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Chapter 11: Explanations

I blinked my eyes open and woke up to Edward’s angelic face lying next to mine. He smiled when he noticed I was awake.
“Good morning.”
“Hello” I replied, mid yawn. He chuckled.
“Would you like some breakfast?” He asked smoothing down my hair.
“What’s on the menu?” I said playfully while pulling myself into a sitting position.
“I’ll be right back. Don’t move.” He leapt lithely from the bed and disappeared out the door.
I strained my ears to try to hear what he was doing, but all was silent.

My mind began to wander in his absence. In just a few hours I would no longer be Bella Swan. An involuntary smile played across my face at that thought. Today would be perfect and I knew who I had to thank for that: Alice. I couldn’t wait to see how she would decorate everything. Before I could begin to picture Alice’s decorations, Edward had appeared at the door with a silver trey. He walked over to my side and set it carefully on my lap. It was filled with fruit, toast, two eggs, a glass of orange juice and a glass of milk. To top I off he had found room to squish a clear vase with a white rose in the corner of the trey.
I looked up to his eyes, they were beaming. “Thanks Edward.” I laughed. I didn’t need all this food. I began to nibble on my toast as he spoke.
“I know it’s a lot of food, but you had to have your options.” I didn’t like the way he said “options,” it was like it had a double meaning; but I ignored it gulped a swig of orange juice. The acid stung my throat as it made its way down.

“Charlie arrived late last night.” He continued while he was handing me a napkin. I had spilled a little of the drink on my leg as I was clumsily setting it down.
“Oh ok. Is he still sleeping?”
“No, he’s with Carlisle, Esme, and Renée. They were waiting for you to wake up so they could talk to you. I told them you would be done with your breakfast soon and that they could come over at 8:30. Is that alright?”
I let out a grumble but it was muffled due to the banana I was chewing. This conversation I was dreading; and even though Alice said everything would be fine, I was still worried. Edward noticed.
“Bella, it’s going to be ok.” He crooned looking into my eyes. I sighed letting him know that I agreed. I didn’t have it in me to argue. It was 8:20; they would be here in ten minutes.
I quickly shoved the rest of the banana into my mouth, set the trey aside, and hopped out of bed. I was still wearing the dress from last night.
“I will return when Charlie and Renée leave.” He said suddenly from beside me.
He gave me a quick peck and strode smoothly out the door.
I tried to hurry and change my clothes; I had a whole new wardrobe courtesy of Alice.
She had only bought me two pairs of jeans; the rest were an array of skirts. Almost everything was pink. I slipped on a crisp new pair of jeans and a frilly pink top. It didn’t exactly matter what I was wearing because soon, Alice would be helping me into my wedding gown.

Just then, a soft voice said “Knock, Knock.” I turned my head and smiled at my parents.
“May we come in?” Asked Charlie in a gruff tone. Without answering, I ran over to him and gave him a big hug; if I had my way, I would have never let go. He embraced me with the same enthusiasm. Like last night, I began to cry. Renée soothingly rubbed my arm, still wrapped around Charlie, as if to say that everything will be ok. He pulled away and held me at arms length and looked into my eyes. They were wary, cautious and somehow they exuded peace. After a moment he pulled me over to the couch on the far side of the room. Renée sat beside me on the cool leather and Charlie took a seat on the tiny table in front of us.
“Bella.” Renée began but stopped herself. I decided it would be best if I were to begin.
“Mom, Dad,” – I met each of their eyes individually- “It wasn’t what it seemed.”
“What was it then Bells?” Charlie’s voice sounded annoyed, but I knew it wasn’t directed at me. “Please explain.”

Renée took my hand in hers and I inhaled deeply before I started. “Jacob was hurt. He wasn’t ready to let go. He thought he could change my decision, but he can’t, and I told him that. Actually I had told him that before, but he refused to listen.” I took a moment to glance at their expressions before proceeding. Charlie looked confused as he soaked up this information and Renée masked her face in a calm manner, but I could see the panic seeping through the cracks.
“Then-” I started to explain but Charlie interrupted.
“That is no excuse!” He jumped to his feet. His voice was slightly softer than a scream, but it was sill very loud. I had to fight the urge to cover my ears.
“Charlie.” Renée scolded in disapproval of his reaction. Charlie opened his mouth as if to say something, but decided against it and resumed his seat on the table. It was awkwardly silent for a moment as Charlie regained his composure.

“You’re right dad. It is no excuse. There is no excuse for what he did to me, and especially you. But,” -I looked down, unable to meet their eyes- “I have for given him, and I would like it if you would too.” My voice was just a whisper. My words we as surprising to me as they were to them. I didn’t realize it until now, that I had forgiven Jacob, maybe it had a little to do with my most recent dream. In spite of everything he had done, I could no longer be mad at him. Especially considering I would probably never see him again; I would not go through the rest of eternity holding a grudge. I secretly wished there was some way I could tell him that.

