jack giggles nervously, getting his wrist back and taking a step back.

“Well tough shit, Irish boy, I’m going to carry you up to bed if you’re not careful.”

“…I’m going to run now.”

As Jack darts up towards the staircase and Felix chases him through the kitchen to the hall, something reminds Felix that this is exactly what the ‘good side’ feels like. He’s already moved on in a relationship he feels he can relax in, that’s equal.

This is what he’s always wanted, and if he had to put someone on the ‘bad side’ to get there for the first time a small part of him doesn’t really mind.