“I don’t know Bella.” Charlie tried to suppress the anger in his voice. I wonder if he considered this an act of betrayal, I know I would have. From beside me, Renée squeezed my hand gently. I looked up into her torn expression. She was fighting with whether or not to accept my request. After a second, she said in a hushed tone, “Ok Bella.” And that was all, but Charlie wouldn’t let it go. Didn’t Alice say it would be easy? That they wouldn’t ask many questions? Charlie was muttering angrily to himself. “He was like family. How could he do that?”
“Dad” I sighed in defeat. I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. It made me sad to think about him.
“Alright Bells. If that is what you truly want.” He didn’t sound sincere but I decided to grasp the opportunity.
“Yes dad, it is.” I said solemnly, and tilted my head up to look into his eyes. He nodded once and rose to his feet.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Renée murmured in my ear.
“Yes.” I mouthed.
She stood up and joined Charlie’s side.
“Bella?” Charlie spoke slowly and precisely. “I respect your decision. And”- he paused to think- “ I forgive him.”
“So do I.” Renée added sincerely.
I let a smile play at the corners of my mouth. “Thanks.”
They both took me into their arms, neither one entirely ready to pull away. It was me who detached first from their loving embrace.

“I suppose you should be getting ready.” Renée wiped the away the tears from my eyes with her finger.
“Yeah. And this time it’ll be for real.” I forced a laugh. It didn’t sound normal, but they seemed to buy it.
“Maybe Alice will let us help set up.” Charlie added, his voice seemed lighter. I knew he said that out of politeness. He wasn’t into decorating, let alone, Alice would probably have a fit if the slightest thing was out of place.
“I wouldn’t count on it dad.” I laughed again, this time more natural. His face crinkled into a warm smile.
“I’ll see you at the isle.” He winked and thudded from the room.

“Mom, are you going to see if Alice needs help?” She was still staring at me, but laughed when I asked her that question.”
“Yes. Maybe she’ll let me fold napkins.”
“Maybe.” I smiled slyly. “Or maybe not. She has a certain ‘formula’ for that.”
“Honey.” He said, her tone changing dramatically. “Are you sure you’re alright?” She asked for the second time.
“Mom” My voice had turned whiney, I altered it immediately. “I’m perfect. You’re here and dad is here. And on top of that, I’m getting married. I couldn’t be better.” She evaluated my expression to make sure I wasn’t hiding anything. When she seemed satisfied, she said “Ok. Well, I will be back up with Alice and Rosalie and Esme later to help you into your dress. I’ll see you then.” She turned and strode towards the door but stopped abruptly to take a last glance. “I’m so proud of you, honey.” And then she shut the door behind her.

***

It was only a moment until Edward had slipped back in.
“How it go?” He breathed from behind, wrapping his arms securely around my waist.
“Alright.” I admitted. He rested his chin gently on my shoulder; I could feel his cool breath at my ear.
“May I ask you a question?”
“Anything.” I answered a little too quickly. I was usually always a little cautious at his open-ended questions. He smiled at my easy compliance.
“Would you please tell me about that dream you had the other night?” Of course. I didn’t want to tell him, that much was for certain, but I had already agreed to answer.
“Do you really want to know?”
“Only if you want to tell me.” His voice was calm and I couldn’t detect any signs of impatience or eagerness. Despite my previous reluctance to tell him, I decided that it was only fair. I had given my parents an explanation for their questions, why not give Edward one as well?
“Ok. I will. But please remember that it was only a dream.” I urged.
I could feel his jaw tighten on my shoulder in response to what I said.
“Ok.” He said pulling me on the couch and placing me on his lap.

I explained the dream in full detail, not leaving anything out, though I probably should have. Edward was as still as a statue for the whole thing. Occasionally his lips curled back over his teeth and a low growl of fury erupted deep in his throat at the mention of Jane’s name. He was very silent when I had finished, his face had turned astonishingly white. And I desperately searched for something else to talk about to alleviate the newfound tension. After a long while, he spoke, his voice distant.
“That won’t happen.”
“I know.” I said soothingly. He took my chin in his hand and turned it to face him. His eyes were pained, and I could see that this was more than a dream to him.
“Nothing will happen to you. I will keep you safe. Forever.” His eyes shifted to the heart pendant hanging from my neck.
“I know.” I repeated.
I knew I shouldn’t ask the next question, but it was looming in my brain like a dark rain cloud.
“Edward?” I removed my eyes from his face.
“Yes.” His voice was still distant, thoughtful.
“Is there any news about the” -I gulped-“Volturi?” The last word was just a muttered whisper. Edward’s body shifted uneasily beneath mine.
“No.” he sighed. “And for now, that is a good thing.” He began toying with my hair, twirling it around his finger. “We will be gone by sunrise tomorrow.” His voice was suddenly lighthearted and mischievous. I smiled when I understood what he meant.

“Alice is on her way.” He said abruptly, changing the subject.
“She’s early.” Shock and disappointment coated my voice. He laughed and lifted me gently from his lap.
“I will see you soon.” He kissed me on the forehead, brushing his lips down my jaw line and finally his mouth met mine. This kiss not the gentle peck I had received earlier but more passionate. Too passionate for a “see you soon” kiss. But I welcomed it all the same. I knew Alice was close because I could feel his lips curl into a smile and his hands prying my tangled arms from around his neck; the usual routine. My mouth twisted into an involuntary pout. It was a childish reaction, but I couldn’t help it.
“Soon.” He repeated with a sly grin as he headed towards the door. And I knew this time he didn’t mean the wedding. I could feel my cheeks grow embarrassingly red hot on my face, and I’m glad he had left before he could bare witness to them.

Only two seconds passed in the time it took from Edward to leave and Alice to arrive.
In her delicate little hands was a large bag filled to the brim with cosmetics.
“Oh God. You’re going to turn me into a clown.”
“Look, we can do this the easy way. Or we can do this the hard way.” She held a stick of eyeliner in her right hand as she crouched low to the ground like she was ready to pounce.
Her lips curled back behind her teeth and she let out a playful snarl, making her way towards me.